Dear Friend,

Ive been voicing my concern about Y2K and you have responded that everything is fine. Theyve got it under control. Theyll fix it. And then you say something to the effect that youll just come here if things get bad.

Well, I think thats a great idea! If Im right, theres a hell of a lot of work to do and when the s**t hits the fan therell be a lot more. Just tell me: What do you intend to bring to the equation? What provisions will you be bringing with you? I hope that you are not suggesting that we do a rendition of the Ant and the Grasshopper because that would make me feel pretty crummy. Provisions cost money and it takes a lot of time, thought, and work to get them together. They only go so far and can only be spread so thin.

I hope that you realize that when you suggest that I put on my ant costume and share with you that you are threatening my welfare. Ive tried to warn you of the impending train wreck countless times & Im really getting tired of the ridicule.

Im sure that you have fire insurance on your house even though you dont expect it to burn down in the next ten months. You probably would consider driving without car insurance to be pretty dumb even though you dont expect to be in a horrible wreck any time soon. You probably have some kind of health insurance because hanging out there in the breeze just doesnt feel very comfortable even though you arent planning any major illnesses in the near future. Why should you respond to the threat of Y2K any differently? Are you afraid that somehow stockpiling provisions will magically make Y2K come true? Its been my experience that its NOT preparing that makes unfortunate events come true. Sort of a Peter Principle event causation thing. If you stockpile and youre wrong, you look a little foolish and have a lot of future shopping already done or youll have a tax deductible donation to give to the food bank. Why is this so threatening to you? Is it really the magical thinking thing that stops you from taking care of yourself?

Friends are important to me and your friendship is very important to me. Please treat me like a friend. Dont ask me to put on that ant costume. Dont ask me to do for you what you refuse to do for yourself. I need friends, real friends. We all do.

I hope were friends still.

-- mostly lurking (mostly lurking @podunk.texas), March 10, 1999

Answers

Dear Mostly:

It's a great letter and it may even get them thinking for awhile, but turning them around...not likely. When it comes to Y2k, either you get it or you don't. Period.

My suggestion is to "invest" several hundred dollars or as much as you can afford and buy very inexpensive staples to give to your friends (in small portions) when the time comes. For example, I bought a 50# bag of long grain rice at Sam's for a little over $10 bucks. In addition, I would write down each potential freeloader's, sorry, friend's assets in terms of what he/she can bring to the table post millennium so that I could devise ways that they could contribute SOMETHING (skills, spiritual, entertainment, goods, equipment, leadership ability, etc.) when the time comes.

Hope these ideas help,

Roger Altman

-- Roger Altman (RogAltman@AOL.com), March 10, 1999.

Nice letter Lurking. And I agree with Roger. Make a list of who your "critical friends" are, and as Roger says, stockpile for them some rice and other inexpensive basics and water. That's what I'm doing for my husband's family who aren't preparing. I can't afford to worry about my friends I have too much already with family. But if you don't have as much family, your friends are your family, then it's the same. Prepare for yourself first, then others with what you can afford.

Friends should never be freeloaders. By definition, a friend is someone who brings something to the relationship, usually emotional and/or intellectual, and so we feel obligated to help our friends in times of need materialy or emotionaly, but that goes both ways. If they are not willing to help or listen, then ask yourself if they are truly YOUR friend.

-- chris (catsy@pond.com), March 10, 1999.

A bag of rice? You will give your DGI friends a bag of Rice? They won't know what to do with it. They want burgers, Pizza Hut, beer, etc.

-- curtis schalek (schale1@ibm.net), March 10, 1999.

Yes. And they want it delivered in 30 minutes, or it's free. And heaven forbid if you mess up the order ("YOU CALL THIS EXTRA CHEESE?!? I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER")

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), March 10, 1999.

Prepare for yourself and forget the others. It's painful to watch your friends and family call you a "doomsdayer kook." If they don't believe you now, they won't believe you when you give them your letter, it will only reinforce what they already think of you. Quit feeling guilty about the fact that they refuse to take responsibility for themselves and their loved ones. As time goes on you'll find that some of them (if they are smart), may come around to finding out the truth, but it won't be because you told them so. JMHO.

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), March 10, 1999.

You Americans are a bunch of sissy la la's. Most of your population is spoiled, pampered. The people on welfare in your country live like royalty (electricity, vcr's, running water...need I say more) compared to the rest of the world.

You don't know the meaning of the word adversity.

-- Mikhail (doesitmatter@eatwhatyouget.org), March 10, 1999.

Mikhail: I agree with you! And soon the chickens are coming home to roost. And it isn't just those collecting food stamps, free housing, free medical care, etc., that's going to get a rude awakening, it everyone sucking off the government teat!

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), March 10, 1999.

Roger wrote: "My suggestion is to "invest" several hundred dollars or as much as you can afford and buy very inexpensive staples to give to your friends (in small portions) when the time comes."

They may be "friends", but they are definitley DWGI's and should be given nothing. Sold outright, traded for honest labor or in exchange for something of value, yes, but no charity! Lurker, you have already been more than charitable by trying to tell them what's going to occur. Personally, I think you've made a huge mistake in telling them you were preparing in the first place, but what's done is done.

-- sparks (wireless@home.com), March 10, 1999.

And that "weaning process" is going to be pretty traumatic. Good point, Bardou.

-- sparks (wireless@home.com), March 10, 1999.

