The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Springing like Venus, fully grown from the head of Zeus, from the debate logic thread, comes your next opportunity to exercise good mental health and prepare for Post Y2K employment by securing your job in:

The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus

Lon and Donna have stated their preference to be clown/jugglers and Clown supervisors. Positions open for trapeze artists, contortionists, dog-and-pony acts, adorable wild animal acts, barkers, cooks, concessionaires,...etc.

Don't miss your opportunity to secure a birth in what is sure to be a blockbuster entertainment apres 1-1-2000. (Job requires 6 month road tours per year.)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999


Tacky, but effective, keeping with my responsible job as clown supervisor,..I push this thread to Recent Answers.

Come one, come all...The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus awaits you....(wow...visions of Something Wicked This Way Comes)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Hmmm. Uh, well, Can I, ah, well, Would it be OK if I , er, well, What I'm trying to ask is, well, uh, Do you think you have a place in this here circus for, uh, well, ah, nevermind.

-- Rob Michaels (, February 25, 1999.

You are weird ...... Go listen to Tom Brokaw or something.

-- Jon Johnson (, February 25, 1999.

I believe Stephen King could whip out a best seller with this cast and this theme.

-- randy flagg (, February 25, 1999.

Come on now Rob,..don't be shy! (HONK! She squeeze the clown nose)

The sky's the limit. Imagine our own Cirque de Yourdon!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

OOH, I think we have some applicants for "the fire-eating man"

-- Lon Frank (, February 25, 1999.

Greybear,...your suggestions for concession are great...cut and paste them here....!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.


Bad, Bad mistake. Supervisor of Clowns?

There are just too many of them around here. If they all apply at once you're a gonner.


For the concessions we could have:

Beans and rice in a cup.

Spam on a stick

Popsickles made from bottled water

Pop corn with re-constituted butter

And ALL the wheat berries and powdered milk you can Ever eat.

-- Greybear, and you just won't believe the shooting gallery

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

Donna: Don't you think I am too serious for something like this though? I will trust your judgement.

Greybear: You still have an OP report to submit on the other thread, even if you take on these additional "duties". :)

-- Rob Michaels (, February 25, 1999.

Alright, but if I don't get the pickle concession, it'll be after the fight!

And maybe my brother-in-law, (Nine-fingers Budreaux) could do his semi-trained alligator act. It's a hit here on the bayou.

-- Lon Frank (, February 25, 1999.

SILEnCE FOOLISH WoMaN!!!!! IS NoT DietEr trYinG TO SLEEp???? SILeNCE i SAy!!!!! DO NoT AWaKEN DIetER WIth sucH NoNSEnsE!!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 25, 1999.

Maybe big problem. Chicken shortage.

With this crowd, the side show will have soo many geeks in it that it may impossible to find chickens for miles around.

Big Dog or Lobo, we were wondering if either of you might learn to bark the National Anthem. (We won't even be too picky about which nation)

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

Rob, as is plain to see, my communications Sgt. has gone to sleep on the job. Report will follow soonest available. Some agents not returned yet.

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

Dieter,..sorry we made so much noise...inherent in the circus and clown business. But as long as you're awake...try that cannon out for size, wouldya.

Ladies and Gentlemen....children of all ages...we need a ringmaster/mistress....! Step forward, Oh Ringish One!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Dieter, don't let her push you around. I promise we'll have a net for your cannon act. You can trust me, I used to work for the Government.

Quick, Donna. Get the powder, I think he's going for it.

-- Lon Frank (, February 25, 1999.


Look to you right and left....

The rest of us have steped back.

Beside, you never know when a bunch of Romans may show up and you're the only one who could talk to them.

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

SILENCE JACKALS!!!!! HusH NoW, CaN YOU NOt????? HOW LowLy IS IT TO TormEnt diEtEr????? EnOuGH JAbbERWOckEY IN DIeTers eyeS!!!! SouLleSS INfIdELS!!!!! HeLLo???? BEgOne foOliSh oNes!!!! HYeNAs!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 25, 1999.

",...and they all moved away from me on the bench,..."

Alice's Restaurant

Rob....a circus job is perfect for one as serious as you. You ever hear the Smokey Robinson song: "Tears of a Clown"? "Balance, Grasshopper. Try to grab the pebble from my hand." (Let's see how many popular metaphors can I thrown into one post? What's a clown to do?)


-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

-- I wanna play (, February 25, 1999.


Our idea man hit the jackpot. We need hyenas. STOP. It's way too easy to nominate any/all of the politicians for the job, just because they feast on the work of others, and fight among themselves a lot.

BTW, where's Old Git, we need some Hurdy Gurdy dancers. I know she knows how to dance, and she may be the only one here other than greybear who is old enough to even know what Hurdy Gurdy dancers are.

-- Greybear, who finally got that italics thing down.

ps, does anyone else keep hearing March of the Gladiators in the background?

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

I know what Hurdy Gurdy is...and I'm NOT old enough. Nyah, Nyah!!!

Get Old Git!!!!

We need a clown car, Lon!....See what you can do.

Dieter...If you don't like being shot out of the cannon,...perhaps you'd do the Homer Simpson routine and have a cannon ball shot at your stomach nightly. It's a hit with the GenX crowd.

