Know Your Fruitcake IV (not for the serious) : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread



The US House of Representatives is set to debate sweeping privacy legislation that would sharply curtail what customer fruitcake information banks will share with law enforcement authorities and business partners. Federal laws requiring banks to report any "suspicious fruitcake transactions" to a massive IRS computer would become more precise, and the rules requiring that banks report fruitcake deposits or withdrawals of more than US$10,000 would in the future apply to amounts greater than $25,000. A separate proposal would increase federal regulation of the fruitcake industry by requiring that banks let customers choose whether their fruitcake data may be shared with affiliated brokerage and insurance firms.

Once again the efforts to protect our Fruitcake Freedoms are being led by Representative Ron Paul (R-Texas). "I know what would happen if Congress had to vote on this," said Paul, who led the fight against the "Know Your Fruitcake" bill. "This is one issue that has been thoroughly explained to the American people and every Congressman is aware of it. We'd win overwhelmingly." It would also make their victory against the "Know Your Fruitcake" plan permanent by barring the Feds from making banks "determine the sources of fruitcakes" deposited by customers or requiring similar forms of surveillance.

FRLians, just like during the Christmas Season, let us all send Representative Ron Paul a non-fiat fruitcake to show our support. Also, now is the time to write and call your local reprehensibles.

This is the hour. The battle is at hand. To arms, FRLians, to arms!

-- Rob Michaels (, July 01, 1999


You know what? I never did like fruitcake...

-- (, July 01, 1999.

Aw, Rob, do I hafta send a fruitcake? I just got them all dosed up and wrapped up to 'cure' and now you want me to see one to some politian?!

I don't think Mr. Paul will appreciate 'em as much as I do. Can I just send him a Polaroid of one? (I guess I could send one of the older, dried out ones but I have them stacked up and holding up my pantry shelves.)

FRL forever! Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 01, 1999.

But I thought Linda tried to fax something, and the paper went right through the fax and came out the other side. So if try to fax a Polaroid of a fruitcake cabinet to a Senator, does the positive, the negative, the mirror image or the camera come out the other side? can I get two fruitcakes for the price of one fax?

Or can you really see the mirror image of a politician? Are they like vampires, and invisible to Polaroids?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 01, 1999.

Wow - both the Polaroid and the Raid commercials made the Duh-2000 list this month!

Success! or Success?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 01, 1999.

Linda: This is war! We all must be ready to make sacrifices. What price, Freedom?

Robert: Good Sir, if you put a negative and a positive together do you get an explosion? And what is an oid? I have heard of Polar Bears but not Polar Oids?


For you, Gayla, this limerick. Thanks for the link.

Darkness recedes - a beautiful sight,

A crimson sky in the growing light,

Thin white mists over the lake hovers,

Like wisps of cotton - entwined lovers,

Awaiting the dawn - the end of night.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 01, 1999.

KYF I - 586 answers

KYF II - 200 answers

KYF III - 217 answers

total: 1003 FRLian answers - and S.O.B. made the 1000th post. Congratulations S.O.B., and also thanks to both you and Tricia for the counts.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 01, 1999.


Just the facts, I have no fax and if I did, wouldn't it get a little messy sending a fruitcake through it? And for your information, it's a well-known fact that if you take a picture of a politician, you end up with a picture of a person with a big, gaping hole where the heart should be.

Rob, okay, I'll capitulate (or is that catapult?) I think I can spare an old, dried out 'cake. To whom shall I send it? (Doesn't that sound cultured of me?!) Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 02, 1999.

Here are the addresses for the previous FC threads (sorry, no link - html challenged :-). The original:

The second:

And the third:


Yesterday was Canada day, when we celebrate our nationhood. To all fellow Canucks, a belated happy birthday. To all my American friends, a slightly early one. I'm going to be away for a couple of weeks starting Monday and I'm not sure how much net time I'll be able to squeeze in before then. If I miss something important, post it here. I'm sure to catch it then! ;-)

BTW, Linda, is that gaping hole the reason for spelling polititian "politian" in your first reply on this thread? Makes as much sense to me as any politian I know :-)

Have a great couple of weeks, y'all.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 02, 1999.

Are you guys trying to spell politician? (As in politiCs?) Or is this a Robert kind of a thing? :-) Tricia, have fun and welcome to the U.S. Hope you can check in periodically.

Rob, beautiful... simply beautiful! You have such a way with words, how could your wife ever banish you to the car? :-)

-- Gayla (, July 02, 1999.

Gayla, mia culpa!

Wow, Diane, keep up the good work :-) I was just reading the apology threads. I don't know how you keep up! Is this now a full time + job for you? Much applause for a job well done!!! Hope you don't mind this wasted band width. It's a necessary sanity saver for me.

Headed for bed now; hopefully I'll catch up with y'all before leaving Monday.


Moderating here

Without appreciation;

All in a day's work!


No wonder Diane spells days 'daze' ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 02, 1999.

Tricia: We will miss you! Try and pop in to say hi if you can.

Gayla: You have solved a mystery for me!!! Dear Mrs. Michaels sometimes says to me that I am "wayword". I have always wondered what this meant. Now I know that she means I have a way with words. Thank you so much for helping me reach this delusion.

Lunch break almost over. Will pop in late tonight (hopefully) to see what's up.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 02, 1999.

How many policitiocianan pundits does a wayward word weigh if a waytooworded word could weigh words?

"Gayla, mia culpa!" - uh, Miss T - you misspelleded "Ooops, my fault" there.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 02, 1999.

Dear FRLians,

I quite unexpectedly find myself on your doorstoop with hat in hand. Although I have frequently viewed your festivities though the windows that you leave wide open, I've never been able in good conscience to enter and ask acceptance because I would have been unable to attend without the gloom and pessimism that has been constantly attendant to my soul and I have never been able to believe that I could do so without casting a pall over the gathering of you whom I consider all of to be the most excellent of companions.

To my utter astonishment and complete surprise, as I was peering through your window today, Rob Michaels sprang a catch in my soul that I was not aware even existed when he asked about the Oids. In much the same mystical manner that a focus on limericks overcame me, as that catch came loose, much fell away and much more came flooding out.

The first thing that got loose was the incredulous cry, "The Oids???? The Polar Oids? Doesn't everyone remember that they are the tribe that was banished to the Arctic by the Hammer Oids when they captured the American White House in the Battle of the Tabl Oids?"

This was swiftly followed by the observation that, "Certainly cameras of all stripe capture vampires' images quite well (note Buffy's foes, for example) and it is clearly because vampires are antecedents to the Andr Oids and the Cellul Oids and thus contained the seeds of technological compatibility. The mirror stuff is baloney and was only made up by Hollywod to save on film."

With your help, FRLians, I would block that doorway open, in case the aforementioned catch is a spring loaded one. Perhaps Robert can devise me an "Aggie Key" made from duct tape, but in the meantime, I'd like to be sure that it doesn't surprise me again. I'm not sure I'd survive if I got caught on the other side and couldn't get back out!

While I feel somewhat like I imagine an aetheist must feel while undergoing a deathbed conversion, I am nonetheless sincere and humbly beseech you to take pity on this weary soul of mine.

fer paybacks iffen yul let me in, I vow sware i wont rite as stuffie as usal due.

For references, I will reveal that I have on occasion in the past been called a fruitcake and will honestly tell you that I have made fruitcakes and that I am very fond of fruitcake.

That stuff was tru butt just putt me down as a Fruitflake, OK?


pee ess.
Eye dint yuse a spel chekur sew plez xcoos mie mispeled wurds

-- Hardliner (, July 02, 1999.

Hardliner, ROTFL! It is a FACT OID that we'd love to have you as a fellow FRLian! :-)

-- Gayla (, July 02, 1999.

guESS WhaT JAckaLs???????

yOU wiLL NeeD TO HiDE BettER THaN THaT If you wiSH tO AVoiD THe dIEtER!!!!!!!!!

a LIttLE MUsiC AnyONe???????

-- Dieter (, July 02, 1999.

OK, DiETeR, just for that, I'm going to show these people what you REALLY look like while you're dancing to that song!

-- Gayla (, July 02, 1999.

Hardliner-What a wonderful acceptance speech before the fax! Now, you must repeat the FRL pledge after me:

As a FRLian

I pledge on my honor (or dishonor, as in the case of our steamed leader, Rob/Ron),

I will do my bestest

to do my duty (or ditty, if you can sing)

to my fellow FRLians (this means you must learn to achoo, er, haiku)

and to obey the FRL Law (see next entry);

to help other people at all times (share the beans and beano);

to keep myself physically strong (best accomplished by pressing fruitcakes, stealth duckies, or beavers-whichever is on hand),

mentally awake (if you can at least burp, that counts as awake),

and morally straight (this part is a little iffy).

Congratulations! You are now a bonny fried member of the FRL!

As for the FRL Law aforementioned: A fruitflake is:

TRUSTWORTHY-doesn't covet another's 'cake,

LOYAL-hangs with the other fruitloops against all odds (or evens),

COURTEOUS-that means bow when Rob enters the room (or is that curtsey? I never can remember),

OBEDIENT-sends $5 to the person who adminsters the FRL oath ;^D,

CHEERFUL-just don't over do it, okay?,

BRAVE-must be prepared to engage the enema, er, enemy at the slightest provocation, and above all,

CLEAN-we do sock checks often. (Be smart and invest in red socks, they're Rob's fav.)

There ya go! Just mail my 5 bucks to the address below (a nice, dark, brandy soaked 'cake is an acceptable substitute!) Linda

Tricia-We'll miss you. As for my "typo"...

A 'politian'

has no volition

to tell the truth;

this offers proof

that I have perfect diction!

(Come back soon)

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 02, 1999.


Are there Fact Oids here? If there are, we must be constantly on the alert as that tribe are all descended from Ted Turner and Jane Fonda!

They were all conceived in a fur-lined sled on a far away planet and are the result of genetic screening for the ability to propagate propaganda!

In the immortal words of Elmer Fudd, "We must awe-ul bee veh-wy ca'efull!"


Do you know The Marine Corps Hymn? Or better yet, after that article in the paper the other day, how about The Washington Post March?

-- Hardliner (, July 02, 1999.

I'm starting to hum that dam ditty all day long.

I hate that.

I just re-read that first line and it wants something after it:

I'm starting to hum that dam ditty all day long. Do-da Do-da.

