i think i'm gonna kill myself

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 16, 2005

Answers

Response to -

Why ??

You never shall know what the next day will bring , like , births who sing , the next spring , summer , all the good things , birthday- parties , the lottory , good food , etc ....

Salut & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), February 16, 2005.

Response to -

soms is der nooit ne weg terug...en is alles wa ge had is verlore,voor altij...en hede geen kracht om in iets nieuws te gelove...want alle hoop lijkt al uitgeput te zijn...

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 16, 2005.

Response to -

mja...et leven suckt he

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 16, 2005.

Response to -

There are things in life yet to be experienced. There are people whom you have yet to influence, teach, and love. Life does not have solely one purpose. Their many reasons yet to be discovered.

.............

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), February 16, 2005.

Response to -

Ik ben misschien geen goede raadgever , maar:

Je mag zelf de moed NOOIT opgeven , want dan loopt het volledig fout !! Echter niet elke dip is dezelfde , de mijne was niet niet zo'n zware , als gevolg van een ongeval , een hele tijd was ik buitenstrijd , en ik heb van dat ongeval nog steeds last !! Ach , ik heb er mee leren leven !! Echter mensen die van alles meegemaakt hebben , dus continu in de miserie zitten , denken helaas anders over het leven , echter laat je niet gaan a.u.b. !! Besef 1 ding heel goed , gedane zaken , nemen geen keer , m.a.w. eenmaal de knop uit , er is geen terugweg meer !! Probeer positief te blijven , het is moeilijk , maar probeer !! OOk praten is een goed begin om er terug bovenop te geraken , dus .... !!!!

Maybe my advice is not the best , but:

NEVER quit , 'cause than you really going down under , plz , don't let it happen , don't let yourself go !! But realize , not every case is the same , like mine , it was caused by a crash , I was "out" for several months and actually I still am , but I can live with that !! But people who live in real misery , that's something else , if you always look to the dark side , it pulls you down under , than you gonna think like that , and that's bad !!!! Realize this , what's done , cannot be undone !! Try for once & actually always , look to the bright sight of life (think positive) , it really helps , even if you don't see it that way !! You know , also , start talking about your problems is a good start , so .... !!

Salut & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), February 16, 2005.

Once you live , you live, sdqa.

That is why Laurent's advice is good. Laurent like you is a nonbeliever who has learned to appreciate life. We only have one on this Earth. Don't waste it.

Jim and Rod what kind of problems I have been facing in the last 3 years. Not even people who believe are exempt from them.

Hang on!!!!

Half of your problems well be gone by June. The one that bugs you the most by September.

The Christian Yahwist

-- Elpidio Gonzalez (egonval@yahoo.com), February 16, 2005.

sdqa-- I would hope not!, Because you have yet to really scratch the surface to fullfil the good which you been sent here to achieve.

You are going through a Temporary test/challenge for which I am certain you will overcome as you have with others. You have a good spirit which WILL continue to positively affect many people over your LONG lifetime.

Things will come back together for you shortly. Just hang tight and smile in victory!

-- Michael G. (NoEmail@Nowhere.no), February 16, 2005.

but certain things are gone forever...and i just can't live with that...my only hope somewhere is that everything gets back like it was before...but i know that that is impossible to happen...i know,suicide ain't a solution...but i don't wanna live like this...i don't actually know what to do...i was so sad and angry and i couldn't talk to anyone so i just posted this here...

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 16, 2005.

Take the chance to blow off steam now, you'll feel better and I believe that you have people here who do care for YOU and will listen, without passing judgement.

Will things get back to how they were? No I suspect you will find them to become much Better then you can see right now or then they were. And it may not become obvious until at a later date when you are able to look back and compare how much things have improved.

Life is a progression of building blocks, some seem really heavy and suck but when you get past them you will find many which are light and raise you higher and higher with each day, those are the ones you want to focus on and know that there are many, many more of them then the others.

-- Michael G. (NoEmail@Nowhere.no), February 16, 2005.

Your cry for help , by posting your personal anger / feelings , that is ok !! It's a good start to let help yourself !! "Open yourself" , let go your frustrations about everything what's locked inside of you , it's a good start for your cure !!