Can we book Smashing Pumpkins for the Circus Band? Can they play March of the Gladiators? :-)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Donna: Does this ringmaster have to have a mistress. Dear Mrs. Michaels would not hear of it! She is calling me now since it's lights out time. Perhaps I can hold the net that Dieter is going to be shot into from the cannon. :)

Greybear: I used to know what it was - they say the first thing to go is, uh, well, I forget.

BFN, Rob

-- Rob Michaels (, February 25, 1999.

Lon, maybe we need a Clown Ringmaster....I'm nominating YOU! (music swells dramatically in the background). Clown Circus:Clown Ringmaster...and in all deference,...the circus WAS your idea. And to think,...I taught him to juggle,...

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Rob,...if Lon doesn't jump on the opportunity to be ringmaster,..I think it is a perfect job for one as serious as you! :-)

BTW, the ringmaster can be a married, faithful soul. But the groupies will be a terrible temptation, and of course then there are the adoring fans....Are you up to the task?

How do you look in a clown nose?

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

A bit of S. California circus trivia: There is a shoemaker/repair shop in my town that makes and sells those great clown shoes....

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Donna, I suspect you're bringing back painful memories for Dieter. One too many shots as it were . . .

-- I Know (Who@He.Is), February 25, 1999.

When Mrs. Michaels punches me in the nose it turns quite red and gets to be about double in size (she has a brown belt). If I take this job and she finds out about the groupies you will no longer have a ringmaster. :(

Hopefully, there will be another job that I can do that is a little safer, like taming wild tigers. There she is again calling me - gotta go now - see youz guyz tomorrow.

-- Rob Michaels (, February 25, 1999.

I know it's probably occured to most of you already, since the ol Bears so slow, but

We gotta have bread, lotsa bread

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

Of course, we'll need a liason with the FRL for when we have to pass through hostile territory....we might even ask them for a deal on fruitcake for long as nobody throws the stuff at the clown car. They'd cancel our insurance for sure if that happens.

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Donna, are you gonna JUGGLE? Ah, shoot. I thought you said JIGGLE.

Gotta get these bifocles fixed.

And I'll work on the clown mobile after I get through helping Diane get all her tatoos in the right places (yowzers!)

-- Lon Frank (, February 25, 1999.

Breaking News:

Donna, The Clown, arrested late tonight for jiggling while juggling....(film at 11)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 25, 1999.

Girl, you can come on down to Texas. We don't arrest folks for that. But if you start spoutin Latin, that'll get you in trouble every time. "Boy, don't she talk funny?"
"Shur duz, whur u rekon shez frum?"
"I dunno, but she looks like one of them Frenchies"

-- Greybear (, February 25, 1999.

Don't forget the mud wrestling girls. We can clean that up -- in a pool of fruitcocktail jello they go!

I can play the fiddle & Ashton the drums. Seems we'all had a thread about this once, round the campfire, hhhmmm, forgettin like Rob -- oh you know, the first thing that goes is actually the muscle tone -- sag before lag.

Sumpin about popcorn, anyone able to link to that old thread?

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, February 26, 1999.

Aw, Donna, Say it aint so!

(Maybe she was juggling while under the influence of Jiggle Juice.) BTW, that's bottled right here in Geezerville-On-The-Bayou by my cuz Ignoratiam Chalmet. Send along a blank check and I'll do the rest.

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

Ah, welcome aboard, Leska and Ashton!!!!! Bravas!!!!

Mud wresting, I'm afeared is a must...something about juggling and jiggling...Check with Lon on that.... :-) I think we'll need special Yourdon Y2K T-shirts for all the participants. How about including talent from the audience...might be a crowd-pleaser...

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Leska, I'm sorry, but you've already been drafted into the cotton candy corps. See the thread about Argument..if you dare!

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

Have ya got yore Midway Barker ya-et ma-am?? Or I could always DRIVE the Clown Car (We used to have one of those at work. . . ummm nother story). or . . . . maybe. . . . NO!! I DON'T DO ELEPHUNTS!!!! nOR HOSSES NEITHER!!!!! errr iT 's cAchINg!!!!


-- Chuck, night driver (, February 26, 1999.


Always wanted to try that.

No offense meant Donna. No hard feelings? oooooops, too many lines to that one. ah well.


-- Chuck, night driver (, February 26, 1999.

Lon, drafts make me cold ;-D Not a male 17-45 that KoSkin'em can "redirect as warranted." Happy homemaker? No, no, no. Cotton candy? No, no, no. That's what K is dishing out. No, it all wreaks of coinertion. Nomadic, wandering minstrel. Circus ... hhmmm ... Anyone seen "A Bug's Life?" Can it become any more apropogo? No, no, no ;^D

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxx

-- Leska (, February 26, 1999.

I got the solution to one of our potential problems. If Dieter comes around giving us too much flak, we'll just put him in charge of the beavers. That should keep him busy awhile.

-- Greybear, who is very disappointed that no one asked him why we have to have a bunch of bread. (One of the reasons, among many, that MaMa Bear has been my favorite for 28 yrs is that she feeds me the straight lines, right on queqe.)

-- Greybear (, February 26, 1999.

You're hired Chuck

But we gotta talk about that elephunt thing. I aint doin' it by myself. And that unicycle-ridin Greybear's got the big head now that he's gonna be a concession billionare.

