DIETer GoING BuY BUy!!?!!!! SIcK oF ThiS SiTE!!! : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

DieTEr isSIcK oF tHiS SitE!!! It Is BoRiNg!!!! Buy BUy!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999


DieTEr are you off to Buy BUy more supplies you naughty thing you. Shame on you for stockpiling.

-- Buy (, February 26, 1999.

We'll miss you Dieter.

FaRE WelL OL bUddY

-- Greybear (, February 26, 1999.

Dieter, if you mean "bye-bye," then please reconsider. Yes, we can be very boring, but it's your job to make us less boring and you do it well. I know there are people who won't miss you--ignore them, they are infidels. Come on folks, let's all clap our keyboards together and bring little Dieterbell back to life.

-- Sad Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

Who is Dieter? Is Dieter an old time regular?

-- Suburb (, February 26, 1999.

Buy lots Dieter.

Who will you reincarnate as next time?

(Learn something useful out there).

Happy Y2K 2 U 2.


-- Diane J. Squire (, February 26, 1999.

DieTER is an oldtimer hiding out under a new name. I already made my guess as to who he is on another thread, and I'll wait to see if I can spot him if he comes back with yet a new, new name.


See yoU DIEteR

coMe bACk agAIN sometIME SoOn

SoME wilL MIss you, HERe


-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 26, 1999.

Suburb, Dieter may be old time, but he's not regular by any means.

-- Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

JACKASS IDIOT!!!!!! WHO IS THeINFIDEL whO is PosTED AS DIETER?????????? I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! DIEtER IS NOt LeaViNG, IS tHAT not tRUE???????

DiETeR IS NOt siCk oF HERE!!!! DIEtER IS sICK ONly, You JACKASS BUTTpLuG IDIoT!!!!!! WHY DO chILdREN PLAy wiTH DiEter??????? HOW loW Are yOu?????? LEAvE DIeTeR BE, YoU BuzZaRD!!!!!!! GoD HELp yOu whEN YOu aRE FounD BY DIeTER!!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.


-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

Wow. I knew it was too good to be true.

-- please (go@away.dieter), February 26, 1999.

Now that's an ironic twist. Dieter, someone posing as a troll, is trolled by an imposter troll.

-- David (, February 26, 1999.

HeY, YoU Are the JACkasS!!! I aM thE REaL DiEtER!!! Do not LISteN to ThiS IMPOsteR!!! ThiS SCounDRell JackAss, wHo CLaimS tO bE Dieter!!! I aM LeavIng, And thAt's ThaT!!! Don"T NobodY TalK Me OUt OF It!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

And I thought one deiter was bad...


-- Roland (, February 26, 1999.

pheww! this Dieter troll's troll scared me for a minute. I thought our pet troll was leaving us. He's a smart pet who does neat tricks, first one we've had. He can spell while hoping on the shift key at the same time.

But wait...if trolls have trolls, do troll's trolls have trolls too?

-- Chris (, February 26, 1999.

iT IS OBviouS MS. PONd is IT NOT??? DIETEr thE TROLL's TRoLL CAnnOT SPEll CAN He NOT??? HE doesN'T TYpE aS GOoD AS mE dOES hE NOT??? HE IS aN INfidEL IS HE noT????? aND I am THE REaL FOOLISH jACKASs AM I noT??????

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

DietER YoU ImPOSter SCoundrELLLLLLL! It isBuY BUy!!!! You stINkING BRAinLEsS MORon!!!! SigNed..... The REAl Dieter!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

One Dieter I kinda enjoyed, especially the recent posts when he made sense and seemed a little compassionate as well but two Dieters arguing with each other is more than I can handle. Will the real Dieter stand up? (and remain to entertain?) Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (, February 26, 1999.

It would be quite a sight to see these two dIEtER pigs in a mud wrestling match, though I sure wouldn't pay any money to see it.

-- King of Spain (, February 26, 1999.

