WhO Is HE???? HuH???? DOn'T LooK HeRe fOr ANSweRs!!!!!

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James Thurber:

"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time."


Wilson Mizner:

"A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "



"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.


Samuel Butler:

"Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well."


Albert Einstein:

"Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."



"Fools rush in where fools have been before."


Mae West:

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."


Mark Twain:

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."



"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."


Richard P. Feynman:

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool."


Dale Carnegie:

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do."


Baltasar Gracian:

"A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends."


Moe Howard:

"Only fools are positive."


Bertrand Russell:

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."


E. F. Schumacher:

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."


Solomon Short:

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."


Charles de Montesquieu:

"An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations."


Heinrich Heine:

"There are more fools in the world than there are people."


Robert Benchley:

"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony."


Robert Morley:

"Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself upon the public."



"Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it."



"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."


Josh Billings:

"The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way."


James Oppenheim:

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet."


Alexander Pope:

"Fools admire, but men of sense approve."


Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."


Sir Richard Steele:

"Whenever you commend, add your reasons for doing so; it is this which distinguishes the approbation of a man of sense from the flattery of sycophants and admiration of fools."


George S. Patton:

"Don't be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonofabitch die for his."



"Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference."



"Never give advice... A wise man won't need it A fool won't heed it."


Lord Byron:

"I'll publish right or wrong. Fools are my theme, let satire be my song."

----- Winston Churchill:

"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."


William of Baskerville, The Name of the Rose:

"So, rather than appear foolish afterward, I renounce seeming clever now."

----- William Cowper, Conversation:

"'Tis hard if all is false that I advance A fool must now and then be right, by chance."


Chinese proverb:

"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."


Wilson Mizner:

"A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions."

----- Bertrand Russell:

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."


Carl Jung:

"If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool."


Anatole France:

"If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."


Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless:

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."



"iF YoU HAve ReaD ThiS FAr eXPEctINg An anSWer, yOu ArE A FOoL!!!!!!


APriL FOoLs!!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999


AM i nOt a hANDsoME DEviL??????

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

I'm sold. Happy 1999-04-01 DiETer! <:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), April 01, 1999.

Whoopie. Dieter owns a "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations." BFD

-- Pearlie Sweetcake (storestuff@home.now), April 01, 1999.

Thank you.......I needed a good laugh and enjoyed the quotes! Kristi

-- Kristi (securx@Succeed.Net), April 01, 1999.

"A fool eats one mint too many."

-Mr. Creosote

-- Mr. Creosote (jellydon@lard.fat), April 01, 1999.

And the famous "Dieter Award" for split personalities goes to Dieter and..well the other half must accept the award..sorry Dieter.

-- Mike Lang (webflier@erols.com), April 01, 1999.

Yeah, will the REAL DiETeR please stand up??

And thank you SO much for posting the quotes NOrMaLLy! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), April 01, 1999.

I don't know about how anyone else feels, but this Dieter guy is starting to bother me.

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), April 01, 1999.

Unc? Is that really you??? We've had many spoof attacks here lately, is that really you??? <:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), April 01, 1999.

DOn'T TaLk TO HiM!!!!!! hE Is AN EViL DEviL WhO FoLLowS Me AROuND!!!!! JACkaL!!!!!! gO AWAy!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

Uncle Dieter?

-- Mike Lang (webflier@erols.com), April 01, 1999.

oH, BefORE i fORGeT!!!!!! peaRLiE!!!!!! Do yOU pLAn on gOINg tO The grAVE wiTH THaT COnstIPAtED grIMAcE on YOuR FacE??????


-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

The difference between genius and stupidity, is that genius has its limits.

-----Jack Handy

-- andrea (mebsmebs@hotmail.com), April 01, 1999.

Poor dIEtER.

You forgot 1

He wHO soW,,So sHAll hEwHo,,,fOOl

-- CT (ct@no.yr), April 01, 1999.

Old Git

"Any fool, including me, can pick up the phone and order a dozen roses delivered. But it takes a real man to pinch a few daisies from the park and bring 'em over."

Note: not that Old Git encourages stealing or depleting scarce natural resources--heaven forfend! It's a metaphor.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), April 01, 1999.

Are you A DIeTeR (as in eating less) or Dieter as in the German name. You BeaT mE on the lower UPPER case lArk, now that requires Lack of Paunch, Or is the PaunCh Getting In the Way. BTW the computer IM using is playing piped music FOR Some ReaSon.

-- dick OF The DaLe (rdale@coyney.com), April 01, 1999.


Why am I not surprised Uncle Deedah. Welcome "back."


-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 01, 1999.


Actually, I am DiEtER.


Robert Mangus

-- Robert Mangus (rmangus@mail.netquest.com), April 01, 1999.

Welcome back Unc...I still think your post about dealing with unruly members of your y2k bunker was the funniest thing ever on this forum.

1. Invite someone you don't like very much to join your group.

2. At the first sign of trouble from the new member, shoot the aforementioned in the aforehead

3. Ask "Anybody else?"


-- a (a@a.a), April 01, 1999.

Very glad to see your name up there again, Uncle. Your sagacity and dry wit have been sorely missed.

-- Happy Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), April 01, 1999.

Darn, I'm so confused and disappointed. I was sure it was Oprah, that she had finally become a "GI" and that she was ready to do a breakthrough show on Y2k. Man I hope Jerry Springer doesn't do a show on Y2k before Oprah does. What will that do to our credibility? What would the spin of the show be? Anyone have any ideas?

Welcome back Unc! In retrospect, Deedah and "Deeter" (as I took it to be pronounced) aren't that far apart, are they?

Mike ===============================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), April 01, 1999.

And we were worried about the JoAnn Effect on 4-1-99!

All of this y2k buildup has been just an effort to prepare us for


-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.com), April 01, 1999.

More DiETeR fun

-- Me (just@helping.out), April 01, 1999.

DIetER, or whoever,

Thankx for the quotes (in normal print :).

Always wishing for another good laugh or quote:)


-- Merlin Emery (MerlinEmerys@yahoo.com), April 03, 1999.

More fun with Dieter (I want the sPElL cHEkeR!)

-- Me (just@helping.out), April 04, 1999.

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