MCYY2K Circus Continued. Off to join the Circus! : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Lovelies, Ladies, Gentlemen,...children, clowns of all ages!!! Welcome to the ongoing thread for the Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus. Here is the link to the previous thread of almost 80 messages. Once there you will find the link to the original thread of 150 messages. Join us for fun, for ideas about Post-Y2K employment opportunities.

Previous Y2K Circus Thread

Strike up Da Band!

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 03, 1999


Yore midway barker can't seem to read as it is, see thread two up from here.

a chagrined night driver

-- Chuck, night driver (, March 03, 1999.

There you go, Old Git, Sweetie!

Updates on tour schedule: Recently added, 5-day run at the Crater in Winslow, Arizona. We actually get to set up our tents inside the crater!!

Sorry for my confusion about who's doing what acts....dang, jiggle juice killing too many brain cells. What a clown to do?? I think I need a secretary to keep it all straight. But hey...we're gonna have one heck of a show!!!! Move over Jerry Springer!

Hugs for everyone,...welcome newbies...

Got clown shoes??

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 03, 1999.

Bring on the mudwrestling ladies!!!

-- King of Spain (, March 03, 1999.

Hey, thanks, Donna! My tired, old computer thanks you too. Do I need to point out that there is an even more colossal circus than this one? Do I need to tell you that it has to do with a certain report? Sadly, their Chief Clown (Bennett) has been forced into the role. Okay, no more of that depressing stuff, this thread is for FUN!

Dieter, have you thought about taking over ringperson duties? I'll alter the red jacket to fit. Tricia, how are the cats coming along? Got them jumping through hoops yet? Greybear, concessions doing okay? Got any TVP-kabobs? Everyone else all right?

-- Unemployed Old Git (, March 03, 1999.

the circus is coming!

-- Bobbi (, March 03, 1999.

On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again...Donna, I've shined up my size 18 tennies, fluffed my ruffles, and freshened my face paint. Ready to jiggle while juggling. (Sorry, I had to take off a couple of days for Dad and lost touch with the circus. Thanks for the prayer, BTW) Linda, aka Shorty the Clown

-- newbiebutnodummy (, March 03, 1999.

Cant leeve yet onlee findink von shoee ...

Donnas Great Clown Shoe

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 03, 1999.

(Remember, Lon, imitation is still the most sincere form of flattery)

Lonely figure holding purring cat, peering through thinning fog...

"Oh, there they are! Hoops and shoes now instead of duct tape and fruitcake. That's okay, I can adjust. Here, Cici, go through that hoop and get that bit of tuna. Good girl! Hush, Pierra, you'll scare the poor pigeons..."

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 03, 1999.

Ahhhh, Seeress Diane dahlink, I thought I saw your other shoe......

-- Bobbi (, March 03, 1999.

What incredible images of our circus I have in my punkin clown head....Bobbi, that circus train is AMAZING!

The shoe!!!!

Hey, Old Git, know what some folks think is the Bennett Circus, is actually The Ship of Fools.

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 03, 1999. about a waste of bandwidth...

-- clowns (nobody@all.really), March 03, 1999.

Just in time, clowns@nobody@all.really,..... Lon, our esteeemed elphunt keeper has been looking for just the right person to grab a shovel, add some elbow grease, and be a part of the MCYY2K Circus Compost Project. You sound like the perfect candidate. Lon,....over here,... Quick!

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 03, 1999.

OK, OK, Lon. I'll do two weeks of penance helping you clean up after your pack o derns.

-- Greybear, who would never hit a clown anyway.

- Anybody got a bucket of water? No...No.. for the elephants!!!!

-- Greybear (, March 03, 1999.

Dateline: Geezerville-On-The-Bayou

Normally, a sleepy little village dozing peacefully on the banks of it's bayou, Geezerville-OTB is astir these days, as the entertainment giant, The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon's Y2K Circus prepares to start their global tour.

The troupe has had to overcoming numerous setbacks in the past few days, including the incarceration of the Clown Co-ordinator on charges of juggling while under the influence, followed by a widely reported disturbance involving the whip-wielding near-nude ringmaster, and the temporary vision impairment of the midway barker, requiring the subsequent training of a seeing-eye hyena.

Local businesses are preparing for decreased sales once the circus has pulled out. Particularly devastated, will presumably be Ignoratium Chalmet's Jiggle Juice bottling company. However, Mrs. Gloria Hallaluia Gaspard, Chairperson of the Morals and Ethics Committee of the Bayou Temperance League, issued a statement expressing her relief that "that bunch of rag-tag chicken thieves" were leaving town. In particular, Mrs. Gaspard condemned the moral turpitude exhibited by one fortune teller, "DiAna The Seeress". Her statement concluded,"any woman of modesty and distinction could take one look at how that hussy dresses, and figure out that she's lettin' 'em look at more than just her crystal ball!"

Local Health Department officials likewise had begun to express concern over the increasing problem of elephuntine by-products, since the unexpected disappearance of "Ole Lon the Clown". Circus personnel were, at first, particularly distraught over the loss of Ole Lon, presumably because he was believed to have absconded with the entire year's budget of the CDDEBP. Later, it was discovered that the $4.82 in question was left safely in it's fruitcake tin, inside his non- working refrigerator.