Now, dieter, I posted prior thread that your Were humorous and we need more of that, but you are getting a bit shall we say cursive? Be nice and if you really are going buy buy, would you mind picking me up a few things? Thank you......ROFL

-- consumer (, February 26, 1999.

When doppelgangers meet, it's never good news.

-- Tom Carey (, February 26, 1999.

Who brought the popcorn. This is too good to miss! Hey...the Dieter Twins fired from dual cannons could just make The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus Vegas bound. We'll make a fortune.

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

ALLriGht you TWo DieterS MoVE OVer!!! Thios Is DieTer #3!!! I Am TAkiNG oVer! You TWo arE HIsToRy! How AbOUt JoinInG Me AnybOdY? Do We HAvE a Dietr #4 and A #5 and A #6 and a.....? LeT'S Kick SOme BUTTTTT!!!!~

-- Dietre #3 (, February 26, 1999.

Perhaps it's a case of MPD. We'll know for sure if DIeter says "I'm not leaving this site and neither am I".

-- Craig (, February 26, 1999.

LOL, Craig. If I'm ever up Ft.Mac way, I'll have to meet you. You always manage to crack me up :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 26, 1999.

yOU FOOlISH INfiDELJACKasS #3!!!!!!!! YOU aRE NOT I sAY NOT #3 BECAUSE I Am thE ReAL FOOL aM I NOT???????? YOu ARe A MorON bUTTHEad #4!!!!!!!! I PRECEDEd YOU diD I NOT?????????NOW ofF WITh YOU All INFiDEL JACKASS IDIOTS IMPOSterS!!!!!! YoU GIVe DIETer InDIGESTIons!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

Will the REAL Dieter please try to stand up?



-- Diane J. Squire (, February 26, 1999.

Perhaps the Europeans got sick of cloning sheep?

-- Faze the Nation (, February 26, 1999.

HEy loOseR jacKass!!!! FinD yOur oWn tuRf !!!! How SOrrY Are YoU???? diD DieTer hUrt yOur FEELinGS HMMMmm, Mr AnOnyMOuSY????? OR is tHis INVaR????? CRY BAbY HYeNA BUttPlUG!!!! dIEtETR DOes nOT CAre, JAcKAL if YoU TrY TO HUrT DIeTERS FEeLinGS!!!! plEAse conTiNue tO TRY To eQUal DIeTERS HuMOr anD WITTlyNESS, YoU HAVE COMe up Far shOrt, hAVE YoU NOT???? OnLY THE tRuE DIeTER KNows How BRAiNS BLeEd frOm fOolisHNESS, ARE yoU nOT IT's Best EXAmpLE?????

COMe on IMPosTER HYeNA JACKass, Can YOU maKE DieTER LAuGH??????

-- Dieter THe FiRst and OrigiNaL ONe (, February 26, 1999.

t8HIS I2S Th5E NE9w iMP4RovED DI7Eter!!! AlL O4TherS AR3E IN8FiDElS!!!

-- D5IEteR (, February 26, 1999.

PERhAPS yOu aRE THE CHIttUM bABy chILd whO POSeS AS jErRy tooo??????

plEASE shOW HOw tO MAKE me lAUgH, CAN YoU NoT???? yES??? NO??? aRE YoU HuMOROUS oR fOOLiSH ONLy?????

caN YOu HaIKU, ReCTum brEATh????

-- Dieter tHE OLD orIGiNAL (`), February 26, 1999.

Hey Slimfast,

Was it my joke about you trying to climb a ladder on the freeway? - I apologise, didn't mean to drive you and your your other multiple away...

-- Andy (, February 26, 1999.

Sorry, Dueling Dieters, the real Dieter shines through. Try another character of your own making.

-- Old Git (, February 26, 1999.

ANDY!!!!! YOU aRe heArTLESS IN YouR CRUeLtY TO DIeTER, ArE YOU nOt????? FOoLISH MAn!!!! WHy DO yOu taUnT DIeTERS NAMe?????? TRy To reMeMBER THaT DIEtER HAS bUt TWO SYLLabLeS, nOt THREE!!!!! inFIDeL!!!!! beGoNE!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.


