I really need a pep talk....:(greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
Hi, everybody. Did anybody miss me? I've been too depressed to post lately. I'm getting close to being too depressed to do anything at all. Anybody know what I mean? It's so damned lonely, there is no one around here that will even listen without either blowing me off as a nut, or patting me (figuratively) on the head, then blowing me off as a nut.
Believe me, I am VERY grateful that my husband is a GI and is every bit as much into preparedness as I am, so we have a solid team effort. Trouble is, this Y2K thing seems to have left me isolated from all of my other relationships. I've been trying SO hard to maintain friendships with the ol' gang, but they all either think I'm crazy, or that I'm paranoid and crazy. I didn't try to ram anything down their throats, honest!
It's just so hard to carry on the old conversations, do you know what I mean? Little Freddie's soccer games, and about that new hairdresser at the shop; all the way to the meaning of life. I can't seem to talk about the future as if nothing is going to happen. It just makes me feel so much worse.
Oh, remember how I said our families were all convinced to come up and stay with us? Just so much eye-wash. Thanks to Peter Jennings and his network news chumleys, they are assured that troubles will be minor at worst. So it's gotten really hard to talk to them, too.
I just need a zap of enthusiasm, or something. I'm not even going to let myself start thinking about what will happen when things start to get bad. Dealing with things right now is tough enough.
I'm sure some of you understand how I'm feeling, don't you? Maybe even worse, because I know how awful it was when my husband still thought I was out of my mind. Thank God he started reading the articles and press statements from the internet I kept printing.
Well, some words of encouragement would really be appreciated, folks.
And Mr. Milne, if you read this, don't yell at me for the way I'm feeling, or punish me for asking for some moral support. Emotional preparation is fundamental, isn't it? If I said I was having trouble finding buckets or a re-load kit, you'd think me wise for using this forum as a resource. Well, I'm in search of a boost from the folks I know will understand.
-- Arewyn (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999
I think you spend too much time on the subject. Do your preparations and go on to other things, not much more can be done. Try to carry out the old conversations; you should be safe knowing you won't die. And I'm not Paul but seriously get a life!
-- Lucy (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Chin up, woman! Been there, done that, hell, AM there, DOING that. It's very difficult, being schizophrenic. You just have to pretend Y2K is a big secret and you can't tell anyone yet. If you keep trying to talk to people, well, when Y2K turns out as predicted, they'll resent you for being right. And you know from reading this forum that if they can't get supplies, they'll be coming to you for a handout.
Rotten situation to be in. Only Sweetie and our good friend The Hungarian Get It around here. My father and son get it but they're a long way from here--still, it helps to be able to talk about it on the phone with them.
Hang in there, the tide is turning, really it is. It might be another couple of months but things will break. Okay, some say at the end of the summer, in the fall, maybe even October, but it WILL happen.
In the meantime, shhhhhhh! Talk to forum folks. I'll e-mail you privately as well.
-- Old Git (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
I don't know if this will be comforting in the least but I can say that you are not alone! I know that many people on this forum are experiencing the same thing you are. Myself included. It would be nice if we didn't have to rely so heavily on our cyber-friends for understanding. However, I have found that these folks are the ones who truly understand the gravity of the situation. Like you, I have a GI husband. He is my rock. Family and friends with few exceptions are totally DWGI. I come here to share and learn from people who have great knowledge. You are important to this forum. Everyone that comes here has something to offer. I would like to encourage you to keep focused on your immediate family. I find that I can easily get into overwhelm when I start thinking of the grand scale of y2k. It can become paralyzing, but we can't afford to let that happen. Best wishes to you and your family.
-- Sharon (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Arewyn - *please* vent here, as often as it takes - this forum is as much about emotional support as anything else. I had a long period this winter of barely being able to function at all, and the parallel universe aspect of Y2K makes it that much more difficult. A few things have happened to make that easier. It has become much more socially acceptable in the last several months to talk about Y2K, but of course if that doesn't include your loved ones, it will still be very hard. Preparing has helped relieve my panic, but has accentuated my depression that my community is asleep. I am making inroads at work and am very fortunate to have the encouragement, both professionally and emotionally, of my department head during a time when I have not been nearly as productive as my company has a right to expect of me. 1999 - The Year of Living Schizophrenically. Please stay in touch with us!
-- Brooks (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Hi Arewyn - we haven't talked since November I think. Glad to hear from you again.
You are not alone. So often it seems like we are banging our heads against the wall with trying to convince others. It is just part of being a Get it, for those of us who are also spreading the Y2K word. I had a rough spot not too long ago and just wanted to scream. I will try and find the thread for you and post a link. You asked for a zap of enthusiam and this post is only a zip, but I hope it helps you anyway. I'll go and get that thread now and post a link here. Chin up, Arewyn, we are all in this together.
