Know your Fruitcake, the second. : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Fruitcake, a poignant thread, err perhaps a pregnant thread has just given birth to this, a following thread.

FRLians, join me in starting out, again, to survey the Stealth goose population, as it is now in the throes of expansion.

And Mrs Driver suggests that the Stealth Geese on her work property are NOT setting up light housekeping, as they appear to be sitting on NOT ONE, NOT TWO, but THREE eggs. She indicates that she had taught a couple of the guys at work to "talk goose" with their hands, doing the agressive motion best described as "a snake head wiggle" from behind the glass in the lunch room. this turned to be NOT a good thing as the male treated them ALL to a display of his full wingspan and a fullthroated (consider the length of that throat!!) scream!! GOOSE IN ATTACK MODE!! Several people actually backed away from the window!!


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 11, 1999


Recruit them quick! They're our kind of geese :-) We need all the hissing fortitude possible at this point. Ah, how nice to access the thread. Thought we'd have to dangle outside the fray. Y'all got twine to spare? Sounds like the work choreography got the gander's dander, looked like chore ogres, better than coryatrophy ;-)

Reporting in to FRLian duty, Rob: what command zee?

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 11, 1999.

Lurkers, FRLians, Posters, lend me your keyboreds. Four months and 600 answers ago, the original "Know Your Fruitcake" thread was started. This is a continuation of that thread.

Chuck the Night Driver is the Starter of this New Thread so I guess that also makes him the new FRLian Leader. Congratulations, Oh Great Driver in the Night.

Here is a little background for those of you that may think we are crazy (You're right), and not know what The FRL is.

Who we are: The Fruitcake Resistance League (FRL) - People who post to this thread are FRLians.

What we do: Protect our Freedoms whenever and wherever and whyever and however we must against the evil en, ene, enem, enemy known as the Fruitcake Reserve Bored (The Bored) and their insidious plots - the most recent one was called "Know Your Fruitcake. The FRL was detrimental in de-feeting, or dis-arming, or stopping this wicked proposal from becoming realty.

So welcome all FRLians, Lurkers, Posters, and especially future FRLians. Feel free to join us in our activities.

-- Rob Michaels (, April 11, 1999.

Tis a truly charmed thread, the First Fruitcake, and loaded

Know Your Fruitcake! (not for the serious)

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 11, 1999.

The FRB (Fruitcake Reserve Bored) has announced it is providing the Boring system with ample liquidity of walnuts in case the Bores need to provide FRLians with extra walnuts for the Y2k. FRLians: DO NOT take all of the walnuts out of your fruitcakes!!! This will lead to a collapse of your fruitcake, and could SCARE other FRLians into a walnut run on fruitcakes which could lead to a TOTAL COLLAPSE of ALL fruitcakes!!! The FRB is aware that many FRLians will want to take a few days worth of walnuts out of their Bores and is providing ample liquidity to reassure FRLians nervous about the Y2K rollover.

-- Leslie (***@***.net), April 11, 1999.

Welcome Leslie, newest FRLian, and thank you for your post. We FRLians have long known about the Bored's attempt to reduce the quality of our fruitcake. Currently, the fruitcake that most people have does not contain the walnuts, hard candies, and Booze that real fruitcake has. This fake stuff is called fiat fruitcake , it is baked with nothing but confidence and cake! All of us need to remain wigilant against the evil Bored, and so we will be on the lookout for any attempts to create a run on wallnuts, or floornuts, or any other nuts.

-- Rob Michaels (, April 11, 1999.

Dear FRL,

what about those of us who are always low on walnuts? Since the fruitcakes haven't got many of our walnuts as it is, wouldn't it be better for us to borrow walnuts, so that more walnuts would be created, or something?

what happens if the fruitcakes collapse and those of us who have fruitcake cards still owe our local fruitcake a whole bunch of walnuts? Isn't less more, or something?

this new math confuses me!!


-- Arlin H. Adams (, April 11, 1999.

The stealth rubber duckies usually could be found placed near PeekOns. Some far asunder missions included Brazil Nuts. There were sunflower and pumpkin placements. One defector was caught raiding the wallflowernuts for brownies. FillBerts are good fillins for hazels. Some slingshot fruitcake experiments were carried out on AllMounds. There was one fortification whose flounder went AWOL and some fruitnuts pined away for the ran.cid PisstAssiole. We would crumble without the nutcases!

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 11, 1999.

YAHOO, it only took seconds to load this fruitcake! :-) !!

On the other hand, I was counting on being able to go get my coffee while the thread loaded. I'll have to be more organized, now.

Point out of order, Rob, you're not going to get out of leadership so easily, you still bear the responsibility for starting all this silliness in the first place. Chuck just elected himself your second in command, that's all. Moreover, the correct spelling of currently when referring to fruitcakes is 'currantly', although you may have to teach your spell checker this as a new word.

Thanks for the vote, Chuck, I see you swung the pendulum ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 11, 1999.

Like Tarzan swinging thru the vines at night ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 11, 1999.


Y2k investment tip: In regard to the creation of worthless fiat frutcakes by the Fruitcake Reserve Board, historically bullion fruitbars have doubled and tripled in value. Of course it is important to diversify your holdings; slivered almond fruit bars have currently risen 20% in value as compared to whole grain or peach varieties. A diversified portfolio would include 45% slivered almond, 35% whole grain and 20% peach.

-- Leslie (***@***.net), April 11, 1999.

Having now taken the time to check the other thread (and get my decaf), I can celebrate our monthiversary with the following:


Gather here, friends, joyfully

Celebrate with me :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 11, 1999.

Cheers! Click, clink, drink, Tricia ;-) Gotta be careful not to put any mugs o jiggle juice on this here thread ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 11, 1999.

SHuT UP SHut uP shuT uP SHuT Up!!!!!!!! INFideL JACkalS!!!!! IS Not onE THReaD OF yoUR INSanE RAntiNG And baCK SCratCHINg enOUGH????? whY DO You conTINue WitH YouR INSidiOUS CIRcLe jeRK?????? siLEnce YOu hyeNAS!!!!!! HAve yOU APEs nO SHamE?????? Do yoU WEaR YOur NOnsenSICaL giBBERisH As a baDGE of prIDE?????? HuH????? idiOts!!!!! beGOne frOM DIEteR's siGHt oF THE MomeNT IMEdiaTE!!!!! whAT IS This FOoLisHNEss?????? PLeaSE BE SiLenT Now fOR DIEteR'S BRAinS ArE LeaKIng RED!!!!!! shaMELEss baBOons!!!!!!

i haTE YoU!!!!!

-- Dieter (, April 11, 1999.

DiETeR, glad you could make it to the anniversary party. We've got some beavers over here reserved just for you!!

-- Gayla Dunbar (, April 12, 1999.

Now, Unc, just because I beat you to the draw is no reason to sic Dieter on us ;-)

And actually, Dieter, I do wear my gibberish as a badge of pride, although I lay no claims to being the equal of Lewis Carroll. He was my inspiration at one time, and I think I can still quote his poem about the bandersnatch without having to look it up. Oops, not quite, I'd forgotten the jub-jub bird, I had to go through it twice to remember.


Poor Dieter whines alot

He dislikes it when we play

Bandwidth waste annoys!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 12, 1999.

PHEW!! I step out for a bio function, come back and am already elected the "LEADER", return for a DIFFERENT bio function (ask a GOOD hockey goalie about the second one) and get back to find I'm demoted. THANK THE LORD!!!

The only REAL question is will the Enumerator of That Which Must be Enumerated (SOBob) find us?? I left a forewarding address.

Chuck, who has been known to be somewhat impulsive.

-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 12, 1999.

Have you ever wondered what the sky would look like if it were green?

-- Contributor to the Nuttiness (Fruitiness) of this Thread (fruity@joe.stealth), April 12, 1999.

We are planning a coup. We fruitcake lovers have had it. Wads of doughy pound cake, confined in PVC with small pieces of unmelted dry ice sealed inside, will soon put these anti-fruitcake infidels on the run and rid the world of fruitcake haters and culinary cleansers.

Chris of catsy pond will be head of the new leadership. In her previous statement she said, "The only sane and righteous people remaining on this earth are fruitcake lovers. And we're persecuted. This is the end of the world." There is more, but you get our drift. We will overcome. Fruitcake will be the national food. Our pride will be restored.

-- gilda jessie (, April 12, 1999.

First, I think we need to use caution before employing the Stealth Geese that Chuck mentions. I understand they are obviously excellent attackers. However, by the SOUNDS of the story, they are not very stealth. This could pose serious problems and could alert members of The Bored to our activities.

Having said that. I must congratulate whoever enacted the Protective Vision Lenses safety shield on this. It is obvious, judging from Dieters comments, that PVLs are in perfect operation as Dieter cannot see the forest for the trees. Obviously, Dieter has not seen us as the nuts we truly are and has mistakenly identified us as baboons.

This is big time folks. The FRL is leading The Bored in the TechNUTology war!

-- Christine A Newbie (, April 12, 1999.


FRLians: I have some disturbing news. The beavers that we deployed (underground) to protect the Circus in the D.C. area have been caught. Luckily, they have been eating the stash of non-fiat fruitcake (with booze) and are in good condition :)

Here is a brief excerpt from the article.

Beavers Threaten Cherry Trees By MARGARET SCHERF Associated Press

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A second beaver was nabbed Sunday amid Washington's blooming cherry trees, but a trapper spotted a third one near where the gnawing rodents have toppled the trees. ``We have an official sighting,'' said Julia Long, National Park Service biological sciences technician. ``My trappers this morning saw it.'' John Adcock Jr., whose father owns the trapping service, said the beaver caught Sunday appears to be a yearling. ``It's in very good health. He's pretty mellow at this point, not agitated, seems pretty comfortable,'' Adcock said. Since they began gnawing on April 1, she said the beavers have felled or damaged 14 trees. Four cherries, five white cedars and one holly have been brought down, and four larger cherry trees have been damaged. Two are severely damaged and might not survive, Long said.