Although I think you have some personal problems I wouldn't post under your name or anybody else's. Your welcome to stay here or leave at your convienence but I for one want you to stay.

To whoever is being a lowlife imposter:

You really should do some reflection and ask yourself why you feel like such an insecure dirtbag. The first thing you should do when you find that out is to come back here and apologize to everyone you have ever impersonated.

-- (, February 26, 1999.

THAnKs tO YoU SIr!!!! ONE DoWN, YES???? diETER wAS CRUeL TO YOU, AS IS dIeTers waY, BEreft Of HUmaN FEeLiNGS DIeTER IS????? DIeTER TRYed TO Be as sOrrY AS DIEtERCAN To you!!!! DiETER DoEs nOt poSE AS oTHers, NeVER HAs DIeTER EVER stOLeN a CYbER HANDLE, haS DIeTER??? NIEN!!! NIEN,NIEN,NIEN!!!!!! NEvER HAS dIEteR POSEd AS AnoTHER!!!!! NEVEr EvEr!!!!!! JACKASS POSERS arE InfaNTIle scUM, IS ThAT Not so???? gOod MOrNING TO yoU SiR!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

Picture this. Central Casting...some poor producer pulling his hair out trying to find JUST the right voice over performer to play Dieter.

Cut to scene - Fog...bubbly swamp, half tones. Voice of Yoda (Frank Oz) now doing the best Dieter he can do.

"SOrry wILL yOU ALL bE,... YESsSsSS!!!!!"

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.



1/2 OF BUTTheAD'S bUNghOLio VOiCE MIxED TO 1/2 SMaLL CHiLD BOy in tHE "SHINinG" WHeN HE SAyS "rEdRuM!!!!REDRuM!!!!" PLuS 1/3 TENNeSee TUxEdO AND 1/4 LOLLy poP GUiLD SONg

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

Donna, I can't believe you just said that. Just as I was reading Dieter's last post, I was thinking I was wrong earlier in putting Dieter's voice as the Wizard of Oz. After reading so many of his messages in a row here and trying to weed out the true Dieter, I realized the true Dieter sounded more like a sarcastic Yoda. Then I read your post and roared!!

Does anyone else put voices to some of the characters here in Yourdonville? Sometimes I can't help it. Like I always picture Diane Squire as the voice of Diane Chambers from Cheers. There are others, but you get the picture. Or don't you?

Maybe I'm just a little strange . . .

-- David (, February 26, 1999.

WHY Do fOoliSH IDIoTS reaD THrEADS ThEY HATE????? WhAT KInd oF A thREe TOed SLotH CONtiNUES ON????? whAT DuLLaRDRY NimwiTTEdness IS THAT???? You aRE a FOOL!!! YeS?????

I haTe yOU!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

David, I understand completely, and have imagined not only voices but faces. I'm fortunate in that my dearest Y2K pal and I have exchanged photos and call each other sparingly on the phone.

Gee, Dieter, I didn't mean to offend you with the Yoda reference. I rather like Yoda. It was not meant as insult. Tell me this won't change your mind about being our circus' spectacular cannon star?

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

I don't know which is the real Dieter here, but is it the Dieter message or typology you all love ? If it is the typology, you can be your own dieter by using my PERL coded Dieter simulator (took less then 5 minutes to code), given as shareware below. Then we should have many more than 2 Dieters...

Sample Input -> Output:

Dieter, Although I think you have some personal problems I wouldn't post under your name or anybody else's. Your welcome to stay here or leave at your convienence but I for one want you to stay. To whoever is being a lowlife imposter: You really should do some reflection and ask yourself why you feel like such an insecure dirtbag. The first thing you should do when you find that out is to come back here and apologize to everyone you have ever impersonated.