-- Rob Michaels (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Arewyn, tried to send you mail but you use a fake address too! Sorry, my mailbox is too full of spam already, don't want to put my address out here. Never mind, you can always post and the forumites will keep you going.
-- Old Git (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Ever Just Wanna Scream
-- Rob Michaels (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
I empathize with you.
My prediction is that you will be able to survive and even prosper in the long run.
Read, think, prepare and follow your instincts.
I've lived in TEOTWAWKI for many years. I'm still here and am in better shape physically, mentally and emotionally than most people much younger than I. Since I could not change the big picture, I taught myself to enjoy the follies of man.
-- Not Again! (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Arewyn,...yes, I have had similar feelings. About 10 months ago a bunch of us Yourdonites were going nuts. There are old threads about Cognitive Dissonance and the roller coaster ride of our emotions. It is normal. It would not be human to be cool and kick back about Y2K prep, and the potential for so much change.
I love what everyone else has said in response. Be nice to yourself,...don't worry too much about feeling what you are feeling. Try to get some fresh air daily.
(love this Brook, quoting you: 1999, The Year of Living Schizophrenically)
-- Donna Barthuley (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
I can relate to much of what you've written.
Part of me has become very resigned to not surviving this, simply because many of us won't. For many of us -- whether we prepare for Y2K or not -- these will either be our last few months of life, or our last few months of tolerable living for a very long time.
If that's the case, & I think it is, why not try to enjoy them? Try to enjoy each & every single day, each meal, each sunrise & sunset, each conversation, even the dumb ones. Because this may be the last time you'll ever be able to enjoy anything in this lifetime.
Each moment of each day is a gift from God, & only God decides when & how it's going to end. It may end long before December 1999, by the way.
-- well (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Hello Arewyn: Two nights ago I spent 1 hour on the phone with my friend in Dallas. She is going tru the same rollercoaster. And so is her husband. They are way ahead on preparations, but she can't understand the recurring feelings of helplessness. My standard answer to friends I've helped with this feelings is to take a break from the job of preps; take your mind off y2k, and do something else for a while. Frankly, easier said than done; but it worked for me, and it is the only experience I can share. I discovered the problem in summer of 1997; I confirmed the info. in October 1997; and had a depression until march of 1998. From then on it's been nonstop on preps., and have "helped" several friends and persons cope with the rollercoaster. I hope you understand that this feelings are normal. You are just human. God Bless
-- Eli (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Trust me, you are not alone in this. Two suggestions:
1) Start thinking of this forum (and perhaps others) as your extended cyber-family. I sense that your depression stems from not being able to help anyone you care about, because they won't listen. Well, we are listening, and you can certainly help each of us, even if only with an educated opinion, a prepatation idea, or an honest question. Get to working helping those whom you can, and you may be too busy to fret.
B) Try reading some of the humor threads. I know, I know, waste of space and all that, but I think many of us who have been at this a long while have turned there for a chuckle with our friends. And try to post there, too. There's nothing like wearing a cyber tutu and balancing on a ball, to make you take yourself less seriously.
-- Lon Frank (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
I do agree with almost all of the responses. Best bet is to just be silent....Do what cha gotta do....Dont worry about what 'they' think.BTW, who are 'they' anyhow? Bear in mind they may not listen now, but they will remember...Many are preparing without saying anything. I got real depressed to. I quit telling people. Take it slow, and enjoy what we have now. One day at a time. If it doesnt get bad, and for the record, I believe it will be alot worse than being stated, there is still this economy that is in jeopardy. I like what most have said regarding getting goods while cheap. We never know when a layoff could occur or other bad things. Hang in there and keep silent. It WILL pay off.
-- consumer (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
I know exactly what you're going through. I've been bombarding my family since October 1997 with Y2K information, so most of them are aware and preparing to some degree. In fact, this week my elderly grandmother finally GI. She showed up in a truck wanting to go to Sam's and pick up sacks of beans and rice:-). Slowly but surely, people are coming around.
However, I have quit trying to persuade my friends of the seriousness of Y2K. I've provided them with a huge amount of information, but basically all of them are still DWGIs. I've done my duty; I'll talk about basketball or football or some other trivial matter, but I won't say much about Y2K anymore (even when they try to goad me into it for their own amusement).
My advice is to post here as an outlet for what you really feel, and don't try to save the world. You can't, for a variety of reasons, so don't dwell on it. I post here primarily as a way to get relief from the DWGIs that I have to deal with at work every day. I'm having to keep a VERY low profile professionally, so I really need this outlet.