For the rest of the story, here is the link:

I am going to have to begin immediate negations with the enema to get our BPOWs (Beaver Prisoners of War) returned to us. Wish me luck in my under-takings.

-- Rob Michaels (, April 12, 1999.

Rob, I can't believe they are blaming our Beaver brothers & sisters for the damage done to those trees! Here is an excerpt from AP:

"...President Klinton was quoted as saying "I cannot tell a lie, it was those evil Beavers that chopped down the cherry trees"(snip)

It was only a matter of time!

-- Deborah (, April 12, 1999.

Oh I get it:

Five cedars downed....,

Four cherries chewed,

Three beavers spotted,

Two badly damaged,

And one holly treed.....

But Sir Chuckles of the night drivers - whose lovely wife evidently is training her fellow co-workers (co-conspirators no doubt) - just what is this "agressive snake head wiggle" being done "behind the glass" to incite our stealth geese? I too would perhaps would become excited and angered if a "snake headed wiggle" were being performed in public by a couple of guys ....

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 12, 1999.

I've been a nutcase for many years. May I join up?

I would love to be a part of the FRLian brotherhood. (Of course, to be politically correct, it would have to be called a personhood. Oh, who cares?)

I can't remember if there is a secret password or handshake. I _have_ read through all of the threads on the first 'Know your fruitcake' thread but all I remember is a melange of stealth ducks, beavers, fiat fruitcakes and plenty of silliness.

I do have first hand knowledge of fruitcakes, having actually made and yes, eaten those wonderfully fruity/nutty concoctions. And I can say unequivocably that they never had feathers or wood chips in them. Must I modify Grandpa's recipe to become complaint with FRLian standards? If so, I must retract my bid for membership as I am hardly ever compliant. (Just ask my hubby!)

Long live the Fruitcake Resistance League! Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, April 12, 1999.

There is a secret password of course, and has been faithfully memorized by all that have previousy signed into the FRL.

Although I may get in trouble with some of the other members, I will share the password with you.

It is ********

-- Craig (, April 12, 1999.

TAG Someone else is IT.

Chief of the cleanup squad

-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 12, 1999.

Maybe we need to start planning for summer fruitcake recipes?

As in ... some 'er fresh fruits, or some 'er chopped nutz?

The FRL could use some more "sizzle" to keep us motivated.

Ideas? Suggestions?


-- Diane J. Squire (, April 12, 1999.

Carbonated "punch" fruitcake, Diane?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 12, 1999.

Add frozen Girl Scout mint cookies to summer fruitcake - those things will keep forever!

Oh - I forgot the password Sir Rob of the mixed metaphors and metathree's, say it again louder, would you please?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 12, 1999.

Well, there is reason to be cheered. It turns out that the Beavers caught in DC are not our FRLian Circus security agents after all. The actual Beaver FRLian agents reported to me over the secure line (using the Beaver translator) that they are still underground, using the cover of moles, are OK, and are awaiting orders. I instructed them to return to base so as to mitigate any chance that they might be caught in the fray and held. They have already arrived safely on station. Naturally, I could not report this to you until they were back in our hands, or under our feet, or in our general era, or ...

-- Rob Michaels (, April 12, 1999.

Is that the Union Station, or the Penn Station (named, of course, for sylvanianian woods of great repute to beavers of the colonial era), where they are awaiting your odors (er - orders) undercover?

Under whose covers? Which mole? Which male? Whose beavers with which males? (moles ?) Under whose covers? How are they bearing up under the stress? Are they baring up, or bearing under? Under which bears are they baring? Polar or brown? Feathered?

Inquiring minds are two confused to know! Butt, what else is gnu?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 12, 1999.

And everyone wonders why the server gets so busy.

-- (@ .), April 12, 1999.

Robert, so good to see you made it back (safely?), and with your sense of the ridiculous complete and intact or subtact or antact... Now maybe I won't be hit by Cookisms for awhile ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 13, 1999.

Tax day tomorrow.

Will next year be different?

Only time will tell!

-- Gayla Dunbar (, April 14, 1999.

So many friends here!

I'm happy to see you all :-)

Where is Chris - catsy?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 14, 1999.

Been contemplating life and I really want to know ...

Will fruitcake ever supplant duct tape?

(Rob, how about an essay on what duct tape and Y2K have in common?)


-- Diane J. Squire (, April 15, 1999.

To the question above "What if the sky were green?" - I'd have tor reply:

The stealth ducks (those that are brown and green) would be fine = they'd fly upside-down (like metric geese do anyway) so that the darker feathers that used to be their topside would be on the their real (non-fiat) topside, and the other feathers (that really are on the non-fiat bottom-side would now be on the new (fiat, or false) topside, which is the real (non-fiat) bottom side.

However, landing could prove difficult - as the fiat bottom-side needs to become the real top-side and the real topside has to flipover and become the fiat bottom-side -until they take off again and the whole thing reverses again.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 15, 1999.

Oh, thank goodness, and chuck,...I'm gonna pull up a chair and rest a bit here among friends,'s been a long week. I can be drafted for an odd job,...I'm a good dishwasher and a passing good cook. I love geese and ducks,....and they know I won't eat 'em. If some are missing it's 'cos they decided to hang with the circus for a bit,...audiences love the synchro air routines they do, especially when they spell out "If it's strange to be normal, it's normal to be strange" over the Big Top.

I'm not sleeping, just resting my eyes....

-- Donna Barthuley (, April 15, 1999.

Uh, Donna, well, we already have one Cook - one that refuses to go in the kitchen too - I don't go in there either unless I'm, uh, well, nevermind. Fact is, we both remember when there were two Cooks on this here forum - wonder whatever happened to Karen.

And where is Chris?

-- Rob Michaels (, April 15, 1999.

For Donna, who was caught napping:


10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." (Clockwise)

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work- related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk... 1. " ...Amen."

-- Gayla Dunbar (, April 15, 1999.

I've missed you fruitcakes. Things have been hectic. Still are but must stop to smell the fruitcakes now and then. About the walnuts--de rigeur. And they're ENGLISH walnuts, not just any walnuts.

-- Old Git (, April 15, 1999.

Diane, not as essay, but here are some initial thoughts on Y2K and Duct Tape.

Duct Tape can be used in each of the six phases of any Y2K project as follows:

1. Awareness: Become aware of how Duct Tape can solve many aspects of your Y2K problem.

2. Inventory: Figure out how much Duct Tape you may need, and then multiply times 3 and stock up.

3. Assessment: Determine where, why, when, how, or on whom you will use your Duct Tape.

4. Renovation: Apply Duct Tape now to fix the Y2K problem.

5. Validation: Also known as testing what you fixed, and skipped on most projects. After all, if you can't fix it with Duct Tape then that sucker is really broken and should be retired.

6. Implementation: Go Live! Try actually using whatever you Duct Taped, or, if you are a real programmer, have someone else try it - like the user, preferably while you are on vacation.

-- Rob Michaels (, April 15, 1999.

Summer Menu Ideas:

Grilled Fruitcake Mesquite
Beans and Fruitcakes
Macaroni and Fruitcake Salad

-- Grrr (, April 15, 1999.

But, Grr, where do you get summer fruitcakes?? (Other than here, of course)

I'm gonna e Chris and tell her we started a new thread, won't she please come in to play?!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 15, 1999.

Tricia - I believe the summer menu may be a means of eliminating more of those fiat fruitcakes -

summer fruitcakes; summer not.

I apologize - can't pass up a good (er bad) pun.

-- Christine A Newbie (, April 15, 1999.


Thanks, Christine. Better watch out; if you like puns, you're liable to end up doing Cookisms, could be dangerous.

No word yet from Chris (catsy), maybe tomorrow... Gotta go now, too many typing mistakes needign to be corrected, alph flu onset!

-- Trivia the Canuck (, April 16, 1999.

Duct tape: Only the FRLians here apparently know that this is secretly an Acronymn, and a pretty funny one at that IMO. Perhaps they can share the "strategic deception" versions of what it is not, just to throw the Fruitless-Evil-Demons (FEDs) off the track.

Speaking of Stealth Geese (when I screw up my Win95 system, my mouse becomes a black arrow on a black background, which I call "the stealth mouse" -- no, that is not relevent -- yes, my coworkers and I were just bragging about how this plant made the stealth bomber before it showed up in flames on the news -- no, that is not relevent either) I am planning to get some Stealth Chickens, and perhaps even some Stealth Bunnies. I made funny snaky motions in front of window yesterday in the hopes that some Stealth Geese would come find me, but you know how hard it is to find those nowadays, particularly the Tri-Fuel Geese.

In order to properly plan for this, of course I first have to assess the risks and systems, and it is from this that I will form my estimate of the future. Unfortunately it was explained to me that only people with 30 years experience in making snaky motions at Stealth Geese from behind glass windows, with 2 major degrees in Stealthoritarianism, and an additional requirement that they converse in 7.9 fowl languages fluently (and not just chicken-latin, mind you!), are actually qualified to truly address the Stealth Fowl issues. I advertised in every beef market I could find, but despite this I have not been able to find even one truly qualified Stealth Goose expert who actually believes that any Stealth Geese are going to survive the simultaneous implosions of 1.2 million 7- 11 drugstores, which is going to bring on the three days of darkness which Dr. North described, sometime shortly after his monologue on how he would take over the world himself if only Y2K hadn't come along and threatened his ambition, and him I find a darn site better than FEMA taking over the world, since they could let me starve but Dr. North and his people would at least just burn me at the stake and be done with it early on. Where was I. Oh yeah, 7-11's.