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

OK, GB, I'll bite on the bread question. Actually, I was workin up nerve to do it anyway, just wanted someone else to be first in the bozo line for a change.

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

Seems like being a bozo would be a diserable thing hangin on this thread.

Anyway, haven't you seen the many historical refferences splashed about on several threads. I know it's been quoted at least twice:

Give the common man the vote and they will surley vote themselves bread and circuses.

-- Greybear, who is just trying to be accomodating to the customers.

-- Greybear (, February 26, 1999.

OK, I'll LEAD the elephunts. And we get to go BEFORE the horses, donkeys, mules etc.

gotta keep the white buck shoes white.


Chuck, who has seen this add in the paper just as the circus is about to pull out of town!!!LOL!!!

-- Chuck, night driver (, February 26, 1999.

Greybear, does this vote for lots of bread mean that you're a common man?? 'I don't think so, Tim.'

I kin wok mit cats'n'dogs, no dogies. Birdz ok. THems lik me.


Now our carnival

builds up to a pitch, spinning,

and starts with a bang!


You can do it, Greybear, 5,7,5 all less than 10!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 26, 1999.

Ol' Massa Mencken say dis, one time he do:

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American people"

Sho 'nuff...

-- Tom Carey (, February 26, 1999.

Y'all have reminded me about a question I've wanted to ask someone for a while now. It has to do with the fable of the Five Blind Men from Hindustan. I've seen it mentioned on this board a couple of times.

For those not familar with it, I'll give a brief review. There were 5 blind men (form Hindustan) who went to investigate an elephant. One felt the trunk, One an ear, One a leg, One the side and the last the tail. They all got back together and discussed what that thing really was. (this story is particularly good for us on this board since we all see a different view).

Now my question is this. Don't y'all think that last guy, if he'd just hung around and investigated a little longer would have probably gotten an additional message that might have cleared up the problem right away?

What are we gonna do about those messages?

-- Greybear, who can't wait to see the gif somebody digs up on this one.

-- Greybear (, February 26, 1999.

Sorry I wasn't here when this thing got going. No dramamine for the various spins and I got a [fill in the blank with your favorite expletive] headache. Now I have the shakes and I'm seeing non-compliant pink elephants from withdrawal symtoms, so this thread will give me a good fix. Thanks to y'all for that.

Okay, first off, can we call it Edward Yourdon's Magnificent Flying Circus? I'd be glad to take on the Ringmistress role--Ha! Gimme that top hat and whip and pass me that black leather thingie.

Hurdy Gurdy? Hell, I remember the Viennese waltz, Boston and military two-steps, Virginia reel, charleston, foxtrot, quickstep, hoochy-coochy, jitterbug, paso doble, cha-cha, locomotion, twist, and all the rest that followed on. But my favorite of all was the bump, especially after I gained a little weight. Are y'up for it, Dieter? Hello?

-- Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

The correct answer is B: It looks like a pill box. (Big pill)!

Ringmistress, I don't think I can handle Lobo or BigDog, but I really am generally good with dumb animals (I talk Circles around them). ANd I have my own 2 cats and a parrot (I even talk circles around her!). So can I try to be a trainer, please (just no cabeese)?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 26, 1999.

Tricia, if you can train cats then you MUST be good. Hired!

-- Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

Cats is easy, you just have to want them to do what they want to do!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 26, 1999.

WOW! I'm late, but I've got on my pink tights and tutu and I'm ready to be the trapeze star! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, February 26, 1999.

Uh, Gayla, I think you were nominated to bareback riding. The tutu was supposed to be for Robert Cook (or was it SOBob?). If horses don't appeal, they're still looking for someone to train Lobo and BigDog in the national anthem. :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 26, 1999.

Bareback? You mean I have to ride around on the back of a horse BARE? Oh.... well.... um.... If I'm going to do the Godiva thing, I better let my hair grow a little longer. :-) How come Robert gets the pink tutu?

-- Gayla Dunbar (, February 26, 1999.

I don't really erememter, you'd better chech otuy the logic/arguement therad.

I geuss i'll fo to bed. typing flieu getint woers!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayels@teluspalnte.nte), February 26, 1999.

I vill now set up my tent, in zee cirkuss parkink lot.

Cross my palm vith sillver and I vill gaze into ma crystal bawl.

Yesss, it iz gettink clearher. Lon iz lezz fuzzy now. He is balansink on rubbher bowl, in a selv tatooed tu-tu-2. Ver-r-r-eee funneee. He slip-p-p. Go kabump.

DiAna Ze Seeress

(Whew, can I toss this costume now? This tent is foggy! Gotta check out the merry-go-round on the half-way, uh, midway).

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 26, 1999.

Vell, Im ba-a-a-ck!

For-tunes, anyonek?

DiAna Ze Seeress

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 26, 1999.

Well, well, well. I take a little nap and look at the amazing and magnificent things you all have accomplished! Dang, I'm proud. So glad you all could join our humble little troupe, everyone!

On with da show!

"For the benefit of Mr. Kite there will be a show tonight on trampoline."

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Chuck: Hey man, you woke me up and I haven't even had the java yet - that's some bark you got! I am sitting here PBC (posting before coffee) which is alsways dangerous.

Greybear: LOL about dem 5 guyz and the elephamt.

Tricia: Hurry and get some rest before you get another rounf of that typin flu.