On a final note, there has been some tension among circus folk, and townspeople alike, over reported sightings of a lone furtive figure, nursing a jug of Jiggle Juice, and seemingly melting into the shadows. It has been surmised by some, that the figure is a circus performer/ geek/animal act, by the name of Dieter. It is presumed that he becomes somewhat sane during the full moon, and releases himself from his cage. Others have postulated that the fleeting figure is a reincarnation of a long departed circus legend, one Uncle Deeda. Still, others suggest that the shadowy specter may indeed by the mysterious and perhaps mythical Ed Yourdon, billionaire recluse, and owner of the global circus syndicate.

It is this reporter's observation that this Circus has many unseen observers, and vicarious participants. And who really knows what lurks, unseen in the imaginations of the Big Top? Perhaps only the shadows know.

-- Skippy (, March 03, 1999.

Those are too right-handed shoes up there - did you left one out? was it tracking the elphunt residue?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 03, 1999.

I think I got a picture of that lone figure in the shadows:

I can't tell who it is, though.

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 03, 1999.

If malevolent looks count, it's definitely DiETeR. WW

-- Wildweasel (, March 03, 1999.

Skippy! You mentioned Chalmette, dawlin. You are cognizant of the place? Oh, ma hawt, I am assaulted by memories of the many MOMS (Mystics, Orphans and Misfits) Mardi Gras balls held right next door in Arabi! I was fortunate to experience a long and happy sojourn in New Awlins before the casinos took over. If you know about Chalmette, then you MUST know how to cook a dynamite red beans and rice, a true Y2k dish. Maybe we could set up a booth for you--you'd have to check with Greybear who's in charge of concessions. Oh this is wonderful--few people outside Greater New Orleans knows where or what the institution of Chalmette is. (Among other things, it's the site of the Battle of New Orleans.) Hey, the battlefield is big enough to house a circus--cheaper than the Superdome, anyway.

-- Old Git (, March 04, 1999.

My dear lady, to which battle of New Orleans to you refer? The early one on the banks of the river during the unpleasantness of 1812, or the important one in the river itself during the uncivil rudeness of 1860's?

Or the most recent one between my dear Texas Aggies and those g*dd**m yankees from Ohio State?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 04, 1999.

Robert, who won that last battle, BTW?

We should start an IA group (Insomniacs Anon) :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 04, 1999.

LOL, Tricia, are you at work?

-- Leska (, March 04, 1999.

Robert - would you believe Sweetie is an Aggie? Was in the band too--it was those lovely leather boots and that Sam Browne belt that really got to me! You know how I am about boots and uniforms! And I'm referring to the battle where they had to send Colonel Pakenham home pickled in a barrel of rum, the refrigeration being unavailable due to Y1814. I once had to give a speech on behalf of all those deceased Brits at the annual commemoration outdoors--it started to snow and by the end of my much curtailed speech, there was a veritable blizzard and only the St. Bernard Parish officials were left in their seats! In New Orleans! Yes! You reckon somebody was trying to tell me something?

-- Old Git (, March 04, 1999.

No, Leska, are you?

Between Y2k, my job and some THTBALRS (there has to be a little rain, sometimes), my sleep patterns have been pretty disrupted.

Git, that really does lend a whole new meaning to the phrase "get pickled", doesn't it?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 04, 1999.


I cee vith a entire year's budget of the CDDEBP -- $4.82 vere all gonna havta walk an not takee da trainz. Merlin, oha mer-lyn! Ve needz more clown shoez!

Noaw ve kin git a movee on, sincz Bobbieee fin mi shoee. Thankz Bebee.

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 04, 1999.

Vell, allz I kin seyz ta...

... Mrs. Gaspard condemned the moral turpitude exhibited by one fortune teller, "DiAna The Seeress". Her statement concluded,"any woman of modesty and distinction could take one look at how that hussy dresses, and figure out that she's lettin' 'em look at more than just her crystal ball!"

I benn able ta cee yu!

Notz verrey distinctz, butz growink up ...

Mrs. Gloria Hallaluia Gaspard
Chairperson of the Morals and Ethics Committee
of the Bayou Temperance League

Her hiddenz modesty. (I bee embarased tu, ifin I vauz yu, ladi) ...

Mr. Gaspard, vaitink at homee (she doan let him out muchz, hez bit conservativ)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 04, 1999.

But, DiAna, who's Gaspard grinning (leering!) at??

Oh, and any signs of Ginger - he's that big ginger coloured cat with a mane, y'know? He kinda got out of his cage when one of them new pooper-scooper things bumped the catch...

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 04, 1999.

Not in the band - fish Drill team, RV's, etc. Nuclear Engineering, '78.

Not much love ever found between the drill team and band I'm afraid. At the 15th reunion, Aggie President got up, spent a long speech praising everything, then claimed the Aggie Band were now marching over 250 cadets. I stood up, aknowledged that every one of them were probably marching in step and in time to the music, but asked how many were playing?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 04, 1999.

I thought I saw Ginger down by the river.....

-- Bobbi (, March 04, 1999.

Oops! Oh, goodness, Robert, you must have been around when the nuclear pizza got delivered to the drill team's dorm and cleared the place out. Hope you don't bear a grudge. Sweetie grew up to drive multi-million dollar computers for the Navy and, as you can tell from the nickname, doesn't have the stereotypical personality. Never goes back for reunions, doesn't belong to the FSA, has no ties to fellow band alumni. To be honest, I didn't know him when he was wearing the band uniform, but it made a good story, huh?

Maybe we can get the drill team alumni to perform for the circus. Or maybe we could get them and the band alumni to duke it out for the Jerry Springer fans.

-- Old Git (, March 04, 1999.

Yep...I'm sure I did...

(darn html anyway! LOL)

-- Bobbi (, March 04, 1999.