FRLians understand that "toast" refers specifically to that food which is fed to Stealth Geese when no actual Purina Goose Food is available on the shelf, this of course being caused by imminent supply line disruptions which we count on as a result of planes carrying Purina Goose Food falling out of the clear blue sky. Thus "toast" is inferring that you are essentially Meat For The Geese if you are within five miles from an imploding 7-11. Then there are those who are witty commentators but have not helped my Goose Education one bit, such as DietER (and who wouldn't be grouchy, I'm always a real rag when I'm on a diet too). "Diet" is "DIE" with a "T", as Garfield says. Or was that Milne. Never mind.

PJ in TX

-- PJ Gaenir (, April 16, 1999.

If you duck tape english walnuts to the sides of an imploding 7-11, does it attract fiat-side down stealth geese?

Summer'd say yes, summer'd say no.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 16, 1999.

I want the opinions of trusted others...and the FRL qualifies, in bushels-full. I'm thinking of starting a Y2K question and answer column along the lines of Ann Landers....Like,..."Ask Aunt Donna",...or "Ask The Woman on the Hill"....I realize it may be a troll-beacon, but aside from that it may be a way to recruit FRLeagers, and provide some heartfelt, nurturing commentary.

Am I whacked? Is this just one-zinfandel-too-many-in-the-afternoon-thinking? I trust you all to tell me the truth. I'm not thin-skinned about feedback. So tell me. Of course I will weigh FRLers more than any trollish types that appear now,...goes without saying. I mighta been born at night, but it wasn't LAST night.


-- Donna Barthuley (, April 16, 1999.

Donna: Am I a "trusted other"? If I am an "other" than how can I be "me". Wouldn't that mean I am someone else? This is all very confusing. Did you say you have some wine? NOw that you mentioned it, I am getting a little thirsty - especially since I am not sure who I am now.

Now, what was you question? Oh, yeah, I think you should go for it with the expectation that you will do it as an experiment - maybe it'll work, maybe it won't - and you may learn a thing or two along the way and it could be fun. Don't mention anything about sheets though :)

-- I think I am Rob but ain't sure anymore (, April 16, 1999.

Thanks, Rob....Yes, you are a trusted other. And you are Rob. AND there is zinfandel, but it translates poorly across the internet. I haven't rummaged in the FRL kitchen cabinets yet...just got up from a nap. I think I'll go with your experiment suggestion. And I'll welcome input from everyone else, too.


-- Donna Barthuley (, April 16, 1999.

Donna, Go For It!

Chris says she's fine, just busy :

"Glad to hear from you, pass the word on the new fruitcake thread that I'm busy straightening out the inventory ;)"

Gotta go myself, I get to work tonight.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 16, 1999.

Hmmmm New forum format looks INTERESTING, just the trolls etc will now be id-able.


GO FOR IT, just wear the designer kevlar sailing jacket and teh designer kevlar hat.


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 17, 1999.

Attention FRLian Field Marshalls: Ashton, Leska, S.O.B., and Tricia:

It is now time to report upon the migration status of our FRLian Stealth Geese. Please inform the FRL as to this immedately, or sooner if you can, or by the end of this week, or by the beginning of next week, or sometime in the future like before, or befive, or besix. We need a report from each squadron so that we can know where our assets are in case they need to be employed, or deployed, or just plain ployed. Remember that just because you don't see them doesn't mean they are not there!

p.s. I do not have any valid email address and noticed the new request that we no longer use fake ones. What to do?

-- Rob Michaels (, April 17, 1999.

Me too, Rob. I think perhaps if all of us here started clicking the "No e-mail notification" box, it would cut down on the number of bounces and there wouldn't come a point where Ed or Phil would have to insist on using a valid address. I'm on a Porno-Spam List From Hell and a Spam of All Sorts List From Hell and I don't want to get on yet another! Too many fruitcakes out there too. Oh. Sorry. No offense.

-- Old Git (, April 17, 1999.

Old Git: I do check that box off whenever I start a new thread, almost always. Ironically, the last thread I started I think I forgot to do this but that is very unusual. So, do you think we can still use our fake id's as long as we check the box?

-- Rob Michaels (, April 17, 1999.

Reporting as requested, SIR! Geese last seen headed north from here. Stealth gulls still present, but stealth effect mitigated by constant, loud noises. No beavers near, unless stealth effect on. Any thing further, SIR?

(e-mail address, non-issue. spam, so far, ditto.)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 17, 1999.

Field Marshall Tricia: Thank you for the report. Nothing further at this time. You may stand down, or sit up, or lie down, or ...

We still need to hear from S.O.B. regarding Mother Goose and the southern squadron, as well as Ashton and Leska for the Cascadian Contingent.

-- Rob Michaels (, April 17, 1999.

Old Git,

I know what you mean. I got on the "Porno-Spam List From Hell" too. My husband hit the roof because he thought it was my 13 year-old son. Oh well, honesty has its price (and its rewards!).

-- Lois Knorr (, April 17, 1999.

Last night when we were posting, the format changed every few seconds until it settled where it is now. Somebody will have to eMail Phil and ask how to use a fake addy without it gumming up the works.

Yesterday in Cascadia we saw Canadian geese flying at close range, then landing in a wetland pond. It was 800. They didn't even glance North! There's just so much grass, water, flowers, seeds, nuts around here now -- living's good, why bother travelling? Do you think they've gotten as soft and complacent as the keyboard krouch fruitcakes? After that lllloooonnnggg cold wet winter, why not kick back and enjoy some lovely weather.

There are plenty of nutria swimming around in pleasant company with the geese & ducks. Have not seen any beavers but of course they're around, just not as bold as the nutria. Speaking of rodents, an article has come to our attention which poses an enormous threat to our underground, thruground, onground uncover operations.

Huge Hordes of Rats Infest DC

Sounds like a very good thing the Circus did not start at DC -- don't think we ought to go anywhere near there! How would the elephants react once the sun set?

Could say *a LOT* about that article; wonder if it creepies any of y'all? Uh, it is the hub of Fed goobermint.

xxxxxxxxx mmmmmmmmm xxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, April 17, 1999.

You guys, go to or or or -- almost anywhere I guess. You can get a FREE web email box. Use a different name to sign up. You will have to give THEM your real address but that isn't public. Then, use your web email address on your posts. This actually has three advantages: 1 - you can post without screwing up the system here and in other places; 2 - you have the option of email feedback which sometimes can be a very good thing; and 3 - you have the option, in most cases with web boxes, even of replying via that account -- still without giving your real (IP) address away. The advantage of a web email box is that you can have an address close to forever, so if you move, or change your dialup, your address doesn't change and people and old friends can still find you.

PJ in TX

-- PJ Gaenir (, April 17, 1999.

Sirest PJ of the TX area,

What 'tis the status of the fire ants with respect Y2K - they perhaps be non-compliant and thus unable to multiply next spring. (Adding is bad enough, but multiplying fire ants are terrible.)

Now, Sir Rob - are we up the task of emailing zinfindel over the Net? What about de-hydrated zinfendel - is that any easier? Did the red sock previously emailed to UPS to Fedex to the USPS for delivery to DHL for forwarding by Pony Express ever get to you? this might be an important clue as to the success of the proposed zinfendal-mail (zemail) process. Second, or third, or fourth, or whatever, we must determine what happens to ze (original) zemail when the original zemail is forwarded to multiple users? Does it become diluted, or concentrated? Can ze dehydrated zemail become more concentrated? How much postage does dehydrated water need?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 18, 1999.

I second, third , forth and fifth PJs suggestion about a public free e-mail address. Works for me.

Now, about that fifth of Zinfandel, Donna ... How about a cooling recipe for Zinfandel Fruitcake?

And while were waiting ...

... kick off Y2K and, set a spell for the FRL.


(P.S. No Stealth Geese seen in CA today, at least, looking out the window ... or in it ... around it ... under or through it ... hic)

-- Diane J. Squire (, April 18, 1999.

Where'd the other three glasses go? (Thought we had a fifth 'round here/there/whereever?) An' where'd the (hic) cork go? It flies off in a neat parabola - then vanishes.....Oh well - as long as the well ne'r runs dry (or sweet) and zemail works.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 18, 1999.

Better Robert? Just make it ... s'more ...

... (Perhaps the corks arent Y2K compliant?) Or are we complaining too much?


-- Diane J. Squire (, April 18, 1999.

Ooooooooo, What's this I see? Zinfendel? Zinmaildale? Zemail? Yummy. I'm thirsty too. Thanks Diane, Oh Great Seeress and Provider of The Bubbly. And now for a glass. Mmmmmmm.

Wow, dis tuff iz powrfllu. Hmmmm. I tink itz mus bee worry hikkkup conentwatd.

This winzenfel is guod. Hickup. Now I am knot as thirspee. Butt maybee I shud have sommore wany hay, just a bittle lit.

Wad the hick, I tinhk I willl goforit. I dontt shiv a git.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Dat iz tastepee. I wannna nothr sittle bip.

hickupup. Wad yu say? Not moo touch? Otay, juz onelas hickupupup glazss. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hichcupupupupup.

Mmmmmmmmmm. I peel a sittle leepy noww. Gud hickupupupupupup afterpooon and thaank goo.

-- Guez poo? (Weeeeeeeee@ wee.wee), April 18, 1999.

Uh, Rob,

Clearly you need to stockpile some California Wine along with your fruitcakes ... et. al.

Virtual Vinyards ...

Schlep well, this fine sun-daze after-nun!


-- Diane J. Squire (, April 18, 1999.

On general principle, we need to have limericks and haiku every few days for this to qualify as a fruitcake thread. Otherwise, it may turn into a fiat fruitcake thread - the end of Asylum!


"The time has come", she said,

"To worry about this thread

We're missing a few

(Where are you, Bardou?)

And now I've lost my head" ... (with thanks to Shel Silverstein)


Dear Uncle Deedah

Dehydrating beer teacher

Haiku instructor


See you in a couple of days :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 19, 1999.

We need to buy Rob a more active liver. OR light wines and light beers.