Curtis and Tim: Yea, I can hear it now, the family gathered together eating their rice and beans and one relative pipes up and says "Gee, I wish I had a McDonalds Cheesburger, Fries and a Coke." Another one pipes up and says "Gee, I wish I had a slice of Roundtable Pizza, extra cheese and pepperoni, and a pitcher of beer." That's about the time when they all look at you and start blaming you that they have to eat beans and rice, and it's all your fault that this had to happen! You guys are right, most people wouldn't know how to cook rice or beans, why do you think the frozen food sections in stores take up so much room?

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), March 10, 1999.

Sparks-

I live in the country outside a little town. Everybody knows everybody's business. If you order up a second propane tank, EVERYBODY knows. If you have a 3300 gallon cement water tank delivered it sorta stands out. And if you want water without electricity you've gotta have a tank. If you spend your days installing 2000 feet of drip irrigation in the vegetable garden, people talk. If you happen to express interest in the propane refrigerator at the propane store, the owner tells ALL his customers that you're buying one. If you pick up 40 free but dirty 5 gallon buckets from the specialty foods plant, all of their employees know why in 15 minutes or less through mental telepathy. Add a Refuse to Get It husband with a very big mouth into the equation and what you have here is an impossible secret to keep.

-- mostly lurking (mostly lurking@podunk.texas), March 10, 1999.

Mikhail sort of expounded his thoughts in a thread entitled "You Americans are a bunch of sissy la la's. The title ticked me off at first, but he offers an interesting perspective.

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch- msg.tcl?msg_id=000amE

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), March 10, 1999.

Mostly lurking: Loose lips will get you into trouble. How many times have we told ourselves "I should have kept my mouth shut?"

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), March 10, 1999.

No matter how thick-headed my family and friends have been to date, if TSHTF next winter, how can I tell them to go f*** off if they show up on my front porch cold, hungry, and frightened??

Just 'tain't the Christian thing to do, in my opinion.

I'm working on a three-to-one prep ratio. For every three months worth of food that could sustain my family, I figure it will last only one month by the time all my contrite DGI relatives show up.

Only thing to do is keep stocking up like a sonuvagun. It won't go to waste. P.S. - No total charity cases, however. They better bring something to the party- cash, gas, wood-chopping elbow grease, sentry duty, etc.

-- rick blaine (y2kazoo@hotmail.com), March 10, 1999.

As my favorite truck window sticker from the 1960's says:

"Ass, Gas, or Grass! NOBODY rides for free!!"

Unregenerated Hippy

-- nopenodope (z@z.z), March 10, 1999.

Forget the ass, I'll take the gas and grass! If my family shows up here (which I seriously doubt), I will tell them not to come empty handed, and here are the house rules. When they read my house rules, they'll think differently about coming. Here's just a sample of my rules: 1. One roll of TP per person per week. 2. One gallon of water per person per day. 3. Nightwatch patrol and day watch patrol. 4. Two meals a day and no complaints 5. My husband is captain and I am second in command, don't like the rules the door is over there. There are things that each and everyone of us have to think about in a communal situtation and it's going to take cooperation, and planning to keep things moving smoothly....this is not going to be easy folks.

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), March 10, 1999.

If people come who wouldnt listen, they go by the rules! Or the get on the train to the feeding station! Get on the train everythings going to be allright now ): Remember the Holocust ):

-- Caveman (D@Cave.com), March 10, 1999.

Rick, you wrote: "No matter how thick-headed my family and friends have been to date, if TSHTF next winter, how can I tell them to go f*** off if they show up on my front porch cold, hungry, and frightened?? Just 'tain't the Christian thing to do, in my opinion.

That IS going to be a problem, especially from a Christian perspective. You're probably thinking of I Timothy 5:8: "But if any one does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worth than an infidel."

I'd have to look in Strong's Corcordance for a better definition of "his own", but I believe it means relatives living apart from one's home, such as sons and daughters and their children, parents, brothers and sisters, and immediate in-laws.

It just struck me while I'm writing this that I've got to get a lot more food...

-- sparks (wireless@home.com), March 10, 1999.

If I felt compelled to write a letter like that, I think I would have to examine whether the intended recipients were the kind of friends that I would be interested in keeping. I think that this bears some examination. Why would anyone be putting up with ridicule when very mainstream sources (FEMA, Red Cross) are urging citizens to prepare? No disrespect intended, but If I were you I would be looking for some new friends that value what you think.

-- Skeptic (Wh@t.friends?), March 11, 1999.

Dear Mostly Lurking,

"If you build it, they will come." From Field of Dreams, remember?

remember also that Kevin Costner's characyer charged a fee for people hungry to share the dream.

In a small town like the one you describe, it seems the best insurance for you is to enroll the community (via clergy, civic groups, ANYTHING) to work together.

Barring that, I agree with those that say: store extra, if you are able to, and offer it to friends who show up willing to contribute.

-- Sara Nealy (keithn@ptd.net), March 11, 1999.

mostly lurking:

If I gave copies of that letter to the DGIs I've encountered during the past several months, they would consider me to be a genuine nutcase. Some would laugh and say I'm being fanatical. Some would give me a strange look and not bother finish reading it. My family would suggest I see a therapist. Maybe you'll have better success. I won't.

And whatever happened to that Grasshopper in the fable? I think he went south and robbed a rich beetle. :)

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), March 12, 1999.

dinosaur,

"And whatever happened to that Grasshopper in the fable?"

He died, and the ants ATE him! Hmmm, Got recipes?

-- Gerald R. Cox (grcox@internetwork.net), March 12, 1999.

Gerald:

You must have been reading from Aesop's original unedited version. I don't remember that particular ending, but one plump Grasshopper would make a wonderful midwinter feast for an Ant colony. Ants don't use recipes; they use mandibles. :)

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), March 14, 1999.