I'm 13 - 16 hours ahead of the U.S. It's already 8AM Thursday, 1 April in Japan and I'm going to pee in my pants waiting for Dieter to unmask.

-- PNG (png@gol.com), March 31, 1999

Answers

I can't hold out much longer...

-- PNG (png@gol.com), March 31, 1999.

HoW FOoLiSH ArE YoU?????? veRY?????? jA!!!!! hoW SiLLy wiLL yOu feEL?????? HuH?????

pepPerONi!!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), March 31, 1999.

PNG, you know, holding it in can be very unhealthy especially when you may have a long time to wait!

Mike, who thinks the real April Fools Day is actually the 15th. ==================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), March 31, 1999.

My question is ... if Dieter goes ... will "UD" come back?

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 31, 1999.

Is there a pool going as to who Dieter really is, if he or she is someone known to the forum? My top five picks:

1.Uncle Deedah 2.Paul Milne 3.Ed himself 4.Ko-skin-em 5.Al Gore

We need some humor today, so how about some chuckles as we ponder Dieter's true identity. Any other takers?

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), March 31, 1999.

I think Dieter is actually Oprah.

Mike, who is really starting to hope that the IRS is toast. ===================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), March 31, 1999.

I think it's E. Coli -- in his manic phase. BTW...where is our bard these days anyway?

-- a (a@a.a), March 31, 1999.

WW!!!!!!! i tHInK YoU Are riGHt!!!!!!

#5

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), March 31, 1999.

I remember #5! He was a cute little robot in "Short Circuit."

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 31, 1999.

Pick number 5 is close as any. Al Gore is a useless person who has nothing intelligent to add and can't add it in any interesting way even if he did, and dieter is exhibiting the same signs on this forum so the correlation is clear. Either that or it's Ed Yourdon who is equally useless and uninteresting.

-- (~~@~~.com), March 31, 1999.

My bet is that we'll have at least 10 people claiming to be the REAL DiETeR! <:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), March 31, 1999.

I AM SPARTACUS!

(Oh, wait, wrong movie...)

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.com), March 31, 1999.

I'm Bryan and so is my wife!!

-- (~~@~~.com), March 31, 1999.

Well Bryan... if you made the earlier remark about Dieter and Ed, you are a JERK. Is your wife a JERK too?

-- none (none@none.none), March 31, 1999.

A fellow named Dieter did try, his best all our brainwaves to fry, by guessing his name, but the "Hold It In" game, really made some of us cry.

Now if PNG doesn't let fly, and Wildweasel keeps his eye, on Dieter's answer, we'll find our pants're, tight but still quite dry.

The favorite is Uncle D, but "a" thinks it's actually "E". Mike thinks it's "Op", but I think, "Nope!, C'mon "D", I gotta PEE!"

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), March 31, 1999.

Notice the "not good news" posts this evening by Norm, Y2K Pro, and Pro using Doomslayer's e-mail address. Could it be that DieTEr is... Na, I must be... <:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), March 31, 1999.

DiETeR is JBD

-- lurker (from@way.back), March 31, 1999.

dIEteR, dIEteR, puCKish GReEtER, bANDwiDTh eATeR, cYBeR tREaTeR, dOoLaH bEAteR, dIEteR, dIEteR.

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), March 31, 1999.

This forum has grown with readers. With trolls and many troll feeders.

Some posts are too long and many are wrong.

But none are neater than Dieters'.

--------

Perhaps it is time we say."Hey???" Should Dieter unmask today?

If we've all had a peek, there will be no mistique,

when Dieter has something to say.

-- PNG (png@gol.com), March 31, 1999.

Check here:

Dieter's picture

-- none (none@none.none), April 01, 1999.

lurker is right.

Dieter has made it clear a number of times that he is Jimmy Bagga Donuts...

-- pshannon (pshannon@inch.com), April 01, 1999.

JBD's list of impersonations/alter EGOmaniacals is long.

-- lurker (from@way.back), April 01, 1999.

Do EitHER oF YOU IDioTS uSE YouR BRaiNS?????? DIetER is NOT baGGa!!!!!! HoW MAnY TImES MUst ThIS BE STaTEd?????? HuH???? wEll???? mAYBE YoU ARE baGGa, aND TrYINg tO THRow thE HOunDS OFf The scENt????? YeS????? INfiDELs!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

Jimmy Hoffa?

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), April 01, 1999.

I have to agree with Old Git, LOL!!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 01, 1999.

Dieter does NOT have the Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts energy!

(I remember it well ... it's not the same).

Uncle still gets my vote. He also "reappeared" today, after an extended "absence."

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 01, 1999.

Dieter is not Unc. JBD got way under Unc's skin, and

Dieter loves JBD. Hell, I love JBD.

I love Dieter, too. I think.

Dieter probably isn't JBD, although they did arrive at about the same time. I think. It's Jerry that's the wild card.... Dieter, who's Jerry?

-- Lisa (trust@me.here), April 01, 1999.

Actually, Dieter showed up shortly after the last round of INVAR's bagga sagga, and made several references to how sick the bagga sagga was. Around the same time JBD disappeared. Made those references awfully personal, too. At one point he got down on me for defending INVAR at JBD's expense, and said he couldn't trust me. If I had the time or inclination to, I would go back and find all those references and put them side by side. But, naturally, I've got BETTer things to do. Like find Y2K related stories in the mass-media.

Jimmy stops eating donuts, goes on a Diet. Get it?

-- pshannon (pshannon@inch.com), April 01, 1999.

Dieter must be Monica Lewinsky. Who needs to diet more than her?