Pretty Hiacinths

Birthday's approach your Sweet Scent


....Hadda try at least once.


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 19, 1999.

" Huge Hordes of Rats Infest DC " ! ? !
Aw, that headline's too good to be true. (As in, what's news about that?)

The actual headline is "District Battles Legions Of Rats - Control Efforts Called Faulty". Almost as pleasing.   As a friend of rats, I'm honor-bound to keep up with such things...

-- Grrr (, April 19, 1999.

Announces what?? Chuck? (two syllables, please)

-- yup (, April 19, 1999.

Have we considered stealth racoons? I can attest to their stealthiness, California...they swoop down out of trees in urban areas and eat innocent koi fish in backyard ponds. I've found a decent, albeit temporary rememdy....human urine sprinkled around the pond...but I'll tell you we need to think about raccoons....They have their own stealth masks....

She on the hill, in her sheet, with two large koi left in the pond.

-- Donna Barthuley (, April 19, 1999.

...Announces haddock."

Obviously. After all, we haddock to replace the missing-mega-monsterous-mutated-mulatto gold fish lost to the flying (well swooping anyways) raccoons.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 19, 1999.

Robert, fish objected,...I am tenant-landlady...., I abhor the racoons assault on my pond..but admire their stamina....

I don't want to starve them.., just want to give them what they need, and have them/it leave my two large koi alone...btw...peeing, or pouring pee on the perimeter of ponds helps deter preditors... First hand experince last night with my trusty bottle.

-- Donna Barthuley (, April 19, 1999.

A theorectical question for assembled masses: Are the protected fishies bigg enough to "object" to the raccoons directly? That is, could one presume the 'coons could feed the fish, rather than face the prospect of the fish feeding the 'coons.

I will NOTdiscuss the bottle, the stuff in the bottle, whence it came, where it went, how big was the bottle, the accuracy or distribution of the dribbled remains, the dispostion of said bottle after said dribbling, whether or not the dribbler in question was caught by the referee dribbling and had to hand the ball (bottle ?) over the other team, what the fish thought about the dribbler or the dribbled bottle, the opinion o the 'coons in all the above or whether or not the flying squirrels opposed the fish-feeding by the coons or the coon-feeding by the fish.

No, I will NOT bring any of those things up in polite society in front of dear ladies running aboust the pond in their sheets waving thing unmentionable in polite society.

By the way, can you store fish in a hot tub - temporarily, of course?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 19, 1999.


Hot tub -- only if you plan to eat them real soon.

Donna redefines "au naturel."


-- Diane J. Squire (, April 20, 1999.

Psssst, Donna, you can be *paid* for doing that! and having other pppl do it. It's called nursing, and there's a shortage  ;^D

-- Leska (, April 20, 1999.

OK, FINE!! Missed it by 2 lousy sylables. Now I'll have to think. ( The key here is that the hyacinths here at Chaos Manor Mid-West, bloom pretty much right on time for my birthday (friday), and My Bride was at work last week and someone had a vase of them on their desk and she came home and said "Oh my gosh, is it your birthday already?"

And you can complete it with "my joy"

NYAAH! (Insert .wav of bronx cheer as per Bill the Cat THBBP!)


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 20, 1999.


Mrs Driver has suggested that, since we have a whistle cat to discourage from our tuns of tobs for a garden, I might ummmm, water the oats the "modified Old Way", errr, actually more like MISS the oats and hit the patio around the oats (tubs)to discourage him/her.

OH Hands in the back, Whistle Cat?? Haven't you ever heard a skunk prospecting for food in the garbage??? Damnedest whistle I've ever heard. Thought it was somebody on my back porch, opened teh door to get a better look, shone the flashlight through the screen door and suddenly remembered that the door was TRULY HALF SCREEN!!!! Closed inside door, checked floor, and then shorts. All clean!!! PHEW!!!


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 20, 1999.

FRLians, I assume you have noticed that I have MUTATED into the ultimate conversation terminator seed: I am the POLLYANNA DOOMER! That's right, a young life filled with too much management and not enough Dilbert has come to my rescue once again.

(You see what grafting can do to an innocent vegetable. Actually I am 14 different races genetically so I consider my psychotic psychology to be expected. It's really quite refreshing and I crack myself up sometimes.)

For only $9.95 (+s&h) I will send you my secrets to this truly invaluable approach to Y2K. I will waive that fee if you send me a frog or toad or innocent garden snake instead. I really like them and would like to get some for my kid.

Now, for a few lessons from PJ on the Proper Way to Deal With Y2K.

FELLOW FRLIANS! Is the prospect of utter annihilation getting you down? BE MOROSE NO MORE! My Geese and Countrymen, there is a way out of this polarity, out of this ranting and disagreement you see to your left, to your right, and driving you into darkness. Yay-ah I say, if you just follow me down this narrow path to enlightenment, I will show you the light.

An example of this new state of consciousness:

IT Geek: There isn't going to be enough food and water for people. There will be rioting and looting and crime and death and misery. You're going to be in the middle of all that.

PJ the Manager: That's a terrific challenge! We'll be a wonderful team and work together on this. You lead okay?

IT Geek: I am already leading the team. We're doomed. Doomed, I tell you.

PJ the PepSquadReject: It's these times in life that we have the fabulous opportunity to test our mettle, isn't that right?

IT Geek: Speaking of metal. The entire infrastructure is melting down literally and there will be only a pile of metal left. The government is going to come in and take over the business. You'll be fired.

PJ the Polly: Wow! And I was just thinking to myself how gosh golly, it was time to move on in my life. Would I ever have had this opportunity without this little problem?

IT Geek: By the way, I noticed on the way in that somebody smashed into your car. It could be fixable if you replace that big section in the middle.

PJ the Do-er: Well like I always say, hey I was planning to learn about rebuilding my entire life from scratch anyway! So this is nothing out of my way really.

IT Geek: Also did I mention that not only is the stuff you need and have put off buying still out of your financial reach this year, but it will be out of your reach for the next 40 years as well.

PJ the Practical: That's okay. I really didn't need that stuff anyway. I'll just put braille on the side of those garden plots, and I can dress myself in the venetian blinds. Wow, this problem has sure brought up a whole lot of great new ideas for me.

Now there used to be "Pollyanna's" who were sure it would be okay.

And then there were "Doomers" who were sure it would be terrible.


I thought you all would appreciate this novelty. You see? Who says a person can't hold two opposing points of view at once?

PJ in TX

-- PJ Gaenir (, April 20, 1999.

Hi, PJ, sounds like you've hit on a novel way to cope with angst - you should write the book ;-)

Me, I suffer not so much from angst as schizophrenia, living a normal life and thinking in (in order to prepare for) one quite different. There are days when I could have similar conversations, usually like now when I'm seriously sleep deprived. Guess I'll go hit the sack.

BTW, why not racoons and skunks? We should think about changing the name of the thread from fruitcake to zoo, though :-) The Yourdonkey Zoo has a nice ring to it, IMneverHO.

Good night

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 20, 1999.

Having watched a truly virtuoso performance this afternoon, I think our Research Fellow, may want to change the spelling of her name, give up on the softer Artemis side and just stick to Diana, Huntress. It seems to fit more and more.

Jes callin em as ah sees em again.

One of the rabbits caught in the headlights!!

-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 20, 1999.

Great save, Chuck. Knew you could do it.

-- yup (, April 20, 1999.

Uh, Chuck, how about Research Fella???

Don't feel particularly cheery just now after today's events. Could use some of the whiskey that used to go with the lethal, flaming fruitcakes.

Oh well. Tea's nice too.

Night all.



-- Diane J. Squire (, April 20, 1999.

Turn off the news. Thinking about the news lately and especially yesterday is depressing enough to make me want to just curl up in a corner. Of course this could be PMS. But the news is definitely not helping at ALL.

Wish I was a stealth goose.

PJ in TX

-- PJ Gaenir (, April 21, 1999.

PJ: Kinda breathtaking.

Now there used to be "Pollyanna's" who were sure it would be okay.
And then there were "Doomers" who were sure it would be terrible.

How about "terribly okay" ?

Let's geese the wheels of progress as we go...

-- Grrr (, April 21, 1999.

Well it's a dilemma.

I think it'll be terrible but it'll be okay 'cause I'm planning. That's my doomer-polly mode.

On the other hand it could be okay but I might think that's terrible 'cause I just figured out all the positive benefits that a bad Y2K might bring, if we ignore the small little detail of corpses. That's my polly-doomer mode.

I got carried away on the internet and now I have 2 hours to sleep. I'm going to go count Chuck's Stealth Geese until I snooze.

PJ in TX

-- PJ Gaenir (, April 22, 1999.

Jean's here today - in the infamous "Know Your Parents" stealth version of "Invade Your Work Day". Shell'll probably steal my logon too.....

-- Jean M. Cook, PP (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 22, 1999.

Okay here's something to get your minds going. Here is the ultimate in political-correctness. Nowadays spell checkers are more politically correct (ie; mailperson, policeperson,yada yada yada) so it got me to thinking. What's with huMAN!? There are women too, so naturally it would be huperson. But wait per!SON! OH NO. It must be, then, huperchild. But some say child sounds masculine. So the ultimate in political correctness is.........HUPEROFFSPRING

-- Jean M. Cook (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 22, 1999.

Jean, you are a huperoffspring to make a father, oops - parent, oops - huperent (or maybe maparent or pamarent) proud!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 23, 1999.

Because I hate to let a good thread die...


Common sense has to be

One of the least common things,

Cultivate it well.


There once was a Boy Scout named Joe

Who said, "I was told, don't you know,

That if I'm to be wise

And survive a surprise,

'Be prepared' must become my motto.


Have a good weekend, folks.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 24, 1999.

Unbeknownst to most people,

there was a fourth wise man.

But he brought a fruitcake

and was turned away.

...still lurking

-- Jay P. (, April 24, 1999.