Diane: Great Seeress of the fortunes, look into your cyrstal and infirm us of that whichwill bee.

Donna: I accept the office, or room, or broom closet, of FRL Lesion!

Now it's time for that coffee - see ya'll later.

-- Rob FRL Lesion Michaels (, February 26, 1999.

Tricia, shall we get some pigeons to put the cat amongst? The highlight, of course, will be when we let the cat out of the bag. (Now stop it the rest of you, no naughty posts about how many ways to relieve a cat of his outer covering, nonna that stuff.) And I think a mild demonstration of how a cat always lands on its feet is in order--we all can relate to that.

I'm going catatonic from all these feline references, y'all have a go.

-- Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

Okay, you guys forgot something *very* important! Port-o-johns!


-- Bobbi (, February 26, 1999.

Wow Bobbi, you are right. Good catch! Now, since we have 'em for Johns, can we get some for Donnas, and Lons, etc., and don't forget a Port-a-Rob too, and how about one for bears, and cats, and dogs, and...

-- Rob without-a-port Michaels (, February 26, 1999.

Would you believe Sweetie and me have one? (Not one of the commercial ones, Pack-a-pottie is it's overly cute name.) There are some mysteries that should be preserved post Y2K.

-- Comfortable Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

Will Port-o-Yourdonite do?


-- Bobbi (, February 26, 1999.

Bobbi: OK, I feel relieved :) Try saying this out loud quickly: Port-o-Yourdon - has a nice ring to it , no? Perhaps we should check with Ed first - since this here magnificent and colossal circus is named for him, it goes to follow, it comes to follow, or doesn't follow at all but insteads leads to the delusion that these ports should also be named after him too. What do youz guyz think?

-- Rob Michaels (, February 26, 1999.

Come one, come all! The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus train is loading up in preparation for a whirlwind continental tour!

Open auditions held here daily. Got hidden talent??? Always wanted to join the circus? Don't miss your golden opportunity!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.


I cum vith a kitty catz 2. Hey lik a goot parade, Donn-A.

DiAna Ze Seeress & Yourdonite E-Gypsy

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 26, 1999.


Vrong crystall. I mean 'Ole Git-ty. Rob-e-e-e 2.

DiAna Ze Semi-Seeress

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 26, 1999.

Diane, I'm just fond of the costume, especially the whip. Don't look for much direction from me. Now where's that chain?

-- Naughty Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

How about a little Elephant Walk music?

-- Lets dance (, February 26, 1999.

I love that song. I used to teach it to my elementary school music classes. They requested it daily.

"Make believe you're in a jungle movie.
Watch the baby elephants go by....
The groovy.
It's a brand new dance you ought to try....
Come to the jungle, and see the animal attraction;
Baby Elephants in action walk!

Diane Dahlink, luk maavelous in pink!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Hey! I can play the jug!

Mmmm, Mmmmm, Tasty too! Hicup! :)

-- Rob Michaels (, February 26, 1999.

I'm impressed, Rob! Seems like a few out there are expressing interest in not only doing an act in our little circus, but doubling in the Official Circus Band.

Yes, it's shaping up nicely!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Sign me up for the Freak Show! (any DC Talk fans out there?)

[Labored breathing]

I.. am not... an animal!

I... am... a human being!

!~% <- Elephant Man emoticon

-- Mac (, February 26, 1999.

We are really hoppin' now! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

-- Bobbi (, February 26, 1999.

SILENcE!!!! QUiEtNESS NoW!!!!! BE HuSHED OF ThIS insTAnT, You FOoLS!!!! WHY MuST You chilDREN prATTLE ON SO???? pepPeRonI????? HAvE NoT YOU A HeART FOr poOr diETERs BLeedING EaRS???? AWAY FrOM DIetERS EYeS YOU VULtuRES, AWAy!!!!! hOW MAy thREAds OF INsaNITY MUst yOU CAuSE????? How DEeP IS YouR DEPRaViTY????? hoW BLacK IS THE CoaLS OF YoUr heArTs???? SILeNCE NoW, CAn yOU???? eNoUGH FOOLisHNeSs!!!! ENoUGH I SaY!!!! OH LoRD, Why do tHESe foOls jab At diEter's livEr????? whAt has dIeter doNE????

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

hoW BLacK IS THE CoaLS OF YoUr heArTs????

Dieter you have a problem with subject and verb agreement would be: hoW BLacK ARE THE CoaLS OF YoUr heArTs????

Oh, Lon,...I leased the Clown Supervisor's luxury car. Got a great deal. I'll share it with you. We can set up a schedule. (Honk!)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Oh, for Heavens's sake!11

Just LOOK at this mess. I leave for a couple hours to help my cuz Iggie, down at the still....ah, I mean bottling plant (thought it would be a good idea, since we're going global with this circus thing), and just look what you all have done. Crystal balls under the couch, tutus flung about everywhere, and ...WHAT is that I'm STEPPIN' IN??? CHUCK!!!! I tole you to keep them dudgum elephunts otta here!

Whew, it musta got funner and funner after I left last night.

Lon- (mumbling to himself), Do I gotta do ever'ting 'round here myself? Damn elephunts.

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

aw...Lon. ((((((Lon))))) But, it's good to know that we all can rely on you to pull together all of our creative mess. What is that activity called??? Hmmm....Is it management? Codependency??