My dear - I do not ever bear a grudge - for example, it takes me a good 6-7 years of continual problems to even begin to get midly irritated at someone. Clinton only been in office for 6 years now - and I'm only a bit pissed off so far at his performance. However, once irritated, it does a little while to cool off. (For example, there's these two bullies I knew in fourth grade ....)

The band - shoot, I'm willing to forgive and forget, let by gones be by gones - heck, maybe by the 50th reunion I might even be talking to some of them again. 8<)

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 04, 1999.

Ahhhh, yes. Jean Lafitte National Hysterical Park in Chalmette. Where we stood and sang this song:

"We fired our guns and the British kept a comin', there wasn't as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and they began a runnin'. Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico."

I would "sing" the rest, but it's NOT politically correct. :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 04, 1999.

Mr. Keys and I have hard at work at the drawing board putting together prototypes for the Circus marquee. We've given attention to the need to have alternate energy supply so of course this first example is solar powered.



-- Donna Barthuley (, March 04, 1999.

NewsFlash!!! There has been an Uncle Deedah sighting at Yourdon's forum. Uncle?...Uncle??

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 04, 1999.

Huh? Where? The real one? Details... we need details!

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 04, 1999.

Gayla, in this thread: "Contaminated Post"

Deedah Sighting

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 04, 1999.

Donna, don't think that was the real Uncle Deedah. Looks like an impersonator. If not, UD trailing the troll and posting in tandem.

-- Leska (, March 04, 1999.

Rats! I wondered why Uncle would be picking on you, Leska....

I miss my Uncle! (pouting)

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 04, 1999.

Donna, of course there is always the slim possibility that Uncle Deedah got bored and wanted to try some stabs from the other side of the fence. But seriously doubt that because of patterns closely intersecting with the resident troll, who BTW is very active on our Forum now as we type. The troll is adept at picking up cues as to our current attitudes/interests and mimicking them and twisting ever so sly slightly to cause confusion.

The great Exemplar of Wisdom, Swami Sri Yukteswarji, gives the following advice:

" The Company We Should Keep:
" ... as to the company we should keep. Here also, if we listen to the dictates of our conscience and consult our natural liking, we will at once find that we favor those persons whose magnetism affects us harmoniously, who cool our system, internally invigorate our vitality, develop our natural love, and thus relieve us of our miseries and administer peace to us. "

" That which produces opposite results, destroying our peace, throwing us into doubts, and creating our miseries, should be considered Asat, the bane of all good, and should be avoided as such. "

" Those who remove our troubles, dispel our doubts, and bestow peace are true teachers. They perform a Godlike work. Their opposites (those who increase our doubts and difficulties) are harmful to us and should be avoided like poison."

We post this now on the Circus thread, incongruous yes, but it affords us a moment without trawling interruption.

And now, back to the legitimate clowns, jugglers, critter tamers, Seers, and acts!

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, March 04, 1999.

Thanks for the clue, Bobbi, I'm sure I'll find him soon.

Here, kitty-kitty; here kitty-kitty. I've got this lovely steak for you, but you've got to give up your fishing and come back... Here, Ginger...

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 04, 1999.

Gayla, I'm shocked and saddened by your lack of tact! Poor old Pakenham would turn in his grave, sloshing a bit, I'm sure. You think we could have a special Pakenham Barrel Roll for the circus? Anyone volunteer to be put in a barrel full of rum?

-- Old Git (, March 04, 1999.

Old Git, click on this link and scroll down to "The Battle of New Orleans." Then click on the S to the right of the artist's name. If you have speakers and Real Audio, you can listen to the whole thing. :-) (PS- I lived in Nawlins for almost 4 years.)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 04, 1999.

GB,'s perhaps the source of the 'laugh so we don't cry' quotation....thought you might like it.

"Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'etre oblige d'en pleurer. (I hasten to laugh at everything for fear of being obliged to weep at it.)" Pierre de Beaumarchais, French dramatist (1732-1799)

Bird people? I found these little guys lurking around outside the tent,...could we work them in to one of the fantastic bird acts? They talked incessantly about wanting to be circus stars...gotta love all that heart!

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 04, 1999.

Now, where'd they go? (whistling....) Ah, there they are!

These performers are sooooo case sensitive sometimes.

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 04, 1999.

Where'd that new kid, whaass his name.....Skippie go to?

Anybody see him hangin round. I thought he wrote a pritty good a newspaper artivle, even if he just a kid.

-- Greybear (, March 04, 1999.

Posting: March 4

To: Richmond R. Robicheaux Editor in Chief GOTB DAILY PLANET

From: Skippy (Cub Reporter)


Boss, Have decided to hang with the circus for a while. There seems to be a some real stories here. An old clown disappearing under somewhat suspicious circumstances, unaccountable reports involving a shadowy furtive figure, and a veritable freak-show smorgasbord of characters. Theres even one performer of questionable species, who nevertheless speaks English (sort of), and orders pizza.

Theres a ditsy old broad who thinks that since I know Iggie Chalmet, that I been all the way up to Chalmet, the town. (You know, near Nawlins). The Clown Coordinator seems harmless enough, nearly normal in comparison to the rest, but she has a most disconcerting ability to jiggle almost constantly. The fortune teller, or Seeress, as she likes to be called, seems to have some sort a' shoe fetish, but has offered to show me her wares if I can come up with the price of admission. (I think my Momma told me about this, once.)