DIETer, AlTHOugh I THInk YoU HAVe somE persOnal PROBLeMS I wOUldn'T POst UNDEr youR Name oR ANYbody ELSe's. Your wELCOme To STay HERE or LeavE AT yoUR COnVIENEnc e BUT I For ONE Want YOU TO stay. To WHOever IS bEInG A LoWLife iMPOster: YOU r ealLY SHould Do SOMe RefleCTion and ASk yoURSelF WHY yOU FEel lIKe SUCh AN INsecu rE dirtBAG. The FirsT THIng YOU shouLD dO when you Find THat OUT is tO come BACk hERE anD APOlogiZE TO evERyonE you hAVe eveR IMpERSOnaTED.

# PERL program: Deiter-ize an input paragraph#
# Try me on UNIX, Mac OS, or NT!#
# #
# In keeping with the random nature#
# of Deiter's contributions, the output#
# will be slightly different on differnt#
# runs with same input.#
# For all on this forum who now loathe and fear#
# computers, I want to show how artificial intelligence#
# can make our lives so much better....#
# Author: Blue Himalayan, bh@k2.y, All Rights Reserved#
# This Program will work on 2000-1-1, if it has a computer#
# to run on.#
### Seed the random function#
srand ( time () ^ ($$ + ($$ << 15)));#
### Get some madness from Deiter...#
print "Care to Deiter-ize your words, for posterity, if any ?";#
my $letter_string = <>;#
$length = length $letter_string;#
$start = 0;#
$flip = int(rand 2) + 1;#
### Go!#
while (1 == 1)#
$end = int(rand 5) + 1;#
$dei_chunk = substr($letter_string,$start,$end);#
if ($flip == 1) { $dei_chunk =~ tr/a-z/A-Z/; $flip = 2;}#
else {$flip = 1;}#
substr($letter_string,$start,$end) = $dei_chunk;#
$start += $end; # In Buddhism it is said: "The end is the same as the beginning"#
### Had enough of this nonsense yet ?#
if ($start >= $length)#
print "$letter_string\n";#
} #

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.


-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

Dieter, while I admire your John-Henry-like dedication to free-hand artistry, you simply must realize dear boy that the days of the craftsman are over, automation will inevitably prevail in every sphere, including dieterization of keyboard input. While you spend precious minutes carving your text with the shift-lock on/off, I can create miles of text in microseconds, fully Dieterizer, probably 99% compliant to full Dieter Standards Board specifications. The steam drill has simply "beat you down" dear boy, don't feel bad, we will all be assimilated eventually. By the way congratulations, you are the only one who noticed that a Blue Himalayan is a cat.

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.

This simulator is great! Do you use in conjunction with word do you get it to do it's magic when wanting to annoy others at discussion boards? ROFLMAO

BTW Himalayans are beautiful cats. Like the Russian Blues, too!

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

Why, I could Dieterize all of JBillyBoy's State of the Union Address in one keystroke, less time that it would take poor John Henry there to write InFiDeL!!!!!!!!!...

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.

Donna, all you gotta do is cut 'n paste from the start of the Perl comments (1st '#' line) down to end of message, into any plain text file. Name it '' or '' :-)

Then, if you have NT, just open a command window (looks like DOS :-( and invoke Perl from its directory:

c> c:\perl\progs\bin\perl c:\junk\

It'll prompt you to input your paragraph!!!!! No bugs, no crash, y2k compliant!!!!

If you have Apple or UNIX, you can use Perl from there also.

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.

Dieter dearest boy, since your economic future is now indisputably dim, as I have put you out of work, in fact wiped out your field altogether with my software Frankenstein, I'm willing to step up to my responsibility for securing a small but livable annuity for your old age. I will hire you as my programming assistant to make the following trivial extensions to my program:

1. make it read from a text file rather than screen prompt
2. make it add strings of '!!!!!', '!!??!!!', etc. at random word boundaries.
3. make it insert 'jackal', 'infidel', and similar terms of opprobrium at unpredictable moments (we have 'rand()' function for that, study my code to see how to use).