More hugs...(((((((((LON))))))))))

Ever feel like: Sisyphus???

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Honestly...I'm laughing and crying so much I can hardly see...Poor Lon!

Sheeted woman loves to chuckle! (not to be confused with Chuck and the elphunts!)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Donna, I think you may be on to something here.

We need to go on a elph-hunt. We could capture some of the little buggers and train them as clowns. Could get a lot moer inta the car.

And speaking of Moors, don't we need a few of those just for exocitica.

On the food front, it looks like Chuckie is going to insist that we sell TVP burgers. Not so bad when you realize we gotta use all that bread for something.

How about The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus adn Fertilizer Distributors. Naw too flashie.

I would like to add a flea circus to our agenda. As long as I can avoid that relly mean bad one.

You know, the one refered to in "the wicked flee when no man pursues"

(I'd give just about anything to be able to play the sound of a drum doing a rim shot at the right moment. I do hear it in my head, along with the voices)

-- Greybear, who did actually think a while back about a thread comparing Y2K preps and Sisyphus.

-- Greybear (, February 26, 1999.

Who you callin' a sissy? I'd like ta see you followin' them elephunts around in the proximity that I have to. It' aint exactly raindrops and sunshine fallin' on my head, know whut I mean?

And I'm glad to see that big grey flea hotel is back too. Maybe he'll part with some of the bilyuns of bucks he's making with his bottle ring-toss skam to buy us a Jumbo-Dumbo-Pooper-Scooper. (BTW them's made right down here at Geezerville-on-the-Bayou, by my nephew, Crape' Chagois.)

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

GB! Great Idea...say...odd coincidence, but my dad's initials, and how he was referred to for years, still is, by friends and family alike was GB....(twilight zone music...)

Flea circus is good...we'll need a large magnifying glass for the audience though, don'tcha think?

Now about that drum rim know how the stand-up comedians do it? (Da dum dum dum)...Apply it liberally.

As for Y2K and Sisyphus, I've connected them for 8 months or so...I have the same animation on my Y2K document on my web page. Wrote a sonnet on Sisyphus and futility too....

Like minds...wacky as hell!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Hullo Gange. I peel fritty gud! Aftre driknig thits hikup wiine an naw thejugg iz emt pee! Hee Hee Ha Ha! Buts ihav to b onist wit u hkikp that's I cnat' singe asgud naw untile itwaresoff wittle bits hikoff -------I shudbeokbye2morrwlatr.

-- robmichles (sonof@foget.heehee), February 26, 1999.


You can drive the clown car. You're obviously too drunk to sing.

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.


Hey, Lon. I'm thinking of calling up Freddie Mercury from the great beyond to sing at our debut with Queen...some of their old stuff..."We Are the Champions",..."We Will Rock You". Whatdya think? Maybe we could get both Diane and Deborah to work on contacting his other-worldly agent/publicist, get him to sign on the dotted line...Eh?

"Bit by bit, putting it together,....bit by bit, link by link, inch by inch,...and the state of the ART!!!" From 'Sunday In the Park with George' by Stephen Sondheim

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Shhh... Down here on the bayou, we don't make light of the folks from the beyond. 'Specially before the moon rises.

I don't know them musical people you do, but I went and heard Wayne Toups at Clarice's Garage and Entertainment Center in Mamou, oncet.

-- Lon Frank (, February 26, 1999.

"Step into my booth and I'll read your palm. I knowyour future..."

-- PNG (, February 26, 1999.

Ah PNG...we are honored by your presence. But, did you have to bring that graven image with you...hahaha....!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.


We need a motto for our troup. Now since all the really great mottos are in Latin we shold have gotten something from Donna. But it seems like everytime her Latin genes (I think see buys them a el Gappo) kick in all she wants to do is argue.

So you local dancing Bear has dug in to his dim, foggy memory and resurected (yeah, there are a lot of dead things in there) an old Latin motto he remembers from somewhere. Presented here for your consideration.

Oce umbilli, Se umgo

Fortibus es ena row

O nobili, de maint trux

Demis onligee sean dux

-- Greybear, purveyor of Latin mottos

-- Greybear (, February 27, 1999.

GB, I think you've intimidated everyone away.

I guess being the cat trainer, they think that I can handle bears,too.

Please don't bite my head off - just post a translation, okay?

-- Tricia the Canuck, in calm, quiet voice, with knocking knees (, February 27, 1999.

GreyBear: ROFL! Reminds me of an joke that made the rounds years ago:


Is there a melody to your motto?


-- newbiebutnodummy (, February 27, 1999.

Well, since you asked. [It all works so much better when they ask]

The sad little saga encapsulated by this ancient poem is the story of one who is trying to see beyound the range of their vision and the truth becomes clear only later in the story. Let the truths and wisdom contained herein speak to us across the ages.

While the name of the original author has been lost in the mists of antiquity, scholars believe that it is one of the two famous personages mentioned in the classic example of brevity in communication. For any not familar with that classsic exchange that would make any Mainer proud, here follows that example between a tailor and his customer.

"Euripedes!", "Eumindides?"

