HELP ME FINISH THIS STORY FOR MY DOUJINSHII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OK, guys, here it is. I'm not gonna go into the details about my whole Doujinshii like last time, just the stories I need to finish. But to answer previous questions I've gotten-It's not fanfiction but Doujinshii cuz I draw the stories too, and I'm good at drawing Anime so the art is good at least if the stories suck. Most importantly one I think is pretty funny with no title as of yet-It begins on Sky Palace...Here's the script for it, lucky I printed a copy cuz I'm at school and my home computer is fucked up...Here goes!

(On top of Sky Palace, the Saiyajin stand in Bulma's made armor) Vegeta-OK, Radditz. So far Kakarotto, his son, my son and myself have become Super Saiyajin. Since you're on the Z Senshi now it's YOUR turn!!!

Vegeta-Just gather your power...AND RELEASE YOUR ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!! (Vegeta powers up in a huge burst of Ki to SSJ, as do the others)

Radditz (in awe)-Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba...But what do I have to be angry about?

(Radditz' fictional daughter I made up in a fanfiction shows up. Don't ask-But Vegeta really thinks she's hot and tries to sleep with her a lot)

Tanip-Hey guys!! Are you training up here? Can I join you?

(Vegeta begins to drool and leaps into the air, tackling her and pinning her to the ground. Radditz looks over to see Vegeta on top of his daughter (Don't worry people!! They're not naked and nothing happened!!! Go read some Hentai you perverts!!!)

Radditz (Furious)-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

(Vegeta looks up with shock)

Radditz-GET THE HELL OFF MY DAUGHTER YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Radditz screams and his hair (ALL HIS HAIR) rises. He unleashes a huge roar and stands in the glow of Super Saiyajin...And his hair is INSANELY long...I can't imagine SSJ3 Radditz...*Shudders*)

Vegeta (Terrified, off Tanip now)-O-o-o-o-o-o-o-k, Radditz!!! You did it!!! My plan to get you angry and go Super Saiyajin worked!!! Y-y-y-y-ou can s-s-s-stop giving me that l-l-l-look, now, 'kay?

Radditz-Heeeiiiii--------YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

(Radditz charges and Vegeta stands there too scared to move. Chi-Chi suddenly walks in, stunning everyone and stopping Radditz in his tracks)

Chi-Chi-Hey, everyone!!! Wow, Radditz-san, you look good as a blonde! Much more handsome than Gokou-Sa!! Well c'mon everyone, we have to get ready for the party at Capsule Corporation!!!

(Everyone falls down)

(Inside the Son House)

Chi-Chi-Come on, Gokou-Sa!!! You're wearing this tuxedo whether you like it or not!!! (She tries to force it on him)

Gokou (Whining in that high-pitched voice that Masako-san does AWESOME, by the way)-But I don't wanna!!!

Chi-Chi-Come on, Gokou-Sa!!! You'll look handsome!!! Please?

(Gokou puts on the tuxedo reluctantly)

Gokou (Mumbling)-Not as handsome as Radditz grumble grumble...

Chi-Chi-What was that, Gokou-Sa?!

Gokou-N-n-n-othing, dear!!!!

(Tanip walks in)

Tanip-Hey guys!!! Whaddya think of this cat suit?

(Radditz freaks out. Gokou stands with his mouth wide open and Chi-Chi smacks him, and polite li'l Gohan-Kun covers his eyes)

Radditz-Tanip, change RIGHT NOW!!!! No daughter of mine is wearing that!!!!

Tanip-And why not?

Radditz-Well, uh...It's...You know...You just can't wear something that...Revealing...To a formal party!!!!

Tanip-But--

Radditz-No buts!!! You're not going as a little slut!!!!

Tanip-And what if I WANT to look like a slut? Did you ever think of that, dad? Fine, I'll change if it'll shut you up!!! Geez, parents...

(At Capsule Corp. the two Saiyajin of the Briefs family are getting dressed as well)

Vegeta-Ugh, I HATE wearing Chikyuu-Jin clothes...

Bulma-Oh, Vegeta, it's just for the party!!! You can change after!!!

Vegeta-Baka onna...Well just what the Hell is this party for anyway? Are you even going to TELL us why we have to get dressed up?