Case in point: I actually had the chairman of a bank tell me this week that if the government would stop making public announcements about the seriousness of Y2K (i.e., Senate Y2K report), everybody would make it into 2000 with no problems. He's the most ardent DWGI I've met (and I meet a LOT of them).
Anyway, feel free to join us Yourdonites here when you need to vent. I'm beginning to think that this is one of the few vestiges of sanity left in this insane world. Stay strong; many of us are in the same boat.
-- Nabi Davidson (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Arewyn: Welcome back! Mrs. Rimmer and I are right with you on this one. Since the middle of last year, we've been speaking to all our friends and relatives, giving them both news and preparedness information. A few are taking things seriously but even those people are not dedicating the time and resources needed to adequetely provide for themselves. The rest are comforted by simply calling us 'nutcases'.
We have been preparing for 8 very long, very hard months. Yet, we are still far from ready for anything but the most moderate of disruptions. We only ran our very first test 3 weeks ago (48 hours with the main breaker shut off). We learned that we were not nearly as ready as we thought we were. We learned that we need to run more of these tests and are trying to figure a way to run some week-long (7 day) tests. We are middled aged wimps going from total dependency on 'the machines of our lives' to 'still dependent but somewhat more resiliant'. But as you are well aware, it is not simply a matter of simply things - if that were the case this would be easy. No, there's also a tremendous amount of education and leg work involved as well as learning new skills. It is a huge task.
We are doing this so we will NOT need to panic. We are doing it so that we will not be burden to either our neighbors or our community. We are doing this because we believe we should take responsibility for ourselves.
It has consumed a huge amount of our time and resources. We have (willingly) given up a lot in order to make these preparations a priority. We have changed both our lifestyle and our outlook on life. The vast majority of people don't have any concept of how much time and effort is required to go from total non-preparedness to even a modicum of short-term self sufficiency. Many of us here on this forum know because we are living it. But the vast majority of our community believe this is something they can start preparing for in December. And yes, I also worry about this.
I see nothing so horrible in Y2K that it cannot be overcome with hard work and preparation. Y2K is not an asteroid. It is something that we can prepare for.
In Iowa, as well as in other cold climates, when you go outdoors in the middle of January, you put on a coat and gloves and hat and boots. If you do this, you may not enjoy the cold but it will rarely be life threatening. On the other hand, if you venture out unprepared, you can find yourself in very serious trouble very, very quickly. Each year here in Iowa, confused elderly people (as well as some people who should know better) venture out without remembering the preparations that must be made and each year these people die quickly. The cold is an equal opportunity killer and it shows no mercy.
Don't let your depression paralyze you. There is still time to do some things. Keep trying to talk to those who will listen and realize that if it turns out you are crazy, you've got a whole lot of very good company here.
-- Arnie Rimmer (Arnie_Rimmer@usa.net), February 26, 1999.
Arewyn: Quit whining!! You should be feeling smug right now. I am feeling that way because of all my efforts of preparation and just the assurance of knowing that I am ready for Y2K, an earthquake, a tornado, etc. It should not matter to you at this point in time if people around you don't get it. It has now become a personal matter because time is running out...it's too late for many. The best people can do who all of a sudden get it at this point in time, is to stash some food and some water. It's too late to move out of the city and too late to warn their loved ones and friends to get prepared. By the time it really sinks in and they decide to do something about it, the grocery shelves will be slim pickings. You need to stick around here more, there's plenty of amusement to put a smile on your face.
-- bardou (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Hello and my sympathies Arewyn,
Everyone seems to be responding to the potential crisis in their own way. Some on this forum seem to delight in their special knowledge, referring to the rest of society as "sheeple" and talking about when the "herd turns." Others seem overwhelmed by despair and/or fear for themselves, their families, and even the rest of humanity. Others have accepted the unknown and seem to be able to cope. But, as you probably realize, fear of the unknown is very difficult to cope with. I think it is normal to feel depressed in this situation. When you think about the potential for disaster, how can you not be depressed?
But, you can get past the depression, at least in part. If you have ever had a serious health condition, as I have, you go through a process of accepting your mortality. It's not a comforting process of course. It's difficult and heart wrenching and no one wants to go through it. But you can, if you have to. I think that you and the rest of us are going through something similar now. Whether the Y2K condition will result in disaster we don't know. But to contemplate that possibility is to begin to accept that we may experience loss, of one kind or another. Very sad, for all of us. No wonder you're depressed.
In sympathy, Meeko
-- meeko (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Same here. It's mind-boggling the depression I have sometimes.