Had a good weekend, thank you ma'am: got to tour a flying B-17 (impressive); drive Girl Scouts up to camp (so house was quiet and empty so wife and I got to ....) , and (finally) finished the appendices on the Masters project paper (present it on Tuesday morning - hope all goes well.)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 25, 1999.


Was that a B-17G? Nose art replica of "Nine O' Nine"?

I had the great pleasure of taking a one hour ride in that plane a few weeks back. Quite expensive, but worth every last red cent! Shake, rattle and roll! Yeah baby, yeah! Hell of a view out the bombardier's position, and oh so very, very LOUD!


-- Mr Deedah (, April 25, 1999.

Glad you had a good weekend, Robert, and best of luck with your presentation on Tuesday! I don't recall ever seeing a B-17, but have been up a few times in a Harvard. I love flying (as passenger):-)

Unc, what's the Mr. all about? Glad to hear you enjoyed your trip aloft, too.

Where's Sir Rob, anyone know?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 26, 1999.

Unc has become Mister in deference to Mr. Decker ;-} (TIC).

Glad to hear both of you like it loud!!

Good luck on the presentation Robert. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and it covers most of the scars.


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, April 26, 1999.

So many friends gone...

I'm missing Arnie Rimmer.

Rob, where did YOU go?

-- Gayla Dunbar (, April 27, 1999.


The discourse here has become unruly, petty, and on occasion, down right nasty. Following Mr Decker's cue, I am doing my part to increase the level of civility.


-- Mr Deedah (, April 27, 1999.

Dear Mr. Deedah, I've noticed the tendency of people here to get a bit hot under the collar and spew lava in their posts. About the only time I've gotten snarky is when I've seen that happen. However, it's gotten a bit much for me. Now I just drop in, read a few interesting looking threads and drop out. More and more of my favorite posters are stopping by less frequently - too busy gardening, is my guess. I'll be joining that crowd in a few weeks, when the danger of frost is past, here. 'Til then, it's always a pleasure to hear from you :-)

BTW, if you spot Rob, tell him that just 'cause the geese are North right now is no reason for the commander in chief to go AWOL - he could at least give an ETA for his return!


Beddy-bye for me

For you, day time and wake time

Have fun while I sleep :-)

-- Mrs. Tricia the Canuck (, April 27, 1999.

Danger of frost? T'was 85 on Sunday, cooled down to low sixties (that's in farenheit-sized degrees for you metrical types) - frost, what's frost?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 27, 1999.

Mrs. Tricia,

Yes, spring is a time for focusing off-line on what's important.


Ms. Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (, April 27, 1999.

Thanks, Diane, for the kind words.

Watch out, Robert, or you will single handedly cause the re-instatement of the Canuckian take-over plan! Mind, it was nice here Sunday, too, 24 degrees (76ish? for those who still think in old English), but some of your compatriots in Alaska decided to send us a reminder. Our high (if you can call it that) today was at midnight last night, 5.9 degrees (46ish?). Our expected low tonight, in town, is 0 (32) *sigh* At least it didn't clear at 6pm, like it threatened to do, if it had, we'd have lots of dead plants to clean up, again.

This time my good night is probably better timed for most of you, always excepting our good friends from down under :-) (did you catch Bob Barbour's post the other day? it's been a while...)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 28, 1999.

Well, Robert, I did warn you! Go take a look at this thread :

Gotta keep that jealousy thing down - no more boasting about how nice GA's weather is, ok?

How did your presentation go? Well, I hope!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 28, 1999.

Hey - I got 84 trees in the front yard, I don't NEED any more leaves (pine, maple, subdued, stealth ot otherwise) to rake up down here!

Presentation passed with good comments and (compliant) compliments from all reviewing and responsible. (Need one signature left on all the forms.) Yay! Whoop, whoop, yell, yell, clap, clap, ....

Ceremony is next Sunday (05/09)...

By the way, I will be in Houston on business all next week - Gayla. others that area email me if you want to go someplace for supper.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, April 29, 1999.


If I could, I'd break open another bottle of bubbly!

However, I don't know if I can stop that train. We read about somewhere that has decent weather in April and it gets us Canuckiuckians all excited. I'll try to distract them with news about somewhere with an even better climate, but you'd best man the ramparts just in case. Even Craig's gotten involved and you know how hard it was to call him off last time ;-)

Congrats again. I hope you enjoy your trip to the Big State.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 29, 1999.

Robert- email on the way! :-) Pack summer clothes!! It was 93 today.

-- Gayla Dunbar (, April 29, 1999.

Gayla, there's such a thing as TOO HOT! 93 in April?? What do you guys do in July? Maybe Edmonton isn't so bad, easier to do low tech heating than cooling ;-)

BTW, for those who don't want to load the FC1, I used that as an e to Rob and he replied :

"Hi Tricia. First of all, thank you so much for your concern. I have missed you also (and our usual FRLian goodnight rhymes) and my other FRLians friends too. It's been very hectic at my job with our Y2K deadlines coming up. This included some business travel too. With Spring here, I have also been doing some more outside projects around the house. Haven't done any posting in two weeks, and not even much lurking. It was a good coincidence that I got online and checked in this morning and saw the old thread active. Hope to be back contributing after all this work is done, which won't be too much longer. I'll post to the KYF II thread when I get back. Hope all is well with everyone, Rob."

So hopefully he'll be checking in again soon.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, April 30, 1999.

Okay, here I am

Talking to myself again :_(

Whistling in the dark ^o^

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 01, 1999.

UMmmm... Uhhhh....

Nah.. Earth girls are too easy. c

-- chuck, a Night Driver (, May 01, 1999.

Tricia, be cheered now,

you are not alone tonight,

sweet dreams while stars shine.

-- Rob Michaels (, May 01, 1999.

Chuck, I'm not sure I want to know what brought that on. *?*

Rob, as I said on your thread, Welcome back!

To all our other (missing) friends - hi, feel free to speak up, eh?


Now you're all aware I'm Canuckian,

I don't masquerade as Kentuckian,

But I'll also admit

If you press me a bit

I was really born Caracasian.


As Dieter would say

ThIS FOoliSHnEss mUSt enD NOw

So, 'Good night, my friends'

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 02, 1999.

Disconnected. Be back in about a week.

(Rob Micheals replies: "Has he ever been connected?")

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 02, 1999.


Sorry Tricia, that one flies ... like a lone stealth goose ... right over the top.

Robert, just be sure you don't come "unglued" in all that heat!



(Looks like rain in Silicon Valley today. Gotta run to an outdoor art show afore the droplets hit. Great day for a cozy latte! Ta!)

-- Diane J. Squire (, May 02, 1999.

Robert, it's cloudy today and cooler. It's a good time to come to Houston! This will be fun! :-)

Packing... shopping... packing... I'm SOOO excited! I'll miss this thread and all of the FRLians, though! I will try to post Monday night after dinner with Robert Cook P.E. :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, May 02, 1999.

Diane, I was born in Caracas, Venezuela. My family moved back to Canada when I was about 8 months old, so I only say Caracasian tongue in cheek.

Robert, have a wonderful time in Texas and enjoy your supper with Gayla!

Gayla, are you taking a trip to meet Robert, or are you headed somewhere else, too?

Diane, hope you enjoyed your art show.

Where's Leska? And Old Git? FRLians, unite!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 03, 1999.

Gayla and Robert, a toast to both of you

Meeting each other, friendships renew,

Tricia and I, all your FRLian pals,

Wish me could be with you, both the guys and the gals,

Have a great dinner, and come back here soon.


Tricia: Yeah, where is Leska? And also Chris and S.O.B. too?

-- Rob Michaels (, May 03, 1999.

Hi Rob & Tricia & Diane & all FRLians!
Robert & Gayla, sounds like fun, nothing like Forum curiosity. Who are we all!?

Well, we had a @ week-long job 24/7 with a brain cancer patient, and knew it would be involved, so *gasp* we did not bring the iMac! First time since August been without it *sob* but had to prove to ourselves we're not addicted, ahem. Upon returning home Ashton hoarded the computer while I've been itchin & twitchin to see how y'all are doing + thinking. The enforced separation about drove me nuts but did get me caught up on a bunch of necessary biz boring paperwork. And now -- guilt free computer time! WheeHee!

Didn't see any ducks, geese, beavers, or nutria. Was near a beautiful clear rushing river yet critterless. But the ppl acted oddly, and we haven't even tried to figure it out. Very few ppl now seem to be acting in a pure, forthright, 'normal' manner. Something peculiar is in the air, but we're too busy trying to survive to analyze it.

Any fellow FRLians have a clue to current weeple behavior trends?

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 03, 1999.

Weee Heeee is right Leska!!!! Let's party!

I was off the forum for a couple weeks myself due to my job and business traveling - yuck. Didn't have the puter part of the time and proved to myself, well, nothing :( Regarding the current weeple beehiver twends, I think it's related to the time of year. Spring has spounged! HA ha HA ha Weeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm feeling a little thirsty tonight.

-- Rob Michaels (, May 03, 1999.

uh oh, Rob, sounds like you're teetering towards the stalled circus in search of jiggle juice ;^) We're gonna doob boob at the toob and watch Dilbert tackle Y2K now. Haven't ever seen the show, but gotta keep up with the Forum joes. Hhhmmm, boxing kangaroos? Can see a use for that coming up, especially with pouches. Should we ask Leo?

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 03, 1999.

Ashton and Leska: Enjoy the Dilbert. Dear Mrs. Michaels just called me over to let me know that she saw a Y2K commerical - maybe it was on the same network. BTW, Leo is definately the right one to ask about that.

Night all, BFN, Rob.

-- Rob Michaels (, May 03, 1999.