Here's the original saga (author unknown) for your convenience:

Oce umbilli, Se umgo

Fortibus es ena row

O nobili, de maint trux

Demis onligee sean dux


O see 'em Billy, see 'em go

Forty busses in a row

O no, Billy, them ain't trucks

Them is only geese and ducks

--Greybear, try to arguementum with that Mz Barthuley, haa!

Modern scolars think these may have been stealth geese.

ps, We just want to establish for eveyone that we ain't no ignernt bunch of rubes.

-- Greybear (, February 27, 1999.

Well, now you done it GB. These were my last clean pair of clown pants, too.

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Hokay darlingks,

DiAna Ze Seeress, checkink in vith some bad newz! Zis mornink I vok up ant my crystall bawl she go clazy!!

I mustve beenz gazink intoo da crystall bawl twolong becuz she very tirehed of Why2K or Knot 2Kay

So she varn me I goink to start ceeink thinks!!

And vat due I cee???

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Vell fer one think...

Robert Cook in hiz pink tutu!

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

And tehen vat reallyy buggg me...

Donna, Jiggles ...

Not Juggles, unner tha influence ofv Jiggle Juice

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Den i cee somvon I dont know. Musty bee a Yourdonitey lurkerrr lookink...

I hear Dier Warnink Look To Your Right And Left

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

You really don't stand a chance when you gotta use just words, do you? Even if you can eyetalicize them.

As a great web maven once said.......{sigh}

-- Greybear, the graphically impaired (among many other impariments)

ps, It WAS great to finally see what Donna looks like.

-- Greybear (, February 27, 1999.

Ma sha! I'm impressed!

I sure wish my new state-of-the-art Commodore could do those dancing thingies. I'm gonna call my cuz, Professer Penny Pettycoart, aver at BIT (that's Bayou Institute of Technology, right down here at Geezerville-OTB) an' see if she can teach me how to do 'em.

P.S. If you find one a me an' them dam elephunts, go bowlin' with that crystal ball.

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Vell Greybera I cee youu tooo! Funny think, tho. Yove turned brown!! Vat dat mean? No cofee or too much?

Helook stompin becauz dee geeks not dancink rightee!

Greybears Side Show Geeks

Hez all watch over buy alarmed ...

Greybears MaMa Bear turnink brown vith surprize too (much cofee!)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Den I start seeik mre thinks. Its Lon!

Lon, Clown Circus: Clown Ringmaster

Lons, Nine-Fingers Budreauxs Semi-Trained Alligator

Anne anuther voicee -- Lon -- yellink ...

WHAT is that I'm STEPPIN' IN??? CHUCK!!!!
I tole you to keep them dudgum elephunts otta here!

(Lon prettee quick -- changez costume!)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Den I start herink musick...

Leskas playin on Fiddle & Ashtons on Drums

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Den I cee Rob an hez got twoo choicez ...

(Rob, PBC posting before coffee)

Nowz, Rob-e-e-e...

Vhich vould vou rather haf?

Robs Adoring Fans (Groupies)

ore little saver job tamink Wild Tigers?

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

SILENcE JACkAL!!!! IF YoU ArE A SEeR WHY caNNoT YOu seE HOw yoUR INsaNE RAMBLInGS DEsTRoy DIEtER's miNd????? ENOUGH!!!! ENOugH I saY!!!! LOoK INTo yoUR CRysTAL baLL AND VieW THe eMptY SPAce whERE WAS ONcE YOuR HEART!!!!! IT IS EmPtY, colD ANd daRk, IS IT Not???? INFIdEL!!!! WHy in THe NAmE OF GOD do yOu suCK DIeTERS BRAIn oUT THRouGh diETER'S EYES????? GO AWAy!!!! OF ThE MomeNT IMEDiAte!!!!! HYeNA!!!! HeLLo???? OuCH!!!

-- Dieter (, February 27, 1999.

I suddenlee hearz a funee soun! Lostz voice panikee.

Its Dieter beeink attacked ...

Why do tHESe foOls jab At diEter's livEr?????
whAt has dIeter doNE????

He try to prtek himsel but poppll in back juz keep therz laughink ...

Laughing Hyena (Not SILENT JACKALS)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.



I alway thought that was what those Cajuns would look like if you could ever catch one out in the day light.

But fer how cum u got de bar makum him look soo mean? (Dam he's even get me talkin like a cajun. This is MUCH worse than typing flru).

BTW, I've been wondering about something. How does a cajun pronounce the name of that bleach product. Would it be clor-o? I'm pretty sure the ues all those exes just so they can add to the confusion. (As if being a cajun was not enough).

Another pressing question:

Given that we are an unconventional bunch (there's the understatment of the week), what colors will we want our stripped Circus tent to be? Or do we want stripped? Maybe we want checked. That way when we travel, if we have to ship out tent if can truly be checked baggage.

-- Greybear, so MANY questions

-- Greyberar (, February 27, 1999.


Zee crystall bawl slow down ... goot think too!

(Thready overloadk)

If ve mooff too new thread, meybeee goink ta cee more!!

Lot'sa visionz due I cee!!

*DiAna Zee Seeress* ... signink off ...

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.


Purple, green and gold. Las la bon ton rollez, ma sha'. (or something like that)

My tent-maker cuz, Omar Olivier, can make it in his shop, right down here,.. well, you know.

Speakin' of Madi Gras, dint I see your magnificiant grey bulkness there (as one of THE FLOATS?) HYUK, HYUK. Just a little elephant humor. I been hangin' out with them boyz WAY too much.