I'll quit now and go back to lurking.

-- Greybear (, July 02, 1999.

Hope this'l get rida Greybear's i-ties. . .


I know this is OK, 'cuz doctors and nurses can give oaths, right? And you gotta be a doctor or a nurse 'cuz you gave medicine to those sick fruitcakes and wrapped them up good so they'd stay warm until they got well, right? (BTW, if you don't want to keep them around 'til they get better, just go ahead and send them to congress. Even if those guys eat sick fruitcakes, they won't get sick 'cuz I herd that conggressmen have the same resistance to botulism as a vulture. Would you believe 40,000 times as much as a real human?) Anyway, here goes:

As a FRLian

I pledge on my honor (or dishonor, as in the case of our steamed leader, Rob/Ron), Honor for me, thanks and is Rob steamed cuz he's mad or cuz he's red faced or cuz he's hot or is he just ready to eat?

I will do my bestestYou betcha!

to do my duty (or ditty, if you can sing) Duty fer me, thanks. Dittys are fer Sailors, er maybe that's dinghys, oh Hell, ask Robert!

to my fellow FRLians (this means you must learn to achoo, er, haiku) I kin alreddy hike pretty good! I was a grunt fer a long time!

and to obey the FRL Law (see next entry);

to help other people at all times (share the beans and beano); OK, but it's still, "He who smelt it, dealt it, right?

to keep myself physically strong (best accomplished by pressing fruitcakes, stealth duckies, or beavers-whichever is on hand), I'm a fanatic about beavers too! No problemo!

mentally awake (if you can at least burp, that counts as awake), Does it matter which end I burp out of?

and morally straight (this part is a little iffy). This on'll be EASY! I'm a very moral guy; I got some more in every port I ever pulled liberty in!

Congratulations! You are now a bonny fried member of the FRL!

As for the FRL Law aforementioned: A fruitflake is:

TRUSTWORTHY-doesn't covet another's 'cake, I already got more'n I can handle! Besides, I'm a scairt of Harderliner. . .

LOYAL-hangs with the other fruitloops against all odds (or evens), Gotcha covered. Semper Fi!

COURTEOUS-that means bow when Rob enters the room (or is that curtsey? I never can remember), Will a one fingered salute do? (NO, not that finger. . .)

OBEDIENT-sends $5 to the person who adminsters the FRL oath ;^D, Linda, I dun spent so much on Y2K preps, all I got left is $17.50 worth of old S&H Green Stamps that got all stuck together when my dog drooled on 'em. Will they do, or do I have to wait until I can raise the boodle?

CHEERFUL-just don't over do it, okay?, I don't think this on's gonna be a problem fer me. . . (the not overdoin it part)

BRAVE-must be prepared to engage the enema, er, enemy at the slightest provocation, and above all, NO ENEMAS!!! AND NO FOLEYS EITHER! OK?

CLEAN-we do sock checks often. (Be smart and invest in red socks, they're Rob's fav.) Miner clean alright, but I cut all the toes out so that the chiggers 'n ticks could get back out when they uz threw. . . Is that OK?

There ya go! Just mail my 5 bucks to the address below (a nice, dark, brandy soaked 'cake is an acceptable substitute!) Linda I put the stamps in my FAX, so if that's OK w/u, just send me yur FAX #

I do 'n Thanx,

-- Hardliner (, July 02, 1999.

I am humbles and speechlees in awe...really, this thing ain't got no sound card.

Now, was that the themed song - to the rythme (or rythyms, rythem, or whatever) of the old Camptown Racers or to the Marine Corps hymn?

Oh the DooDah Days....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 02, 1999.

Aaaahhhhh, such a welcome surprise, Hardliner! Your Asylum poems hooked us hook, line, sinker for Forum addiction. To see you again, so nice! Lends spice! The right kind ;^)

A 5.7 in Vancouver Island today, and just now, a 3.5 in SW Washington -- which we felt! Such a strange sensation, these rolllling waves, feel it in blood & tissue fluids, vision changes, watched the table rolllling ... Whew, Another One! It's on all our Breaking News channels.

xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 02, 1999.

Closest i got to feel one that large was in Vallejo, CA. Got hit with a %+ while in the shipyard there a few years ago.

But I was bouncing across railroad tracks on my little bitty cheap shipyard pickup truck - and didn't notice a thing! Got inside the submarine - and couldn't a feel thing. (There's no rolling "motion" if the "world" you see moves up and down the same time you are moving up and down, the water damped any "excitement".)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 02, 1999.

Our friend Hardliner came to play,

I gotta say, it made my day.

It's been a spell,

His jokes are swell!

Now if he could just fix Y2K! :-)

-- Gayla (, July 02, 1999.

Hardliner: As leader of this here FRL, it is my great privilege to offer you the Heartiest of Welcomes. Your expertise and previous experience in the military, and your uncommon ability to write astounding and creditable poetry (thought I forgot, didnt you?) will be very valuable to us all.

You will find that once the door is opened, friend, it cannot be closed  for the door and the catch both cease to exist. Here is where we come for that feeling of cyber companionship - our hair down, our hearts open. It is this place especially that we come to when the Goo is too thick, and our dials are spinning. So to you I say: Welcome Hardliner, Newest FRLian, Ye of Brave and Open Heart, Relinquisher of the Catch, and Finder of what Peace there is to find.

Fellow FRLians: What a week this has been. With the return of S.O.B., and now the membership by Hardliner. Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms. Long live the FRL.

The following is a personal message for Hardliner only:

Pssst. Hardliner. Shhhh. I wanted to ask you--- HEY! Youre not Hardliner. Stop reading this instant!

Thats better. Now, bout your first post on this thread - Uh, well, I was just wondering about them last few lines you wrote, and if, well, er, if you had a drink or two by the end of that post. If I am wrong about this then thats ok, my apologies to you, please dont be offended. I can understand what an emotional moment this has been. So far this is a dry thread anyway. But I ask cause sometimes another FRLian will sense that I need a little nip or two myself and be kind enough to provide it, yet I am always lonely, since no one is drinking with me, ya know? Sometimes I forget who I am, and other times I talk to myself (via my alter-ego named Mike). Sad, I know. And then I almost always just fall asleep. So I was wondering, well, if maybe you also like to have a drink once in a while, then perhaps we could have one together. Imagine what our conversation might be like! Two FRLian Drinking Buddies. Just a thought. In any event, WELCOME!

-- Rob Michaels (, July 02, 1999.

Boy - I'm glad I couldn't read that - cause if this is a dry thread I'll have to go fishing an' crawdading over in the dehydrated beer thread.

Course that's just my opinion. (To everybody else, now Rob you can't read this ) Thought his altered ego was know, like the airlines Remain OverNight bags they give you when they loose your baggage and you have to stay in the garage overnight.....

Okay Rob - you can read it again.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 02, 1999.

Ashton and Leska: Yikes! Just found out about the quakes. Keep well and let us know what is happening.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 02, 1999.

OK, Rob! (or Ron or Mike or whoever you are!) I got the hint (and a very strong hint, too!) Here ya go! But NO driving afterwards, OK? Leave the clown car alone! You can share a LITTLE with Robert. We don't want him hanging around that beer thread too much! None for Uncle though. He drinks 2 liters at a time! My heavens! :-)

-- Gayla (, July 02, 1999.

Yep, Rob, we're good to roll, earthquakes are what got us started in 1993 prepping. Y2K a spike in the chart. 8-9+ forecast on Cascadian Subduction Zone. Hopefully not in our lifetime! Cheers to the new FRLians! from Cascadia where it's rarely dry, raining now. Still have a real weird sensitized sensation in ole bod, there's a reality warp when the earth rolls. We'll post if another one rattles :^) Funny thing is, Ashton just did a major overhaul of the remaining glassies of our 300+ hanging pictures, taking glass and replacing with lamination or non-glare plastic. He only has @ 12 more to go ...

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxx

-- Leska (, July 02, 1999.

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooo. Real Beer. Compliant. Thank you Gayla. But does Robert drink? That looks soooooo good. Maybe I'll just have a little sip.

No, Rob, you can't. It's late and you have to work again tomorrow, remember?

Aw C'mon. It's Friday night, and I am worried about Ashton and Leska too. I could use a sip or two.

No, it's not a good idea. Besides, you have to wait for Hardliner to answer your question. It wouldn't be polite to drink alone now until you hear what he has to say.

Aw Shucks. You're no fun. But I guess you are right this time. Let's wait and see if Hardliner or Robert or another FRLian will want to be Drinking Buddies. I'll check the thread tomorrow and see, and then it will be PARTY TIME tomorrow night.

-- Rob/Mike (, July 02, 1999.

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Hardliner tripped over the leaded fruitcake doorstop and ended up hear-ye. Or head over heals? Amy who... wellcome.

Tricia, have a wunnerful vacation. Well miss you. This is one of the few threads where the insanely sane, coping with y2kayishness, can become rebalanced, or unbalanced. As needed.

I expresso the FRL pledge too... latte as usual!! But Hardliner dose it better. LOL

Leska n Ashton, jus roll with the punches. An doan let Rob get holt of em cause hell spike the punches n get snockered again. (Be well.. thinking lots of white light thoughts).

Slurp... Gayla! ('n Rob/Mike)


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 03, 1999.

Leska: Thanks for the update about the quakes and how you are doing.

Now I better get some slee - Hey - Mike is gone! Where is that beer now. OOOOooooo I see it. I think I will have a... WHOA!!!!!!!

Thought you could fool me huh? No way Rob. Now, for trying that little stunt your posting privileges are revoked until tomorrow night!

-- Mike Roberts (, July 03, 1999.

Him: Me? Drink? Never. Nothing stronger than 20-30 cups of coffee a day..

Her: Oh who was this?

< Shame, shame........but I'll think of you every time I pastyoureyes my beer by tilting up another empty. >>

Him: Ooops.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 03, 1999.

Boy, catch a few zzz and the kids come out to play. You guys must have been up all night!


Ya dun good. Now, in answer to your questions; the answers in order:

yes; okay; you betcha; definitely yes; the Vulcan one is best; send 'em on; too bad, I had my latex gloves ready; good idea, and 46-65-968'73-93473 (I'm okay, you're weird.)