Salut & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), February 16, 2005.

I have attemtped suicide int he past.

Depression leads to such.

I dont know nessisarily if you are realy though, no offence but you sdo seem to post for attention.

Noentheless, this si why I am a Christain, what else can give direciton, and hroguh direction pripose? we need direction and prupose, and htis is why rleigion exists, to guide ne to a better way of life and let ne knwo tomorrow is worth living. ( Thi si why Im not rellay an "End times" sort, that and I fnd it silly to worry of events of tomorrow when today's events are at hand.)

You need to put things into perspective and try to undertsand that Life, as with everythign else, is both agame and a battle, oen must learn lesons and lead life before it can have vlae, and direciton helps with this. Shallow life lads ot shallow rewards, and you place no vlaue on anythng. Sex, love, commitment, friendship, all seen in he tansetory lence of "Feelings", hwo you perosnally felel moment to mment.

Value of eahc event to you is base don how toyu feel, and when you loose itnerst, it losoes vlaue, and the end is feelign empty, cheated.

So, plae vlaue in others, in acts, in youself, and se wat happens. You wull see why restraint makes likfe mroe worhtwhile and wy we have such rules as you mokc, and then, you wll see beinf Death, and be able to live.

-- ZAROVE (ZAROFF3@JUNO.COM), February 16, 2005.

Remember, you must choose ti vlaue wht toy value, so vlaue life, and he best way to do his is o Value God and his word.

-- ZAROVE (ZAROFF3@JUNO.COM), February 16, 2005.

sdqa,

Don't do it,--- its ok to consider, as a "free thinker," but give it some time. You're too young; you have a whole lifetime of wonderful possibilities ahead of you. If you continue to be here.

THis is just a bad time. We all have them, and they pass. You seem a little strident, your give grief and get some back, maybe because of what you're going through, but a good fellow at heart. I saw that from the beginning.

You've stirred things up a bit here and got some thinking going and communication flying about. I've enjoyed some of the threads you started. And thats a good thing (You little devil !!!)

You can and will do good things if you're alive. The world needs good people. I don't care if you aren't in love with Catholicism. I didn't much care for it myself at a point back in time either. You don't have to become one. I never thought I'd come back and I'm still not that good at it. Your life is important, whether you're a believer or an atheist. (my theology)

Stick it out. If you "off yourself" you'll very likely miss the coming goodtimes that could brighten your spirits and let your positive attributes make a difference. Otherwise, the world could end up missing your contributions, and that would be a loss.

I know this last bit doesn't jibe with your current belief,--- but 25 years ago I never would have thought that I would one day say a rosary for someone who shared many of the beliefs and conceptions I held when I was your age.

Hope to have future exchanges!

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 16, 2005.

Hey things will get better, "Though your sorrow will last for the night, joy comes in the morning." GREAT joy! You would miss that, and the people who love you SDQA . . . think about them and what your death would put them through!!! Unbearable sorrow for those who love you! Please don't do that to them and don't do it to yourself!

Love,

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), February 16, 2005.

I'm glad you trust people enough on the forum to post your thoughts here. An awesome thing.

May I ask what is "gone forever" that makes you so sad and angry?

Our situations may be different, yet every one of us has experienced sadness and anger..and many of us have also experienced feelings of great sorrow..feelings of not knowing how we can possibly cope with life.

When I first became sick and then as I got worse and had to deal with being in a wheelchair...man, I have to admit that there were some really rough hills to climb in my mind. Now I do "wheelies" and laugh going down my street at 6.5MPH, enjoying the wind in my hair. Life IS good again..Nobody could have told me that 5 years ago..at least I wouldn't have believed them.

I wish I could stay up late and wait to see your response..I really do. I'll look first thing in the morning though..meanwhile, I will pray that God reaches out and touches your heart during the night..lifting you up.

-- Lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), February 16, 2005.

"but certain things are gone forever"--SDQA.

That is very true. I experienced the same feelings back in 1988, Decemmber 17. My entire world came tumbling down. It seemed as if there was no purpose at all to continue with my life. It was completely ruined. I could not talk or eat. I found myself completeley shut off from the world. I was suffering.

