non-baptised married to non-annulled Catholic

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I have never been married nor have I been baptised. I am currently attending RCIA classes and was told that I wouldn't be able to get baptized until my wife gets an annullment. We were married by a justice of the peace. Why can't I be baptized? What should I do? Can I even attend classes? I'm being called to God but there is this tremendous road block in my way for something I was unaware of when I married my wife. I was never married. What to do? She is unwilling to get annulled and I love my wife but I what to become Catholic. Is there any hope.

-- Ben (gambitbdm@yahoo.com), January 29, 2005

Answers

Wow..what a mess. I know it's possible, yet I am stunned that the RICA people didn't advise you..they just kind of left you hanging there without any further information than "you cannot be baptised"??

The Church teaches that : 1. There is no such thing as "re-marriage". Any marriage is considered to be a valid marriage unless a Catholic marriage Tribunal reviews all of the circumstances surrounding the bond, and determines that there was no valid marriage. ONLY after that occurs is a Catholic free to marry who has previously gone through a marriage ceremony of any kind.

2. If a Catholic does not submit their previous marriage to a Tribunal and goes through another marriage ceremony of any kind, the Church teaches that they are NOT married at all, and are living in an adulterous relationship which is mortal sin.

3. The person who is living WITH this person is also in an adulterous relationship, since their "spouse" is NOT their spouse, but someone elses' spouse already.

In your case, as an unbaptised person, this is where I must totally defer to those much more knowledgable than myself..Of course you love this woman. Do you love her enough to live as brother and sister with her until this is is resolved ..for the sake of both of your immortal souls? Perhaps if YOU lead, she will follow. I strongly suggest that you speak with a priest as soon as you are able to do so..You have two issues: you NEED to be baptised, and you NEED some good spiritual direction regarding your understanding of the sacrament of marriage.

-- Lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), January 30, 2005.


Ben..I re-read your post..didn't mean to mislead you..for some weird reason I had thought that your "wife" was Catholic..my mistake.

The Church recognizes a marriage between two BAPTISED persons as always valid..no matter if the people were Catholic or not. A marriage between people who are NOT baptised is not a valid marriage. A marriage between two people, one of whom has been previously married and has not submitted that marriage to the Tribunal for consideration of an annulment is NOT a marriage.

Anyway that you look at your current situation as you describe it, you may be married in the eyes of civil law, but you are not married at all in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Nor have you ever been. Your "wife" IS married, but not to you. Until she submits details of her marriage to the Tribunal and the Tribunal decrees her marriage to be invalid, she is still the wife of her first and only husband.

I have absolutely no clue as to how the Church views baptising someone who is currently living in a state of adultery with someone else's wife. EVEN if they were completely ignorant of that fact when they entered into it..because now that they ARE aware of it, they'd be obligated to make a choice to stop in order to receive baptism.

Anybody else's thoughts on this????

-- Lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), January 30, 2005.


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