Glad to hear we have a grunt aboard, now when Rob has to replant trees for his missus due to beaver attack, we'll know who to send to help out.

Welcome aboard, sailor! Linda

PS Do the chiggers/ticks come out 'cause they're getting gassed? Did you 'burp' down your pant leg?

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 03, 1999.

(Pssssst! Linda! Over here. Shhhh! Hardliner was a Marine, not a Sailor. Shhhh! Be careful... they're touchy about those kinds of things, ya know! Rivalry and all...) :-)

-- Gayla (, July 03, 1999.

Another... Pssssst!... Linda!

Robert was the in the floating force. Maybe good at swabbing decks awash in coffee? (Beer serves a higher purpose).


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 03, 1999.


Yer welcome warms me heart ol' bucko an' yer sly aside 'bout sharin' a drop er three has come ta the right place! Why, I might be back on the auld sod itself, as warm as it makes me feel! A dram o' Hot Irish on a cold night is never amiss an' tho I c'n pretty well drink most anythin', if I c'n provide, we'll be spendin' an evenin' er nine er ten wi' the Tennessee Gentleman hisself! Robert is welcom too as Sailors are known to be connie-sewars of fine likker too!

As fer the thread bein' dry, let's do it Texas style. The Lone Star state is wet er dry by votin' precinct, so let's make the thread wet er dry by post! Whaddayasay, matey? If wer gonna be toast anyway, I say we shud get ready! Lots of toasts!

To start, Here's to the fine grained men an' wimmin uf the FRL! May all of ya' be in Heaven a half an hour 'afore the Devil knows yer dead!


Ya need to try a latte wi' some Ameretto in it. . . Yul find a side to Juan Valdez that ya never draemed of. . .


Thanx fer the FAX #. I sent the stamps an' they dint come out the other side so I no ya got em by now. Its a good thing two since my FAX crapped out right after. Wouldya believe? It made a real bad smel just lik dog breath an squeeled a little and just qwit. Aniewa, thanx fer takin the stamps 'stead o' bucks. Hope ya cin git a reely swell prize with em.

Okie dokie on the tree plantin. Im a grunt sailor with wings so I cin dig holes reel good 'n then fly up 'n perch in the top 'n sea whuts comin. Allus glad ta help out.

Now 'bout the chiggers 'n such, I gotta 'splain. Im not wun ta bee a sik bae komando, but onct I got ta feelin bad so I mad sick call. Ya no what thu flit sirjun told me? He sed, Hardliner, ya got two much blud in yer alkahawl! Wel sur, I sez, Il take care a that rite away! I ben werkin at it ever sinc. Now 'bout the chiggers 'n ticks. Ther gassed alrite, but prolly not lik u ment. After drinkin this ol gyrene's blud, ther prety wel ossifiedd an id just as sune not have em staggerin round all over my fetes. Just think bout a vampire doin a wino. Same idee.

'n pants? Ya mene ta tel me ya gotta wear pants roun heer? Nobudy sed nuthin bout no pants!


Due I reely gotta wer pants?


Its ok that she cald me a saler cuz i almost joynd thu Navy. In facked, I wooda, cept the bosuns mate took me home with her 'n the bosun got reel mad so i went to the Marines 'n they asked my wy i wanted to go on a submarine when they cud make me a supermarine. Mad cents ta me an look wher it got me! Thu Navys OK with me Gayla. Yul nevr no how many time the shore patrol gave me aride home! Thers a lot of reely nice guys in the Navy 'an Roberts an Aggie too 'n hes invited ta bee a drinkin bud with mee n Rob, so itll be OK. Dont worry.

Thanx agin everbody. I fel lots better alreddy. An dont worry bout the drinkin stuff with Rob n Robert. I dont throw up when I drink n i promis ta bee gud.

-- Hardliner (, July 03, 1999.

hhhmmm, ppls been bringin up vampires a lot lately, any questions, we sorta versed, bein Anne Rice aficionados ;~[

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 03, 1999.

For Ashton & Leska (and anyone else who wishes to read it)

My first earthquake came when I lived in San Diego. I had just bought and moved into a house there that had been vacant and on the market for about nine months. Among other things that I had to do early on was deal with the garbage disposal since all the real estate people and prospects who smoked cigarettes had apparently decided that the disposal was the place for butts in a completely empty house.

I had taken the unit off the sink, taken it apart, cleaned out the butts, put it back together and bolted it back onto the sink. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the sink, and had reached in, taken a hold of the disposal and was in the process of giving it a good "shake" to be sure that I'd tightened the mounting bolts enough.

The timing couldn't have been better if it had been planned. At the same precise instant that I started to "shake" the disposal, Mother Nature started to shake the world. It was a lot like what you've described as far as the internal physical sensations and the hanging light fixture swinging madly about along with the sound of breaking glass made for quite a surprise.

Now here's the part that should establish my credentials as a "fruitflake" for all time. As all this took place, the very first thought that went through my mind was that I was shaking the entire house, that it was infested with termites, that it was coming down around my ears and that the real estate folks had really swindled me!

My delusion was very brief, and I quickly realized what was happening and headed for the outdoors, but that first instant is one of those intense memories that are so unique and powerful that they remain nearly as vivid as the original experience each time they are recalled for the rest of one's life.

I don't remember how strong the 'quake was, but I do remember that it cracked my patio and back retaining wall, broke about half of the windows in the back of the house and busted a lot of dishes and glassware.

In Espaqol, the word for earthquake is terremoto, which when pronounced sounds to me like "terror todo". Feels like it too.

You guys keep letting us know that you're still there and OK!

-- Hardliner (, July 03, 1999.

LOL Hardliner!

That's about the funniest quake snippet I've heard in a long time.



-- Diane J. Squire (, July 03, 1999.

Hardliner, thanks! Amazing how an intense first experience of the extraordinary stays with one all one's days. There's an unusual time bended surreal quality at the beginning of an earthquake -- one doubts one's senses, literally. Later, maybe a dope-slap at not trusting intuition ;^) Maybe subconsciously you still are in awe at the strength of your arm and suspecting of the disposal gnomes :-) We'll always think of you now when there's an earthquake and remember your first-person eyewitness account. We like to hear how other ppl experience wild 'n wooly bumps! of all kinds. O:+J

xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 03, 1999.

A toast to you Hardliner. My new FRLian drinking buddy. Down the hatch!

Mmmmmm. Beer is still cold. nother swig. Very tastpee. Thankpoo agin Galya. Hicup. Now bout dem pants. No one evr brought up dis befour, or befive, or besix, so I had to Pantificate on it. and I tink as loong as we all got sockz on den where ok. Anywayz dats my contusion.

nother bip, uh, I mean sipp. Mmmmmmmm. goes down soothly. Hicpuocup. Dis is fun havin a dinking bubby. I peel fritty gud now. Wherzxe Robert? Hes hour dinking bubby tooo hipcuppopup. Mear Drs. Mikaels hid da likker on me so I don git dunk. Dont no whyy. I don get dunk. I get hippy. Ha Ha hahahahahaha weeeeeeeeee. Hicupup. An sometimez iget a sittle leepy. Hay! You up four a mimerlick or hiapoo? Ha hahahah. Nvere trieed dis aftr dinking hikupupoppu.

Wee frlians hav no pants,

We don kare we takes hour chance,

And wiht duct sox on are feet,

Reel bight red, kool an neat,

Wee will dwink, sing, an dance.

Hahahhahah Hicpu. nother bip. Ooooooo. Sooo gud. Now, ware waz wee? Ohyeah, I forgrot. Hmmmm Hikpu. HAHAHA haha Weeeeeeeee. Tank poo hadrlinrer, mi nu diniking dubby. HAHhahah ahikupp. Wellits tim four mego now. Nomor postign tillmorrow. Byee . Longg Liv our Flutecrkae Fleedoms!!!!

-- Rob Michales (sonfodtus@net.xom), July 03, 1999.

Whoa! Hardliner, you better git them thar pants back on in a hurry! I can understand why you cut the toes from your socks (nothing like a tipsy tick) but did ya hafta get Rob started on the sauce? I've never seen him so "happy."

Got the Green Stamps but they had some gooey stuff on them-fax guts?

Sorry about the sailor crack-I'm an Army brat, myself, and only understand dog-face lingo. Dad retired from the Army Air Corps after 23 years and all of us kids learned to 'shape up or ship out.'

A&L-glad to hear you're ok. I don't watch much tv or listen to the radio so my first news of the 'quake was on this forum. My only 'natural disaster experience' is facing the May 3 tornado aftermath in OK. You will be glad to know that trees have leaves on them again (most of them anyway) and that a lot of the debris has been removed. The whole area looks less like a bombing site now. I'm glad, it was a heartache to look at.

Happy Fourth of July to you all. My own dad served for 23 years and has had Alzheimer's disease for the past 6 years. Every year our church has a service to honor those who have served us in the military and each year I fight back the tears to think of Dad, not knowing me, not being able to care for himself-him, the strongest man I've ever known. So here's to you, Dad, thanks for all you've done for our country. I love you. Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 04, 1999.

You guys are KILLING me! First, I'm ROTFL from Hardliner and Rob. (And I gotta tell ya, the older I get the harder it is to get back up off of the floor!) :-) Then I read Linda's post and she makes me cry. Whew!! What an emotional roller coaster. But hey, I like roller coasters! :-) Happy 4th to all the FRLians! (Even DiETeR who should be shot out of a cannon, and the Canadians who celebrated on the 1st!)

-- Gayla (, July 04, 1999.

Happy Independence Day to all.

Glad I help could brighten your day a bit Gayla :)

Long Live the FRL!!!!

Gotta run now since I spent so much time writing that long post on the new thread. Maybe I'll be able to get back online late tonight for a bit. BFN, Rob.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 04, 1999.

Gayla ... DiEtEr ... the cannon ... looks like FRLians may get a sight of their own special fireworks ;^) Happy 4th! Independence has weighted meaning for GIs, eh?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 04, 1999.

Welcome, Hardliner!

Youse guys is just too funny :-D

Happy July 4th!


This haiku thing is getting out of hand, I didn't even try that one, it just happened.

Linda, my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you can still remember your dad as he was (and will be, God willing).

Enjoy your fireworks, all. We had the natural ones on Thursday - lightening and thunder to raise the dead! It was nice for me, 'cause I was working and would have missed the man-made type.