I force myself to keep on with the preps, tell myself to stay away from this forum (and CAN'T do it!) Sometimes I turn the computer off and just walk away for a day (LOL! haven't made it past a day yet). You just gotta sometimes. The information overload gets to me some days.
I understand your frustration with being labelled a "nut case" etc. My hubby and I are both GIs and some of our family is too. However, even the GIs in the family are still somewhat skeptical. I.e., father- in-law has approximately 150k in the stock market - mostly in the utilities (can you say YIKES?). He won't make any changes. He won't budge. We have suggested that he might want to consider moving his investments around...no go. He has a generator, they are stocking up, and they installed a woodstove and a hand-pump, and yet he doesn't *really* believe that the banking industry or stock market will have problems or even maybe crash. He also doesn't believe the IRS has problems. Go figure.
I give people the info when they ask, but when they get that "aw, yer nuts" look on the face, I shut up.
Thank goodness my husband and I are of like minds. Don't know what I'd do if that weren't the case.
All I can tell you is keep your chin up. Ignore the DGIs. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.......
Be glad your husband is with you on this anyway.
-- Bobbi (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
I promise you, I am an expert at surviving depression. What I have learned to do is to perceive the gloominess and malaise as ballast to be stored against the time when the balance tips, as it surely will. Without such ballast, the upswing might result in a rather unpleasant ride itself! All of Creation is cyclical, and this too will end as it becomes the other half of this cycle--contentment. Things may well get worse before they get better, but they will get better! Endure, secure in the knowledge that the cycle is not yet run.
And don't be such a stranger around here! We all take strength from each other and you can "pull an oar" as well as any of us!
-- Hardliner (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
I'll take a shot at trying to give you some encouragement.
I can relate to what your going through. Plodding on with life as normal is difficut with this problem always lurking at the forefront of my mind too.
I take my children to their various activities and naturally meet up with other parents who are just nattering on about anything other than Y2K. I try to socialise as best I can, but am not really with it. My mind keeps drifting to Y2K and I just keep thinking about how sad it is. It concerns me that all these people just don't have a clue. I mean not a clue. It mystifies me how they don't even appear to feel a teensy weensy bit of interest in finding out more about this problem.
My husband is ridiculed at work by his co-workers. He still keeps trying by giving them information that we print up from the net -- just gets thrown straight into the trash right in front of his eyes. They don't even bother to read it. Don't be mislead by that. He hasn't taken that much in. It started off with the American Red Cross brochure, and the FEMA information, and then the US National Guard information. They're just not interested. As far as they are all concerned it is just HYPE. It doesn't help when there seems to be a differing of opinion between the programmers at his workplace who are working on the problem. I think this makes it even harder for him to believe that the problem is serious enough to consider preparing on a larger scale than just 72 hours, a week, or even two weeks.
For the last few weeks I have been consumed with obtaining as much information as I can about this problem. What I find so hard is the wide range of differing opinions from relevant sources. Government officials run the gambit of -- nothing to worry about -- to -- we do have something to worry about.
I see this national and global crisis with all the efforts that governments, etc. are taking in order to try and deal with it -- yet there is no clear leadership by any of them.
The public is not being told anything that is clear and concise by any of their leaders at the highest levels of their governments. We appear to have committees that are at odds with one another. Some US government officials have considerable opposing views to other US government officials. The same applies within the technology industry and the utility industry. It all leaves my brain reeling and my head spinning. A few weeks ago it was not as turbulent as it seems to have become recently. At least I had a day or two to digest so-and-so's view. But now we seem to have officials, news articles, and media coverage that is running the gambit from non-alarming to alarming. To try and make any sense of it is becoming increasingly more difficult.
This is a rough scenario of what I have gone through within the last few weeks:
1. Initial awareness of the apparent seriousness of the problem and it's implications.
2. Total disbelief that I wasn't aware of any of it.
3. More disbelief, bewilderment, and anger.
4. A night and day of intense panic (for me) which lead to even more disbelief at my reaction. During this period I sat up most of a Friday night drawing up preparation lists and spending the next day grocery shopping for non-perishable goods. I don't feel any shame in this because I really feel that this is a normal reaction for ensuring the survival of my family -- primarily my children. I have learnt that my children are foremost in my mind.
5. Panic buying eased off.
6. Intense thirst for information set in. I couldn't break myself away from the net. I was gobbling up anything of credible evidence I could. This went on for about two weeks. This family discovered through that time that the household suffers without mom to oversee the daily running of it. My husband was great through this time. He allowed me the time to work through this. I shook myself out of it somewhat when I suddenly realised at the end of the second week that it in fact was the end of the week and not the beginning of the week. I had lost total track of time big time. I had a lot of household cleaning and tidying up to do.