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

There have been sightings of Greybears rude imitators in many places. My only question is how could you tell one from the other in all the Fat Tuesday festivities? It's sort of like trying to track the original Dieter. (some of the humor over there is pretty hard to top)

I second the emotion for another thread. Donna. Where are you Donna?

Don' t think I ticked her off over the Latin stuff, do you?

-- Greybear (, February 27, 1999.


Just one moor think. In responsez too ...

LOoK INTo yoUR CRysTAL baLL AND VieW THe eMptY SPAce whERE WAS ONcE YOuR HEART!!!!! IT IS EmPtY, colD ANd daRk, IS IT Not????

Vell, my crystall bawl is a goot shapt shifther!

*DiAna Zee Seeress* ... signink off againee...

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.


Naw, Donna's down there with my cuz, Iggie. They're sponcering a 24 hour jiggle marathon to aid the graphically and italically challenged.

I just hope we don't have to spring her from the hoosgow again.

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Ooooooh! This is getting to be sooooo much fun! It's almost more than I can take! :-)


-- Bobbi (, February 27, 1999.

Hiya, Bobbi!!! My very, very good friend! I'm glad you bounced on over.

That is a really good graphic. You are so talented, what can I say? How're the kids; good I hope, and smart like you, I bet!

Oh, by the way, I don't think you have signed up for a position with the circus yet. And, uh, I was wondering, uh, by any chance like elephunts?

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

GB,yyur yyub icuryy4me.

In a coffee shop: Funex, Svfx, Funem, Svfm, Okmnx.

If I could do the grafix thing, I'd get one of them alligators like Gayla has over on Rob's humour thread :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 27, 1999.

Oh come on, Bobbi. Caint you see I'm in a bind here? I inherited this job (because of that white-shoed sissy, Chuck), and iI really could use your help (us bein' such good buds aand all.)

Anyway, if you reconsider, just drop your resume over at my office at CDDEBP (Circus Department of Disposal of Elephuntine By-Products).

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Oh, and Bobbi, We already got a tigger act. But If you got trained hefalumps and woozels, well, now, we may be in business!

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

I'm here, Lovelies! Just got back from a Dinosaur Show! Actually seeing these wonderful creative hijinks was JUST the tonic I needed today. Weird and things happening in my family, and I'm just worried sick over my sister today. Thanks for making me laugh.

Lon...CHANGE those PANTS immediately!!

Diane,...keep up the good verk mit the now semi-psychotic crystal ball....

BG, Dearheart! I only lapse into Latin HERE when needing to argue. At home, I'm singing Aristotle and quoting Aristophanes at the drop of a hat. Drives Mr. Keys (my main man) batty! (Keysious Battious). Not a pretty sight.

To all the rest I have failed to mention....I loves yous all! (((((((All my wacky cohorts)))))))

BTW Mr. Keys loves my jiggle! Now off on a hunt for a circus poster to swipe and edit for our Magificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus!

Film at 11....

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

Lon, I can't take credit for the graphics. I didn't design them, just "borrowed" them. Except for the port-o-yourdon, and the flea circus - they're mine all mine! Um, let me get this straight, oh good buddy, oh are askin' me to take over the job of "the one who cleans elephant by- products from the midway and other public areas"??

Well my friend, the only thing I know about elephants is; I always wanted to own one! So, not having much experience at the job, I doubt that I would be qualified. As you can see from my little buddies below, I am more suited for the job of Flea Trainer. These guys are raring to go!

For now Lon, it looks like you're mired in the elephant doings! :-^ Bobbi (Flea Trainer Extraordinaire)

-- Bobbi (, February 27, 1999.

Bobbi!!!!!!!!! Spectacular elphunt and flea circus! So much talent here, I'm humbled! Don't let Lon sweet-talk you. Yesterday he stepped into (pun intended) the whole elphunt mess all on his true codependent clown managerial fashion. (Who loves you, Lon???? :*) )

Besides her maavelous flea circus, I'm thinking we should put Bobbi in charge of PR....How'd you like the publicist job, Bobbi?

In the meantime I've found a super-duper trained fish act to add to our roster of fantabulous acts.

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

Vell since yu don thinkz tda graphicz set thiz theadz kaploop, everyee now andd thenz my crystall bawl reactivatez...

I start to hear zee Greybear mutterink ...

vee need a flea circus ... buttz ... avoid tha relly mean bad onez! Ya know, deee onez refered tooo inn "de vicked flee vhen no man pursues." ... Inna backgrund i hearz Flea circus iz goot ... ve'll need largee magnifyink glassss ferr tha audience though, don'tcha thinkkk?

Vell dey gotta look closee! Bobbie.

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.


Just you be careful now with them fleas. The ol' Greybear gets mighty nervous whenever anyone mentions such. Last season he wore out the main big top pole just scratchin' his rump. (OH, for a graphic of that!)

And as for the other duty we've been discussin'; well, I'm getting a US Gomment grant to provide critical training, utilizing the equipment and implements associated with the processing/recycling of elephuntine by-products. I had my cuz, Dezrelle DuBois, who works at the unemployment office here in G-O-T-B, to write the askin' papers for me.

I asked for a zillion samoleans. They said it should be here any day now. Real soon. Trust us.