A&L, I'm looking forward to seeing you in body, this week!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 04, 1999.


Thanx fer thu roolin on thu pants. I nevur saw wy thae wuz iny gud indoors innyway. Awl thae got ta rekamen em is pockuts 'n if yer in the Marines thae wont let ya keep yer hands in em 'n thae wont let ya carry nuttin in em n lottsa guys so thu pockuts shut innyway so what good r thae? Skivvie drawers er lots mor kumfertible two. Shucks, Harderliner evun put a litl velkro do dad on awl thu flyes so thae wont due lik the shutl bae dors on that big rokit ship on star trekk! thas funnie two cuz whin i drink whhiskie i here a litl voyce that sez, "Open the pod bay doors, Hardliner!" kood that mene im crazy rob? o yea rob! ya reely nede ta ete sumpin b4 ya start drinkin! it helps alot. beleve me i no. thas stil a swel lemuricke tho. this uns not as gud butt its awl i kud cum up with jest now.

whin I joyned thu FRL yesturdae,
Miz Linda wuz nice 'n let mie paye,
with grene stamps i had,
so i wont be bad,
and hope that u'll all let me stae.


bi now uve prolly seen robs roolin on the pants. plez dont b sew pickie! u tuk greene stamps, hhow bout a brake on the pants? i promis two allwayz ware kleen skivvies. prittie plez? bsides, i bet u seen guys in there skivvies b4? kom on! u hav aint ya? whaddayasay?

dont worry bout the saler crack. it awl salers falt innyways. there into everthin 'n even thu wae wee awl talk. fer instunss, yer daddy was Air Corps, rite? Why dint he tel u kids ta shape up er fly out? how kum everbodie has ta ship out huh? ill tel ya y! them salers got everbody talkiing there lingo thas y! its ok n not yer falt.

I've got to fall out of caricature here for a moment Linda and comment on your Dad. He's still the strongest man you've ever known and that strength is serving him well on his journey into what for most of us is truly, "The undiscovered country". The part of him that's left behind retains his dignity and is more than worthy of all our respect. I sincerely join with you in your toast to him and to all those who served with him.

o yea i almos fergot! thas knot faxguts. i tolu bout the dog drool rite? wel that wuz along tim ago n thu stamps were all stif n wount go in thu fax slot so i had ta get em wet agin. all i cud find wa sun jello frum last week. it wuz lime so thas y its grene n thhos litl yella stringie things r shreded pine apples n the lil skwishie bals r tapeokis. sory fer the mes butt its awl i had.


kum on Gayla wee aint killin u! yer knot fulin us ladie! we no yer tuf as nales! yer a teechur rite? if ya wuznt tuffern cheap toylet paper u'd nevur of mad it this far! y ill bet u evun got a speshul "teechurs lownje" with a torchur rack 'n wips n hot kols n lots a stuf fer the bad kids!

awl that rollin on the flor is gud fer ya! if som1 (like 1 a them bad kids) evur sets ya on fire thas thu bestust wa ta put yerself out!

maebee i kin help with yer gettin up prolem 2. ill ask rob n robert if its ok ta hav a girl be a drinkin buddy n iffn thae sae yes then u cn b 1 too. dontcha see Gayla? that way u wont need ta get up offn thu flor! pretty smart huh?

i dont unnerstan bout the roller coasters tho. rnt thae all motional? if there round thae roll n thas motional rite? n whut good er thae iffn thae aint round? c when ther round, the condensation from yer glass dont no where ta run off onta the table but iffn thae wuz skware awl the water ud drip off the corners an ruin yer tables! y wud anyon want skware coasters?

-- Hardliner (, July 04, 1999.

Oo-oo-oo! Party goin' on?!

Lemme read and catchup and I'll be right back...

-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.uni), July 04, 1999.

U call dat reding?

oops, "c'mon ete, wyfe sez." (Now thass wh i like to here) mebbe by back later.

(Y don't I think GN will link to this thread next weak?)

-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.uni), July 04, 1999.

Jor- el.... you been sampling the beer too? :-)

Hardliner! Not THOSE kinds of coasters. They don't go fast enough. Besides, you would have to have a teeny tiny bottom to sit on one of those! :-) Hey, where is everybody? The only people on the forum today are "Sista in the Hood" and "Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts." What a combo!! :-) Maybe we could match them up??? hee hee!

Haven't you guys slept it off by now?

-- Gayla (, July 05, 1999.

Hardliner-You didn't know that you could 'ship out' in an airplane? There was also 'straighten up and fly right', 'go out and play in the street', 'stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about', and the infamous 'straighten up or I'm going to tear your arm off and beat you with the bloody end of it.' (I was never quite sure the inflection of that last one.) I can tell you that I didn't dare talk back to Dad!

Fortunately for us, Dad got more mellow as the Alzheimer's progressed; telling us that he loved us (for the first time in my life-I was 34), and telling us how much he appreciated us. He became the loving father I always wanted. He hasn't known my name for over a year now but he occasionally smiles when I come to visit him. He's a tough guy and is hanging on. I'm trying to 'be tough' too; accepting all the different stages of loss.

As for the pants-clean skivvies are acceptable as long as they don't gape. Nothing worse than gaping skivvies. (There's a mental picture I'm trying to block!!)

Thanks for the 'out of character' remarks. Linda

PS I hate to see food go to waste-think I can rehydrate the green stamp goo?

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 05, 1999.


Been there, didn't like the scenery much.

Done that, got the t-shirt, it can't cover the scars 'cause they ain't formed yet.

Hardliner's right about his strength.

Besides, the "he" that you remember won't go away.

Which can be both good and tough sometimes.

ANYWAY: Happy Fireworks EVERYBODY!

Chuck *sniff*

-- Chuck, a night driver (, July 06, 1999.

A big out-of-the-fruitcake-closet welcome to our new soaked nuts! Really nice to see you on here, jor-el :-) So good to see SOB back to countin. Happy ta hear da jig jingle. Whatever did happen to zee Circus? The rumors that it hoists tent once more in October -- they be true? Fly the FRLian banner as we march into the brave new Millennium!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 06, 1999.

And in honor of this weekend's events - and because they were the first set of clean trousers I found in the closet this morning - I'm wearing my former navy-type dress blue trousers today.

Ordered them in April '78 - and they still fit. Shows you how much a navy engineering officer needs to wear a dress blue uniform. Now, all the old working kakii uni's are trashed out and too worn for anything but junk clothes - like my blue jeans from high school - but they still fit too.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 06, 1999.

Robert, Thou art disgusting!


-- Chuck, a night driver (, July 06, 1999.

Gawd Robert,

Is that what they mean by a tight fit? Or a tight a**? Sheesh! Well, I could still wear my 1960s go-go boots? That count?

...These boots are made for walkin... ta dum, dum.

Then theres Hardliner and his hot?--not gaping--skivvies. (The mind boggles). Hes tight too. Fits right in with the rest of the brandied fruitcakes here.


On a lower (or higher) note, Linda,

My Dad crossed over in 1988, and at the end barely looked like a WWII concentration camp survivor. Essentially emphezema (-1 sp?) though he never smoked. The memories of all he was, still are, just as fresh today. Its the spirit of him that remains bright. It was quite clear when he crossed that the spark of his being had departed the empty rental home. But his essence remains.

Thanks... for the memories ...Dad.

Heres tipping one (well, maybe two) to you--red wine--your favorite...

...and remembering that your Lockheed thumbprint once helped the Apollo astronauts make it to the moon.


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 06, 1999.

Well, it's not they (the pants) were worn out or anything.

Now, the leather belt my dad gave me when I was 12 is starting to wear out, so I don't wear it regularly anymore......

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 07, 1999.

Robert-Do we need to take up a collection for you to get some new clothing?! Good grief-you can still wear pants that you got twenty years ago!! Chuck's right, that is disgusting.

Diane-Lost my grandfather to emphysema (looked it up) a number of years ago. That's a hard way to die. I bet you still miss him.

I was going to say that we were getting too serious here but I've learned that suffering (and even death) are very much part of living. These things develop character in our lives. Some of us need more character than others. (And some of us start out as characters!)

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 07, 1999.

Fellow FRLians - Popped by to say hi. Looks like there is something new and yummy to drink! Too bad I have to work another four or five hours. Maybe will stop by late tonight.

Since the "answers count" starts to descend after 1 week, and this here silly thread is already that old, I will post the count here. If this post is just under Linda's "character" post (Hey, am I a character too?) then this is answer number 60.

BTW, I still ain't sure where these answers disappear to. Maybe they go to the same place that socks do when you put them in the dryer. You know that place, dontcha?

Gotta run (what else is new :) BFN, Rob

-- Rob Michaels (, July 07, 1999.

I don't understand what the problem is - have styles changed recently? I mean, it's not like the old ones are too badly worn to be unuseable or anything ... do other people (other than my kids of course) have to get new clothes all the time or something?

Except the old blue jeans - those did have some holes and tears - so I only wear the old ones while painting. The new jeans are okay, got them in '94.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 08, 1999.

You know very well why it's crimping FRLians, Robert you rascal! Stop rubbing it in. Rations of dry fruitcake with no pineapple or nuts for one week for you. No, wait a minute, that would just contribute to your no-bloat gloat. Loaves of cream-soaked pound fruitcakes chock-full of brazil nuts, vanilla chips, cashews, banana, and Hoggy Dazs pistachio ice cream heaped in your bowl, one loaf serving every hour, 10X per day. Heeheeheeheehee. Let him eat fruitcake!

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 08, 1999.

A & L:

I second that emotion! All I have to do is _look_ at something sweet and I gain weight! (I tell my friends that it would be better if I just tape those cookies on my butt with Scotch tape-they'd come off a whole lot easier!)

Robert-don't show up here again until you have split the seams of those pants, do you hear me!?

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 08, 1999.

Robert, Good Sir: '94 are the new ones? Are they still blue, or do they feel blue? Do you feel blue since they aren't that "new"? Or is new relative? If you suddenly got a new relative would you get them blue Jeans. Wouldn't that make them feel blue too?

Tricia we miss you! This is for you:

Stillness in the night,

the moon is shrouded in clouds,

darkness on the lake.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 08, 1999.

Got a new relative recently - sent him a little "Big Chicken" tee-shirt.