The mid-way barker seems to be a decent enough feller, but I gotta learn to give his seeing eye hyena some room! (good thing Im a fast healer) Plus, theres an almost bare, bareback rider who wants to be a tight-rope dancer (VERY nice, if you know what I mean), and an tutu- wearing engineer who is trying to patent a gigantic pooper-scooper Zamboney. And I haven't even touched on the ring-mistress who got busted for being "busted", so to speak.

I also seem to have befriended the main concessioneer. Hes a great hulking grey-haired feller, who rides a unicycle everwhere he goes. There are whispers that he and the old clown had a dispute over a new formula for a rice confection, just before the geezer went missing. I dont know, but I suspect that the Spam-on-a-stick tycoon is smarter than he looks.

Boss, I know all this seems unbelievable, but I will keep you posted.

Keeping my ear to the ground (well, not really; elephunts, you know), and my nose in the air,


P.S. Can I cash my last check yet?

-- Skippy (, March 04, 1999.

Gayla, lived there 13-14 years. Mostly Uptown, then with Sweetie in a converted mattress factory on Julia Street in the Warehouse District. Did some stand-up at Rigby's British Pub in the Quarter. (Always had a moonlighting job!) Won NAS Mardi Gras costume contest two yeas running, last as Joan Crawford! Loved it, but have to grow up now. Was there from 69-73 and 78-87, son still down there but in Mandeville. You?

Skippy--ROTFLMAO! And I don't do that often--advanced age.

-- Old Git (, March 04, 1999.

Skippy, you remind me of someone... but I just can't seem to put my finger on who... hmmmm.... Skippy... like "skipped" out of town or something.... hmmmmm :-)

Old Git, I also lived there from 69-73, but I was a teenager. We lived on the West Bank out Gen. De Gaulle Dr. on Rue Mignon. In those days it was a nice place. We usually just went to the Mardi Gras parades on our side of the river. We went to Westwego, Marrero, and Gretna. But, whenever company came, we always took them for a "tour" down Bourbon Street. :-) My dad worked for Shell Oil in Metairie. We used to eat up on Lake Pontchartrain a lot. That is where I learned to LOVE seafood!

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 04, 1999.

PS- Old Git, where you had your unfortunate "toe accident" is VERY close to where I live now. :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 04, 1999.

Posting: March 4

To: Richmond R. Robicheaux Editor in Chief GOTB DAILY PLANET

From: Skippy (Cub INVESTIGATIVE Reporter)


Boss, just a quick update. I found shelter with some of the animal trainers. I know that my investigative talents will get a work out here, for sure. I mean theres one who trains CATS, fer crying out loud. You know anybody who is crazy enough to train cats has gotta have some serious skeletons in her closet! (and bats in her belfry, most likely)

And another is always goin on about her birds. I mean, theyre just birds. Not like lions and tigers or anything interestin; just dumb birds! I think she may have something to do with the old clowns disappearance, too. The scuttlebutt is that she caught the old bozo lookin at her birds, and readin the menu, know what I mean?

There is one nice gal though, a clown wannabe who arranged for the circus train. Shes taken over some of the elephunt by-product duties, and seems to have a real talent for shovelin you could hire her to write the Eye on the Gooberment column.) But you know what? She was turned down by the old clown when she first applied for a job here. Im starting to think conspiracy. There seems to be an awful lot of folks who had the reprobate in their sights.

Keeping my eyes peeled, and my end stinks in the wind,


P.S. You didnt tell Momma about the fortune teller did you?

-- Skippy (, March 04, 1999.

Is it too late for jugglers to sign up?

-- Tim (, March 04, 1999.

I also have some friends looking for work, in case you're interested...we worked on some projects together

- Got references? ;-)

-- Tim (, March 04, 1999.

Welcome, Tim, and BTW have you seen Ginger? I'm getting a little worried because I didn't tell the ringmistress just how big Ginger was when I told her that he snaps, and, um, well, he's pretty,um, big, and well he hasn't eaten for a while, and that reporter fella is apt to cause a panic if he figures out just how big Ginger is. Anyway, maybe you can help me look? Ginger likes trolls if they're not too skinny, but he really doesn't eat regular folks, at least not regularly...

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 04, 1999.

-- Tim (, March 04, 1999.

Tim, which bags of rice? There's so many Yourdonites, with so many bags of rice that I think they're using them for building materials!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 05, 1999.

You don't suppose Ginger's responsible for the missing clown, do you? We have a Ginger too but he's called Ginger the Cringer with good reason. We call 'em marmalade cats in England. Christmas is a marmie as well. Back to your Ginger: you've noticed Dieter's gone missing, haven't you? I think we'd better issue a BOLO (Be On the Look-Out) for that cat. Just how big is he, anyway?

-- Old Git (, March 05, 1999.

Fergoodnessakes! Do the management nightmares never end? I told my momma, I'm not a manager, I'm just a plain clown, but she insisted on the MBA.

Not only is the entire band threatening to quit if they don't get their own shower facilities, but the bandleader told me on the Q.T. that the glass harmonica player has run off with the bearded lady; they were all moony-eyed and saying something about Chicago and real pizza! I'm changing my name from Bozette to Sisyphus.

Where are you Lon? (CTTOAC-cryin' the tears of a clown,...)

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

Uh, well, Old Git, y'see it's this way. I've had poor old Ginger since he was just a cub, and I have a hard time keepin track o'just how fast he's grewed. I think he's at about 400lbs, but I ain't real sure. As for Dieter, wellll, I don't think poor Ginger'd eat him, 'less the cat was reeeaal hungry; and I figger Lon's likely ok, too. Them two pro'ly just went on the lam together. 'Sides, I think they was gone 'fore that dang-burned pooper-scooper let Ginge out. But I'm gettin reeaal worried 'cause ain't no one seen 'im :_( well, Bobbi thinks she might of, but that was no help, and Tim didn't grab him from the catnip. Guess I'll just have to build me a trap...