I gotta tell you guys, Robert is just as humorous in "real life" as he is on this forum! :-) We talked for about 3 hours, I think, (although Steve messed up our dinner by working late) and I probably laughed 60 minutes of that time. You know he's intelligent by reading what he says here, but talking to him is fascinating!!!! I wish I could have spent a week "picking his brain." :-) He will be back on the forum before I am (Tricia- we're going on a 3 week vacation!) and you guys need to ask him about tearing his pants on a screw. hee hee! (And he didn't even have any DUCT tape!) Another thing to ask him about: a "Properly Pessimistic Preppie." :-) Anyway, it was a LOT of fun!

Welcome back to the "lost" FRLians. I'm glad you're back, since I'm leaving. Someone needs to watch out for Tricia so she won't have to talk to herself. :-) BYE!!

-- Gayla Dunbar (, May 04, 1999.

Hi, Leska, Ashton, Rob, Gayla and Diane. Nice to see you all again. I can't stay long (sleepy time - alpha flu already striking, I'm just cleaming up ,mostlly).

Have a good vacation, Gayla! Come back nice and relaxed ;-)

Glad to see you again, Leska. Unless it's waht Rob said about Spruing, i don't knwo why pepole are odd. Mostr seeem odd to me all the tme anyeway.



Scattered far and wide by jobs

Meeting here again.


One of these days, I'll have to do a haikeu in Texan - about half the workds.

Did you see the thread on OK? I'm gonna take the time ofr some prayer for our friends there berfore sleep/. GOod night.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 04, 1999.

Friends they come and friends they go,

we wonder why some do not show,

Donna, Chris, and S.O.B,

where are youz guyz, tell us please,

FRLians would like to know.


For you dear Tricia, Loyal FRLian, this Haiku:

Gentle Spring breezes

whisper through the starlit trees,

happily we rest.


Gayla: Have a great vacation.

Robert: Now don't you go missing on us too, Good Sir!

-- Rob Michaels (, May 04, 1999.

Thanks for the haiku, Rob. I'll answer in the morning if I'm not too tired - just off to work,now. Any word from Linda (newbie)?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 05, 1999.

Friends no longer come to play,

Busy in gardens throughout the day,

And when it's night,

And play they might,

They read what others have to say ;-)

(except those who are working day and night, or are away, like Rob and Robert - look forward to seeing you soon)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 06, 1999.

Happy Mother's Day, to all the mothers here :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 09, 1999.

Next time you get an urge -- anybody -- maybe the Know Your Fruitcake, the third thread should be started, this one is getting awfully long. :-)

PJ in TX

-- PJ Gaenir (, May 09, 1999.

Happy Mother's Day, 2 Mom's 2!!!

May all your cakes be sans fruits today.


-- Diane J. Squire (, May 09, 1999.

we haven't any idea how long it is as SOBob, the Enumerator in Chief hasn't even deigned to visit. And I KNOW I left a forewarding address....


-- chuck, a Night Driver (, May 09, 1999.

Tricia-I'm here. Been working with the Red Cross since last Monday's killer tornados. I've been putting in long hours and only this weekend have had time to catch up on threads. This Fruitcake thread is always a must-read. And 'tho I don't post on this thread often I always read it and marvel at the poetic talents of all of you. Be safe and be sure to tell your family that you love them. There's more to life than our possessions. Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, May 10, 1999.

Home again - but sent the Gayla D's packing towards North CA, up thru the woods towards Vancouver (-1 sp) and environs north. Thank you for the thoughts - yes, I did get "screwed" in the britches whilest in the midst of one of the many presentations and and sessions in Houston.

No duct tape, no ironing tape either - darn it - Hmmmn - maybe darning would have worked, damning sure didn' the way, Houston apparently builds people sideways - they had many trousers measuring 34x32, 34x30, 36x32, 38x30, etc on the racks; but none in the regular department stores that were the right order : 32x43 or 31x34. Drat and da'gunit all. We survived all we surveyed despite the problems, (and the audience surveyed more than it expected for a while.)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 10, 1999.

Heeheeeheeeheeeheee! Just a preview lesson to always carry and wear our Duct Tape identifying patches! Undercover Yourdynamite identification. Welcome Linda and back Robert :-) Hope you are getting long deep sleep, Tricia. Every once & a while old regulars will pop back for a post, and it's great!

Bet we'll all converge with our fruitcake stores roundabouts here when the evidence can no longer be covered & contained ...

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (, May 10, 1999.

Hi, Linda, so glad you're safe! I did read your note on the other thread after posting here, but I didn't want to start in there. I really admire you for your work with the Red Cross. OKC will be a long time getting back to normal, even with out Y2K. We haven't had any more news from your area since the tornados, so if you feel like unloading, you can e me any time.

Robert, I'm glad you enjoyed your trip to Texas, and got to show off, too ;-) What was that bit about Properly Pessimistic Preparations - any relation to the screw and lack of duct tape?

We had the in-laws here for the weekend and it's getting close to the time when we can put garden in. I need to roto-til, but it's been very wet any time that I could do it *sigh*. Any way, I'll likely pop in now and then, but computer time is going to be at a premium (especially if it ever stops raining!).


Monday morning, full of cheer,

We group our thoughts and gather here,

Encouraging preps

By taking steps

To get us through the year.

(Just for you, Linda :-) The last thing you should ever do is admire my poetry, you're likely to inundated.)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 10, 1999.

Tricia: I typed up a response but it went off into the cosmos somewhere so this is my second effort. I can tell you that it was much wittier (now that it's past my bedtime and I've turned into a pumpkin, THAT'S an understatement!) It's always nice to be appreciated. (and thanks! for the poem-keep 'em coming.) I e'd you with stuff I didn't want to put on this post. Linda-off to dream (hopefully) of sweetness and wholeness instead of tornado damage.

-- newbiebutnodummy (, May 10, 1999.


Make sure that you have gone through the ARC defusing/demobilisation briefing from the affected areas. NAD READ THE IDIOT PAPER they gave you. If, on the other hand, they DIDN'T give you some documents on possible/probable responses to what you have done, e me direct at the address below and we'll chat. I would be surprised if they didn't give you something, but, as a 15 year vol with them, I KNOW that sometimes we forget, and "this CISD thing is so NEW...."

Chuck Who with his bride is trained as a peer debriefer, defuser, etc per the Mitchel Model.

-- chuck, a Night Driver (, May 11, 1999.

Thanks for your response, Linda. I hope you take Chuck up on his offer, sounds like he has more experience helping those who help than I do. That said, I'm always willing to be a listening ear, any time.


Don't worry, we're told

Just prepare as for a storm.

For devastation??

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 11, 1999.

Stopped by to say Hi.

Miss you, fellow FRLians.

Rhymes and limericks.

-- Rob Michaels (, May 11, 1999.

Rob, we miss you, too. How much longer will you be working 16 hr days? Traditionally, garden planting occurs the third weekend in May at this lattitude; my net time may be sharply curtailed very soon ;-)


Frequently scattered by jobs,

Trips and vacations


Harvest in autumn

Perhaps we'll gather again

A looongg time to wait :-(


To all the ex-regulars who only lurk occasionally, now - have a good spring&summer! Drop us a note now and then, would be nice.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 12, 1999.


Haiku-ish? ...


Rarely write haiku,

confusing words,

on blank paper.


My favorite poems are Chinese translations by Kenneth Rexroth ...




The river is smooth and calm this evening.

The spring flowers bloom.

The moon floats on the current.

The tide carries the stars.

-- The Emperor Yang of Sui


May your inner, and outer, gardens grow well, this year ... and next.


-- Diane J. Squire (, May 12, 1999.

Miss Diane, you'd don't add to your world-record leading forum count by putting lines between entries in the same message. Ya gotta send new messages to keep that count rate up! (BTW, your just about guarranteed a spot in the Baseball Hall of Fame with 3000 hits, what award is proper for 3000 entries here?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 12, 1999.


Maybe 3000 tomorrow ... whenever.

Latte time!

Come'on kimosabe ... quit wearing that "tu-tu" ... and take over with a "won-won."

Or is that a won-ton? (It's lunch time tu). Ta!



-- Diane J. Squire (, May 12, 1999.

Diane obviously wants a latte for her record. Unfortunately, I don't do fancy stuff, and don't know where to find one for her. So I'll just lift my decaf in a toast - 'Here's to Diane, long may she post!'

If SOBob is out there, where in Canuckiana are you coming to? If it's anywhere near Edmonton, e me and we can try to meet for supper, or even just coffee. All these planned meetings are leaving me in the cold ;-( I looked into the possibility of Texas, but too many other things to spend money on right now. Hope y'all have fun down there.

Texan Haiku :

Whe-en it's ti-ime we

Go to Fort Worth to me-et

And ha-ave fu-un.


Love those drawls! :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck` (, May 12, 1999.

Field trip planned today ... if all goes according to plan (!) ... back up to visit the Real Goods Solar Demonstration center.



-- Diane J. Squire (, May 13, 1999.

Love and hugs to all FRLians (((((Lovely Ones)))))). It's been a heck of a month, computer problems, brief and intermittant reactive psychoses. I'm NOT tense,...just terribly, terribly alert!

Donna, the besheeted, one of the musicians, one of the mourners.

-- Donna (, May 13, 1999.

in eMail Newsletter this morning:

Computer Prayer

Every evening
As I'm laying here in bed
This tiny little prayer
Keeps running through my head

God bless my mom and dad
And bless my little pup
And look out for my brother
When things aren't looking up

And God, there's one more thing
I wish that you could do
Hope you don't mind me asking
But please bless my computer too??

Now I know that's not normal
To bless a mother board
But just listen a second
While I explain to you, my Lord

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds & ends
Inside those small compartments
Rest hundreds of my 'BEST FRIENDS'

Some it's true I've never seen
And most I've never met
We've never exchanged hugs
Or shared a meal as yet....

I know for sure they like me
By the kindness that they give
And this little scrap of metal
Is how I travel to where they live

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you
I share in what life brings them
From that our friendship grew

"PLEASE" take an extra minute
From your duties up above
To bless this scrap of metal
That's filled with so much love!


