post-op relationships

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This is something that has been playing on my mind and i hope you can help me. I am nearly 25 and I have just had my left hip replaced. 4 years ago i had my right hip replaced. I have AVN in both shoulders and both hips due to long term high dose steroids used during chemo treatment for leukaemia when i was 17. Up until now i haven't really cared what people think when they see the scars on my legs, or telling people about the things I've been through. I feel this makes me the person i am and i should not be ashamed of it. However, I'm at the age where I would like to meet someone to settle down with. I haven't had long term relationships in the past so this is where i need your advice. How do you tell someone that you have had both hips replaced? obviously there comes a point when they are going to see the scars so you can't hide it from them. Has anyone had to do this? I'm a young woman and this issue stops me getting close to people.

-- Sian Jones (siankj@hotmail.com), April 28, 2004

Answers

hi, im steve i just found out i have avn in both hips. (thats why im here on this site) i just had a right hip core decomp. and am having the left done as soon as i heal. thats me and now back to your question. im in a different spot than you in life, 35 years old, married with a 5 year old and a 2 year old. so i guess what your asking has not happined to me. in my opinion if somebody has a problem with what you've been through or you feel you have to hide the scars maybe thats not the person you would like to get close with. it sounds like you have alot to offer the right person. you will know when you meet the right person. just keep looking. they are out there. maybe this will help you or maybe it wont. you have been through alot and have alot to offer. keep lookin' steve

-- steve paulson (nspaulson@netscape.net), May 26, 2004.

Thanks Steve for your reply.I understand what you mean and I know the right person will be with me for who I am and not care about my scars etc. I have finally gone to my doctor and told him I need to speak to someone and get some counselling. I've had a lot happen in the last seven years and I haven't dealt with it properly. I hope this will help me and boost my confidence. Hope the decompression surgery is helping. I've found this site truly amazing. when I was first diagnosed with AVN my consultant said it was rare and no one knows much about it, but the amount of people who have posted something on this site about it makes me realise it is is more common than i first thought. Anyway, thanks again and good luck for the future. Sian

-- sian jones (siankj@hotmail.com), May 28, 2004.

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