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 05, 1999.

What the hell happened to Lon and Dieter, anyway? You reckon the pirogue went down and they're stuck on a cypress in the swamp somewhere? More likely, they went to the Quarter and they're annoying the tourists with Ginger. Reminds me, Ruthie the Duck Lady is probably still around. Shall we recruit her? Her schtick is skating around the Quarter on old-fasihined skates with her duck under one arm. Been doing it for years, just her way.

-- Old Git (, March 05, 1999.

Greetings, my circus fam:

Sorry I haven't been out to play lately, I've been under the pile, shoveling for all I'm worth. It's amazing how much 'by-product' those elephunts produce. Since my quasi-hiring by that paragon of poop, Mr. Frank (who, by the way, has skipped the country with a truck load of 'product'-he said something about how much it would bring on the y2k gardening black market), I have been scooping to beat the band.

Oh, you didn't know that the MCYY2K Circus had a band? Yep, there's Mitch, the percussionist, who keeps the beat by bouncing a ball; Stevie, the peenano player-he uses a seeing eye monkey; Al Hurt and the Tiajuana Bananas-our brass section, and of course, the wunnerful Larry, band director. Strange guy-has a problem with champagne bubbles but what a great dancer!

Anyway, as I was saying, I can beat the band shoveling stuff any day of the week. For one thing, Stevie's monkey is practically useless with that shovel, Mitch keeps losing his balls (no dirt intended here), Al and the Bananas have all they can handle just trying to beat the girlilla off their cute little banana costumes and all Larry does is try to keep cadence by yelling "a vun and a two." It's not a pretty sight.

It is getting tiring, 'though, trying to keep my tennies in their pristine polka-dotted purity. Where's that Girly Old Git who said she might help out? I have a personally-personalized and pooper-authorities-authorized stuff-shoveling device warmed up and waiting for her.

Oops, gotta go, the elephunts just went. Help, blub, blub. Shorty, TC aka Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, March 05, 1999.

I just saw Ginger! He was riding around in a red car. He was shouting "No!! No!! I don't want to go back! This is fun! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!" OOps, there he is now!

-- Bobbi (, March 05, 1999.

Monsieur Skippy-

Your end stinks? I don't want to hear about it! I'm up to my arm pits in elephunt doo and you think a little end-stinking is a big deal?! Get real, get a life, on second thought, get a shovel.

As for your recommendation that I do some reporting on the goobernought, forget it. I don't think I could shovel fast enough to keep up with Bill-I-can't-keep-my-disgusting-body-parts-to-myself-I'm-sorry-he's-pr esident-whatshisface.

Sincerely, Shorty TC

PS. Sorry, my smiley face melted into a frowny face because of the methane emissions here. I'll be better after a fruitcake break. Thanks for the "nice" compliment :^P

-- newbiebutnodummy (, March 05, 1999.

Just remembered--what's all this about Skippy and Diane, huh? Don't know how you find the time, Diane.

Linda--where'd ya get that Girly bit from? Put it back this instant! I'm the old, tall, large kind with big feet, frilly girly stuff looks ridiculous on me, give me khakis and a buttondown any day. As for volunteering for pooper-scooper duties, you are sadly mistaken! With all these indoor cats I have plenty of that to do already. Got to go and do some soon, the house is in the paper this weekend, must scrub out litter boxes. . . Thank goodness my Ginger isn't as big as Tricia's Ginger.

-- Preppie Old Git (, March 05, 1999.

Ms Skippy - is that plain or peanut flavor? Them's there elephunts are wandering around wondering....

This here "engineer" - when at a circus - spends his time looking at how they put the tents up, not at tutu colors (yechh orange and white) - which for anybody wondering is where my mom and dad when to school - but then they got sensible, got married, got chillern's, and us chillern's got to pay our way to go to A&M.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! This here Circus train sure does move fast. I missed it and have been runnin to ketchup ever since. Whew! Now, where is my jug, I am a might parched and feel like celebrating.

-- Rob Michaels (, March 05, 1999.



Tak it ezer on dat stuffe, vill ya?

Ya postink before coffe agin?


*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 05, 1999.


Roobee, boo-bee.

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 05, 1999.

Wrong dudu ... Koskinenz. Vatchink uz.

Dis Roobie ...

Sheeshy tutu!

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 05, 1999.

Old Gity,

Skippee justa playnik vith yu! (Und tryink vith me but hee doan git veree far).

Skippy (Cub INVESTIGATIVE Reporter)

Heez jus a little puff.

Preferink somevonk vith moree firez!

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 05, 1999.

Can't find my jug anywhere, musta left it on that there other thread. Good thing I see something to drink for me here - Thanks Diane. Now, let me just drink that first yummy lookin glass. MMMMMMmmmmmmm. That was good. I feel a little better but am still thirsy. Maybe I'll just have that second yummy lookin glas. MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Thats gud. tasted like liquid flutecrake. Hickup. Gee I fill steel thirty. Myabee I can havjus a sip of dat glasss der. MMMMMHickupmmmmmmmmmmm. I peel fritty biiter konw hicupcpcp. Isdat onelas grass ipee? Ooooooohicupooooommmmmmmmm. ZZzzzzzzz ZZzzzzzzz ZZzzzzzz ZZzzzzz hicuppp ZZzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

-- mob ichaels (sonfoustds@hic.up), March 05, 1999.

