My uncle is a Catholic Priest and has been a great friend and mentor to me since childhood. While I respect the Catholic tradition, I feel Buddhist secular philosophy is much more akin to my beliefs. My fiance was baptized Catholic but never received any other sacraments and is agnostic. He wanted a completely civil ceremony, I was fine with this. But, since I am close with my uncle I felt it would be more meaningful to have him do the ceremony.

We are having the ceremony in a secular wedding chapel and my uncle said he is delighted to do it. Half the guests will be Catholic and the other half will think it all nonsense. I would like to find a happy medium so that all feel it was a good ceremony. We don't care if the ceremony is blessed by the Church or not.

Is it completely out of line to ask my uncle for a toned down Catholic, almost secular ceremony? Meaning: an intro, maybe one bible reading, a homily or some words from the officiant, the traditional exchange of vows, a peace be with you, and a generic blessing on the marriage.

Thank you, Siobhan

-- Siobhan Cunningham (amintyflavor@yahoo.com), July 21, 2004

Answers

Why does it matter? why tone it down? Ritual can be very beutiful, and a lavish Cahtolic ceremony is oen fo the most beutiful their is. so who cares of the other guests are not Cahtolic, they can at leats enjoy the service, and the importan thting is th emarirage itsself. why should you bother with tonign anythign down?

-- ZAROVE (ZAROFF3@JUNO.COM), July 21, 2004.

It is completely out of line to ask a Catholic priest to officiate at a wedding in any manner other than that officially approved and required by the Church. It is also completely out of line for a priest to officiate at a wedding anywhere but in a Catholic Church, except by special permission of his bishop. Your uncle should have sought such permission (perhaps he did) before agreeing to the location. But wherever the wedding takes place, he must adhere to the required rite. This leaves room for some flexibility, but not unlimited flexibility.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), July 21, 2004.

Sio, Your ignorance is appalling. Obviously you want a theatrical production that will garnish rave reviews. You seem to have no concept of what a sacrament is, or more particularly, what a marriage is.

I suggest you go out an hire Cecil B. DeMille or Stephen Spielberg. They are sure to get you the "rush" out of this wedding you are looking for.

-- Withheld (nospamplease@hotmail.com), July 22, 2004.

I'd have to agree with Paul and Withheld on this. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, it is a God-ordained union between a man and a woman. What you are describing to me is something that is sadly indicative of the culture of modern society. "let's keep it all feel-good."

I suggest that rather than worry about trying to please everyone and dilute things down to suit their tastes, you ought to get down on your hands and knees and pray before God.

-- Oliver Fischer (spicenut@excite.com), July 22, 2004.

Sio-

I am in the same position. I came to this site hoping to find enlightening answers and not pre-packaged dogma. I'm sure however your ceremony will turn out, it will be a beautiful one, blessed by a higher power and full of love and devotion. Good luck with your planning.

Mike (others- please do not respond to this reply. Thank you)

-- Mike (mmcc76@yahoo.com), July 27, 2004.

There is only one "higher power", and He will not bless that which is done in direct violation of His stated will. If we want our lives, not just our weddings, to be blessed, we plan them within the limits of His plan for us. Otherwise we are on our own, and should not blame Him when the inevitable happens as a result of placing our will above His.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), July 27, 2004.