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

"But Boss," said Bozo with a shiver, 'I'm no elphunt tamer! I'm just a plain clown.'

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.


It's about time you got back! I been cleanin' crystal balls, pressin' tutus, brushing the horses' teeth, and uh, you-know-what with them dam elephunts, all by my lonesome.

No need to put on airs and pretent to have been to a dinosaur show (although, I saw "When Women Had Tails" three times at the Bayou Bijou, oncet). I done tole 'em you was down at Iggies Jiggle Fest, fleecing the tourists.

And keep your dadburn, help-snatchin' hands off'n Bobbi. I'm gonna make a elephunt handler outten her, and anyway, I saw her first!

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Chuck-ee. Vell I cee yu too...

Chuck ... The Midway Barker

Yellink ...


Becuz, you Always wanted to try that.

Vell shez a full-sheeted voman vat lovz too chuckle, uh, jiggle tu!


*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Can we add horse droppings into the fertilizer venture? Good for gardens....

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

Diane....sheeted clownish woman rolling on the floor laughing her little pea brain out!

Lon...we need to talk! I'm sensing a division of authority problem... (wink, wink)

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.


Vu still bee-n helpd by ...

... cuz Iggie, down at the still....ah, bottling plant?

Meebee he git ready vith forked sticky ta pick up Jumbo-Dumbo-Pooper- Scooper fer ya?

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Did someone say Still? I need to refill my jug! YAAAAAAHOOOOO!

Rob, reporting for duty.

-- Rob Michaels (, February 27, 1999.

Good afternoon, Rob,...been out galavantin' have ya? Bout time you showed up! Wanna learn to juggle? We're light on jugglers. Oh, BTW, notice, no jiggling....

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

Vell Don-na darlink,

Vu thinkz dis heree threadz gonna hold out muchh longerrr?

I got mor visionz, but I thinkz dis puppy gonna go "kablink" soon.

Vat yu think?

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Ahem.....I happened to be in the woods and I spied this ole fella scratching his rump on a tree....Could it be? Do ya think? Anyone seen Greybear? Hey! Where'd my fleas go!!!!???!!!


-- Bobbi (, February 27, 1999.

Donna, I'd be flattered, honored and most happy to be the publicist for The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus!! Now I must work on a flyer so we can get some "media coverage". Well, back to the drawing board............. Bobbi

-- Bobbi (, February 27, 1999.

I think we'd better start "The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus" Goes on the Road thread...What about you Seeress? Shall I start it...It will be important to link to the original at the top, don'tcha think....You wanna start're better with the HTML than me. So hard to lay off the animated graphics...gawd, I love them.

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

Yeah, Rob, did you happen to notice that the big hand's on the five and the little hand's on the SIX. We aint celebrities yet you know. Oh, and I let you drive the clown car home last night. You were sorta "two sheet's in the wind", (and one of 'em looked a lot like Donna's, but I aint gonna start no rumors) You don't perchance remember just where it is now, do ya? (Dadburn circus help!)

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Donna darlink,

Vu start it an I'll link it.

Gott'a go take a breakz neow.

*DiAna Zee Not=Seerious* ... signink offe ...

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Yeah, I remember now - An oiliphant sat on it after the clowns all got out safely - good thing that car's made of rubber, and not just the tires, cause I and the oiliphant bounced right back. Last I saw Greybear was driving it somewhere I think.

Gang: I noticed something that could be important to all us posterers. If you have a jug (and drinks a bit) on one thread, your OK when on the other threads, and maybe a little bit tipsy, or topsy, or undersy, or oversea on the thread with the jug! Just an observation.

-- Rob Michaels (, February 27, 1999.

I emphatically state: "I did not share a sheet with that man, ...Mr. Michaels!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

Ladies and Gentlemen,...children of all head clown I have taken it upon myself to begin the second Circus thread...Please post all notices there so we can keep the load time here to a minimum. We can designate folks to post here every couple days to keep this thread active. Go MCYY2K Circus!!!!!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

What I wanna know is: Can I get the rights to the souveniers and momento sales. All we gotta do is come up with something like the Grateful Dead's "Dancing Bears" or "Steal Your Face" logo and we could all be rich!

Of course this being "rich" in Y2K terms, I don't know if we could all live long enough to ever use up all the toilet paper we'd collect in admissions, concessions and souvenier sales.


-- Wildweasel (, February 27, 1999.

NOW WAIT JESTR A DANGED MINUTE HERE!!!! I GO AND SOLVE THE ELEPHUNT TRAILS PROBLEM (I DISTINCTLY remember adverbertising for anyone to come help themselves) AND Y'ALL DON'T NOTICE?!?!?!!?

Maybe y'all need a refresher in why the asshole is boss?? The short version is that every other part of teh body sez it or they will be boss. Th e fundamental orifice sez NO I AM, and every other part laughs until the orifice goes on strike for a couple days. After about a week, the whole body agrees............

Your hefalump, elephunt, and clown driver who has a much better bark than his bite


-- Chuck, night driver (, February 27, 1999.

Couple more of dem dere elphunt's running around and there won't be a TP shortage.......

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, February 28, 1999.

Justa pointik da vay to vhere ve gonik ....

The Yourdon Y2K Circus Ticket Sales and Last Call Auditions! 000YCD

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 01, 1999.

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