I'm know I'm ducking the question Miss Linda - but no splits yet! Couple of spares, a few strikes, one or two open's maybe - but let's not bring Hardliner's shorts back up.

(PS Have you tried duct tape on those cookies?) 8<)

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 09, 1999.

Well, I checked in, and I'm so envious of Robert that I almost went out in a snit without saying anything!! It took me a year to lose 30 pounds and a month to put back 15 of it *sigh*. My sister tells me not to worry about it, it's part of the Y2K stocking up procedure. However, since I threw out all my hugely fat clothes, my moderately overweight clothes are getting a bit tight. Those of you who show up at the Seattle meet the Yourdonites tomorrow will be able to bear witless to that ;-)

Thank-you for the poetry, Rob. Your haikus are always so beautiful. Unc must have taught you right.


Driving through mountains

Clean air with wonderful scents

Lovely sights to see.


After tonight, I'll be away for another week. Be well!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 09, 1999.

Time, it rolls along

No, you can't go home again

So long my good friends

-- ? (?@?.?), July 10, 1999.

Tricia: Your request for another leave, or shrub, or tree, has been approved. We await your return, Dear and Loyal FRLian.

???: Home is where the heart is. Sounds like yours is here with us. I'll leave a candle (compliant) in the window. Be well and keep your sense of humor always.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 10, 1999.

Tricia, so glad you checked in with us. Not to worry, you're still 15 pounds lighter and as for the supposed tightness of your clothing-it's no concern to us who care for you!

Robert-DUCT TAPE!! Boy, you are one sick puppy! ;^D

FRLians in general (or private)- Have you seen the Duct tape thread on the new TP2000 Prep Forum? Our own Sir Rob is advocating a new society for the advancement of duct tape. It's worth a look-see. (BTW, the new forum is balm to my spirit after having endured the incoming muck of the past few weeks on this forum. Try it, I think you will agree.)

Your fellow fruitcake forever-Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 10, 1999.

Wow, I had time to check in again today! I thought we'd be too busy. My daughter and I had a wonderful time this afternoon with why2cay Don and his wife. If anyone else showed up, they didn't have the nerve to associate with 'those wierdos wearing tinfoil hats' ;-) It's great to get some encouragement from people who look intelligent and sane, excepting the hats, of course (as opposed to those who frequent here, who's looks I can only imagine). The visit with my aunt is going swimmingly, I just regret that it may not happen again for a lonnnggg time.

I took your advise and checked the tape thread on the new forum, Linda. What a great laugh. However, I've only watched in admiration as duct tape was used, never done so myself. I don't know if they'll let me join DUH. Do you think being a MacGyver fan will count for anything (he's even better than Red/Green, IMO). I do want to make a new fruitcake slingshot using the filament duct tape that GB mentions - maybe if I do that, I'll qualify for DUH entrance.

Bless you all, and I'll do my best to look in before leaving Renton, Monday morning.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 10, 1999.


Have a great trip.

Gonna take some time out myself... soon.


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 11, 1999.

Now that Rob has a new "love" on the other forum (the DUH,) I feel like I can confess about my new "love." On the way home from my family reunion in Oklahoma, I stopped in Corsicana. BUT did I stop at the Collin Street Bakery (home of the World Famous Fruitcake?) NO! Corsicana now has a Russell Stover Candy factory outlet! :-) I have to come "clean" and confess to you that I like chocolate MORE than fruitcake!

I really think it was a conspiracy to put it in the same town, and it's WORKING!!! There were millions of boxes of Russell Stover Candy and even Whitman's Samplers, and they were half off!! There were tons of free samples of everything! It was more than I could take! After leaving the Candy factory, the very idea of even visiting the Fruitcake bakery was enough to make me gag!

So, with great shame (and a chocolate hangover) I will accept your punishment if you so deem, and resign as a FRLian.

-- Gayla (, July 12, 1999.

Gayla: You are an FRLian, and once an FRLian always an FRLian. Besides, what would we do without you, Oh Great Chief Investigatress, and Flinger of the Flaming Cake? If I can't get out of being the leader of this here thing, and I can't (so far - hee hee), then you aren't allowed to leave either.

Nothing to me is more serious than chocolate. It is way too serious to joke around about. So I can empathize. This doesn't mean that we do not appreciate other important things, like duct tape. It also doesn't mean that we can slack off our guard when it comes to protecting our hard-won fruitcake freedoms.

Your resignation is not approved. You are here with us to stay, dear friend, and we wouldn't have it any other way!

-- Rob Michaels (, July 12, 1999.

Thanks, Rob! sniff...sob...sniff... I'm touched! :-) I gotta make sure I have a chocolate stash for next year. Does anyone know the shelf life of chocolate? :-)

-- Gayla (, July 13, 1999.

Some of the bars in the WWII K-rat's are still just as edible now as they were then.

Does this help? Or does it confuse the issue by assuming they were edible then?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 13, 1999.

Robert, eeeeeeeewwww! Is that how you stay so skinny? :-)

Hey, where's Hardliner? And what has happened to Arlin? I figured out who ??? was on the above haiku. Hopefully he won't be able to break his addiction. :-) I really miss Donna Barthuley, too. Sent her a private e-mail but haven't heard back. I did spot Lon Frank on the other forum. No clown shoes, but I did detect the aroma of gumbo. :-)

-- Gayla (, July 13, 1999.


Not to worry, you are absolved from your chocolate orgy. Personally, I think that the only thing better than fruitcake is chocolate-in any form.

As for your shelf life question, chocolate will turn 'gray' with time but the taste will not be affected. (I have been buying up chocolate stuff after every holiday when it goes on sale, wrapping it in freezer wrap-to fool the kids-and putting it in the freezer for later.)

What a picture here:

Gayla in choc'late heaven

(still dreams of fruitcake)

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 13, 1999.

Diane: Oh Great Shatterer of Records, Seeress of the Future, Provider of Bubbly, and Dear and Loyal FRLian; a haiku for you, to mark this auspicious, or delicious, or suspicious occasion!

Over 4K posts,

Congratulations Diane,

Bless You and Thank You.

FRLians: I am working on a small project for the newbies and have been spending my free time on it. Should be done by Thursday night. Be back then I hope, Rob.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 14, 1999.

Hey - way cool! Got published again. My letter to WorldNetDaily got printed over there:

Neat. Now I've got two Reader Digest's thingy's, three or four of WND's letters-to-the-editors, and few technical articles. (Mostly nuclear stuff, navy design stuff. Sound of self-congratulating self by patting self on the back. Hurts the arm, shoulder, and back if done too often or with too much enthusiasm!)

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 15, 1999.

Attention FRLians!

The FRL will now come to order for this award ceremony.

Sir Cook, please kneel. Thank you. Now---

Robert, Good Sir, Wearer of tutus and old Jeans, Linguistic Master, Explainer of that which Defies Explanation, Returner of my really bright red Socks, and Loyal FRLian:

It is with great pleasure that I, the extinguished leader of this here FRL, present you with the Order of the Fruit medal. Your recent accomplishments and activities are an example to all FRLians of FRLianness at its best. (The medal is duct-taped onto your shirt now) You are hereby commented.

You may stand now, Oh Bearer of the Order of the Fruit!

---- Cyber applause ----

The FRL may now return to out of order, or normal, or regular, or whatever it was before this post.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 15, 1999.

Robert A Cook, PE

>Neat. Now I've got two Reader Digest's thingy's, three or four of WND's letters-to-the-editors, and few technical articles. (Mostly nuclear stuff, navy design stuff.<

Sir Robert,

I knew that anyone who could enlighten me, a dumb old Instrument Tech, with the wonders of "Nukie 201", as you did a few months back, had to be a rather special person, but the Readers Digest?


Not too bad for an Aggie. (g)

I can't believe that I know an "Aggie Nukey Navy Dude". Those are very rare, if not an endangered species.

But, just so that you know the whole truth: You aren't the only one who still wears the same size duds as when we both were younger.

At 5' 7" tall, 60 years old, weighing in at 123 pounds, soaking wet and half dressed, I still wear size 30 blue jeans, just as I did when I was 16 years old. Plus, plus mind you, I still have the same da*n belt that I had when I retired from the Air Force in 1976.

So There! (BG)

( I do prefer to be known as that Lean, Mean Loving Machine, rather than as that Bony Little Bast*rd).

Congratulations Sir Robert, Oh beKnighted One, Pocesser of the Pearls of Wisdom, Keeper of the Light of Truth, and Knower of that which Is and Should be Known.

You dood really really swell.

Actually, just to have published the tech articles, and I DO take note of the plural, has said all that needs to be said Sir.

It is an honor to be on the same forum with you.


-- sweetolebob (, July 16, 1999.

Sir Robert, O Fruity One: Congratulations on your most recent achievements! (and on being 'pinned'--does Mrs. Cook know that you're engaged now?) Any chance that you can let us know what you published with Reader's Digest? I do have a few minutes a day when I am not engaged in mundanity, er, mundaneity, er, boring stuff, and would like to read your stuff.

SOB: Don't you find it inconvenient to be pruney all day from staying soaking well (and half-dressed, to boot!) I'm afraid to ask which half is not dressed.

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 16, 1999.

First RD piece was in "Life in the United States", and paraphrasing slightly since I don't recall all the details and street names, and they were edited in the original a little bit anyway, went like this. (Appeared in early-mid 1980.)

< Get on I-10 East in San Antonio, turn left at I-95 in Jacksonville, FL. Turn left again at Route 12 in Groton, Ct, and go three lights. Take a right on Lewis ST, then another right onto Clark Trail. We're the third house from the end.>>

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 16, 1999.

Ms. Linda Newbiebutnodummy,

>SOB: Don't you find it inconvenient to be pruney all day from staying soaking well (and half-dressed, to boot!) I'm afraid to ask which half is not dressed.<

Not at all inconvenient, Dear lady. I simply alternate which half of me is dressed, and I use "Wrinkle Poof" on the parts that show.

BTW: I note your somewhat unusual last name. Would your family be of Welsh or perhaps of Celt origin?



-- sweetolebob (, July 16, 1999.

Robert, learn to clean up after yourself! :-) Why doesn't it surprise me that your first RD article was humor??? LOL! Congrats on getting your e-mail published!