My life today is the best that it has ever been. I think God showed me my errors. I look back and can see how wrong things were. Of course, it was going to end as it did. I now have myself--a better person. I have a loving wife who believes in God and Christ. I have two children who are the hopes of our lives. I have my career that I almost gave up. I have a home. I have friends I could not have in the rat race I tried to live in. I have my renewed faith in God and Christ. God woke me up and gave me life, again. Sometimes we suffer in order to find our real place in this world. Our real place really isn't in the world. It is in His Kingdom. Once we accept that, everything in this world cannot damage us.

SDQA

You are much tougher than you think. You will get over this pain, but with time.

.........

-- rod (eleyrod@yahoo.com), February 17, 2005.

Laurent like you is a nonbeliever who has learned to appreciate life. We only have one on this Earth. Don't waste it.

You can count on that !! I love life , it's fun , everyday you'll learn something new , a surprise , but that's the fun of life !!

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), February 17, 2005.

thanks so much everyone for your advice...it's just like my whole life is messed up...already for some time and there was this one thing i really believed in and that gave me hope and that really meant everything to me...and now that's gone also......and i can't get rid of this pain,but i can't live with it...and i can't take things as they stand now,but there's no way back...and nothing can really make me happy,nothing really means something to me,my life has no direction,it's without purpose,i lost complete faith in myself and everything...i don't exactly know what to do...and the only thing that kinda still keeps me going somehow is hope for is a way back although i know that a miracle is needed for that...

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 17, 2005.

SDQA, you ARE so very very valuable!

How we all wish we could carry this burden for you. How we hate the fact that you are suffering so much pain! There is so much pain in this world, so much grief, so much hatred. And yet, SDQA, there is something very special about you, you are a tender heart with a passionate soul. You are beautiful because He made you beautiful!

**********

I take you to the Garden of Gethsame with me, SDQA, to meet the Lord in that place where He experienced utter desperation, that place of pure isolating, penetrating torment, and I unite your sufferings there with Him in that terrible place, so that as you experience the agony of your Garden of Gethsame WITH Christ, you will also experience the electrying POWER of His resurrection! The inexpressible joy of salvation... salvation from darkness, salvation from despair, salvation from the misery of being alone and without Him. ***********

Oh SDQA, PLEASE allow Him to touch you. Just reach out with the very little faith you have, no matter how small, and give it to Him. Release your suffering to Him in the Garden, and let the oceans of love that He has for you, pour forth on your parched soul.

He is waiting! Go to Him NOW!

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), February 17, 2005.

sdqa, what is now gone? It would help if you shared that much. I'm wondering if someone special left you and the pain you're feeling might be the sense of loss and rejection that follows.

David

-- non-Catholic Christian (no@spam.com), February 17, 2005.

yeah david...someone very special left me...

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 17, 2005.

I caught my ex in bed with another woman about 12 years ago. Boy, did that suck. I cried for a solid week. I took a week off of work just so I could cry. I laid on my sun tanning cot out in the backyard bawling like a baby. I remember this because the grass was REALLY tall and I really needed to mow it, but I didn't care, I just laid there all week watering the ever growing grass with my tears!

I left him after that (he was a real jerk), he divorced ME, and I moved WAY across the other side of the county on a couple of acres. This guy came by my house one day to see if I needed by yard plowed (it was a real mess) so I said "Sure." Well he ended up turning that 3 hour job into an all weekend job.

Interesting thing though, was that as he was telling me about his exwife and what a terrible mess she was, and how she used to run around on him, etc., etc., and I shared my "ex" stories a funny thing started to happen . . . I began to feel I knew this gal! So I said "Um, what was your ex's name?" "Joanne" he says. OH MY GOSH! "Does she go by Jo?" I asked, "Yes" he said . . . Yep, you got it, I was meeting the exhusband of the woman that slept with MY exhusband. And guess what? We were married 2 years later! Been happily married for 10 years now.

FATE, you say! Or does God just REALLY have a sense of humor!