Posting: March 5

To: Skippy (Cub Reporter)

From: Richmond R. Robicheaux Editor in Chief GOTB DAILY PLANET


What ARE you doin!!! I mean just what in the Christmas crawfish pie, do you think you are doin! You know I cant afford no investigative reporter. Now get yore skinny butt back here an deliver them papers like I hired you to do.

Im sure your missing clown will show up sooner of later, even if that circus cat is carrying him (in his tummy!)

An if I hear one more word about that Fortune Teller, Im gonna write yore momma, up at the Calcassieu Detention Center, at tell her what you are doin with the IOUs Im paying you.

Now, not another word about that bunch of Loonie Tunes rejects! I got work to do (and so do you!)

P.S. Remember to clean your shoes before comin in the office.

-- RRR (, March 05, 1999.

Scene: A deserted and dusty back road in the low country of the bayous. An elderly gent wearing a faded rubber nose and wisps of orange hair, is slowing shuffling toward the setting sun.

Ahead, in the high grass and goose gorse of early spring, there is an almost imperceptable tremble; the tightly wound kinetic energy of great feline muscles, vibrating with primal energy. Behind him, in the spanish moss-shrouded shadows of a live oak, already ancient when the pirate hero Jean LaFitte passed beneath its branches, a lone and furtive figure nurses a jug of Jiggle Juice and a slice of fruitcake, as he silently watches this oldest of natures dramas about to unfold.

Oblivious to the danger ahead of him, the old clown moves with a practiced waddle, perfected through countless years of giant shoes. In his fevered brain rings the laughter of a life-time in the Big Top; the chuckles of children, the self-conscious giggles of pre-teen girls, the burbling belly-laughs of babies. He mutters to himself to silence the the unbidden remembrances:

Yes sir, what I wouldnt give to see their faces now. I bet they were out all night searching, calling for me. thats right, I can just hear the ladies, now; PORE ol Lon. Why, oh why, did we take him for granted. DEAR ol Lon, how can we ever do without him? Thats right, yes, sir!

Suddenly in mid-waddle, he freezes, his blood running cold as the dark depths of a lawyer's heart. The slight rustle of grass suddenly penetrating the untrimmed hairs of his ears. A wayward ray of sunshine glistens upon the saliva on an ivory tooth, as other, tawny ears are laid back flat against a massive head. Too late, he realizes the frailty of old bones, and as the huge cat lunges, can only manage an expletive defence: HOLEY MOLEY, ITS THAT DAM GINGE...!.

The impact is horrifying in its savagery, but curiously cushioned by way of huge padded feline paws. A small green, gold, and purple bundle spins momentarily above the carnage, suspended within the fading light of a gentle Spring afternoon, scattering its treasured keepsakes into the dust, before floating slowly down like some gay curtain upon the now silent stage.

In the nearby shadows of the live oak, only an empty jug and stale crumbs remain.

-- narrator (, March 05, 1999.

Rob, you're potched! And I was hoping that you could slip into Lon's managment slot...This could bear on your future with our organization...except that we need ...uh...crud....have you ever thought about drinking echinecia tea instead of jiggle juice?

Rob, the Circus is heading out of town in time to provide joy to all the Y2K deprived populace...We need you to straighten out...

We're days from opening night....

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

I'm dreaming of a man with a molting rubber sleep is disturbed,...I'm drinking far too much jiggle juice...I know better. Daddy was hooked. Is Lon that rubber-nosed man?? Why are my dreams so tortured? Was I too demanding? Did the clown car lack leather seats? I may have to consider psychotherapy and prozac....


-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.


Im baaaack! Did ya miss me? Huh? Hope you werent TOO upset. Hope you all didnt hurt yoreselfs CRYIN too much.

Whats that? Well, yeah, I was gone! Fer two days! What! You didnt! Fer cryin out loud, how could you not know I was gone?!! Mercyfull Murgetroyd, you mean NOBODY noticed that I wasnt doin everthing around here?

Well, anyway, I found that fur-brained Canuck cat. Like ta knocked the crawfish stuffin outta me. Knocked me down in the road, and dang near broke my funny bone. Knocked the breath right out of us both, it did. I was almost unconscious, but I saw someone or something, come from outta the shadows, and start givin mouth-to-muzzle resusitication on the CAT! I finally came around myself, but, whoever it was, were long gone. I could swear the cat smelled like pizza, though.

Anyway, I bet them dam elephunts missed me. Come heah, dawlins. Let me give yore big ol grey butts a hug.

-- Lon Frank (, March 05, 1999.

Wow...two minutes I post and the Universe (C4) sends you back to us...crud...have we missed you???????? The whole place is held together with string and sealing wax. Would you like the keys to the convertible?

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

He'll need keys to the convertible alright - somebody locked the doors last night after he left his own set of keys in the ignition. Now's it raining "like a cow p***g on a flat rock" and the top is still down!

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.

Good grief, Donna, didn't you even read the part (up there a couple a places) where I supposedly got eaten by the cat? I had to come back pretty soon, before all the women readers out there in cyber-land started throwin' themselves off a' bridges and such. Please try to keep up in the future, OK?

And where's that $4.82 I left in the ice box? I hope you didn't give it to that Shorty. If I know her, she'll be wearin a bran' new gold lame' rubber nose next time we see her!

-- Lon Frank (, March 05, 1999.

I thought you getting eaten by the cat was just spin from the evil empire, Lon.........