And to the "Lean, Mean Loving Machine" (something about that reminds me of Burt Reynolds in 'The Longest Yard') :-) you need to eat more rice with your gumbo! Put some MEAT on those bones before Y2K arrives. BTW, would you like to "waltz across Texas" with me? I don't think my husband would mind. :-)

-- Gayla (, July 16, 1999.

Uh Gayla - are you sure he'd be able to waltz leaning so far backwards? He's short recall - and so has relative short arms....and well, you have certain other attributes that are most favorably distributed .....might tend to tip him over there.

Polka, schotisse, two-step/four-step, waltz, country, round or square, ballroom, latin or jazz - long as I don't have to sing it....

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 16, 1999.


Looks like I either keep shattering records... or getting shattered.


Oh, well... Only the shadow knows and the Mods still wonder. But the DCdude/ finally stopped and thats what counts!

That reminds me Gayla... time for a cuppa cocoa. (Fooled ya, huh?)

And I also second? half? remand? remind? the Sir Robs vote for Sir Robert... receiving (not dropping) the highest FRL honor...

The Order Of The Fruit.


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 16, 1999.


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 16, 1999.

Ahh, I'm home at last,

Summer(?!) vacation's over

Back to preparing...


So nice to be home :-)

Robert, congrats on the latest published work! And what was your second RD article? I doubt I'll be able to find it here in Canuckia, but you never know.

Thanks for the well wishing, Diane. It must have worked, I'm home safe. Hope your rest goes well, too.

Gayla, are you a CA (chocoholics anonymous)? I refuse to be cured, I can quit anytime - just like the forum ;-) Linda, I understand how you save your chocolate from your kids, but how do you save it from yourself? If Rob can have a duct tape thread, can we have a chocolate one? Mmm, a chocolate thread. Never mind, it wouldn't last and I don't want to addict my computer.

BTW, the summer part of the year is in question this year. They had snow (!?!) on Wednesday, south of here. The season will have to be longer than usual, or we'll have no crop, it's been too cold. I certainly hope it's warmer next year. The old joke about not blinking lest you miss summer is less funny this year somehow; maybe I'm missing it.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 16, 1999.

Wait a minute up there!

Was that SNOW you saw so fair?

The last of last winter still creeping?

Or the first of next winter ahead leaping?

But it's clear down here - with just a little hot air.....

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 16, 1999.

HahaHAhahahahahaha WWWWWEeeeeeeeeeeee! Hicuppp.

It;s Flyday an I donnhav2 work motorrow HAHAHAHAHAHA. Hikpu. Noww der iz sumthin I hav 2 sayy to you doobiebutnomummy, An dat iz were not enraged!!!! No. no. no. nonono. Iam hippily mired to Mear Dises. Mihckales. HAHAHAHA WEEEEeeeeeee hipunkupup. Dis iz worry implortrant to unnerstan. Ok? I donwanta goto dat car 2 posst agin. Anydoby seem my crown clar?

Hay S.B.O. wahdya mean prinkle woof? Do u iron youreslfe? Dat woodbee a neat tick. HAHAHAHA. Hipucup Now  some series businezz Oh grate and offalcial counnter of the Keep, leanleanlovemeanchine?, pleze perfume youer solumn duby as spoon az potable (loook at myposst forJuly7 toget a startt.)

OOOOoooo. Diane Dat flruit haz teeethh! Scaree. Zzzzzzzzz, I peel hungly noww. Zzzzzz, an bittle lit slepee zzzzzzz. Goud zzzzz nihgt zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hicuppp zzzzzzzzz.

-- zzzzzzzzz (WeeeeeeHAHAHa@ZZZZZ.zzzzzzzz), July 16, 1999.

Rob, you really ARE good at that! :-D Cracks me up EVERY time! Better not let Mrs. Michaels see that you said you were "hippily MIRED" to her, though! You might get banished to the car anyway! :-)

Tricia, welcome back! Snow? WOW! We say the same thing here in Texas, but it's don't blink or you'll miss winter! This year I'm a little thankful for that. Know what I mean?

Robert, I'm going to come over there to Georgia and wash your mouth out with soap!!! I've never seen any one dancing with Dolly Parton that had to lean backwards! Hmmmmph!

Diane... I for one am really glad that you let us know about Kelly and "her" cohorts. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that kind of stuff going on, but I know it must.

Cocoa? :-)

-- Gayla (, July 16, 1999.

Gayla: Things must indeed be shattered for her to say cocoa!

Oh latte-less one: For you, the following picture-poem (for lack of any other name).

Beneath a panoply of stars, the lake lies shimmering.


Sounds of frogs and crickets keeping rhythm, as a gentle breeze ripples the water.

The osprey await a crimson dawn, and trout rest from the currents in the deep, cool, dark.

The stand of Oaks and Pine across the lake are obscured now, Yet the sound of leaves rustling beckons through the darkness, and on the breeze comes the smell of fresh rain.

Refreshing, renewing, a portent of the future.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 17, 1999.

Thanks Gayla... Amateur trolls are one thing, trying to disrupt the forum but what appear to be professionals, or not?, are quite another, IMHO.
Yes... sometimes I even have a mocha latte, cause I LOVE chocolate too!

;-D Especially ones that have a vested interest in the critical infrastructure, and SHOULD behave honorably. Trolling is NOT good karma!
Rob, that was beautiful!

This is one from a favorite book Love And The Turning Year: One Hundred Poems From The Chinese translated by Kenneth Rexroth.


Fifth month, golden plums are ripe;
The horizon is hazy; the evening dewfall heavy;
The grass along the lane is bright green.
The sun sets in burning clouds.
The old gardener is glad the rains are over.
He puts the damp mats out to dry
And sets to work repairing the collapsed mud walls.
Twilight, the sky is crystal clear.
The children dance with joy.
They shout and splash in the puddles.
All the world has been made new.
I walk in the garden without a coat.
The hedges are still wet and glittering.
The pond shimmers with a thousand rippling images.
They no sooner appear than
They are erased and appear again.
The beautiful trees are like my heart,
Swelling with boundless happiness.


Love the simple imagery.


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 17, 1999.

This is an open appeal for help across the fruited plain from one who is html'ed challenged and forewalled isolated - and believe me - I need the help caused I've stumped the expertest experts. I've got a bitmap file (could be a gif or jpg if you want) that needs be translated onto an accessible web page for further translation back to here.

Is that clear as mud, or should I centrifuge it? (Ref; Fruitcake III)

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 18, 1999.

Hi persons of the world.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 18, 1999.

Hi persons of the world.

lets try this again Hey guys. Sorry about that I just pushed enter at the wrong time. Just came back from Gs camp. It was pretty fun. We had counselors from Mississippi, New Zealand (are you all peppy and waaaaaaay to happy in the morning) England and Scotland, just to mention a few. I have to say a few things though. First, our unit councelor was named Zippy. At 7:00 AM she came dancing into our tent sing Zippity do da. I wanted to throw my trunk at her. Second, What is a Tog?. Where did it come from? How do you get tog from swimsuit? Zippy kept calling our swimsuits that and we had noooooo idea what she was talking about. Another one of our councelors looked excatly like Kerry Rogers. She was cool and got to dress up as a ditsy cheerleader. In all the magor all camp functions my unit won. I credit that to the fact that we are the oldest and most creative from experience. We discussed Star Wars and stared at Ewan McGreggor's eyes. We decided that his eyes were second only the Lance's from Backstreet Boys or N'sync. I forget which. We also decided that Lucas has got the best taste in men and women. However what he does with womens hairstyles doesn't come close to mens. We were tore apart however when we came to Mark Hamill. Half of us myself included agreed that we didn't like him. In the first two movies, he a whiny brat. BUT UNCLE OWEN I WAS GOING TO TOSHE STATION TO PICK UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS. And in the third one, well he was just downright ugly. The other half totally disagreed with us. We came back together when it came to Harrison Ford. GIGGLE GIGGLE SNICKER SNICKER. We also discussed all of the ties such as Queen Amidala was Luke and Leia's mom. And that Darth Sidious was Senator Palpatine. And we tried to figure out why he said Bail Antilles from Alderaan when everyone knows it's Bail Organa. Antilles was wedges name and he wasn't from Alderaan he was from, well I don't knoiw where he was from but it wasn't Alderaan. I know what you are thinking. Blah blah blah all these teenagers talk forever. Well I got to go. See ya.

-- Jean M. Cook, PP (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 18, 1999.

Hi, Robert. Sorry no one else seems to be around. I'm computer illiterate; my only training was a course in Basic in 1981 and one year of Fortran in University, neither of which I've ever used. html is Greek to me ('cept I think I know more Greek!)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 18, 1999.

Miss Jean, don't forget the reference in the first set of movies to "The Clone Wars." You may have some surprises ahead in Part II! :-) PS- Did you know Star Wars was Harrison Ford's acting debut? Have you heard about how he got the part?

-- Gayla (, July 18, 1999.


This thing about Star Wars sounds interesting. I am a very big fan of Star Wars. I await with baited breath the next installment.

-- Carla the Canuck (got@no.address), July 19, 1999.

Gayla, when is the next installment due out? I'd sure like to see it. That just seems unlikely if we get more than a 5 or 6.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 20, 1999.

Ms. Tricia T.Canuck Ms. Carla T. Canuck Ms. Jean Ga Cook Rob Michaels Fearless Leader of The Clan Of The Fruitflake

Sir Rob; I didn't see your request, and I stay rather busy so I don't peek in often. So sorry Old Bean.

As per your request, Oh Grand Exalted Fearless Leader:

Ms. Carla T. Canuck wins the prize of the secret address of the "Star Warts" site for her answer # 100. She has agreed to share this award with her friend and fellow net companion, Ms. Jean Ga Cook, a fellow fan of the Star Warts series. Ms. Tricia T. Canuck has graciously agreed to escort Ms Carla to the site for the formal awarding of her prize. Tune your net browser to the following frequency:

And there you will find several pictures/ an online comic series / some behind the scenes stuff of the whole thing. Locations, facts, snapshots etc.

It may help tide you over until the next release, "Episode II", comes out.

Take care and have fun.

Warning!! Senior Parental Guidance Unit MUST be present before activating this secret site, and during the entire first visit to it. This is to prevent any "sick bird" purchases for which you may have to answer the aforementioned senior parental unit.

This is #102


-- sweetolebob (, July 20, 1999.

