This is a joke. I'm not on a "holy war" here to destroy the church or any other nonsense you guys have accused me of, I'm just telling a joke. Have a good laugh, don't take it too seriously, ok?

There are two monks sitting in a monastary. One says to the other "These documents we're always hand-copying...they've always been hand-copied, right?"

"Well, yes...of course," says the other monk.

"So, what if, in the past 2,000 years," sayd the forst monk, "Somebody misspelled something or got a word wrong, and we've been copying that mistake ever since?"

"well, that's a good question," says the second monk, "That could really be a problem. Wait a minute, I know think we have the origional documents somewhere in the basement. Tell you what--stay here and I'll go see if I can find them."

So the second monk goes down into the basement. After waiting several hours, the first monk decides to go look for him. So he goes down there, and sure enough, he sees the other monk. But he's crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"It says CELEBRATE."

-- Anti-bush (Comrade_bleh@hotmail.com), October 19, 2003

Answers

It could be funny (1) if it hadn't been told here twice before and (2) if it made sense.

I assume that the joke is that the word "celebrate" was miscopied as "celibate." But try putting that into a sentence:

All men who wish to become priests/monks must be celebrate.

It makes no sense, so it ends up being not really funny. Check here for threads that contain dozens of jokes, mostly related to religion: http://greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-one-category.tcl?topic=Catholic&ca tegory=Humor

-- (Party@Pooper.com), October 20, 2003.

Dude, it's a joke. You're not supposed to think that far into it. You really are a party pooper.

-- Anti-bush (Comrade_bleh@hotmail.com), October 21, 2003.

I liked it!!! God bless

John (Pro-Bush) Placette

-- john placette (jplacette@catholic.org), October 21, 2003.

Of course, this joke can only be seen as funny in the eyes of the Protestant, bush. He is accusing the Catholic Church of "not celebrating" and implying that celebration is only found in the Protestant church where Hysteria and Entertainment are allowed and perceived as "celebrating." He is making a mockery of the mourning of Catholics ~ how we unite ourselves with the Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary and with the sufferings of Jesus Christ during His Way of the Cross. He is also making a mockery of the mortification of the senses by the Holy monks. Bush fails to understand that every Mass, celebrated many times during the day, and every day, in every Catholic Church around the globe, is a solemn Celebration of the Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

-- james (elgreco1541@hotmail.com), October 21, 2003.

I get tons of jokes with Catholic subjects from Protestants. They wouldn't laugh if the jokes were about their evangelists, now would they? Well, here is my joke:

Benny Hinn.........enough said.

rod..

..

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), October 22, 2003.

Actually most mainline Protestants are as disgusted with Benny Hinn as Catholics are, if not more so. But he does have his following, unfortunately.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), October 22, 2003.

hey rod, i've got another protestant joke for you...

televangilism!!!

-- paul (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), October 22, 2003.

Rod and Paul,

LOL!

-- james (elgreco1541@hotmail.com), October 22, 2003.

I don't find televangelism funny. I just find it stupid. All televangelists are total hypocrits. They preach tolerance and helping the poor, but they all funnel millions of dollars out of charities every year, and Fred Phelps runs a website called "www.godhatesfags.com" that calls for violence against all homosexuals and boasts a ticker that says "Mathew Shepard has been in hell for ___ days".

-- Anti-bush (Comrade_bleh@hotmail.com), October 22, 2003.

Mr. Bush,

You ought to have exactly the same opinion about your "a joke" as you do about televangilism.

-- james (elgreco1541@hotmail.com), October 22, 2003.

well, comrade bush,

televangilism is incredibly funny BECAUSE its so pitiful, youre just missing out. heres why:

I sincerely doubt that if Almighty God had some great message to deliver to mankind that He would choose to send it to us from some guy with a bad haircut asking for money on the TV.

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), October 22, 2003.

paul h,

LOL again

-- james (elgreco1541@hotmail.com), October 22, 2003.

Forget it!!!! The joke has died in the arse now!!!

-- Anon (anon@none.com), October 22, 2003.

Uh.....that was a bad haircut? I thought that was some sort of hat?

