Good comebacks for people who say "I'll just come to your house" : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Here are some good responses for those people who DGI, but say they will come to your house if TSHTF.

1. Great! I need someone to chop firewood and haul water.

2. Great! I need someone for night guard duty.

3. Great! I need someone to keep the kids entertained while I hunt.

4. Great! Just bring your own food, water and sleeping bags.

Please add your own suggestions.

-- Amy Leone (, December 07, 1999


Expect to wait outside for a week or two while I process your application to enter.

-- John (, December 07, 1999.

Great! I'll put you to work in my fertilizer!

-- Alfred E (, December 07, 1999.

#5. Great! I need someone to dig garbage and human waste pits, and to carry crap outside in the snow and cold all winter, unarmed!

#6. Great! You can be target practice! I needed a target... Here, when you come over, wear this bulleye!

#7. Great! You can handle the sick, and dispose of decaying bodies...

-- Crono (, December 07, 1999.

5. Great! you-uns can sleep on the concrete floor in the basement 6. Great! I need someone to work the grain grinder 6 hours per day 7. Great! I need someone to sit up all night and monitor the police scanner. 8. Great! The spring is only 600 ft down the hill. 9. Great! I need someone to ride down the mountain each day and back on a bike to get the mail.

-- Les Holladay (, December 07, 1999.

Great! Bring a body bag.

-- C. Hill (, December 07, 1999.

Great! I need someone to answer the door when the neighborhood gets unruly.

-- haha (, December 07, 1999.

TOO BAD, I won't be THERE!

-- Charli Claypool (, December 07, 1999.

Great! I could use another 150 lbs of meat, how much do your wife & kids weigh? : o )

-- Matt (, December 07, 1999.

Great! My lizard needs live food!

-- Charli Claypool (, December 07, 1999.

Great! Got any daughters?

-- Porky (Porky@in.cellblockD), December 07, 1999.

Do ya feel lucky? Well do ya?

-- eastwood babe (, December 07, 1999.

1. Great! You'll have to share the dog house with my Rottweiler, his name is Spike, and pack some flea spray for yourself.

-- bardou (, December 07, 1999.

Hope you like SPAM.

-- SpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpam (Spam@Spam.Spam), December 07, 1999.

Great, I will enjoy sleeping while you do the 4am milking of the cow and stoking the wood stove so the house is warm when I get up.

-- chicken farmer (chicken-farmer@, December 07, 1999.


I have room for 8 people. Who are you replacing? How do you plan on persuading them to leave?

-- mushroom (, December 07, 1999.

And the winner is.....

Plain talk.

"I have room for 8 people. (etc.)

-- Tom Carey (, December 07, 1999.

No, the "winner" is to say nothing or to lie and say that you've sold all your preps since you wouldn't end up using them anyway. As we've seen in past threads, those who used clever comebacks usually got equally clever and/or frightening responses. They'll either call your bluff, think you're joking, or even worse, believe you're serious and come over ready to take you on with MORE weapons.

The responses above are certainly amusing, but if you want to avoid getting yourself and your family killed, you should stay low and not call attention to yourself.

-- (its@coming.soon), December 07, 1999.

Tell them to buy their ticket now. Bidding starts at the entire content of their IRA's, 401K's and real estate holdings. THEN we'll talk!

Haggler Kook

-- Y2Kook (, December 07, 1999.

Mushroom, that is a damn good response. Thank you.

-- (, December 07, 1999.

you don't know where i live.

-- muley (, December 07, 1999.

Great! I need a quick source of fossil fuel!!!

sorry, very morbid joke...couldn't resist.

-- Hokie (, December 07, 1999.

Well, swell! But first, we'll have to clear it with my buddy Neil G. Lewis just to make sure you aint a commie pinko rabble-rouser fox-hole faggot. Bring food and an extra flag (stars-and-stripes only, please)

-- Robertis Paranoid (, December 07, 1999.


Your're going to be getting mail after civilization collapses? How? Most of us don't even get it on a regular basis now!


I thought one of the reasons civilization was going to collapse was that banking would go down, and things like IRA's and 401k"s would be worthless.

Some pretty funny ideas about how the comforts YOU need will still exist after civilization has collapsed so completely that only bunker dwellers will survive.

-- walt (, December 07, 1999.

When you give your snappy comebacks be deeply sincerely sad that you don't have more room/food to spare, then hand then a some canned squid or pickled pigs feet and instant rice and wish them well. So sad... so sorry... this is all we have left. Good luck at the next place you try. Say.. by the way.. have you got any toilet paper?

-- Linda (, December 07, 1999.

I always say, "That's why we bought the guns."

-- Pearlie Sweetcake (, December 07, 1999.