Bulma-Well Lunch just appeared out of nowhere the other day looking for Tenshinhan!! He proposed to her!!! They're getting married!!!

(Back at the Son house, Chi-Chi is telling everyone the same)

Chi-Chi-...And so it's only polite you take a break from training and we celebrate this!!! Don't you agree, Gokou-Sa? Gokou-Sa?

(Gokou is over at the table stuffing his face with Chi-Chi's food)

Gokou (Mouth full)-Huh?

Chi-Chi-GOKOU-SA!!!!!!!!!! Those are for the party!!!!!!!!!!!!

(At the party, Tenshinhan and Lunch arrive. Shortly after Gokou-tachi show up at the door as well. As Tanip walks by the door Kame-Sen'nin and Vegeta peek at her from behind the couch)

(Later at the table, Vegeta pours drinks as Gokou stuffs his face again)

Gokou-Did you make these, Vegeta? They're really good!!!

Vegeta-Baka!!! Of course not!!! (Looks around and waits for Bulma to walk by)

Vegeta-Yes I did, Kakarotto, but don't tell anyone!!! Bulma doesn't want anyone to know her cooking sucks.

OWARI DA!!!!!!!!!!!

So that's as far as I've gotten. Can anyone help me finish this up? Preferrable Yonk, AngelGoten, Majin Vegita...CUz I know you guys and I think you'd have good input. If I accept it I'll give you full credit for the part you wrote. Thanks a lot!!!! Ja Ne!!

PS-CHRISTMAS ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Suupaa Gohan 2 (dragonballz@aol.com), December 16, 2003

Answers

The beginning sounds strangely familiar. I don't know where, but somewhere I read something like this. A fanfiction or fanmanga. A sorta "what if" fanfiction. Where Goku got bored one day and decided to wish back Raditz (or something like that, but Raditz still lives), and he also had a daughter called Turnip, or Tanip, or something like that. I forget. I think it could have been from the old anime forum, maybe from you, but I'm not sure. I seem to have alot of memory lapses these days, and most of my old memories were somehow lost. Things just soud familiar these days. I just can't seem to remember anything. Maybe it was the Garden Gnomes??? I can't remember.

Suupaa Gohan 2, can you email me your whole work??? (The drawings too, if it is possible), Just remember to email it to my current email, info@smserve.co.za

-- )v(ajin\/egita (info@smserve.co.za), December 16, 2003.


Yeah, I wrote that. I just didn't post them all cuz it takes too long to type out here, and I only wanted to post the story I hadn't finished. Yes, Gokou wishes back Radditz is chapter 1. Then Kuririn takes revenge on Piccolo...Or sorta...And gets crushed by Oozaru Gohan. Chapter 3 is a remake of my favorite comercial about a woman who's best friend was a mannequin but with Vegeta and a MALE mannequin, chapter 4 was as far finished as I got with a short "Oh my God!! Vegeta killed Kenny!!" thing. And then this would be chapter 5. Chapter 6 is a Christmas one about Vegeta and Gokou in a sorta "Best Snowman" contest, and meanwhile Gohan-kun is trying to give Chocolate to Piccolo-san only to learn Namekseijin don't eat!! Yes, I wrote all of those, and I KNOW they suck. But I think this party one has potential, ne? Whattya mean my whole work? Like all the stories in sacript form? And sorry, I don't have a scanner so I can't send you the drawings. Even if I DID have a scanner, my computer has to be formatted and I'm too scared to lose all my stuff and ESPECIALLY my 115 Anime mp3's, and since my dad says it gets worse every time I turn it on I haven't been using it much. All the things I've been doing have been after school during the 1 hour before my mom comes in the library...But when I finished my Doujinshii I was gonna make a copy and REGULAR mail it to Yonk in California, and I can give you a copy to if you'd like. But it won't be finished for a while since I can only do it in my spare time not at school or doing homework. But yeah, do you like it? Try to get other people to read this and help me finish it, please!!!

PS-CHRISTMAS ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Suupaa Gohan 2 (dragonballz@aol.com), December 17, 2003.


No, y'know what? Yeah. Erase all the off-topic stuff of me arguing about people answering and all that shit. Just let it begin anew, but don't erase EVERYTHING--If there was a good answer leave it, and please leave my last post to prevent further off-topicness. OK, now I think I've said everything. Ja ne.