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.

yuck, perl

you're stuck in the backwaters of the internet

maybe dIeTEr'S capitals are a code?

-- write a real program (, February 26, 1999.

Infidel ! Java sucks ! Perl is much cooler, from a minimalist standpoint. Let's see your Java version of - you have 5 minutes to code it.

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.

Your un-Dieter like characteristics will be assimilated into our own conciousness.

Resistance is Futile!

-- (, February 26, 1999.

Somehow I always thought of Dieter's voice like the 'French Taunter' from Montey Python's movie The Holy Grail.

-- Deborah (tauntyou@2nd.time), February 26, 1999.

I refer interested reader to the infantile "perl vs. java" exchange above. THIS, not management stupidity, is the reason for y2k! You see, programmers love, more than anything, to be cool and to impress other programmers. They've always thought more about that than about boring stuff like reliability, solving the user's problems, etc. Thus at one time saving 2 bytes was really "cool". Now it isn't but programmers have moved on to other pointless disputes about coolness, hipness, what's a "real" program, etc. leaving nobody behind to fix all the date fields.

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 26, 1999.

Or in the words of Henry David Thoreau: ...,"simplify, simplify, simplify!"

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 26, 1999.

HeY, DeITeR BaBy! Move OvEr!!! I'M TakIng OVer! You ScouNDreL INfiDELL!!! WhY DO ChIlDReN LIkE InFIDeL DiEtEr#1??????!!!??? WhY YoU SAY ChIlDrEn PlAy WiTh DIEtER?????? Is DiEtEr A PErVErT ? Does DIEter Like To Play With ChilDReN? You PLAy WItH MY CHILDREN And I Will BeaT Your BrAins In!???!!! You HEar!!! DeitEr #4 OvEr AnD OuT!@!!djhkfoghidt7dr5b435.,ey,9 e yidfzfjigoj atketkg798328943890128

-- Dieter #4 (, February 26, 1999.

Is DiEteR #1 A TRANsvEsTiTe???????!!!!?? He MuST BE ONE, BEcaUse HE KeePs ON BRingING UP THE IssUE!!!!!! He iS MORon FoR SurE!!!!

-- Dieter #5 (, February 26, 1999.

Until I read Dieter's description, I thought of this person sounding more like Dr. StrangeLove.

Dieter definitely has a unique way of communicating...if it were any other way, then Dieter wouldn't be Dieter :-)

-- Tim (, February 26, 1999.

Is it possible that Dieter had some sort of nervous breakdown and all his cumulative personalties shattered? I see now Dieter #5 (no Jane Doe puns please) has begun posting. Is it one and the same, just different fragments of a shattered human? I hope that if it isn't true the other 4 Dieters would just move on and get their own material. I am not known for buying anything that says "New and Improved" so if the imposters don't mind... beat it! I like the original version.

-- (, February 26, 1999.

OK???? YEs???? nO????? yES???? HUH????? hELLo???? VErY WELL TheN YoU MAy aDd ThaT!!!!! YeS??? DOEs DIeTeR FART in yOur gENeRAL DIReCTiON????? ENoUGH DIeTER FOoLERY!!!!!! JAcKAL INfIDELS!!!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

pS TO tHE JAcKASS INfIDEL INPOsTEr!!!!! DIeTER WATCHES aND WeEps FOR YOur SAd sELf, IS tHis nOT So????? yES???? YoU HAvE YET TO SHow DiEter AN orIGiNAL THOuGHt!!!!! IS THaT WHy dIEter FakER Has suCh SADnEss????? LoNELY pUTTpLUG LOSEr WHo haS NOT Any rEAL LiFE???? wHo is SO SAD as To tRY TO eqUAL thE ORIgInaL DIeTRE?????? How mUCh piTY IS FoR thAt???? tRY bUT CAnNot???? TeARS ArE DIeTER CRYiNG FOR YOU!!!!! Booo hOOooo hoooOOO!!!!!

mAKe dIEtER LAuGH, CAn yOu???? No??/??? cRyING NoW IS OrIgINAL DIeter fOR SAD fAKE DIeter!!!!! Show huMor foR dieter pLEAsE?????