I don't talk about anyone very few know my preps except direct family members who think I'm insane. Some of them will have a place to come to...the others will be 'Shoot on Sight'

Cold world and the SOS'rs have ridiculed me to no ending and told their friends and my family how stupid they think I am. So they better not show up here.

-- Meateater (, December 07, 1999.

Great. I'll be expecting you! In fact I have already laid in a supply of food for my friends who haven't prepared. I have a 100 pound bag of Gravy train. You'll be amaized at how good it tastes when you are really hungry.

-- Jim Stranfield (, December 07, 1999.

Come on over. I'll be expecting you! In fact I have already laid in a supply of food for my friends who haven't prepared. I have a 100 pound bag of Gravy Train. You'll be amaized at how good it tastes when you are really hungry.

-- Jim Stranfield (, December 07, 1999.

off off

-- (, December 07, 1999.


I know you're just having fun here, but I truly am troubled that the idea of hospitality has become a dirty word. In 'everything goes' CA, believe me I've noticed that people don't hesitate to try to impose on others.

That said, I know several single moms and others who I'm very concerned about. We've got some neighbors who have more kids than they can handle and are fairly scruple-free. That said, having been in some dicey situations, you never know who your best ally will turn out to be.

Remember if you do have kids, they are excellent observers and will remember the content of your character when it is challenged.

-- flora (***@__._), December 07, 1999.

I don't talk about anyone very few know my preps except direct family members who think I'm insane. Some of them will have a place to come to...the others will be 'Shoot on Sight' Cold world and the SOS'rs have ridiculed me to no ending and told their friends and my family how stupid they think I am. So they better not show up here.

You are probably the only other person on this thread who will survive in the coming months. The snappy comebacks and false bravado I've seen here will end up getting many supposedly GI families killed.

-- (its@coming.soon), December 07, 1999.

Flora, people who have children should then take Y2K seriously. How do you plan to take care of everyone? You don't have the money nor the resources to provide for everyone nor should you be expected to. There's no doubt in my mind that people will be knocking on your door. If you choose to help then you must be prepared fully to handle the mob that will show up at your house. What will happen when you run out of food and supplies? Are you prepared to be burned out of your home when you can no longer feed the neighbors and their children? The thought is a noble one but it may get you killed. As far as children remembering character, they will remember that their mommy and daddy couldn't care for them but they could have. I often wonder what was going through Noahs mind when he pulled the door closed.

-- bardou (, December 07, 1999.


I was thinking of you when I wrote the above, & had a pretty good feeling of what you'd say. Your point does have merit. I know I'm a bit soft-hearted, that's when I'm not being hard-headed. I know I can't take everybody in. We very well may be burned out, by accident or intent, long before the rat's nest runs dry. I don't know what's going to happen, or how fast, or how long. I was the child of a widow, and maybe that gives me a different viewpoint.

I know some of the parallels with WWII are getting threadbare, but my world has been enriched by the family who took Anne Frank's family in. Maybe we have been fortunate to be the crazy 'touched' people who have read the signs and taken heed. At times I hope to stand up to the challenges with gumption, grit, & graciousness {thanks to A&L for framing the last two}.

As for those neighbors, well that's a whole nother kettle of worms!

-- flora (***@__._), December 07, 1999.

A topical thread from the past:

"I'll just come to your house..." msg.tcl?msg_id=000yHf

-- Tim (, December 07, 1999.

Amy, the last time I heard that idiotic phrase "I'll just come to your house", I retorted, "OH NO YOU WON'T!"

The hearer was shocked and then smirked in disbelief.

I expect to have lots of unwelcome DGI idiots banging on my doors.

-- dinosaur (, December 07, 1999.

I don't remember when I laughed so hard, some pretty funny stuff. But really folks, I have a single male friend that I have been warning for the last year to get himself ready. His response was always "I'll just come to your house". A month ago we met for breakfast, I told him once again that he would not be coming to my house and he had better get his act together. Jokingly he said again, "I'll just come to your house, I can help you with things". I told him that I would turn him away and send him packing to the nearest shelter. I was dead serious and he knew it, in fact he said "You don't have to be so hard Mary'. I said "Yes I do". He is now getting his y2k act together.

-- Mary T. (, December 07, 1999.

Great! Your job will be running down to 7-11 to pick last minute items.

-- the Virginian (, December 07, 1999.

From: Y2K, ` la Carte by Dancr (pic), near Monterey, California

Coming to my house? ::: Big belly laugh ::: That's a good one. Heck no. I'm coming to your house!

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage), December 07, 1999.

Great, we need someone to help collect coconuts.

-- Mad Monk (, December 08, 1999.

Great, but if it's already moving, you'd better get the hell outta the way!!

-- Michael (, December 08, 1999.

