How not to offend

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Was wondering what would be the best way to ask a Catholic person to please stop! My wife has started a new job at an office and her boss and another co-worker are Catholic. They both keep putting things like small statues of Mary, pictures of Mary and Saints, and Catholic writings on her desk. My wife is not Catholic and does not want to offend these people. How would be the best way to ask these people to please stop putting Catholic material on her desk. BTW, they do know that She is not Catholic.

-- Jim (Jim@sugob.net), January 26, 2004

Answers

Just tell them to stop! Ask and you shall receive.

Don't make it harder than it is, Jimbo! :-)

-- - (David@excite.com), January 26, 2004.


Some people get offended; some don't. Big deal...

.........................

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), January 26, 2004.


Thats good advice from David, but I'd take it a bit further.

Since she's got to work with them,... I'd ask nicely. Maybe ask them: "Why are you giving me all these things?" Listen to what they say and then respond accordingly. i.e. "I appreciate and thank you for your concern, but this just doesn't really fit in with what I believe." Unless they are truely dense, they should get the message. All's well after that.

-- Jim Furst (furst@flash.net), January 26, 2004.


BTW, they do know that She is not Catholic.

Than , why they keep on trying ??

Some people get offended; some don't. Big deal...

Also I wouldn't appreciate it , if they give me bibles , crosses or other religious signs as presents , in that case I will tell them that I don't appreciate such gifts , presents or whatever they may call it !!

I wouldn't do the same by giving anti-religious signs as present , gift , .... to religious or any other people !! Why even should I ??

btw: If someone tries to offend me on my handicap by purpose , well .... , laugh last , laugh best !! __ So , see that sucker in court !!

Salut & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:

-- Laurent LUG (.@...), January 27, 2004.


Ahh, the stuff office policies are made of. Giving my TWO CENTS…

I would tactfully tell said individuals that I (victim) keep my work related desk clean and free of distractions, and because I only work here, I don’t post or advertise my personal and/or religious beliefs. Follow up with the office policy regarding personal effects and let nature take it’s course.

Note: management does reserve the right to control the number of personal items (family pictures, holiday ornaments, banners) on/near a persons desk/cubicle. Anonymously tell the supervisor that something is getting out of hand and let them lay down the gavel (so to speak).

-- No during working hours (noemail@thissite.com), January 27, 2004.



A polite, but straight-up answer would be best. Something like, "I am not Catholic, so these items do not appeal to me. They also do not incline me towards the Catholic faith. If you are trying to evangelize me, this is the worst possible way to do it. Perhaps, someday in the future when all our relationships are stronger we can discuss matters of religion, but I would appreciate you stopping. Thank you."

Just my bloated opinion,

Dano

-- Dan Garon (boethius61@yahoo.com), January 27, 2004.


It falls under the categories of "hostile work environment", and "harassment", if you're in the US and can sue over such things. I'm surprised that Catholics would do such a thing--usually pushing religion at work is a Fundamentalist thing.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), January 27, 2004.

Yeah, Sue 'em! Emotional distress! Pain & suffering!

You'll have no shortage of lawyers chomping at the bit to take that case.

-- jake (j@k.e), January 27, 2004.


I can't help but wonder where your wife works where Catholics are pushing religious articles on her to the point where it's become problematic for her. (Usually saying "no, thank you" to something once is all a sensible adult needs to hear.) Too many Catholics today in the work force would be more willing to accept a non-Catholic article on their desk than to get someone else to put a Catholic article on theirs. I'm not trying to say you're being dishonest, but I do have a hard time imagining that these Catholic co-workers of your wife are as persistant with their articles as you'd have us think.

I can't help but wonder why you come to a Catholic forum asking Catholics how she can essentially tell these Catholics to refrain from this.

I can't help but wonder why Catholic participants in this thread aren't congratulating the co-workers of this woman who are trying to bring her into the one, true Faith. While I don't favor pushiness or open hostility towards someone who replies "no, thanks" I do think if these Catholics are trying to bring this woman to see the Truth, it's cause for happiness. These sorts of acts are rare for Catholics these days, and if one or more catholics somewhere are reaching out to bring others in *as we're supposed to do* than it's cause for celebration, IMO, and not an opportunity to discuss how one can non- offensively get them to stop.

-- Regina (Regina712REMOVE@lycos.com), January 27, 2004.


Regina, you can introduce others to the Catholic faith without doing so at work. I wouldn't like it if someone was pushing some other religion on me, so work and other public places should be protected from that sort of thing, lest it work the "other way". Now, if this person is working at an office in the local diocese or something, she ought to have seen it coming and really should be looking for another job.

Freedom of religion also means freedom from others' religion if you don't want it.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), January 27, 2004.



Regina, you can introduce others to the Catholic faith without doing so at work.

There aren't that many places, outside the workplace, where one comes in close contact with large groups of people that I can think of. So as long as the activity isn't taking away from work productivity, and folks receiving a "no thanks" after the first attempt, cease their attempts to introduce the faith, I see the workplace as a great opportunity to spread a little Catholicism around.

I wouldn't like it if someone was pushing some other religion on me

Neither would I, but my point is that I believe the poster's situation was not without some exaggeration. Maybe the wife goes on and and on about her non-Catholic faith and the co-workers wanted offer some rebuttal? Maybe during a conversation she once suggested that she found Catholicism interesting, and the co-workers took that to mean she'd be interested in their articles. Who knows?

so work and other public places should be protected from that sort of thing, lest it work the "other way".

How are we to bring others into the faith if we aren't permitted from introducing it publicly? Again, I'm not talking about employing "pushiness" or hosility when one receives a "no thanks." Neither act is charitable.

Now, if this person is working at an office in the local diocese or something, she ought to have seen it coming and really should be looking for another job.

That's exactly what I was thinking as I posted last time!

Freedom of religion also means freedom from others' religion if you don't want it.

Agreed, but like I said, I don't really believe that the co-workers are as problematic as the poster thinks them to be. And if they are, then I can see everyone else's point. I just had to post because I didn't see anyone give so much as a nod to those couple of Catholics who are trying to do as God asks. I didn't see anyone even suggest that the wife might to well to pick up one of those books left for her.

My advice to the poster is for his wife to agree to reading one of the books in exchange for that book being the last thing the co- workers offer her in matters of the Faith. If she agrees to read it, who knows? Something wonderful might happen.

-- Regina (Regina712REMOVE@lycos.com), January 27, 2004.


Where does the "New Evangelzation" end and the new ecumenism begin?

-- jake (j@k.e), January 27, 2004.

Jim, I don't know if your wife is Atheist, other type of Christian, Budhist,...

She can tell them what her beliefs are. Somehow, once they know, they will stop giving her these items or putting them close by her side.

I am surprised she hasn't expressed this so far.

The Home and the Job place are two places wher one should be free of religious encroachment.

That's why they invented flyers, the internet, public places, and so for.

The Christian Yahwist

-- Elpidio Gonzalez (egonzalez@srla.org), January 27, 2004.


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