7. From there I moved into a calming phase. I then spent some time going to various stores to purchase preparations. Nothing extreme or hog wild. Felt calmed and confident that we had this in hand and were on top of it. This didn't last for long.
8. Went through a yo-yo period of is this real or not. Kept checking the net for current information. Things started to be heat up and coverage was becoming more intense.
9. I am now at the point of running the gambit of all the emotions above only on a milder scale.
At this point I honestly don't know what to believe. I do know I have a really bad feeling about this thing. I don't feel reassured by much of what is being printed and said. I have this alarming awareness that there doesn't appear to be a clear-cut consensus of opinion how this thing is going to go one way or the other. I find it extremely disturbing that our leaders at the highest level are reluctant to address this problem directly with the public.
There is an obvious concern for public fear, stockpiling, and the dreaded curse of all bank-runs. It is obvious that desperate attempts are being made to prevent this. Will these work - I have no idea. But it seems obvious to me that this poses a very real threat in itself that is being addressed INCREDIBLY poorly.
I can't help but think that even though I may well be totally confused as to what I think is going to happen the powers that be surely by now must have some significant data and projections telling them what might happen and what game plan to take. Is this why yesterday as reported by NBC news that the White House is setting up a command post -- say War Room!!!! Seems REALLY extreme for a snow storm doesn't it? Isn't it about time to tell the public whether we are at war with this problem or not.
We don't appear to have a united government prepared to unite it's citizens to handle this war - never mind a united states.
Now having said all that I can then go to the other extreme and wonder if this really has been blown way out of proportion by the technology industry. Hmmm!! has to be a real massive unconscious conspiracy going on there. I wonder if this problem is that serious. Perhaps a lot of it has been fixed and still a lot more can be fixed in time enough to pull us through without too much difficulty. However, I just don't see the documentation and hear the sincere assurances that this is so. But, is it so.? Do we have masses of incredibly greedy programmes and companies milking this problem for all it's worth? If this is so, surely the government would have uncovered it by now and there would be no need for the American Red Cross, FEMA, and the National Guard, and whoever else to be swinging into high gear with preparedness actions.
THE WHOLE THING IS TOTALLY INCREDIBLE, RIDICULOUS, AND LUDICROUS.
Oopss!! I'm sorry - I had to vent a little. Just look at the way this crisis is being handled by our esteemed global leaders.
They're not handling it very well. How the hell do they expect the public to handle it any better.
Oh dear!! dear!! Arewyn sorry. I was supposed to be boosting wasn't I. SIGH! I think I need to hug my children and spend some time with them and experience the world through their eyes for a while. That always cheers me and helps me regain my focus on what's important and what's not.
Take care Arewyn and try to remember that even though we're not close physically there are souls that feel what your going through and understand. You are not alone and never will be.
You can only do what the rest of us are trying to do and that is understand and do the right thing for our famililies - and our communities if able.
-- Subarb (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Hello Arewyn. Hardliner is right, things do get better, it's a matter of surviving the depressing days. Winter Blues might be adding to your Y2K stress and gloomy feelings. Arewyn, there's 10 whole months to enjoy in plentyfull times, don't cheat yourself of them. Come on the forum and participate in the goofy/funny threads and allow yourself to laugh. A good laugh brings things in perspective and gives you strength to face reality (it's actually proven to affect your metabolism positively, brain and body..endorphin and adrenaline release, lowers blood pressure and more. Vents your stressful frustrations by laughing at life.)
Be kind to yourself, give yourself plenty of credit for trying so hard to wake people up, but don't take responsibility for their inability to understand and/or refusal to understand. You must respect each person's choices, whether you see them as self-destructing or not, that's liberty. All you can do is give them the info in the best manner you know how. Hold on to your GI husband and praise and thank him often. Compare yourself to people in worse shape than you are, and thank yourself for all the work you did and still doing.
Hang in there, you'll feel better again soon. Soak up the sun as much as you can, and get enough sleep.
If you want, e-mail me and I'll relay Old Git's email address to you. Old Git's got a great knack for uplifting conversations :-)
-- Chris (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Nice to see you back, now let's see you front. OK, now you side. OK now de udder side. NO NO de UDDER side. Lean foreward. DATS RIGHT!! OK now how about the brain. NO NO DA BRAIN!! OK NOW I GOTS LYNX FO YA:
Runaway and join da Circus
Try 'em You'll like them. Mikey likes them. But you gotta put your nose up against the glass to see it's in there. Stronger than dirt. Dry rot in the roof beams. OOOOPS Got a LITTLE carried away. Enjoy chuck http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000XiI http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000W78 http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000Imj
-- Chuck, night driver (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
WOW! You guys are really great. Some really terrific responses.
