so I have a question about Jewish/Catholic weddings. I am Jewish and my boyfriend is Catholic. Can an interfaith marriage ceremony be held in a Catholic Church? I know his family would insist on a Catholic wedding, however, I would really like to have a rabbi there as well. Is this possible?

-- Dana (Dana_s2@juno.com), March 18, 2004

Answers

Yes you can get married in a Catholic Church, contact your local chancery office, they will help you with the details. They will go over a bunch of important questions that you might not have thought of as part of the process. I don't know about the presence of a rabbi, but they will.

Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), March 18, 2004.

Yes and yes, Dana. You should discuss these things as soon as possible with your friend's pastor, who must obtain special permissions from the bishop, etc..

Dana, are you aware of the fact that your friend must promise always to remain a Catholic and to do everything in his power to raise your children as Catholics? (You don't have to promise this, but you must be aware of his promises.) Are you aware of the fact that sterilization, abortion, and the use of every form of contraception are strictly forbidden to your friend -- and, if he is a good and faithful Catholic, he would not want to marry a woman who would make use of any of those things? Are you aware of the fact that you cannot validly enter into marriage while not being open ever to conceiving children?

Dana, I was not assuming that you or your friend are contemplating any of the above-mentioned actions. I am just letting you know about these things as early in advance as possible, so that you won't feel that something unexpected is being sprung on you later.

-- (Love@And.Marriage), March 18, 2004.

Dear Dana, I write because I am so offended by one of the people who responded to your email. While it is true that the Catholic church does not support abortion and contraception, and while people of Catholic faith hope people involved in Jewish-Catholic relationships are able to live out this faith as faithfully as possible, the Catholic faith also recognizes that we are human and that we do the best we can. As a Catholic in an inter-faith marriage, I admire you for recognizing that your love for your future spouse is limitless, even beyone the limits of religious rules. What is important is that you are asking really good questions and that you and your future spouse are taking your call to marriage seriously. This should be your focus as you further discern the kind of marriage you hope to share with the world...not immediately being bound to rules that can dampen the excitement of being newly engaged. Best wishes to you!

-- Bridget Chamberas (bmchamberas@hotmail.com), April 21, 2004.