" I often wonder what was going through Noahs mind when he pulled the door closed. "

This is a good thought but you must remember that the "Lord shut him in." (Genesis 7:16) God knew that if He didn't seal the door that it might have been opened by Noah or one of his family. It is indeed a tough decision to face on whom you decide to help and not to help at any given time in your life. I'm for lying low too, but when folks need help and they don't aim to hurt you or your family it's hard for me to know exactly how I'd respond.

-- Tucky (, December 08, 1999.

I'd probably ask, "How do you feel about eating crickets?" This would help determine how prepared the person was to accept some hardships. And yes, I have eaten cooked crickets, finding them tolerable though not pleasant. I suggest removing the legs and wings.

-- David L (, December 08, 1999.

Send your wife or girlfriend over for an hour or so with a couple of rubbers and we'll negotiate what she returns with (or not).

-- A (, December 08, 1999.

... or your daughter ... :-)

-- A (, December 08, 1999.

Hey A,

Not to be cantankerous, but that kind of response might tend to get one burned out in some parts.

-- flora (***@__._), December 08, 1999.

A, Do you realize one half of the HUMAN race knows how "people" like you feel? How dare you be so glib. Do you have a mother, sister, daughter?

It depends on the number doesn't it? 1-10? And how fast or hard it progresses? Who can judge that in advance? I have spent 1300 to 1600per wk. tring to make since of it and I am still undecided.

I can't prep human reaction.

But I can look over my sholders for mean, nasty, self-serving people like you.... As I have all my life

-- Hatti (, December 08, 1999.

I meant this year. Yes I know I can't spell and I don't know how to use the spell check, but I have raised seven competent children and not one of my sons would write what you did A.

-- Hatti (, December 08, 1999.

A, Have you watched "Paradise Lost?"

Is this how you think women should be treated?

-- Hatti (, December 08, 1999.


Don't let him throw ya. Lots of folks are just workin' out those inner demons.

I'm tellin' ya A, I hope you're just funnin' too. Talk about meeting a bad end, faster than a mad dog.

-- flora (***@__._), December 08, 1999.

flora, I hope so too! Movie was "Paradise Road".

A, Were you "just having fun?"

-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.

Come backs for people that would come to your house!!

I am looking at my soul on how I would turn children away!

And,A, is tring to figure out who he is going to use. Sick.

-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.

Perhapes "A" is a nasty dike?? Or are you a "real man?"

-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.

I am 38 and looking GOOD! What do you care about?

-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.



This is what it "MEANS" can I come to your house??

I know I can not feed everyone!

But how far will I sink into evil?

I hate that question.

I will do the best I can when it gets here!

-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.

"A," What are you going to do?

-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.

Kick your ass "A" ??????

I know the womens movement is dead with Y2" GIVE IT UP "K

The only thing I was ever political about was not to be PUT DOWN!!!

Rubbers? "Your",Mama???? Sister? Daughter??

Don't call a man a ,"PUSSY " and then use this to put women down. Think for yourselves! Why don't you call each other wieners?

At the same time this could be used as a compliment.

"Pussies" (Women) or "Tit's" feed babies.

Or they (TITS) could get sexy in somebody's "Mud"...

I love men!!! and I Hate women being put down!

Think what your saying! Love your Women the same way you do your... ???? Car? Freedom, Woodie?

I don't know what you love? Why not half of your race?? They have earned it!

What is anyone fixing code for??

why bother?

If all you are going to do is count your rubbers,then you are moraly subject to JIT production the same as the rest of us. Doesn't that make you a slut?

The time is running out on your responsibilities too.


-- Hatti (, December 09, 1999.

Jeez Hattie, How do you really feel? His comment was offensive, to be sure. It was flip, to be sure. So were the comments about cannibalizm and any number of other foolishnesses people want to pop back with when someone says they will "just come to your place."

Any of the 'isms' are distastefull and dangerous. I personally find your generalizations about men quite the same genere. So kindly keep my woodie out of this. You think you have a bone to pick with 'A', so pick it with 'A' and not with all men.

Thank you

-- (...@.......), December 09, 1999.

Oh, yeah, one last thing. Ever hear some guy call another one a 'prick', or perhaps a 'dick'? Then there is the 'unisex' insult, 'ass'. Which can be construe to mean donkey in polite circles, unless one carrys it to the extreme and says 'ass-hole'. Which by the way is an common insult in darned near any language.

[snip ...@....... long angry diatribe about NOW ]

-- (...@.......), December 09, 1999.

--A-- I flip pancakes! Not opinoins!

I will call a boy on wrong when I see it!

"A" are you going to take a stand? WIMP!!!!

-- Hatti (, December 11, 1999.

What if it lasts only a few weeks!!

What if it lasts your "lifetime?"

We still need to get on with our lives...

Please excuese.....Hatti

-- Hatti (, December 11, 1999.

"You'd never make it past the advance sentries"

-- apokoliptik (, December 11, 1999.

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