Televangelists? When was the last time you ever saw a priest or nun cry on cue in front of a camera and parish.....uh, audience? Or, a church leader with a high dollar fancy hairdo (and that's the men)?

$$$$$$.$$

rod..

..

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), October 22, 2003.

I liked the televangalisum joke. Do you ever wounder what would happen if a new mussiha was born in this day and age. Because of people like those on TV it would be pretty hard to spread the word and TV would be the best way to do so.

...

However, that is not why I am posting. I think that this rendition of the joke makes more sense:

In an ancient monastery in a faraway place, a new monk arrived to join his brothers in copying books and scrolls in the monastery's scriptorium. He was assigned to be a replicator of books that had already been copied by the other monks. One day, he asked Father Florian (the rather ancient head of the scriptorium), "Does not the copying by hand of other copies allow for error? How do we know we are not copying the mistakes of someone else? Are they ever checked against the original?"

Fr. Florian was taken aback by the observation of this youthful monk. "A very good point, my son. I will take one of the latest books down to the vault and compare it against the original. Fr. Florian went down to the vault and began his verification.

After a day had passed, the monks began to worry and went down looking for the old priest. They were sure something must have happened. As they approached the vault, they heard crying. When they opened the door, they found Fr. Florian sobbing over the new copy and the original ancient book, both of which were opened before him on the table. It was obvious to all that the poor man had been crying his heart out for a long time.

"What is the problem, Reverend Father?" asked one of the monks.

"Oh, my God, my God," sobbed the priest. "In the ancient book of the sacred rites of priesthood... the word is "CELEBRATE" !!!

***

I don't know who made this joke but I do know a little about some old sacred rites to priesthood like circumcision. I also know that there is a term for circumcision that is close enough to celebrate that it would make this a nasty joke... unfortunately I'm a terrible speller, so I can't repeat it without major butchering.

-- None (vr_oni@yahoo.com), December 04, 2003.

Do you ever wounder what would happen if a new mussiha was born in this day and age. Because of people like those on TV it would be pretty hard to spread the word and TV would be the best way to do so.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! what a hoot. yes, it would be funny if Jesus were to become a televangelist wouldnt it? too bad Jesus is coming back with an army instead of in humble origins. it will, doubtless, be hard to miss all the choirs and legions of angels on the judgement day.

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), December 04, 2003.

How in the world does this joke mock the 7 Sorrows of our Lady? The joke is not meant to be malicious or harmful. It is a sly linguistic poke at celebacy, that is all. What IS harmful is people who take themselves so seriously that they cannot have the occasional laugh at their own expense. Isn't that what we call PRIDE? Who was the first to commit this sin? Oh right, it was Satan.

-- danielle wilson (peanut0017@houston.rr.com), October 15, 2004.

Ok Here is one I had told to me by a protestant friend.....

Enjoy Life...

There was a little old lady who would come out every morning on the steps of her front porch, raise her arms to the sky and shout, "Praise the Lord!"

Well, one day an atheist moved into the house next door. Over time, he became irritated at the little old lady. So every morning he would step out onto his front porch and yell after her, "There is no Lord!"

Time passes with the two of them carrying on this way every day. Then one morning in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted, "Praise the Lord! Lord, I have no food and I am starving. Please provide for me, oh Lord!"

The next morning, she stepped onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. "Praise the Lord!" she cried out. "He has provided groceries for me!"

The atheist jumped out of the hedges and shouted, "There is no Lord. I bought those groceries!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted, "Praise the Lord! He has provided me with groceries and He made the devil pay for them!"

Laugh ya'll and God bless ! Thanks and glory be to God !

-- Suzanne (james-betsy@sbcglobal.net), October 15, 2004.

Its good to see an old post by one of our supposed adversaries still gettng a response,

You know --- I have never seen anti as truely an adversary, He is a young man with questions, pretty sensible ones if you ask me. If you don't Ill answer if I have time. But Check out his questins. Not unreasonable. His questions here are in a good place. Perhaps I'll let othrs answer. Anti may not be a Catholiic but he strikes me as pretty good.

-- Jim (furst@flash.net), October 15, 2004.