-- Suupaa Gohan 2 (dragonballz@aol.com), January 22, 2004.

As you wish.

-- )v(ain\/egita (Info@smserve.co.za), January 22, 2004.

Now...

WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE THREAD I'VE POSTED ABOUT 15 HUNDRED TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!! GOT AN ANSWER YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME? ANY IDEAS? NO?

THEN GET THE HELL OF THE THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T POST *ANYTHING* UNLESS IT'S RELEVANT TO MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!

That will be all.

-- Suupaa Gohan 2 (dragonballz@aol.com), January 30, 2004.



SG2, I dont think I could help write the sotry, or help with the ending, but I'll try and give a couple of suggestions or things that I would like to see in there. How about you try and widen out on the whole Majin thing??? I would certainly lik to see more of that.

**By sticking with SG2's wishes, every off topic post here will be deleted**

-- )v(ajin\/egita (Info@smserve.co.za), January 31, 2004.


OK, if anyone CARES, I came up with a little more of the story two days ago. After that last line by Vegeta...

Vegeta-Ah, so Kakarotto, what is the oddly-colored Chikyuu-Jin beverage?

Gokou-Oh, that? 'S called "Punch".

Vegeta-Punch? But isn't punch when--OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU KAKAROTTO?!

Gokou-Where?! (Looks around frantically)

Vegeta-YOU DO THIS?! (Catches Gokou hard in the face with an uppercut)

Gokou-AW DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAARRRGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vegeta-Na-na-na-na-na-na! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I punched you in the fa-ace! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (If you could guess, he was doing Eric Cartman's classic taunt from South Park)

Gokou-Itetetetetete...Damn you, Vegeta!! I bit my tongue!!! Agh! And my nose is bleeding...

Vegeta-Well my work here is done, then!! (Starts to walk away, but then turns back)

Vegeta-Hm, this "Punch" is pretty good. (Fills another cup and then walks away)

Gokou-Chikusho, Vegeta no yatsu me...So he likes that punch, does he? Well maybe I'll just have to spice it up a bit...

(Later in the kitchen, Gokou goes through the liquor cabinet)

Gokou-A-cha! Bulma sure has a lot of booze...Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Pulls out a large cup labeled "Vegeta-Sama", and procedes to pull out Vodka, Sake, Shnopps, and all other assortments of alcohol, and pours them all into the glass. Then he adds a little punch to it.)

Gokou-Let's see how Vegeta-"Sama" likes being totally wasted!!!

(Later)

Gokou-Vegeta-Chan, no hard feeling about before, ne? Have this.

Vegeta-Che! Kakarotto, who do you think you;re fooling? What's with the "Vegeta-Chan"? I KNOW you're up to something.

Gokou-Kuso... (Looks down in frustration, the looks up quickly with an idea. He jumps Vegeta.)

Gokou- I SAID DRINK THE FRICKIN' PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Grabs Vegeta's head and opens his mouth, pouring in the odd mixture of booze and punch)

Vegeta-KUSOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Flips over Gokou and, grabbing his arms behind his back, pulls him tight, the procedes to knee him hard in the back. Gokou coughs up blood)

Vegeta-Awrgh!!!!!!! What the Hell did you pour down my throat you asshole?! Well no matter. It's YOU, after all. Whatever you were TRYING to do you probably just screwed up as usual. No threat to me, ne? Hahahahahaha...(Walks away)

Once again, that's as far as I've gotten. Later Vegeta is gonna be drunk, and I did plan to have one line in particular be said:

(Bulma and Trunks walk in together. Vegeta is wasted.)

Vegeta-Well if it isn't lady and the tramp!

Bulma-Vegeta!! Don't call our son a tramp! But I never realized you thought of mr as a lady...(blushes)

Vegeta-Hahahahahahahahaha!!! What a conceded woman! He's the lady, YOU'RE the tramp!!

(Bulma is furious and Trunks runs off crying)

Well sorry I'll finish later but today is a 1/2 day and my class ended really fast. I gotta go to Math now. Itsu ka!

-- Suupaa Gohan 2 (dragonballz@aol.com), April 08, 2004.


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