I started posting my answer before there were any answers, but kept getting interrupted so by the time I posted all you wonderful kind people had already done a much better job.
I enjoyed your responses and found they have helped me too.
What a forum!!!
-- Suburb (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
"Believe me, I am VERY grateful that my husband is a...."
YES! Find as many things to be thankful for as possible, focus on these!!! Make a list! Keep it near.
"It's just so hard to carry on the old conversations, do you know what I mean?"
YES! Keep trying, they can be a blessed distraction.
"Thanks to Peter Jennings and his network news chumleys, they are assured that troubles will be minor at worst. "
Can't help you here yet, these people make me gnash my teeth!
"I'm not even going to let myself start thinking about what will happen when things start to get bad. Dealing with things right now is tough enough."
Yes! One day at a time. Don't stop coming here...the humor & understanding alone can be a tonic.
I only GI in Jan. so I'm afraid I don't fully understand what it's like as the months/years roll by. But DEPRESSION, now that I understand.
"I'm getting close to being too depressed to do anything at all. Anybody know what I mean?"
"It's so damned lonely," "isolated"
Telling you to cheer up will not make it go away. Avoid refined sugar like the plague, it will make you feel more depressed. Cut out/back caffiene, same reason. Excercise (I know this is probably the last thing you are motivated to do...) it will give you more energy & cheer (ever hear of a runners high?). Excercise will also improve your appetite (if yours has been affected). Drink as much water as you can force down your throat, this is good for your brain (home of depression) and will help flush toxins out of your body. Watch funny movies, read funny books, hang with funny people (laughter really is good medicine!)
DO THESE THINGS. Please do them before your brain chemistry takes over and you can't do them. It's kind of hard to pick youself up by your bootstraps, when you don't have boots!
Make sure your Husband knows what you're going through.
Now I am going to end with this snippet from the Bible, hope you don't find it offensive:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by PRAYER and supplication with THANKSGIVING let your request be known to God. And the PEACE of God which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything is worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.
Thanks! I needed that reminder myself!
-- Deborah (noFlames@please.com), February 26, 1999.
Wow! This forum/community is really a bright spot in a desperate year. Don't be embarrassed to come here often and drink deeply. This IS the healing community we're not finding out there.
One thought for all about convincing DGI's: Ed Yourdon's example of what you would do if you saw signs of a fire in a theatre (Haven't read it lately, so I'm going from memory).
As it's turning out in 1999, we are in that theatre; but (for one reason or another) we just can't get up right now and walk immediately to the "exit" for our own (and family's) safety. So, if we speak up now, and are effective in warning others, we will be crushed in their stampede to the exits. (What! They won't stop to thank us for the warning?) Are we sure we want them ALL to get it until our own preparations are complete?
Selfish? Or self-preservation?
Family members, yes, but the community around us? My depression (yes) over this, mixed in with life's other burdens, has hampered my efforts at preparation. I'm just not READY yet. (Getting $ out of winding down a business)
Also, family members are members of society at large -- not extensions of ourselves. They are no more likely to GI than any randomly chosen person. Bashing yourself against their denials is more painful than anyone else's, probably. I have stayed silent within my family, and only a few trusted friends have heard my minimum descriptions of y2k possibilities.
Also, the joys of a GI spouse. You've agreed at one level on what must be prepared for, but at other levels, your conflicts and struggles go on, and your individual fears of what is ahead will feed back into your marriage and y2k preps in weird ways (such as impulsive non-prep spending)
I'm hoping soon to be largely unemployed for the rest of this year. Few of my existing clients are likely to pay me enough to be worth distracting me from learning about seeds and generators 'n' such, when the money will not go as far later this year toward the needed preps.
("Self-employed" -- that used to be a definition for "un-employed", didnt' it? but I never learned to say "NO" to new requests for help with peoples' financial planning, and eventually I got overloaded. 1999: The Year to Say NO.)
-- jor-el (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
"I'm sure some of you understand how I'm feeling, don't you?"
You aren't alone : )
Some years ago I had some very, very dark days. It was a revelation I had when I contemplated the following that helped fix the balance in my life...
You cannot understand or appreciate absolute joy and happiness until you understand and appreciate absolute dispair and sadness. If there were no understanding of the pain in life, the could be no understanding of pleasure life has to offer. Don't get caught up in the pain, get lost in the pleasure.
There is some excellent advice on this thread to help you get the balance back in your life.
If none of that works, steal your husband and go off somewhere for a romantic weekend. Don't tell him. Don't give him any hints. You two, just go get lost somewhere.
