Why are there so many Non-Catholics trying to marry Catholics

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread

Is it just me or is there a growing trend in the number of Catholics falling in love with Protestants(or vice versa). Just look at the number of people posting in this board on whether they can marry a Catholic or not, because they are themselves - Non Catholics... a worrying trend.

-- Andrew (andyhbk96@hotmail.com), June 27, 2004

Answers

a worrying trend.

well, the worrying trend is the lower levels of catholic education in the united states leading to a less faithful catholic corps of believers. if a stalwart catholic marries a protestant it wont present a problem, and may end in a conversion of the protestant. if a nonprepared catholic marries in such a relationship, it may cause them to fall from the faith, and thus it is important to be extremely careful in this decision.

as to why it is so... i think two reasons exist. 1) catholicism enforces a stronger standard of moral behavior than most protestant churches and so most catholics are percieved to be more "virtuous" or stable when a person wants to settle down. and 2) we live in a culture in which we idolize desire. that is, we believe that emotion is a reason for being, and especially in the area of marraige this causes problems. we believe as a society that if you love someone then you should be married to them. this is not true, you can love many people, but compatability and apppropriateness is ALWAYS an issue. we, however, slide further and further into the realm of emotivism, and react less and less in rational ways while "following our hearts" (just like hollywood tells us to).

-- paul h (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), June 27, 2004.


Andrew,

I think part of it has to do with the nature of this forum. Here we will get a disproportionate amount of people (esp. Protestants) inquiring about such relationships, simply because we are a Catholic board. Thus, upon Googling into our site (probably by finding another post with a similar question), the Protestants ask us Catholics for advice. (It's like a snowball effect.) The average Catholic or Protestant may not come to our site at all, simply because they are marrying someone from their own church background and do not have such questions. What we get here are more like the exceptional cases. At least that's my theory.

paul h,

Great points. I agree that extreme caution should be taken in these types of situations. I think the best scenario in such a mixed marriage situation is when both people know their faith firmly and there are no rush conversions that will be later regretted. Both must be open and honest, understanding the terms and expectations of the marriage.

Well, actually, I think the overall best scenario is when both people are of the same faith and if they ever should change anything in the faith department, that God leads them to both change together. Unfortunately, God doesn't force people to do things they don't want to do, and things don't always work out that way. This is really where the problems come in.

-- Emily ("jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), June 27, 2004.


Because Catholic bachelors are so eminently eligible!

-- Joker (joker@cybernet.com.au), June 27, 2004.

thanks, joker. i was about to add something like that! yes, maybe we catholic single guys are of strong character, morally sound, emotionally mature, and hard working.....and with fewer single catholic women going to church, we end up dating out of our faith.

-- jas (jas_r_22@hotmail.com), June 29, 2004.

I come from a very strong Catholic background. I went to twelve years of Catholic school and continue to practice. I have recently become engaged to a Baptist man. He is the most wonderful person that I have ever met, and I can't imagine holding a difference in belief against him. The fact that I am a Catholic marrying a non Catholic is not a "worrying trend." As a matter of fact, I don't think it is a trend at all. It is simply two people falling in love with each other and celebrating one of the most amazing unions in life. I believe that you should be more worried when people let differences prevent love, not love prevent differences.

-- Jenny (Scentura122969@aol.com), March 02, 2005.


Moderation questions? read the FAQ