Hang in there SDQA. I PROMISE YOU, IT WILL GET BETTER!

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), February 17, 2005.

Dear SDQA;

I am not sure if you are serious or simply seeking to get a response from the readers of this board… but if you are serious… Please follow this advice – go immediately to a licensed health care provider. Life events or a spiritual crisis may seem to be the cause of your feelings, but they are not. The feelings and behavior you have described are commonly associated with depression. Depression is a medical condition that needs to be attended to by medical treatment (counseling and drug therapy).

Under normal circumstances human beings can deal with almost any crisis and traumatic event, recovering from the pain and grief they cause. Our faith, family, and friends help us in that normal recovery.

Depression is when those internal natural recovery mechanisms fail to function. Even when faith, family, and friends try to help, they usually cannot. Thinking good thoughts will not change depression.

The following people and agencies can refer you to appropriate help: clergy, family physician, health care clinic at college, community health care clinic, emergency rooms at hospitals. Please contact the health care professional and tell them exactly what you are feeling…. Pray for healing while you go for help now!

-- Robert Fretz (pastorfretz@oldstonechurchonline.org), February 17, 2005.

Very sorry, sdqa. Most of us have been there as well - it hurts more than one can imagine or ever thought possible. Some vow never to get that close again because it hurts so bad. When coupled with what this person obviously meant to you due to your circumstances, I can understand how much more devastating that can be.

My only suggestions are: (1) do what you're doing here - VENT, it's a good thing to talk about it, (2) wait it out, time does diminish the pain. might take weeks or even months, but eventually, the pain subsides, (3) get busy, get involved with something to take your mind off of the pain, and (4) most importantly, take all that emotion, love and trust that you invested in this person and focus it on God. Not trying to yank your chain at all. But God will never let you down and He is worth that kind of effort.

Think about it. Just trying to help.

David

-- non-Catholic Christian (no@spam.com), February 17, 2005.

Gail,

That is a very weird thing!! Holy cow! Hey, that doesn't quality as some sort of kinky delayed wife-swapping story does it??? :-)

David

-- non-Catholic Christian (no@spam.com), February 17, 2005.

Hey Dave, It was very definitely a "candid camera" moment!!

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), February 17, 2005.

Harry/Larry/Laurence/Terry, which one is truly your name?.

Harry K (Har@,,..) on 2005-02-16: Response to Attempting Suicide? Harry K. (Har@,,..) on 2005-02-16: Response to suicide Larry F (Lar@furst.com) on 2005-01-31: Response to Hello from Camp Pendleton Larry (Larry@priv.com) on 2005-01-19: Response to the worst moment of 2004 Lawrence (Larry5gt6@yahoo.com) on 2004-12-31: Response to How should we Christians handle our money? Terry (aa222@yahoo.com) on 2004-12-29: Response to MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL ON ASK HJESUS

Stick to one.

As for my lfe, I have been called so many names....that I got used to them.

The Christian Yahwist

-- Elpidio Gonzalez (egonval@yahoo.com), February 17, 2005.

i have this feeling like she's perfect for me and that i'm never gonna find anyone better...i've known so many people and really,nobody's like her,she's so special and everytime i meet someone new i get this feeling more and more...she's the best thing that ever happend in my life,yet nothing caused me so much pain...when i am with her there's nothing that can bring me down no matter how many problems i have,i feel so perfect and so free with her and i miss her every second when she's not with and we have split up once before and weren't togther for a very long time and i couldn't forget her...i don't know how i am ever gonna get over this...

-- sdqa (sdqa@sdqa.Com), February 17, 2005.

sdqa

I know sthe words "trust me --- you'll get over it" are of little value to you now. You'll probably be tempted to say it to someone someday, and it will be just as useless to them. Its a hind sight thing.

All I can tell you is, "I've been there myself." Lost love causes one of the most gut wrenching states you can find yourself in. Its not only mental but you can also feel physically sick which compounds everything about the condition.

Everynow and then, you find yourself doing or thinking about something else---an unexpected moment of "normalcy" --- then BAM in its back on you--- and that flash of normalcy seemed like a peculiar, almost 'out of place' moment in time.