-- Dieter (, February 26, 1999.

Dieter and Blue Himalayan --- Blue's program for generating Dieterisms may just be the "silver bullet" for fixing Y2K that we have all been waiting for! It would certainly make the code of most of the programmers who have worked with/for me more readable ...... DiETeR, you're a gENiUs! Someone, contact dE jAGeR .....

-- BigDog (, February 26, 1999.

Big Dog, LOL! ('tiL TOld To hUSh bY HUbby WaTCHing tV).

-- Tricia the Canuck (, February 27, 1999.

Looks like Dieter cannot spell his own name! Who in the heck is DiEtrE?????? Get with it DiEtfartER!!!

-- Kadiddlehopper (, February 27, 1999.

DiiiiieEEEEEEtttTTTteEEEEEEEEEErrrrrrrrrRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GEt yOUR FATNEss OVeR HErE aND STOP FOOLiNG arOUNd WitH THe FoOLISh InfIDELS!!!!!!!!! ThEY ArE WASTinG YoUR pRECIOus TImE AnD BrAIn aRE THEy NOT?????? Go CHANGe BAbY DIEtEr'S diAPER and pUT OUT ThE TRAsH!!!!!!!!!

AnD YOU TheRE INFIdeLS IMPOSTErS YOu mAKe MRs DIeteR LauGH aT YOUR ImPOstERLy aTTEmpTS At fOOLIng tHE inFIDEls!!!!!! YoU aRe FARTbraINS aRE YoU NOT?????YES!!! NOw BeGoNE!!!!!!!!! I HaTE YOU!! I HATE YoU All!!!!!!! I haTE YOU MOST OF AlL DiETEr!!!!!!

-- Mrs. Dieter (, February 27, 1999.


-- Dieter (, February 27, 1999.

I always read Dieter in Arnold Schwartzen-whatsit, you know, HIS voice. Right now, I hear "Crrush your enemies, drive dem before you, hear de lamentations of deir women" in Arnold's voice but I SEE it in Dieter's typing style.

-- Old Git (, February 27, 1999.

Oh! Dieter, please!

Pahahahaleeeze don't go! I can't face life without your steady hand upon the keyboard. And the jackels would close in upon me and gnaw the marrow of my bones! Pullllezz, consider my fate, and don't go away.

Oh, uh,...but if you do,...uh,..can I have your parking space?

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Vell, I beenz postink ovher hon ...

The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus 000XiI

Buttee I cee thiz need to b hear 2. Sew ...

I suddenlee hearz a funee soun! Lostz voice panikee.

Its Dieter beeink attacked ...

Why do tHESe foOls jab At diEter's livEr?????
whAt has dIeter doNE????

He try to prtek himsel but poppll in back juz keep therz laughink ...

Laughing Hyena (Not SILENT JACKALS)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (, February 27, 1999.

Noticed the cat business on your first post old BH, probably wouldn't have if my daughter had not printed out a ream of stuff about them a day or so before. She wants to buy one for some reason. Just don't figure its polite to say anything about someone's 'handle'.

-- Paul Davis (, February 27, 1999.

I, likewise, made reference to your felineness, BH. I offer the thread "Cris you're an Idiot" as exhibit A.

We had a BH once, the cat, that is, and called him "Brunswick" because he looked like a furry bowling ball with a tail. (No implications extended or intended upon present company) :)

-- Lon Frank (, February 27, 1999.

Dieter, you're not supposed to run away from the circus, you're supposed to run away to the circus. Come back. We need you. And the cannon is missing you.

-- Donna Barthuley (, February 27, 1999.

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