S.O.B., you crack me up! Star Warts... LOL! But, you didn't answer my question! :-)

And Uncle, you come out from behind that "curtain!" I know you're lurking!! :-)

-- Gayla (, July 20, 1999.

Welcome back Tricia! Looking forward to some good FRLian poetry now that you have returned, Dear and Loyal FRLian.

S.O.B. Oh Keeper of the Official Count, thank you for performng your important duty - I guess my request was a bit incomprehensble (not unlike any of my other regular posts).

Gayla: Perhaps a nice Haiku (or several cases of beer) will bring Uncle back to where he belongs. We miss him. And where is DiETeR? :) Does dry beer come in cases too????

-- Rob Michaels (, July 20, 1999.

Oh great, now our household has to figure out which is the Senior Parental Guidance Unit (SPGU), and which is the Assistant Senior Parental Guidance Unit (ASPGU), not to be confused with the Senior Parental Assistant Guidance Household Educational and Talented Training Instructional Observer (SPAGHETTIO)

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 21, 1999.

Missing but not gone

taking a mental health break

may take lots of time?

Hey gang-Have to 'fess, I've been avoiding the forum lately (it's not youse guys). I've noticed a propensity to stomach/soul ache directly proportionate to time spent reading through this forum. Not so much the prep forum but still enough to make me want to stay offline.

Today I read (quickly) through the headings and selected a few posts-mostly humorous ones but still have the stomachache. Does this mean that I'm allergic to y2k? I think it means that I've had enough for awhile.

So, Sirs Rob and Robert, may I have permission to stand down for a little while? To take care of the mundaneities of my household and not think "can I use this for y2k", to go to the store without buying 36 rolls of toilet paper, to simply enjoy the here and now without worrying about the possible, or impossible future?

My sanity insists (what little there is of it, anyway.)

Not to leave out the rest of the loyal Frl subjects, I would respectfully request a leave of absence-of course, I would still be here in spirit, but my bod must be kept from sitting at this keyboard. What say ye, oh, fellow fluteflakes?

I will await your answers. I will check back in tomorrow morning but then will not check this thread until next Monday.

yours in babbledom-Linda

PS. Misses Carla and Jean: I'm glad to see you taking part in this wonderful silliness. Life is hard enough as it is, even without y2k, and a good dose of silliness is a lifesaver.

-- newbiebutnodummy (, July 21, 1999.

Linda, if you need a break, take one! Almost every long term poster has taken a hiatus and felt the better for it. Y2K doesn't change (nor go away, unfortunately). It's kinda like y2kpro and ilk (or should that be ick). Any way, take the time you need - but don't be a stranger :-) Hope your preps are going well.


Bright sunny morning

Birds sing, frogs croak and life's good

I'm going walking!


Summer is here, the weather man says for a week. Gotta enjoy it while I can, so I won't be here much either. See y'all later!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 21, 1999.

Big thank you's to the Gayla group and Jon Miles for the assistance here. By popular, unpopular, or unusual demand, the second RD story follows. Reader's Digest, August, 1986 issue, at the bottom of page 124. Here is text that goes with it:


"What a Mesh!"

The October 1981 issue of a Department of Defense magazine covered cost-reducing procedures that the Administration had just initiated. Some articles began with this triple gear pattern, meant to show how the military, Congress, and business should be cooperating with each other.

The only trouble is that three gears meshed like this can't move in any direction.

____ Guess even then I was looking in between things that the government was doing that can lead to unintended trouble!

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 21, 1999.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 21, 1999.

Robert, are you trying to tell us in a roundabout way that you're a trouble maker?? ;-) I don't think I would have even noticed that the gears were "locked up." Must be your "analytical" mind!

Linda, enjoy some time off! We all need it every once in a while.

Tricia, summer for a WEEK? LOL! That is SO hard for me to believe!

Rob, I heard through the grapevine that DiETeR's mom was visiting him. She has now returned to her own planet. Perhaps now he will have time to come "play."

-- Gayla (, July 21, 1999.

Linda: Your request for a leave, or a branch, or a tree is approved. Rest and Renew yourself, Loyal and Considerate FRLian.

I too will not be here much. After thinking recently that there was some light at the end of the tunnel with my job responsibilities, it turns out that I have been given additional tasks that will keep me crazy-busy through most of August. Oh well. I will check in on this thread whenever I am around, but most likely will not be posting much or reading many threads. If Im not here for a while, would someone be kind enough to send the newbie thread to the top? Thanks, Rob.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 21, 1999.

But.... if everyone leaves, or trees, or branches.... sniff... sob... sniff. boo hoo hoo hoo. Who will I "play" with? :''( Don't leave me here alone with (GASP) DiETeR!!

I just hung up the phone from talking with our beloved Circus Ringmaster. (Donna Barthuley for those who may have stumbled in here accidentally.) She is well and sends warm greetings to all. Her computer "died" and they tried fixing it several times. No luck. I told her to visit her local library sometime soon and check in. :-) Some exciting news: her daughter is engaged! And he must be pretty romantic, because he proposed at the Grand Canyon! Maybe she'll share the funny story about "the rock." :-)

-- Gayla (, July 21, 1999.

Gayla, we may go, but we'll check in from time to time, mate :-)

Is it too hot to play outside around Houston? The weather's been perfect here. However, I worked last night, so I'm on my way to bed.


Robins a-twitter

Sun peeks gently through the clouds

Cool summer morning.


I'll peek in here later - my bed is calling!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 23, 1999.

Cool summer morning? What is that? I think I need to move to Canada and find out! :-) Yes, it is MUCH TOO HOT to play outside in Houston. Yesterday was 98 degrees (F) let's see... that would be about 36+ (C). Everyday I thank God for air-conditioning! :-) I sure hope any power problems next year are fixed before summer!!!

-- Gayla (, July 23, 1999.

'twill be on vacation until next Saturaday - don't get lost!

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, July 23, 1999.

Bye, Robert! Have fun! Are ya gonna stop and smell any dead skunks in the middle of the road? :-) No hints as to where you are going? Is it a secret?

-- Gayla (, July 23, 1999.

36C in the morning?!? UGH! Maybe the weather here ain't so bad after all. We don't see +36 more than once a decade, I'd guess; and -36C about every few years. Of course the nicest weather I remember was while at boarding school just outside Nairobi - not weather, climate. Fantastic rainstorms once a day in the rainy seasons kept the countryside green year round, and Nairobi is high enough in altitude that although it's almost equatorial, it is rarely very hot. I still hope to return some day, if only for a visit. Jambo to any one else feeling nostalgic for the region.

Robert, hope you're going somewhere just as beautiful for your holiday and enjoy it immensely. For the sake of your daughter, I hope there are no skunks!

Rob, sorry to hear that your job is so demanding these days. Got perks? ;-)

A and L are quiet these days - anyone heard from them? Maybe they're taking some time off with Diane, she's been relatively silent, too. I know - they've all gone to visit Linda Newbiebutnodummy to make nefarious plans re: causing the downfall of the NWO.

Perhaps I'd better call it a day, I think these night shifts are getting to me. For all those who spend their weekends working on preps - Happy (Bargain)Hunting!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 24, 1999.


Take a l-o-n-g break and enjoy the summer. Tis the season. In the world of the wise, events and needs ebb and flow... like the tides. Its natural. Go with the flow.

Tricia n Gayla a all,

Im around but taking frequent time-outs. Feels great. This a.m. its overcasty in Silicon Valley. Time for a l-o-n-g latte break soon too...

Scented steam rising,

Taste buds tweaked,

Java smoothly sipped.

(Relax)... ;-D


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 24, 1999.

Warm sun shines brightly

Plants basking, wonderously

Tranform light to food.


Stretched to enjoy warmth

Bee buzzes by, then settles;

revels in nectar.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 27, 1999.

The poor fruitcake thread!

About to fall off the page!

Where did you all go?

-- Gayla (, July 30, 1999.

Gayla, I've been lurking a bit and sleeping a lot. In fact that's just where I'm headed now.

BTW, that bit about blinking and missing summer is particularly true this year. I noticed some yellow leaves on trees a couple of days ago, and on my way home through the river valley this morning, there were several trees and bushes starting to turn colour. This usually happens in August, but this year it looks like July is our start of fall *sigh*. I hope that it doesn't mean that we're in for an extra long, cold winter. A mild January would be *much* nicer. El nino anyone?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 30, 1999.

Tricia, yesterday (after being locked into a dementia job for 3 weeks) we got out and were aghast at the number of oranging leaves! NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :_(

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 30, 1999.

Five weeks of balmy bliss

Ten-hour seering ride back

Brain and heart left behind

A cyber note

Fruitcake friends awaiting

New heart and brain flicker

Brain seed reading threads

Y2K reality hits

Heart flicker snuffed out

-- Chris (not really back yet) (%$^&^, July 30, 1999.

Welcome, Chris! Even if you're not really back yet - it's so neic to hear form you agian that I had ato write a not e to asy so. I'm too tire dt o fithg the typing ful righ t now , btu I shure howpe your come bauck soon!!!

-- Tricia the Cnacuk (, July 30, 1999.

Chris! !!!!!!!!!! What happened to you? ??????????? WOW !

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 30, 1999.

Yes, she's bbaaaaaack. Spotted her on another thread.

-- 2 Cascadians (, July 30, 1999.

Maybe I can write a legible response now - I'm awake! (Of course it's after midnight, sigh, working nights definitely has a deletrious effect on my circadians).

Chris, as well as it being so good to see you again, you got me giggling with that original FC. I also flipped over to the new prep forum for a peek in at the duct tape thread (also not started by Rob!?!). You, too, can qualify for DUH - simply provide an example of an unauthorized use of duct tape; your skis, maybe? How've you been the past few months? From your poem, I deduce you've been up here to Canuckia readying your bugout. Hope all your preps are going well.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, July 31, 1999.

Can this be true? Chris is back? Well, it's about time.

Welcome Home! You were missed fellow FRLian.

-- Rob Michaels (, July 31, 1999.

Thanks Tricia, Rob, A&L and fellow FRLians for the warm welcome back.

