Hello. I am so glad to have located this message group. My boyfriend is an atheist. Although he believes there is some higher power, he does not in any way believe in God. I was raised Methodist and went through the RCIA process 6 years ago, and am a practicing and proud Catholic.

I am very confused as to how to get through the "roadblock" of religion in our relationship. I enjoy going to Mass every Sunday, and like when my boyfriend accompanies me. He sits there looking very unhappy, laughs during the mass, and makes occasional comments. I love him dearly, and love everything about him, besides his religious beliefs. He is very cynical and narrow-minded when it comes to religion. He grew up with no religious surrounding, and has learned everything he knows on his own.

Any comments, advice, or resources that he/we may want to consult for clarity would be greatly appreciated. There must be several couples out there in the same situation. Are there classes to attend, or books, etc?? We are trying to respect each other's beliefs, but it is very difficult. I would really like to someday get married in the Catholic Church, and raise my children with the faith, but there are many obstacles that need to be cleared before this is possible with a non-Catholic/religious spouse. Thank you in advance for any suggestions.

-- Lin (sfcatholic@yahoo.com), January 11, 2005

Answers

all you can do is pray. you can defend your faith, argue your faith, demand he have faith til you're blue in the face but it all boils down to GOD. ask him to change your boyfriend's heart cuz you can't do it no matter how hard you try. although i'm not saying to give up on him. it's good that you speak to him about Christ and try to show him the truth and the way but only God can change his heart.

-- Rina (hellorina@aol.com), January 11, 2005.

Dear Lin,

Marriage is hard, hard work. If it is not based on Christ, it is even harder. I'll be honest with you: if this man laughs and makes comments during Mass (i.e. disrespects your faith), he isn't the one God wants you to be with. Why marry a blasphemer? If he disrespects God, he will someday disrespect *you* as well.

Lin, you are a child of God. Don't let yourself take second-best.

-- Michael (edwardsronning@prodigy.net), January 12, 2005.