i want to know what YOU think

greenspun.com : LUSENET : The Work of Edgar Allan Poe : One Thread

i wrote this poem and it took me a long time to get the words right. and i want to nkow what you people think of it. give me the truth ok i can take it.

My Friend

As I open my eyes to a new day I feel yet a painful daze I cannot move my feet I cannot eat I cannot move my arms Like I have no charms When I lift my head To open my eyes I see dark from wall to wall Pain dripping from ceiling to floor Still lying there I close my eyes I see wonderful things I never seen before But when I open my eyes I see darkness and pain No where to hide Where is my pride I try to get up But I cant People are holding me down I see some people walk in the room They look like my friends I scream to them to help me But they just join the others I try to get up But they hold me down To be one of them Not allowing to be myself But no one helps me I see the door open Some body walks in the room I think hes one of them But he is not He pick every body off me He lifts me to my feet and takes my hand He guides me out of the room I feel different and am different I like the new me and the old me But what will other think I ask my self Then he specks Why do you care what people think Why you and why now I ask But he speak no more When I look in his eyes I see the pain that once filled me But when I take his hand I it goes away He took me to a better place Where the pain is gone And I live in the forever happy place Were we are both happy As we walk hand in hand Into a new happiness I never felt before He freed me For he is my friend

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2004


i think that the poem has meaning to you and only you can understand that. i liked how you said what it looks like and feels like. i have a freind just like that. i think it is great and should be in a great book of poems. i think that you really care for your friend and to show him or her you wrote this. i think it is great and you should write more and post them. thay are great and they have great meaning.

-- Anonymous, March 31, 2004

your poem is ok but i dont see what it has to do with poe i came here for a shool project

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2004

I'm not a poetry credict or whatever, but your work is promising there's error, and yet potential as well. and i agree that this poem has the deepest meaning for You, not so much as your audience but that is the case with alot of poets or writers for that matter. You write something meaningful to you and hopefully others can relate or see the passion you hold for the subject or give new found enlightment on whatever the poem is about. All and all, I'd keep writing and practicing. You might want to rephrase 'he pick every body off me" to 'he picks every body off me' or change that part all together because i dont feel that it sounds right as he pick every body off me, but again, just my opinion. and to you Billy bob, what does it matter if this poem doesnt have to do with Poe? thats your issue that you came here for a school project maybe you should have thought of that before commenting on someone else who merely wanted an opinion on their poetry? People come to this site for whatever reason and that reason alone no one has room to really say anything of why there there and stumble across someones work, like they say "if you dont have anything nice to say dont say nothing at all" Good luck annabell

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2004

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