I was so worried...and overworked,...

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

And Robert, if I remember right, the clown limo WASN"T a convertible till I loaned it to you and your alter-ego, Rob M. You left it empty, too. Of gas, that is. There was plenty of Jiggle Juice bottles, though!

-- Lon Frank (, March 05, 1999.

I reiterate,...I was clueless, Dude. The news said you were toast. What was I to think,...? I never intended you to end up with the elphunts...we were co-creators...s**t happens...So delegate and come back to management...we have gotten huge and I can't do it on my own. I'm not sleeping. I'm drinking too much. Suffice it it say, I'm glad you're back.

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

Evil Empire, Donna? You better move your trailer a litttttle bit further from the elephunts. That packyderm methane gas is a real brain-killer. Me, of course, I'm not affected by it at all. Conditionin' you know!

-- Lon Frank (, March 05, 1999.

Excuse me,..I leased the best car....for clowns...a convertible...

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999. I HID the car, Lon was it is...

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

Leased - Least - lost? It was so little i couldn't find it either - nor the keys! And the conversion of car to convertible had nothing to do with my pocketkniefe can opernr getting bent. None at all. Not one little bent, er bit.

Now, about that there elephunt going by ..... you suppose he's got a big nail file or piece of sandpaper. Gotto go open me up a can of dash-board warm soup for lunch, and pocketkniefe is a bent dull, er. bit not sharp...

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.

Weeeeeeeeeeee! THis hers convertribule is funn HA HA HA hicuppp WEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee . An ders moore higgle huice to dwink in da bat seak toooooo Lonnn saz sew HAHAHAHAHAHa hicup Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

-- mobricheals (sonfoutds@hic.up), March 05, 1999.

Robert dear one....what do YOU intend to do in the circus????I have not seen your name bandied about for positions with jugglers and clowns....I've been busy with management chores, so...refresh my memory,...what is your position here??????

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

Isn't it obvious, my deer - chief cook and bottlecapwasher - I've got my own pocketkniefe too. Jean has taught how to serve cereal and milk, I even know which end of the bull (er cow - you know the four footed thing with them other things udderneath it) to milk (most of the time anyway), and I can make Skippy's peanut butter sandwhinches - as long as they don't get real technically difficult and have more than 3 ingredients - and I can usually heat water without burning it.

And I've been practicing (a lot!) on opening things up lately - so I just know I can get into anything - like a can of spagettio's, dinty less soup, or pistacio nuts.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.

Donna, just WHAT planet have you been on dear heart? Robert Cook is the tutu-wearing operator (and inventor) of the new elephunt pooper- scooper Zamboney.

And would SOMBODY PLEASE throw a net over Rob M. I know the car's rubber, but still....

-- Lon Frank (, March 05, 1999.

Blush. Welll - but inventing the Zamboni pooper scooper was just a hobby. Had to use the other two pocketkniefe blades though.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.

Excuse me, someone is posting with my name. I did not address Robert Cook, I was talking to Rob....

Who the hell is trolling..?

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

Hay! wad dat net ting on da kar? canwee eatit? - hungwee - nomoorre jiggggllejuze for mob - hicuppp - tim4sleeeeepeeeee hicupp uhoh i c vrybig bronepyle of somtin an it smlles ba ba ba baddddddd ooooooo holdminoze da kar knotmovino mor but i dizze dizze dizze Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzz

-- (sonofudst@Zzz.zzzz), March 05, 1999.

NO....the last post was NOT me..Troll alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Robert...? You've been Lon all along? I'm aghast! I guess I'm just a clown afterall.

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 05, 1999.

No! I've never been longer than I am right now. Well - did crash my bike into the back of van in CA one time - bent the van doors pretty bad with my bike helment - that might have squishe dme a little bit - didn'td oany otherd amaget hatI knowo f........I can still type like real good - mos tof thet imea nyway.... sometime my spaces like get squished a little bit too.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.

So who's gonna wash de browned red car? Oh - Skippy, ....come here Skippy. We have this littttle chore to do.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 05, 1999.


What's with trolls posting on our humor thread? The first "Donna impersonator" was trying to post like Hardliner does.

-- Gayla Dunbar (, March 05, 1999.

Im peeling better now. Whew - wondr what was in dat lasglass? Did some 1 ask about what my job iz? Well, I am the FRL reprehensible to dis here Circuz an today is a holidaze cauze we won a great warr aginst the evil plodders and so I am makign murry! Long Liv hour Flutecrake Fleedoms!

-- robmihceals (sonofdstu@bit.better), March 05, 1999.

Quick, RobM and all y'all (see, I speak southern too), whilst you're in the mood, post an epitaph--Greybear has a couple of good ones:

-- Old Git (, March 06, 1999.

THANKYOU!! Lon!! Ginger is back and happy and well fed and jumping through hoops. My sweet little cub! Now, on with those birds...

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 06, 1999.

Attn: The most high muckety-muck, Mr. Frank:

I resign.

I mean it.

Here you are gallavanting around (probably spent the $4.62 on jiggle juice yourself) while the band and I spent our days scooping prodigious piles of poop. And now I find out there was a Zamboni?!

The exalted head of circus clowns, Bozo, will hear about this!

P.S. Enclosed please find a bill for $75 to reimburse me for a new costume and rainbow wig. The old one got singed while I was working late one night. (Never light a candle around elephunt patties. WHOOOOSH!)

Shorty TC

-- newbiebutnodummy (, March 06, 1999.