Tricia, the "poem" above was s'posed to be a haipoo eh...but some ducktape got in there somehow and stuck the third verse to the second. I forgot my brain back in Canukia, so don't expect

I left the forum a few months ago to take a break and rebalance my perspective. Not much new development was taken place then, and keeping up with this forum is extremely time consuming. Nothing much has happened from what I see and the threads are repeating themselves, only with new people ;-)

I indeed just got back from my Y2K retreat in Quebec, I spent a whole 5 weeks alone with my youngest son. It's been the most relaxing and healing time of my life. Returning here was very depressing. All the old stress sources hit me square in the face. Plus we're in the middle of a drought here, I left my green and flowery retreat to return to dead gardens and lawns...and sweltering heat and humidity...sigh. My retreat is ready, well at least I have all the basics there, it's only a matter of knowing how ready is "ready", so I'll keep adding beans and rice until the very end ;-) (I'm doing the same thing for my main residence.)

So where's this new prep forum Tricia? I'm sure I can qualify to be a DUH, I've used ducktape illegally many times before (but not on my skis! sheesh...Canukians are so stuck-up on latest fashions and looks, I'd be taken off the slopes, eh.)

-- Chris (%$^&^, July 31, 1999.


Welcome back! Do pop in, now and then. You may enjoy the "sanity" of the Prep Forum. The link is up in the "About" message on TBY2K or here...

TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) Preparation Forum (Y2K Prep Only Discussions)

http:// TimeBomb%202000%20%28Y2000%29%20Preparation%20Forum

Enjoy... and remember to relax... often.


-- Diane J. Squire (, July 31, 1999.

Chris: I think there is a link under the "About" section to the new 'prep' forum. You may notice that the FRL these days is a kinder, gentler FRL than in some previous times. Don't know how long this will last though.

I only floated the idea of starting a Ducttape Understanding and Help (DUH) group on the prep forum, but didn't start any dedicated thread to it like I did for the FRL. So many websites, so little time. I have been off the forum for about 10 days, and today is just a little break. Things will be very busy for most of August. Maybe some other poster will start DUH there in the meantime.

And yes, I did not start the FRL, and how I became the leader of this here thing still escapes me!!!! (I'll try anything to get outta this ya know). I think we should look for Sue, who started the first fruitcake thread. She is the leader-by-rights of the FRL, don't ya think? Maybe the next FRL thread should be called "Fruitcake V - The search for Sue".

-- Rob Michaels (, July 31, 1999.

Dunno, gotta consult over at legal, sumpin bout Y2K limits on sue-ing, time limitations, hunting down "originators," etc ;^)
We're looking forward to all the Asylum chickadees flocking back to their info watering hole around September & October to board the roller coaster watch ride. Countdown ... strap in with FRLian friends!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, July 31, 1999.

Chris, I hope you caught my "welcome back" on the original thread.

Hey, Rob! I saw a post from the very same "Sue" on the prep forum. She's still around. Wonder if she still keeps up with the FRL????

-- Gayla (, July 31, 1999.

Gayla: No kidding! Maybe we can get her to assume or resume or presume her rightful hysterical place as starter of the fruitcake stuff on the forum (and FRLian Leader too). Does she have a valid 'e'?

-- Rob (, August 01, 1999.

Shadows and darkness in the woods now.

The lake rests quietly beneath a clear, velvet black sky.

Fireflies dance under the warm stars.

The night deepens.

-- (, August 01, 1999.

Sigh..... Rob, can I come live at your house? It sounds so nice!! Woods and a lake..... sigh... I need to move!

Hey, where is Robert Cook? He was supposed to come home from vacation last night.

-- Gayla (, August 01, 1999.

UNpacking - way cool time (yeah -right - at 98 in the shade) in middle-FL-by-the-sea-but-not-mouse-world. Drove down too to see the solar power institute and library UCF has in Cocoa. (See, Diane, I don't only purvey coffee!) Got some more neat info from them on solar panels and other alt power stuff.

Fall is resuming all right - Jean starts band camp today for next year's marching season. Says she picked percussion because the drummer have to practive outside, but the "pit" percussion crew "has" to practice inside where it is air conditioned.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, August 02, 1999.

"Kewl" Robert.

Hey FRLians... taking a much needed Y2K break during August. See thread... 001B1O

I'll lurk upon occasion, but I like to start my day "without Y2K" for a bit.

*Very Big Sigh* ...of relief! (Thanks Chuck and Sysop #2 for the "breather").



-- Diane J. Squire (, August 02, 1999.

Welcome home Robert!! Jean is a smart girl!! :-)

Diane, enjoy a much deserved rest! It will be interesting to see how the trolls respond to Chuck. ??? (Or maybe... how he responds to them?)

Oh, Rob, dear FRL leader! Are you still trying to get out of being our leader? What's the matter? Aren't we paying you enough? LOL!

-- Gayla (, August 02, 1999.

Robert, Good Sir, Bearer of the Order of the Fruit: Welcome Back! I was beginning to wonder if being 'dubbed' had gone to your head :)

Gayla, Gayla, Gayla. Does your response mean I am still leader, even though Sue is the one who started the first thread?

Diane: Rest well dear FRLian. Stop by sometimes in case there are any important FRLian messages or activities.

-- Rob Michaels (, August 02, 1999.

Now I have seen everything! BTW Hardliner, how did you find out about the phone call from the Mounties? Do we have a security breach? This needs to be investigated immediately, or perhaps even sooner. It's frightening how your brain works :)

Now, Whats this I see? Lots of yummy stuff to drink. How about a swig from that there bottle... MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm. Another swig. MMMMMMMmmmmm. Dats worry gud. HAHAHAhahaha. Pass the deeze choodles and potaote pips! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. HAHAHAhahah. anodder bip. hikupup. OOOOOoooooo. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. My swim iz heading a bittle lit. Hay Lardhiner, gud dinnking bubby, watz in dis boddle? Zzzzzzzzzz. HAHAHAh Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzz zzzz zzz zz hikupup zz zz zz z

-- Rob Michaels (, August 02, 1999.

Wow! Awesome! Was wondering today where you went, Hardliner! Chris, you *do* know you were missed! Love those stories with pictures. Better than any fable we read as kids. Wow!

-- the wise old king and tinkerbell (, August 02, 1999.

*!@~B/?*& HTML does not act the way it should!

-- wise old man & tinkerbell (, August 03, 1999.


Troll Maria must have escaped! I just saw 2 of her postings. Oh, dear!! And we haven't heard from Chris again for a couple of days!! Where is Dudley Do-right? And where is S.O.B.? :-)

-- Gayla (, August 03, 1999.

Ohmygod! What's been happening here at the FRL?! I had to scroll back reading old posts on this thread to try to make sense of it all! Hardliner joined the FRL!! HOORAY!!! Pass the whiskey-soaked fruitcakes around guys, this is truely a special occasion!!

But...Rob Rob Rob!! O Great Leader, Possessor of all His Falculties (or used to), Calmerer and Enlightener of the Herd, Most Poised of the Porpoised in his Logicness, SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU GIVEN IN TO THE GREAT EVILS AND JOYS OF THE BOOZE??! And now I see you've corrupted His Most Sturdy and Steady Mindedness, Great Keeper of the Asylum With a Limeriked Tongue, His Foolishness Hardliner! (nerver thought I would say "foulishness" and "Hardliner" in the same sentence!)

I feel mixed poor (recovered) heart is warmed to the point of boiling. I don't feel I deserve such an exuberant welcome! Rob, perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea to corrupt Hardliner with a wee drop...who'd have thought he was so FRL'ing insane!! ROFL!

What?! No Molson Dry?! Oh well then, I'll settle for a finger of Canadian Club in 5 fingers of Ginger Ale. PARRRR-TY!

Now that I calmed down a bit, I'm wondering... Did I miss something? Is Troll Maria still around? Was she misbehaving while I was gone? To tell you the truth, Troll Maria always bored me, no style to her trolliness, simply dull tunnel vision. Jimmy Bagga Donuts, now that was an interesting troll! Creative and psychotic to the max! But not a sociopath, he had a big heart. I would miss him if I liked trolls.

Diane The Squire!! Congrats you ol' branch!! I'm sooo proud of you FRL Sister! From what I gathered lurking, you're the forum's moderator? If Ed consulted me on this, I would have thought of you right away! Great going Ed! Another great example of your infallible wisdom! :-)

Woah there Rob! Easy on the Canadian Club refills...*hic*

-- Chris (%$^&^, August 03, 1999.

Feel like home now?

-- Whozat? (, August 03, 1999.

Yeah, he's just so cuddable, NOT!

-- you can have him (under@bridge.stench), August 03, 1999.

Gayla: Several months? What on earth is going to happen in several months? :)

-- Rob Michaels (, August 03, 1999.

Rob, I have it on the best authority that nothing's going to happen in several months. Our government spokesperson said that they would let us know in plenty of time if things were going to be bad, but that they are right on track and everything is fine! Surely we can believe her, after all, what is there to gain by lying? (AAARRGHH)

They also showed a (n old?) clip of de Jaeger saying that anyone who states definitively that there won't be problems, doesn't know their own past IT/IS history.

No wonder I feel schizophrenic, the TV producers must too. Of course, the next blurb was how much science is doing to extend life, with someone (expert?) saying that the first immortals are now living. Obviously even large disruptions aren't going to affect our health science.

Where's that bottle - I need a slug!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, August 04, 1999.

Tricia, I've noticed a big change in Y2K reporting in Canadian T.V. this summer. In fact, I haven't noticed -any- Y2K reporting on T.V. in 5 weeks. Granted I didn't watch T.V. much, but I didn't watch anymore this past winter when they had a lot of it. No more "Y2K Titanic" commercials either. I suspect the Canadian and US govs. are in cahoot at media reporting of Y2K. Methinks Canadian gov. probably is a consultant to the US on how to control media coverage since they're experienced at it ;-)

Rob, I'm inclined but not reclined...yet *hic* I must pace myself and remain vigilant. Never know when the Stealth Rubber Duckies will invade and the missing red sock turn up duct-taped to their wings, that will be the sure all-out war signal and time for me to bail..or wail.

-- Chris (%$^&^, August 04, 1999.

Speaking of stealth rubber duckies, have you guys seen the new Muppet movie? They have a REALLY cool rubber ducky that holds powder to make you invisible! Wish I had one of those!!

BTW, come play with us (and MEAN OLD DiETeR!) on the new fruitcake thread:

Fruitcake 5

-- Gayla (, August 04, 1999.

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