Okay... here's the situation.

I'm Catholic, and still practicing. My fiancee was baptized Catholic, but no longer practices. He is, in fact, a Wiccan. We both have very strong faith in our repective belief systems, and have no desire to convert one another. Now here's the question... can we be married under the same guidelines that govern interfaith marriage, or is the fact that he no longer follows a Judeo-Christian faith an insurmountable impediment?

-- Chris H (younggun1881@yahoo.com), October 28, 2003

Answers

Dear Chris,
Pardon me for not responding directly to your question. Someone else here will, probably; and for that matter, you'll still have to consult with your pastor about tbis.

Just as a friendly Catholic, though; I think I can give you some useful insights. I'm keeping in mind you are surely talking about the ''woman you love''--

She remains a Catholic, Chris. She may be an apostate Catholic, but her baptismal character will never be lost. Her waywardness is somehow of no importance to you as a practicing Catholic; because you are valuing your emotions altogether too highly. Can it be possible you as a believer aren't alarmed about the state of her soul? Will a lukewarm Catholic who marries as you'll marry become hotter, or colder? You have no qualms about your opposed ''belief systems''--? Or about mortal sin in the partner you're choosing?

When you start off by stating you have ''no desire to convert one another,'' you effectively hide from God. You decide you are not your brother's keeper, and you show every intention of degrading the sacrament of matrimony. Why call yourself a practicing Catholic? As things stand; if you're not joking, you might as well marry like the beasts of the field do, Chris. You have little or no regard for your immortal soul, or the dignity of marriage.

And your wife to be will hardly bring you back to your senses. Stay single, young man; until you learn about life.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), October 30, 2003.

Pardon me, Chris:
I guess I got the order backwards; He is a '''Wiccan'' and apostate Catholic. You are Chris, the ''wife-to-be''. No matter; my advice is still valid for you. Don't touch this person ever-- Unless he can see his spiritual dilemma if it concerns a Catholic marriage. Save your own faith, Chris; don't fall into this trap.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), October 30, 2003.

Eugene, the fiance is male.

Chris, I don't know. I think it would be a major problem, especially in regards to children.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), October 30, 2003.

Dear GT:
As you can see, I went back and corrected that; and in fact, I'm glad I made the error; God works in His own mysterious ways.

If not, my words to Chris would've been tempered; and they shouldn't be.

I'm aware of your own tolerant views; GT. It doesn't surprise that you overlook every point I tried to make and sympathize with ''the children''. If this were the main consideration, you'd be correct.

Even so; most important of all isn't a matter like children. There are countless children born to mixed marriages who aren't deprived at all; and many children of lukewarm Catholics do get precious little benefit from the parents and their values.

Chris is apparently unwilling to make a spiritual judgment; it concerns her own faith. She passes over the sins of her fiance, she is indifferent about such matters. How can a Catholic spouse let herself be indifferent to salvation itself? Not just the salvation of her future children; her spouse's and her OWN? I still offer the same advice. Chris; stay single for a few years. Go to Church, read the scriptures and ask God for help. You need to grow up, before you enter the state of matrimony.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), October 30, 2003.

Eugene, once you have children, it's no longer "all about you". A lot of people don't realize that. And, how many people have converted spouses over the years, or brought them back to the Church? She may not wish to convert him now, but if he has no problems with children being brought up Catholic, he could come back, any time.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), October 30, 2003.

Well, this thread has certainly opened my eyes a bit.

First of all, just to clear up any misconceptions..

I am myself the product of a mixed marriage. My mother was Catholic, and while she promised to raise her children in her faith, I was given a choice. I chose to be and remain Catholic. My children will have the same choice as I did, regardless of the faith of their father. I will not steer them away from my faith, I will encourage them, but even if my fiancee were a practicing Catholic, my children would still have a choice. Even a child is gifted with free will.

As to the point raised about degrading the sacrament... I don't believe that. My fiancee and I both have the deepest respect and love for one another. It's *his* respect for me and my faith that even brought up the thought of a Catholic wedding. I didn't even think it was possible. I knew when he proposed that there would be challenges, but marriage is a holy rite to both of us, just in different ways.

Anyway... after I come back from a business trip to Texas, I and my fiancee have an appointment to speak with my bishop. (My parish church is the local cathedral). I suppose I'll know then.

-- chris h (younggun1881@yahoo.com), October 30, 2003.

Chris;
Thankfully, you write as if you have some good sense. Your first post was more off the wall : ''Okay... here's the situation.'' Like Rocky & Bullwinkle. Thank God you aren't really that flighty.

If so, and --If the good man your fiance has respect for you, so much the better.

Nevertheless; some aspects of your attitude are very flippant. ''We both have very strong faith in our repective belief systems, and have no desire to convert one another.'' Can this be seen as indifferent? Is your faith so superficial? My own would never admit of ''respective belief systems'' so easily. This is trivializing the faith.

Maybe you've swallowed some extravagant ''system'' which equates Wicca with Jesus Christ, His passion death and resurrection-- Your redemption, your salvation and HIS--

With playing witches & warlocks? Is HE the grownup you have intentions of marrying? The father of your children? Forgive me; he's been reading comic books too long, Chris; to compete with the faith of the holy apostles! Pay more attention to your immortal soul!

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), October 30, 2003.

Eugene, you could be a little more polite--after all, Chris is not a "regular" here, unless I am mistaken. She came seeking an answer, and I respect your opinion, but you could be a little nicer about it.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), October 30, 2003.

And, if I am not mistaken, Wicca is not all about "witches and warlocks", it is more of a nature-based faith, from what I've read.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), October 30, 2003.

Thanks for applying the brakes, GT. If you could drive me, it would even work.

Being nicer is being lukewarm. I haven't been savage; just blunt. Nobody ever calls me lukewarm.

Better than trying it, try to call me wrong, GT. If you see me saying something really wrong, you'll do me a favor by telling me. Telling me to be nice is OK. I'll try, just for you; but it's not a must.

God bless you, your family, your life. May no harm or misfortune ever come upon you. God never permit. Amen!

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), October 30, 2003.

Jmj

I can understand why there was confusion on this thread. The name "Chris" can mean "Christine" or "Christopher." And Chris (female) misspelled the word for her betrothed -- writing "fiancee" (female) instead of "fiance" (male).

Chris, you wrote this:
"My mother was Catholic, and while she promised to raise her children in her faith, I was given a choice. I chose to be and remain Catholic. My children will have the same choice as I did, regardless of the faith of their father. I will not steer them away from my faith, I will encourage them, but even if my fiancee were a practicing Catholic, my children would still have a choice. Even a child is gifted with free will.

When your mother gave you "a choice," were you a minor? If so, she committed a serious sin, because she had promised not to do that.
When you give your children "the same choice," will they be minors? If so, you too will sin gravely, because you will soon be making a promise (in the pastor's presence) to do all in your power to raise your children as Catholics. The time that they will have "a choice" will be upon their reaching adulthood (age 18).

You cannot appeal to the fact that your kids will have a "free will," because that free will will be subject to YOUR free will until they are adults. If you would give in to the kids' "free will" on where or whether to worship on Sunday, then you must also give in to their "free will" to stay home from school, eat only candy, skip their baths or tooth-brushing, etc.. You have duties to RAISE your kids right -- and the most important of all those duties is raising them in the spiritual life.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), November 01, 2003.