-- Tom Knepper (thomas_knepper@intuit.com), April 01, 1999.

diETER knOWs wHO JErrY IS!!!!!! BuT SWorN To secRECy wAS DIEter!!!!!

soME poINTS FoR FOoLISh peoPLe!!!!!!

1) dIETeR IS noT jbD!!!!

2) uNC dID nOT hATe NoR LovE jBd!!!!

3) diETer dOES NoT LovE JbD!!!!!

4) JErrY HAteS EVerYBOdY!!!!!

5) DIetER LoVES fOoLS!!!!!

6) FOoLS HatE DIEteR!!!!

7) DIETer KnoWS WHo jERrY iS, BUt jERRy mAY NoT Know wHO DIEteR IS!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

mR. ShaNOOn!!!!! dIETer SIngLES OuT No onE FOr vENoM!!!!!! ALL FoOLs whO CRosS DIetERS PAtH MusT Be deALT wiTH HARShLy, musT THey nOT??????? INVaR IS A caSE SPEciaL, YeS?????? HuH????? JA!!!!! ENouGH FOolisH SCROtaL TOrtuRE SToriES!!!!!!! thAT wAS WHeN DIEter'S PoD BurST, ANd diETer'S HUman TARgeT Was absORBEd!!!!!! ThE IDIot SLepT!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

At last Watson, we've found Moriarity, aka Dieter, aka Uncle Deedah. Case closed.

-- Sherlock Holmes (super@sleuth.net), April 01, 1999.

Sherlock: never ask a question unless you already know the answer.

Mr. Dieter: Would you be so kind to tell us where you purchase your groceries? The exact name of the store?

-- Lisa (not@so.fast_mr._PI), April 01, 1999.

Dear woman, what question? I posted the answer. Read for yourself. Dieter's own post reveals his identity. Who else could speak for UNC? It is as obvious as the nose on Watson's face.

-- Sherlock Holmes (super@sleuth.net), April 01, 1999.

"MELviN'S HoUSE 'o BARgaiNS", bUT ONLy oN TuESdAYS!!!!!!

frIDAy iS A goOd daY FOr "EArL'S CODfiSh sHACk"!!!!

BUt moSTLy diETeR SHoPS At "dEnnY'S deNTeD DIScoUNT DEn"!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 01, 1999.

pshannon & lurker, I agree: Dieter is JBD, who is also innumerable trolls on this Forum. There have been some flickers that it's Uncle Deedah, but I do not think so. However, it is a waste of time to fuss over troll identities. Time is ticking away. All the newbies need to know is that JBD and multiple others of his split personalities' trolls feel they need to shoot down talk or evidence of Y2K troubles.

If you are stuck in a house with lights out, heat off, sewage backing up and down the hall, the neighborhood on fire, a hazmat accident down the street spreading toxic fumes your way, and looting and rioting noises coming thru your window broken from the gas line explosion, do you think JBD will be there to help you?

Learn to rely on yourself and prepare to the extent that you can take care of yourself and being able to help your neighbor if it comes to that.

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), April 01, 1999.

Mr. Sherlock: I was indicating my own intention to ask a question to which I already know the answer.

Mr. Dieter did not mention Publix, which is where Unc shops.

Additionally, Unc would not be a contemporary of Jerry's.

Dieter is just Dieter, and possibly the King of Spain.

-- Lisa (intuition@don't.discount_it), April 01, 1999.

Although JBD is rustling in the bushes as of 11:50 am CST......

-- Lisa (hmm@wow.maybe), April 01, 1999.

Dieter is John Galt...

R.

-- Roland (nottelling@nowhere.com), April 01, 1999.

Dieter is John Cleese! ;-D

Who are a little wise the best fools be.

-=Dr. John Donne

-- Deborah (infowars@yahoo.com), April 01, 1999.

No I Am diETeR!!!!

-- ? (?@?.?), April 01, 1999.

-- ? (?@?.?), April 01, 1999.

Actually, I am DIeTEr.

-- E. Coli (nunayo@beeswax.com), April 01, 1999.

I can tell ya this much, it ain't me.

Have a Nice Day.

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@exite.com), April 01, 1999.

"However, it is a waste of time to fuss over troll identities. Time is ticking away."

My dear Ms. Leska, might I suggest that you loosen your girdle a notch. It seems to be cutting off your sense of humor. :-0

-- Sherlock Holmes (super@sleuth.net), April 01, 1999.

Dieter is someone famous, probably an artist or movie guy. He might even be James Cameron.

-- coprolith (coprolith@rocketship.com), April 01, 1999.

Dieter might also be a big guru like Cory Hamasaki or Paul Milne.

On the other hand, he could be a 19-year old college student geek who hangs out in the computer labs all day long.

-- coprolith (coprolith@rocketship.com), April 01, 1999.

Or he could just be someone who has given many of us a lot of enjoyment/fun/entertainment/consternation for a few months...and that could just be enough. (wink, wink)

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), April 01, 1999.

gee...James Cameron.. You think?

-- a (a@a.a), April 01, 1999.

Yourdonia at its best!

Probing identities! Faking copies... Exegesizing the unspirited! Out-trolling the trolls!

Way to go, gang!

-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.com), April 02, 1999.

If you've ever heard of a band called the Sugarcubes (Bjork's old band from Iceland way back in the '80s), I imagine Dieter's voice to sound like that guy who doesn't sing but kind of chants in the background--kind of a like a Teutonic Fred Schneider (b-52s).

-- coprolith (coprolith@rocketship.com), April 02, 1999.

Dieter hasn't come out yet?? Come on little dude, who are you? I think you probably look like Oscar the Grouch and sound like Yoda. I always thought it was pronounced 'Deeter'.........

Come on man, you made a promise......

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), April 02, 1999.