-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 13, 1999.

Ashton and Leska

What a sweet poem! It expresses my sentiments exactly. Several of you have been kind enough to listen to my 'post-tornado' ramblings and for that I'm very grateful. So I add my thanks to God for all of you. A fella fruitcake (or is that fruitcake lover?) Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, May 13, 1999.

Better to bless the links found through that "hunk of metal" my dear ma'am; better still to bless those to whom we are linked through that inanimate hunk of metal.

Miss Gayla D. and family will up through Cascadia shortly from North CA regions via Mt St Helens and environs, hope she can catch you while in route.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 13, 1999.

Ashton and Leska,..I love the significant other, the errant Mr. Keyes, likes to change operating systems every month or so, as the spirit moves. Needless to say, not losing addresses has become a mania for me. This last change, for some reason, I can not import the old address book into my new Netscape. I'll figure it out dang it, but for now the stupid thing keeps saying "Cannot import file"....

FRL research fellows please note: I've stumbled upon what I think may be useful phenomenon in my backyard...Springtime in California,...the finches are flying and feeding about my pond...I'm there testing fruitcake trajectory figures with my catapult....lo, and behold,...finches feed on fruitcake fodder...finches freely frolic fast upon feeding on fruitcake fodder, finches feistily fight as they frolic...

One word. Finches.

Can the bird folks verify this stuff?

-- Donna (, May 13, 1999.

Shoot, that was actually 16 words, but I'll let SOBob recount....

Now, seems to me that the implication of "finches" implies two words, (or at least two or more boids) - thus implicating multiple counts are needed.

So, also noting (are the boids in question and under observation in tune? if so, which tune?) one would need to determine if fast finches are truly fasting if they are eating fruitcakes? Are they (after eating fruitcakes) actually slower rather than faster?

Or, are they, after eating fruticakes, going after more fruticakes faster - in which case, are they going after fruticakes or going before fruitcakes? If they are going for fruitckaes faster, are they arriving before the fruitcakes arrives - thus implying a relativistic streak - which would be truly very fast - but then they would be hungry becuase they are very fast and incapable of becoming faster - this of course brings to mind rule of the speed of fasting limit - how fast can a fasting fruitcake finch fast if a fruitcake finch fasts faster?

Having previously studied the behaivor of other boids under fruited conditons - flying while intoxicated I believe is the term - after eating/imbibing on fermented fruit - one could also analyze the frequency of falling found by following flying finches flying faster while fasting on fruitcakes flavored with fountains of fermented fruit juices .....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 13, 1999.

Wow, did I understand Robert right? Not the finch aria, but the Gayla area?! She's coming through Cascadia soon from Northern California? We would love to meet her! Haven't heard from Gayla, is she carting a laptop? Can she catch us without eMail? I can't even check in every day!

We're doing a 24/7 hospice case now, a Buddhist nun, very different type of situation, and, um, when it is over is up to the Lord. If we know @ 48 hours ahead of time when Gayla will be passing thru, if it comes before passover, we can probably arrange for coverage so we can visit! Otherwise we'd have to meet at the bedside, and it's getting close -- wouldn't want Gayla to pass out ;^)

Linda, fine jolly good fella fruitcake, your post-tornado reports have been very welcome and instructive. Nothing as core learning as direct experience. Thank you for posting about it, and please don't feel shy about posting more. The effects of such a historic disaster will be long-term.

Donna, you have to get your very own computer! Hint: iMac! or the new laptop coming soon. Then *you* will be operating the system.
Glad some of you liked the poem; it came in a church group eMail newsletter where there was also a very interesting report from a person who experienced the tornado. Computers have made it easy and possible to fellowship with like-minded souls and feel at-home with cyber friends. Wonderful! Kick that darn Y2K; kick it right out of orbit; smash it to smithereens. Y2Kreep.

Brain has turned to mush, current case presenting challenges we've never encountered, think I've flunked some tests that came at us from "different" angles all at once, but have been trying to do my best in strange circumstances. Gonna stop before repeating foot in mouth syndrome ;^P

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

-- Leska (, May 14, 1999.

Wow, Donna's back! I was just missing her and here she is. (((Donna)))

I like your poem, too, Leska. God's blessings have got more than one of my empty vehicles safely to a gas station and prevented a blowout on a highway, in the rain, when the tire popped going out the driveway the next day. Robert has a point about blessing the folk, but it's not as if we are limited in asking blessings, let's bless both folk and the way folk talk.

Oh, dear, I'm preaching - sorry!

BTW, I'm trying to get things in motion (again) to get to Renton to visit my aunt. There are job, family and prep issues to deal with - I'll update you if I can actually make it out that way. Unfortunately, it isn't likely to be real soon, so even if you do get to see Gayla, we won't be able to stage a Yourdonite reunion NW with her :-( I'd dearly love to hear her Texan drawl ;-)

It's raining again

Others get April showers

We get them in May.


Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

In pots on shelves and 'cause only elves grow veggies in the snow!


My Yourdon friends are here again

(Despite my poetry),

We'll debate a thread or ten,

And agree to disagree ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 14, 1999.

FRL Fruitcake Alert:

Today marks my over 3,000 posts marker. This post is #3002.


Time for a latte ... a sunshine walk ... and scattering birdseed for the ... fervently flying finches frolicking free-floatingly forever faster.

*Sighingly Sipping*


-- Diane J. Squire (, May 14, 1999.

Diane: Congratulations, Oh Great Seeress, Loyal FRLian, Most Frequent Forum Poster, Shatterer of Records, Master of the Link (and even bold and italics :), First through the Great Three Thousand Barrier, and Dear Friend.

As leader of this here FRL, and on behalf of my fellow FRLians, or on befull instead of behalf, or perhaps between or betwixt, We salute you, in all your wonderful Dianeness. God Bless.

-- Rob Michaels (, May 14, 1999.

Hear Hear! See See! Count Count! WheeHeee! Now Diane, just ask Ed to eMail you all your posts in chronological order so you have a record ;^D
CONGRATS to the Forum Sherlockian Huntress who has indeed accomplished her mission of raising consciousness and bringing Community Prep focus to the Yourdynamite Melee.
A happy fruitcake toast to our Link Whiz!

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 14, 1999.

Hi Ashton and Leska. That was one heck of a post - that computer prayer. I motion that the Bored entertain adopting it as our Official FRLian Prayer.

Will someone second this motion?

And now for a toast. (Don't need a whole lot of encouragement now do I :) That bubbly is still here. I know cause I saw it. Mmmmmmmm. Still tastee. Uh oh. Is that Dear Mrs. Michaels calling? One quick glass. MMMMMMmmmmmm. Dats goood. Now I bitter goo befor I get in twouble with Mear Drs. Michaless hicupup. HAhahahaha hickcuop.

-- WWWWEeeeeeeeeee (sunofdustt@nom.cet), May 14, 1999.

Now y'all *did* catch that we did not write that prayer poem but simply copied it for your enjoyment from an eMail Newsletter? And the thought of God blessing the hardware brought a wry smile because God will have to help behind the scenes if Y2K remediation is to proceed apace enough to forestall mega-disruptions.

We feel God has blessed us FRLians with such unique, good, interesting, helpful, colorful friends! and a place to go when our prep orientation is jostled by an oblivious snooting DWGI mass-slant. We actually do thank God regularly for this cyber sanctuary of open eyes, hearts, minds, and (un)common sense.

Cheers to our Fruitcake freedoms! Here we carry on the burning drive for liberty and expression which founded the New Dream. Here that extends to encompass all from every corner, bump and crevice of the globe. And maybe some lurking ETs too ;^)

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx x

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 15, 1999.

Congrats, Diane!


Three thousand times here,

the huntress, we hold so dear,

made opinions clear.


In celebration, perhaps we ought to start a new thread. Rob - over to you, oh chief FRLian, Bringer-of-Laughter, and Easy-Under-the-Table-One.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 15, 1999.

Oh, dear. It must be the weekend, I'm reduced to talking to myself again :-(

BTW, for those who care, I have it on good authority that duct tape is a great fix for rain pants' knees. Make sure you have enough ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 17, 1999.

Where did the [Submit Answer Button] go? Oh - up a few feet in the thread... How did it get there?

Dang Rob - you been pushing that thing around while hiccupping again? Anyway, we have been asked to get together in Marietta at the Big Chicken next Sunday afternoon....and perhaps again at other places in the future......

Any word from the Gayla D's?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 17, 1999.

Robert, you too?? Now I really feel left out. What do you say, Craig, Laurane, are you game for an Alberta Yourdonite get together? While I'm at it, did either of you get to Calgary to see Mr. Yourdon last week? I had hoped to go but was fighting a really miserable cold and wasn't up to it. If we give Brian enough notice, he might even be able to join us (to return to the original subject).

I've not seen any Gayla spoor since her post after meeting with you, Robert. Maybe she's on an 'internet fast' until after her holidays ;-)

Off to work soon. Enjoy your evenings!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 17, 1999.

So, I see that there are a couple of youz guyz that are starting to make sounds about a new thread. Heck, this is nothing compared to the 600 or so answers that were on the first thread. Come to think of it we don't rightly know how many answers there are on this here thread now do we. Sure miss S.O.B., nobody else can count like him.

Didn't Gayla say something about being offline for a while?

Thinks at work are still crazy, but at least I have had some time here and there to pop in. It doesn't look like I'll be around much. Thought I would be mostly done by now but they just gave me lots more stuff. Serves me right for doing something right (by mistake, naturally). Oh well. Hope to pop in again sooner rather than later. Keep well fellow FRLians.

Long Live The FRL!!!!

-- Rob Michaels (, May 17, 1999.

You couldn't be doing something right - I thought you were left handed! Or was it the other evil twin the one who is mirror-imaged? You know, the one you were talking to the other day....teh one left out in the garage with the exploding 7-11's from PJ....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 17, 1999.

