Views on bringing up children in present age

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Dear Friends in Christ,

Can you please give your views on the following, (though this is a big topic)?

1.What is the best way one can bring up children to be God fearing in this chaotic era where they are influenced by media and peer pressure?

2.What other ways can parents help their children to grow up loving Christ besides praying for them, loving and supporting them, and setting good example, and being firm when it is desired?

Thank You and God Bless, Ramanie.

-- Ramanie Weerasinghe (lilanw@yahoo.com), May 09, 2004

Answers

Personal example. Apart from private prayer and fasting for your children, let your children observe that you are consistently God fearing, praying (both alone and together), and a good example in your relationship with them and also with others. As far as possible let your children see that you have a living relationship with God. In every situation let God be present and let His name be mentioned frequently as possible.

Some practical points:

1. Let your children see your gratefulness to God as you openly and vocally thank God for the good things and events of life.
2. Let your children see your faith as you thank God for even bad things of life, disappointments, and failures.
3. Let your children see your humbleness as you repent openly before God for your mistakes and/or even apologizing with them for the wrongs you may have done against them.
4. Let your children see your love as you quickly forgive them their faults and embrace them back.
5. Let your children see your justice as you correct them firmly without compromising evil.
6. Let your children see your zeal for holiness as you express your disapproval of all impurity, immodesty, permissiveness, immorality of present times all around and in the media by expressions of strong repugnance (sounds, words or facial expressions). Let them find you always expressing positive expressions regarding holy things, holy acts, examples of saints, good actions of people around, and of media that portray things are good and right.
7. Let your children see your compassion as you reach out to poor and needy around (let charity begin at home, wife, parents, kin, etc.). 8. Let your children see your endurance, patience, and perseverance in face of difficulties, in trying moments, in angry moments, and in painful moments.
9. Give your children continuously holy literature, pictures and stories of saints, and Bible to read in forms appropriate for their age.
10. Let them attend catechisms, Bible classes, prayer meetings, etc., where orthodox faith of the church is taught. If your children have reached their teens, try sending to a good Charismatic Retreat. If you are really praying for your children, a good charismatic retreat can change your children much more than the 10 points can hope to accomplish. The Holy Spirit can touch better than any human ways, but in his own time. In the meantime, try practicing at least some of the 10 points listed above and keep praying for your children. "He who does not pray is surely damned, and he who does pray is surely saved." (Some saint said this).


-- Leslie John (lesliemon@hotmail.com), May 09, 2004.

Hi Ramanie,

Leslie has great suggestion. I am also concerned about this.

I would only add that we need to monitor the media that our children are exposed to. We must also be sure to explain to them what they see and give them the Christian perspective. Ther's only so much we can keep out. The key, I think, is to give them the tools to help them discern right from wrong and good from evil.

-- Andy S ("aszmere@earthlink.net"), May 09, 2004.


Ramanie,

My advice is to homeschool your children, including religious education.

-- Brian Crane (brian.crane@cranemills.com), May 09, 2004.


1.What is the best way one can bring up children to be God fearing in this chaotic era where they are influenced by media and peer pressure?

several things: discipline, involvement, proactivity, censorship, and discussion. Discipline ensures that a child will stay away from things without you having to be there. Involvement means you pay attention to what your child does and who they hang out with. proactivity means you dont wait for your child to approach you about things, you go out and actively look for issues to maintain with your children. Censorship means you watch the television/read the book or magazine before your child does... paying attention to more than just sex and violence, watch out for hidden attacks on religion, for men (especially priests) being portrayed as overly effiminate, for scenes where children are shown to be "smarter" than their parents through active rebellion against their parents wishes. discussion means you take an active role in shows that your child watches. after seeing a movie, or watching the news, discuss the issues and talk about things. if you note that a particular media story includes bias talk about it. reenforce the fact that movies and real life are different, especially when it comes to violence and romance.

2.What other ways can parents help their children to grow up loving Christ besides praying for them, loving and supporting them, and setting good example, and being firm when it is desired?

be a role model, be involved. don't be firm when it is desired, be firm and stand by your rules every single time an infraction occurs. set punishments for failure to follow rules and give out punishments fairly. Set awards for doing things BETTER than they need be done and give out those awards fairly. (NOTE: i use the words better than standard because you should not reward for performance to standards, only when standards are exceeded... i dont think its unwise to award a child with, say, five dollars per A on report card, because i would say a fair expectation is a B). Make the standards clear, and make the awards and punishments clear, conscise and fairly distributed and your child will grow up just fine.

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), May 09, 2004.


Hi, Ramanie

I think its very important for a parent to teach their children to devolp a relationship with their guardian angel. Our Lord gives us all the tools we need to succeed in raising holy servants. He didn't set up up to fail. Even though you asked for "other ways" sometimes I think its best to stick with the basics and that would be pray, pray and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament for children, and do the best we can and pray to holy saints like St. Monika.

On another note: Happy Mothers day to you and all the Moms' out there. May God bless each and every Mom.

-- - (David@excite.com), May 09, 2004.



Don't own a TV. Regular family prayer with Scripture. Home religious education, but be educated yourself so that if you can't answer one of the "why" questions, you at least know where to look. Respect your children and be the one who listens to their problems with a sympathetic ear--combine authority with love and encouragement in the way only a parent can.

But I didn't have any of those except for the last one and I guess I turned out OK. :) Remember, sin => ignorance => irreligion. Serious family problems with alcohol, violence, deception, or neglect => ignorance of the saving glory of Christ in a world of sin => irreligion.

-- anon (ymous@god.bless), May 09, 2004.


Dear friends in Christ,

It was so wonderful to read all your views and I see a lot of helpful ideas. Thank you so very much. Its great to have been blessed with a forum where we can reach each other as one body in Christ our Redeemer. God Bless you all and may Our Blessed lead guard and guide all.

Ramanie.

-- Ramanie Weerasinghe (lilanw@yahoo.com), May 10, 2004.


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