I feel for you, and hope you can get past this soon. For me the wreck of lost love always took time. I can say that I never wanted to kill myself, but being alive didn't feel overly important in view of the way I felt. Dispair and hopelessnes can be overpowering so you have to be on guard.

Ultimately, its like those "moments" or "flashes of normalcy" that happen in the midst of dispair get longer and longer over time - --finally displacing the hopelessness. Gradually you find your life is back --- with a little (managable) chip in it.

The above may be a badly worded description of the way it has happened to me, it may make no sense at all to someone else. Thats why the "trust me" part seems easier to say.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 17, 2005.

"an unexpected moment of "normalcy"

Jim, You know I think I experienced that once. Very Strange indeed!

-- Michael G. (NoEmail@Nowhere.no), February 17, 2005.

Good to "see" you Sdqa..I looked for you this morning.

I have to say that if everybody who lost a lover killed themselves, there would be bodies piled up all over the world. It's so hard to imagine that any other human being could ever feel as deeply as you do right now about that one special person..but yes, there are indeed millions of people who experience that "perfect" love..and also have that "perfect" person leave them..you bet.

And it HURTS..really, really HURTS. I'm not that old that I cannot remember the pain myself..and I recall distinctly the FIERCE emotion that I couldn't possibly imagine putting one foot in front of the other without him being beside me. I think I cried myself to sleep every night for nearly 6 weeks, and cried most of the day light hours as well..never felt so miserable..I was 23 years old. A few months later I was surprised to find myself happy again. Truly happy.

Another poster recommended that you get some professional help. I agree. There's a vast difference between feelings of saddness and feelings of wanting to kill yourself. Sometimes,people get so distraught over things such as this that they simply stop thinking reasonably.."talking" on a forum is certainly better than nothing at all..yet if you are really so upset that you are having thoughts of suicide come and go..you ARE in need of professional help. Call a suicide Hot Line and talk one-on-one with a live person. That MAY be just what you need right now.

We all want you to feel better, and that will take time..in the meanwhile, we want you to be safe.

-- Lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), February 17, 2005.

Your post was bearly worth responding to. It was so nasty, but I'm a well known putz; I can't help it.

I hope its you that has the balls. I doubt it as you hid behind your computer, looking for people to hate. Your post has a big sound with a little coward at its core.

THat being said. I hope you don't pull any triggers. But you strike me as a rotten person. I hope you prove me wrong. Maybe you're having a bad day?

Hope this all gets deleted as its not worth the cyber ink.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 18, 2005.

I've just finished reading a number of your other posts. I don't know what to think. You didn't sound half bad till I read the above. Whats wrong? Maybe there is some good rumbling around inside of you, but you would never know it from what you just said.

Do you have a point? Or are you just here to stir up a bunch of abc's.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 19, 2005.

Actually--- my mistake---

It wasn't Harry I read so there was nothing "good" going on. You might as well get rid of it all. Really nothing above is worth keeping. Unless an illustration of a rotten person can be viewed as something not to be like.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 19, 2005.

Wow!

It looks like mayber Harry impersonated you Jim in an email I received. I thought it was from you, Jim. Now that I think about it, it was probably from "Harry". Are you emailing me with a Verizon address?

......................

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), February 19, 2005.

I guess that now it is only a matter of Harry stopping with his provocations or making a little phone call to his Internet Provider.

Harry?

..................

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), February 19, 2005.

Hi Rod

I didn't e-mail you. Definitly an impersonation. I do have verizon. I just got it as DSL service. My regular e-mail address still works.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 19, 2005.

I did e-mail you a good number of weeks back to complement you on a running thread you were posting on. I thought your answers were superb. Nothing since then.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), February 19, 2005.

Ah! ok. That was you. Sorry, I got spooked.

............

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), February 19, 2005.

sdqa, you will get over this in 4 months. You will laugh about it then.

I have over 250 high school students. Your case gets repeated many times a month.

In the meanntime it hurts.

The Christian Yahwist

-- Elpidio Gonzalez (egonval@yahoo.com), February 19, 2005.