-- Michael Taylor (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
To survive the depression that can easily overwhelm me I limit my daily dose of gloom and doom...check the Y2K sites only once a day. Instead I try to involve myself in positive things...like planning the garden and working on my quilts...all helpful in a future world but still things I enjoy now. Take time to smell the roses...better yet forego some extra Dinty Moore and buy yourself a big bunch of flowers...light some incense...put on your favorite CD...read a good novel...go for a walk with your hubby....immerse yourself in a hobby you've neglected while stocking up...... and remember that life is here-today-don't let it slip by worrying about the tomorrows.
-- MUTTI (windance @train.missouri.org), February 26, 1999.
AReWYN!!!! BE NoT AFrAiD!!!!! COuNT YOUR BLeSSinGS, LOOK WhAT THe prESSuRE HAS doNE to diEteR!!!! IS It NOT SaD????? DIeTER HAS LoST IT anD BeCOMe thE EATeR OF CHiCkEN HEADS FRoM THE stRess, HAS HE NoT????? OnE MUSt onLy lOoK TO DIeTER TO feEL BETteR ABoUT ONes seLF, IS ThIS NOT SO???? DIEtER FEeLS YOur paIn, BUt CAnnOt hELp moRE THAN This!!
PLeaSE BE STrONG FOr diEter, DIETeR CANNoT BE STrOng fOR YOU!!!!
-- The reAL Dieter (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Welcome back, Arewyn!
Yes, we missed you.
Every now and then it gets to be too much, and honestly I have a glass of wine, and watch a classic romantic movie ...
Or take a walk and sniff flowers ...
Watch a butterfly flit ...
Feel the sun on my face, so I know what is still REAL ...
And remember that some loving being IS watching over us all ...
Feeling any better?
I know. It gets rough.
(P.S. Old Git you can send me your real e and if Arewyn sends me hers, Ill link you).
-- Diane J. Squire (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Wow, Arewyn, seems like this is the thread of the day! EVERYBODY can relate to what you're dealing with. I've certainly spent my time lying in bed on a sunny Saturday afternoon with the covers over my head.
It's definately difficult to find actual human people to talk to about this. Discussing on the internet is great, but once in a while you need to be able to look into someone's eyes and know that they know what you're talking about and that there is connection. I can't look into your eyes here, or see your expression. I think that's important.
So, let me tell you a quick story and make a suggestion:
I posted on a thread a few days ago that I had placed an ad in the "Personals" section of one the local rags, looking for a "Y2K compliant girlfriend." Well, I'm starting to get some responses. Last night I met a terrific woman who "Gets It," and we had a great conversation. This was the first face to face conversation I've had with anyone who gets it, other than family members. It felt incredible. We were on the same wavelength. (it certainly didn't hurt that she was incredibly sexy, but you know what? that wasn't all that important...) I have plans to meet someone else next week, and another message I haven't responded to yet.
Even if nothing happens with any of these people in the relationship arena, it's nice to be able to talk to someone local, and not have to be on the defensive.
So my suggestion is this: I don't know where you live, but most even medium sized cities have papers that have those Personals ads. The paper I placed mine in has a section for "Activity Pals." It's not just people looking for mates. Might not be a bad approach for meeting local people who want to get together on a personal level, who are on the same page as you. So you can look 'em in the eye...
-- pshannon (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
Dear Arewyn -- I understand what you're going through. Been there. I hope you feel all the energy we are all sending to you. Lean on us when you need to.
It's very hard to go on pretending life is normal. Those of us who GI often look at people we see on the street and wonder if they know or what will happen with them. And the preparation tasks often seem overwhelming. When I was writing my dissertation, I had a sign up on my computer that said "One word at a time." It really helped me put things in perspective: I didn't have to do it all at once! (Actually, I couldn't have!) Try to remember that you can't do it all at once. Take one step at a time.
In the meantime, do good things for yourself. Take time out to have a cup of herbal tea, to take a good long bath, to go to a mindless movie (preferably a comedy), to go get a massage, to spend time with your partner, children, and pets. Get out in the sunshine too -- it boosts something in your body chemistry to make you less depressed. Know that there are lots of folks out here rooting for you! Feel free to e-mail me if you like!!! Good luck and peace be with you! -Libby
-- Libby Alexander (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
I have only been reading this b-board for a couple of weeks. I only GOT IT about eight weeks ago. So I know where you are coming from. We have a small group preparing for next year. With a late start we have been working day and night to try to get ready. It really can be overwhelming. I echo what others have said, try to break everything down into smaller parts. I have found it very useful to keep lists and mark things off as I complete them. In this way I can see some progress toward my goal. I think all of us still have a good deal of time to prepare if we put the hours to good use. In my area at least. I don't have any trouble finding most of the supplies we need. Here in the mid-south apparently I am surrounded by DGI'S. Try to keep a positive attitude, I have found that the power of positive thinking can make all the difference.