Haven't heard a peep from Gayla. She must be way past the volcano by now :-(

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 18, 1999.

Just a quick "hi."

PBL -- Posting Before Latte. ;-(

Oughta' haf learned by now! (Gotta' rev up 1st).


(BTW, I have a "squirrley" NS Browser freezing at the oddest times, even on Y threads and half-loaded web pages, so if I disapper for awhile it's because I'll be hafink to do a HD reformat. ;-( Bummer. Trying to hold it together with spit and chewing gum until later Thursday! We'll see if it works ... or not. Unfortunately, it makes me internet research handicapped at the mo ... major bummer ... can't even take a look at the Navel War College thingy. Sob ... sniffle, sniffle. Ta).

-- Diane J. Squire (, May 18, 1999.

Diane: Remember our last conversation a couple days ago? Well, all I can say is your puter has a lousy sense of timimg!!!! Check and see. :)

-- Rob Michaels (, May 18, 1999.

Since SOBob refuses to come out of hiding, I decided to do a count. Gayla posted answer #100 on April 27th, Robert (the non-) Cook did #150 on May 13th and if Rob Michaels May 18th post is the one just above mine, this is posting #169. All numbers come with money back guarantee, but no other kind ;-)


Fascinating threads

At Yourdons forum abound

Reading takes all night!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 19, 1999.

Hello, I'm new, but have been watching over my mom's shoulder ever since she became obsessed. I just felt like writing to say hello.

Yourdon's neato board

Calls to my mom every day

From the computer

-- home from school (no@address.foryou), May 19, 1999.

home from school,

Welcome to the fruitcake resistance league. (We don't risist 'em!)


Check your "e" in the a.m. -- still plugging away a the project.



-- Diane J. Squire (, May 19, 1999.

Diane :)

home from school - Welcome to you, our Newest FRLian, Reader of Books, and Surfer of the Net. Long live our Fruitcake Freedoms!

This is where we like to rhyme,

we can do it any time,

just for fun,

until we're done,

then back to school ourselves we find!

-- Rob Michaels (, May 20, 1999.

Let's see here...Ah ha!

Lots of people here

Welcome all who hear

Of this thread

And write instead

Of never coming near

Well, I haven't done it before. I'm new at poems.

-- home from school (no@address.foryou), May 20, 1999.

Home from school, oh dear

Almost a limerick, so near,

So much safer, by the way,

So much better, most will say,

But don't tell your "mom", till all is clear.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 20, 1999.

Hi, Robert! I think that's the first poem I remember you writing.


There once was a child named Home

Who came to this thread with aplomb

She tried to write rhyme

But may have run out of time

But she did better than this bomb!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 20, 1999.

Using bits and bytes,

while striding across

the electronic moor,

we write.


(It's too late in the day to count sylables!)

-- Chuck, a night driver (, May 21, 1999.

Chuck, I think you ran into the night workers usual problem of 'should that be too late or too early?' (I know it well).

I saw a formation of stealth geese yesterday. Well, I assume that the two geese I saw were in formation with the others I couldn't see; it's odd to see just two geese flying in formation.

It's very doubtful that I'll be checking in this weekend, one way or another, I'll probably be going through computer withdrawl *sigh*.


I'll miss you, my friends,

I hope you have lots of fun

meeting in Texas!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 21, 1999.

Hi Tricia. Looks like a lot of us will be taking a Spring Break from the Forum this weekend. Have a great weekend and ketchup, er, I mean catch up, or catch down, or catch sideways, or - Oh well, enjoy your time outside of the Asylum. Talk to you soon, and don't take any wooden fruitcakes!

p.s. Do stealth geese drop uh, well, you know... stealth droppings?

-- Rob Michaels (, May 21, 1999.

Couldn't find that darn [Contribute and Answer] button again - where'd you hide it Rob? take it on vacation with you, eh?

Not to point anything out here,, but "spring" vacation is considered to be taken in the "spring" - that is somewhere beween MArch 01 and April 15 or so. Anything later or earlier - since we have nightriders here who can't tell if they are too early or too late! - and cannot be truly considered "Spring" vacation.....

Now, now M'dear Tricia the C, I've poeted before, in the original thread, fore example, I had a limerick written in haiku (ha chew!) (Bless you!) format to tell some one how to write a ha chew. A few others too, not many.

Now, more poeting (and petting) would require additional adult beverages o fthe dried type, and those seem to disappear two quickly whence the Rob is around......

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 21, 1999.

Robert, Good Sir: I want you to know that I resemble that! And just 'cause ya returned my really bright red socks to me doesn't mean you can cast dispersions on my character :)

BTW, do you know anything about them there stealth droppings?

-- Rob Michaels (, May 21, 1999.

Donno Robert... I'm springin' around right now! (Any time is the right time!)

Rob, after you've dispersed, do bring yourself back again!


Diane (boing... boing... boing. Gone).

-- Diane J. Squire (, May 21, 1999.

Ya know - I looked for them there stealth droppings, but couldn't see any......

Miss Diane is now so dear,

But the tigger bit 'er I fear,

All relieved of the stress of the report

She went looking for more wine and red port

But ended up bouncing around with Sir Rob's beer...

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 21, 1999.

Beer? Did someone say Beer? ...only kidding :)

For you, Diane, this Haiku:

Showers and latte,

Moon reflecting on the lake,

Restful, peaceful, sleep.

Tricia: Thank you for taking the time to do a count. I think we will probably need to go to a new thread soon as some have already suggested.

-- Rob Michaels (, May 21, 1999.

#189 (I think? - Of course you are, my bright little star...)

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. It was Victoria day weekend in Canada. Traditionally the time for putting in gardens. Mine is still not rototilled *sigh, sigh*. However it hasn't rained now for three whole days, maybe _this_ coming weekend...

Robert, my humble apollogies for having forgotten your limerick haiku. I see your poetic muse has struck again ;-)

Rob, stealth droppings are likely the kind that only become visible when you step in them and wonder how on earth you didn't see them before. If you haven't had this experience, you need to spend some time on a ranch, in spring! *&* (that's me holding my nose, BTW)


Friends, I have missed you

Laughter, fun, help and support

Keeps me coming back

-- Tricia the Canuck (, May 26, 1999.

Hi Tricia. Welcome back Dear and Loyal FRLian. For you:

Sing a happy song,

walking through the fields of gold,

waving in the breeze.

(Uh, just watch out for them there stealth droppings, and thanks for the definitive explanation. I knew I could count on, or with, or in, or under, or over, or something...anyway, thanks!)

-- Rob Michaels (, May 26, 1999.

Look! Quick!

The random-positioning-stealth [Contribute an Answer] button is back at the bottom of the page. Grab it while you can.

Of course, it might submit everyting to the missing "Judy" user files - but then again, at least she won't be stepping in, under, across, through, or over the mis-directed stealth messages anymore.....8<)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 26, 1999.

Careful here Robert. Don't let the cat out of the bag, or on top of the bag, or inside the bag, or even outside the bag. Stealth is Stealth, after all, or before all, or somewhere around most or many but not quite all, or...

-- Rob Michaels (, May 26, 1999.

Hello fellow FRLians!!! I'm baaaaaaaack!! :-) This feels really strange after 3 weeks! Looks like I missed a lot of good stuff. I didn't even hear about the 60 minutes show. I'll have to read the transcript and see what all the excitement is about.

We had an AWESOME time! I kept looking for one of those "Internet Cafe" places that Diane talks about, so I could check in, but most of the time we were in National Parks, and they don't have them. I should have found out where everyone lives before I left. Tricia, you are in the Edmonton area? I had no idea that we would come as close to you as we did. When we were in Jasper and Banff National Parks, we weren't that far away from you. (My husband and I both thought that Edmonton was much further north than it actually is.)

As we drove through Oregon, I thought about you, Leska, and wondered where you lived. We spent the night in Medford, after driving up to see Crater Lake. It was awesome! They have had 196 inches of snow, but the lake was NOT frozen! It almost never freezes. The last time it did was in 1949! We then traveled up I-5 to see Mount St. Helens. Oregon is VERY green and lush. It was beautiful! We also spent time at the State Capitol in Salem, and Washington Park in Portland.

We drove 5,700 miles AFTER flying into San Francisco. In addition to the other parks mentioned, we also visited Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park in Utah. We spent 3 days in Yosemite National Park and climbed to the TOP of Yosemite Falls!! Anyone who has accomplished that task knows how strenuous the hike is!! :-)

The vacation was very refreshing! I'm SO glad we got the chance to go. Robert, did Jean get the post card I sent her from Canada? And what is with the "Judy" reference you made? What did I miss? Glad to see you back Rob! Your inebriated posts always make me chuckle, and I enjoy the haiku and poetry. Good to be back home.... I have tomatoes and cucumbers in abundance! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, May 26, 1999.

Gayla~! You little scamp, you drove right past us *sob* ;_(
For 6 years we lived right near Washington Park. We coulda showed ya round the cool secret parks of beauty here. Howz the volcano? Awesome devastation, eh? Prepare as if for -- hehe, if you've seen it ...

Yes, Cascadia is gorgeous, lush, green, amazing. Awful in Winter though.
Tricia, we'll do the CD post soon on that thread ...

FRLian friends fly by

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, May 26, 1999.

Quick link... moving again...

OT - Fruitcake III 000sez

-- Diane J. Squire (, May 28, 1999.


-- . (.@...), May 28, 1999.


-- . (
.@...), May 28, 1999.

-- . (
.@...), May 28, 1999.

Seems our little ...@... poster was trying to send us to Playboy and Hustler, but doesn't know quite how to make hotlinks. Looks like school is out. Oh joy! ;-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, May 28, 1999.

Hmmmm - looked like Morse code to me. Somebody ought to tell him that its quicker to use a modem to send dits and dots and dashes.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (, May 30, 1999.

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