Okay - let me if I got this straight - you being the investigative cubreporter and all and me either highly employed or unemployed highly - but not paid yet anyway

your previous costume got 'whoofed" - you need 75.00 for a new one, so you haven't got a new yet - and I've got a orange tutu available - wanna trade?

But then I'd be nekkid and you'd be clothed - I think I like it better the other way around. (Shoot, you'd like it better the other way around - Jean says I have bony shoulders!) There's a red sock round's about here someplace, whole bunch of right-shoes. Would they help?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 06, 1999.

Hey! That's my red sock - uh, well, I seem to have misplaced one last night when I was celebrating our FRL victory. Can I have it back Robert?

-- Rob Michaels (, March 06, 1999.

AWRITE!!!! WHO TRAINED THIS D@#N HYENA!!!! GET IT OFF ME !!!!! i KKIN SEE PERFECTLY WELL NOW!!!! That vertical pink blur is Robert, the horizontal blur is Rob, the pale pink one is, . . . . nevermind, I'll just run teh videocamera and tomorrow...... OOPS just tripped over a Seeress totally swacked on jiggle juice. . . hmmm, that tastes not bad. Not as good as teh ale hanging on teh livingroom door knob but . . .. wottakick!!!!!! erumerummmerrr . . . . mmmmmyy rrrecovverrry mmaay taake bbbit llonnggerrrr thththannn i ththuouoght...... MMmmmmmmOOOORREE JJJijjJijjIggle JJJJuice!!!


-- Chuck, night driver (, March 06, 1999.

It's your seeing hyena.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 06, 1999.

Watch it Chuck! One of the glasses that I had last night had a potion in it. Be careful. Someone had to throw a net over the rubber clown car or I woulda been a goner fer sure. I was PWI (posting while intoxicated). Now, put that jiggle juice down, ok? There is no way to tell if the one you are about to drink is loaded or not.

-- Rob Michaels (, March 06, 1999.

Of course he can't tell whethter the glass is loaded or not - that's why he has his seeing hyena!!!! - who has to check each bottle first. (I think we going to need a new seeing hyene shortly.)

Most bottle accidents at home happen with a bottle the owner thought was unloaded. Always check the cylinder first, uncork it carefully then keep it pointed into a safe direction.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 06, 1999.

Robert, I would like for you to return my really bright red sock to me now. You of all people know how I feel about this subject - remember poor Grandmama and her missing check, and the Dryer? I am waiting for your answer. This is important to me.

-- Rob Michaels (, March 06, 1999.

It's in the mail - It's in the mail I promise.

It's all zipped up and attached to the email forwarded via USPS to go the Fedex office for delivery to the nearest UPS office so the bike messager can take it cross-country - just waiting on the turtle to deliver it to the nearest train station ....

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 06, 1999.

Robert, Good Sir, thank you. You are a gentleman, regardless of this tutu thing. BTW, are there oneone things and threethree things, or only tutu things? Now I can sleep soundly, or without a sound, or with some quiet sounds, or with mostly quiet sounds and a few louder sounds, or soundlessly, or....

p.s. Aren't you glad I stopped posting as Robert so nobody would confuse the two of us - I am, besides, I am confused enough for both of us :)

I am still a bit concerned about our good Night Driver though. Somebody better have the net ready.

-- Rob Michaels (, March 06, 1999.

It's okay, his seeing hyene has a driver's license...but I forget if its US or metric.

See in Canadaianain they in metric but on the right of the street, and in the UK they drive in metric on the wrong side of the street, and in OZ and NZ they drive upside down in metric both sides of the street - at least in the middle of the country where its so flat they haven't invented corners yet. Now, in NZ they tried to drive in the middle of the country but got real wet......kinda of like in the middle of LA.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, March 06, 1999.

Rob and Robert, your babbling is confusing my birds (not to mention that Reb accent, Robert). Please go over by the big tent to keep talking. My parrots are starting talk in circles while sitting still - never a good sign; and if I get confused by them, I'm likely to recatch that dang tayping flu!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 07, 1999.

We just had a partial sighting of the uncle variety on the thread named '...Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"

Whadda u tink?

-- Greybear (, March 07, 1999.

I haven't seen the Unc thread yet, but I have been wondering if CtheND is reading his own posts or having his wife or the hyena do it for him? Any word on how the surgery went?

I'll go check out the Unc sighting right away!

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 07, 1999.

I've lost sync on when he was supposed to go in. But there is a post about 10 or 12 up from here by him on Mar 06.

-- Greybear (, March 07, 1999.

GB, if my memory isn't playing tricks on me, he said Friday. So I was quite surprised to see him here tonight (or last night, for those of us with time sense :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, March 07, 1999.

Tricia, by that I take it to mean that some of us have other kinds of sense? Well--that's a relief! Picked up some lion chow for Ginger this a.m., but am going to have to pass it on on a new thread--the little grey boxes with pink and blue shapes are back with a vengeance. Can't have new computer, not unless we sell the house. Must go before I crash, oh, got to hurry. . .

-- Deprived (not Depraved) Old Git (, March 07, 1999.

Our circus is so successful, the threads grow wild, but long and unwieldy. So I've started the next installment....check "New Questions".

--Bozette standing proudly in sheet and clown shoes.

-- Donna Barthuley (, March 07, 1999.

It's confirmed. He lurks.

-- Greybear (, March 07, 1999.

Ve onne da raod agin ...

Party 4...

The MCYY2K Circus Continued !!! 000a0F

Vhere it stoops nobuddy knows.

DiAna Zee Seeress

-- Diane J. Squire (, March 07, 1999.

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