-- Wiley (email@example.com), February 26, 1999.
She needs an enthusiasm "zap".
Anybody find one, or must we keep looking beneath the lost red socks?
-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.R@csaatl.com), February 26, 1999.
Enthusiasm Zap ... Heads Up Arewyn!
-- Diane J. Squire (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 26, 1999.
Wow, Arewyn, I could have WRITTEN your post! My husband and I GI'd immediately sometime in early early 1998 and have been preparing ever since. The first week I walked around with a massive migraine and stomachache but then we got busy preparing and I felt better. Well, now it is a different kind of depression. I'm signing my 4 year old daughter up for a short soccer clinic in the spring and she is so excited she keeps talking about playing for a league *next* spring.
MAkes me sad. I was watching all the baby videos of her tonight and got to wishing I had another one when I had the chance. (Literally can't have another now. Not just Y2K.) Y2K seems to hang like a dark curtain over my life nowdays, though I try not to let it get me down. It seems the closer it gets, the more depressed I get.
And like you, almost no one in either of our families are GI's. I have only mention Y2K to my best friend and she blew it off and said, (laughing), "Ok we'll buy some extra Ramen noodles, will that make you feel better?" Since that, haven't even mentioned it to any other friends, and I feel GUILTY about that! We have my husband's best friend visiting us this weekend and he saw all the food in one closet and said, "DANG! Are ya'll expecting a tornado or a snowstorm?" I waited to see what my husband would say and he said, "No, we just like to shop at Sam's." Also my 6 gallons buckets arrived today and Scott wanted to know what they were for. We were at a loss for words. Would he think we were kooks?
And as someone who thinks Y2K will be above a 5, I get VERY sad at the thought of possibly (probably?) losing many family members who are TOTALLY unprepared and in VERY bad places to be.
This post was supposed to cheer you up...well, I guess I wanted to say you cheered me up, (and all the responses) b/c I realized maybe it isn't just me going crazy. It's just hard b/c normally you have plans and dreams for the future and my husband and I stopped thinking that way last year. All I can envision is the canned food, rice and beans, fear, survival, then what???????? I am one of those who think things will *never* quite be the same and that is depressing in and of itself....oh, well, sorry I didn't do much cheering up. I guess somedays I just get sick of constantly thinking in survival mode.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
-- Plodding Along Somewhere in TX (email@example.com), February 27, 1999.
Thanks, Arewyn, for sharing with us. You can certainly tell that you've hit a common nerve.
There've been different times over the past year when I've been frozen by depression - overwhelmed. Usually Y2K was only part of that. The best way to overcome is to DO something, anything. Buy some more food, or maybe winter clothes (on sale big time, now), go for a walk, coffee with a friend, read a 'light' book, see a light movie, listen to a favorite album. Most of all, accept that you are doing all that you can do, whether it's enough or not, whether you are doing an hour/day or 10 hours/day, it's all that you can do. If you're a parent, you likely know that feeling already; doing all that you can do.
One thing that I've found helpful is to take time imagining my daughters alive and well as adults in a post-Milne world. Even in an Infomagic situation, what's truly important won't change - people will love their families and want them to thrive. I like to imagine them in a post-2 world, too, even though I doubt that can happen. I do this as I pray for them, I find prayer helps, too. If you don't object, I'll pray for you, and yes, I'd welcome your prayers for me.
-- Tricia the Canuck (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 27, 1999.
I think one of the most frustrating and depressing experiences is to have had our pastors reject my plea for a "support group" to help those of us in the congregation and/or community who desperately need help in coping with the Y2K issues. Feeling alone in a church community of nearly 2000!
Wish I could send a zap of enthusiasm, but I feel the need to absorb rather than give (though I do know that in the giving we somehow receive what we ourselves need).
Something my mother once told me keeps coming back to strenthen me in times like these: Mom was the mother of an even dozen children- bearing and raising children from 1915 to 1935 (when I was born, the last of the 12). [No electrical gagets and appliances to help her with her day to day chores; the depression; loss of one child through death, another child killed during WW II, etc..] One time when I was in a meditative and nastolgic mood, I asked how in the world she possibly found the energy, physically and emotionally, to do the work she did over so many years. Her answer: "I just had to. There was no other choice."
Peace and love everyone.
-- PJ (Just@here.com), February 27, 1999.