Hello everyone--

I'm troubled. Maybe some have noted some hints at my recent flurry of posts, but I believe I'm going through a mild sort of crisis at present. It isn't overwhelming, and it doesn't prevent me from functioning, but every day it occupies my thoughts and consumes a huge part of my consciousness.

As far as I can remember, every non-Christian or fallen-away Catholic I've tried to share my faith with has only come away with a harder heart than before.

Perhaps some of you might be able to understand how distressing this is, which is why I ask sincerely for your prayers. At present I can think of nothing more worth my attention, or my life, than inviting the world of disaffected people back into the arms of their Father. But if I can't, if I continue to botch everything, if I have lacked faith and trust in God, then what? What?

How can I have peace when people who I love so dearly can't bring themselves to a love for God and a wish to be in his family, the Church?

Now looking at this, I see that this crisis is much older than a week or two. It was my first and most difficult crisis ever, and now it returns. It returns because I can no longer be satisfied, as I once was, to live-and-let-live. The realization, horrifying and grotesque, that the souls of my loved ones and closest friends cannot stay out of God's light forever, comes back to me and I can only offer impotence in return. It's almost unbearable.

I KNOW there is something disfunctional in this. I KNOW that my concern and my worry is misplaced. But I don't simply want to be corrected; I don't want to feel better. I don't want to be all confident and smiley again and yet still do nothing. I don't want to be told that, "it's ok, it's not your fault"--I don't want to be guiltless! I'm only exhausted from the stone-cold unfaith of people who've been nothing but blessings to me.

And there's nothing I can do. Please pray for me.

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 16, 2003

Answers

Yes, Skoobouy, I will pray for you, especially because I have great empathy with you. I know EXACTLY how you feel, because I began to experience the same kind of thing many years ago. It took a long time to get past it, and it hasn't left 100% yet -- probably because it shouldn't. We need that nagging feeling, in order to remain concerned and prayerful for those in need. But we can't let that feeling overwhelm us, because there is too much work to be done.

You wrote: "I KNOW that my concern and my worry is misplaced."

No, it is appropriate. What you may be doing wrong is putting too much pressure on yourself to work miracles. We are finite and weak, unable to do much at all. The greater work is done via God's grace and the free will of those who are now in trouble. We can only plant the seeds (as you have surely done), and let the Holy Spirit water them.

Be at peace. Let us relax and entrust our loved ones to the mercy and embrace of the Good Lord.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), August 16, 2003.

Skoobouy,

Only God can grow a tree. We can only plant the seed.

Plant a seed, if it sprouts, water it. Don't prune it too early.

And whatever you do, don't over fertilize it.

Advise from my uncle Jack, a master gardener and prison minister.

God bless,

-- john placette (jplacette@catholic.org), August 16, 2003.

Skoobouy,

Strange as it may sound, it sounds to me like you are on the right track. Most of the time, doing things the right way involves suffering and hardship. Look at Christ's time on Earth. Even He had people run him out of town, and He was the Messiah! I would try for a 5% ratio myself, if one person in 20 actually hears you, you're doing o.k. If even ONE person in your career finds the faith you've done a far better thing than you would have turning your back on your vocation and letting that one person burn. After all, our job isn't to always *succeed*, just to try! Maybe the one person you do save will go on to convert millions, who knows? Your part is to try and save who you can.

In any event, your worry sounds healthy to me, and normal. I'm always worrrying that there's something else I could do, or need to read or update or... Trying to do your best always has a component of feeling you are not doing *enough*. LOL, I'm afraid it's something you'll have to live with.

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), August 16, 2003.

Hi.

I'm just a small voice around these parts and not as theologically educated, but maybe my voice may give a little support to the powerful teachings you all provide. I look forward to you all's answers and have learned a tremendous amount about what Catholicism is. I am very fortunate to have stumbled across this forum when I did and to have questions answer from knowledgeable Catholics.

Things seem to always get worse, but we seem to always win.

Thanks for your strength. Thanks to God.

rod..

..<

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), August 16, 2003.

Skoobouy my prayers are with you. I dont know what to say, youre out there doing it and you make us all very humbled. You certainly have helped me on this forum. Teaching itself is a learning experience, very few teachers are *naturals* the connections are usually made through life experience. I am sure you are in a position to observe many wonderful teachers.We can not presume that people are *consciously* waiting to be saved, unhapy and unfulfilled etc without God. Humbleness, compassion, understanding love and warmth, humour and simple logic I think will help the "I am the master of my own destiny" generation.

"I am Mine" Pearl Jam

The selfish they’re all standing in line... Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time. Me, I figure as each breath goes by, I only own my mind.

The north is to south what the clock is to time. There's east and there's west and there's everywhere life. I know I was born and I know that I’ll die. The in between is mine. I am mine.

And the feeling it gets left behind... All their innocence lost at one time... Significant behind the eyes, there’s no need to hide. We're safe tonight.

Thats the mindest I come up against as well, Be not AFraid Skoobouy! Gotta go the the tides are just right for fishing, no better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Godbless

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), August 16, 2003.

Skoobouy,

-you are placing too much expectation in that which you have no control -what an other chooses.

Many have not and will not choose truth even if confronted with it or exposed to it -God is not a failure because of this -neither is any other that ministers God's word...

The pain you feel is because of the contrast you realize in others between what is vs. what is possible with God. IF you did not feel this pain you too would be lost and separate as 'they'... the depth of pain is directionally proportinate to the depth of understanding, faith and subsequently compassion. Your pain is your joy -realize it.

"As far as I can remember, every non-Christian or fallen-away Catholic I've tried to share my faith with has only come away with a harder heart than before."

hmmm... sharing faith with others can be accomplished many ways - talking, telling stories/parables, providing example by action and being etc. -if you are concerned with how you are delivering the message, maybe you should experiment with your style finding and refining what works best -irregardless, love others as God loves them however possible and be an example in all you do.

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), August 16, 2003.

Skoobouy,

Trust in Gods' mercy. His love is immense, and beyond our ability to understand.

God knows how much you love Him. Your prayers rare very powerful!

Keep praying, bro.

St. Monica pray for us.

-- .. (.@.....), August 16, 2003.

Dear Skoob, I feel for you brother, don't lose hope. "God's Word NEVER comes back void"... no matter what the reaction you see with earthly eyes, something's happening as a result of your words. It's really not our business to see the fruits, we just plant the seeds and God sends the waterers. I know it's not all that simple, but it's true, your obedience will be rewarded. Theresa

-- Theresa Huether (Rodntee4Jesus@aol.com), August 16, 2003.

My goodness, such a response! Empathy and solidarity; rare and precious gifts. My deepest thanks to all of you. I will take all of your words to heart and pray together with you; in time, perhaps God will permit us to understand things a little more.

-- Skoobouy (skoobouy@hotmail.com), August 17, 2003.

Skoobury...The following was written by Archbishop Romero, perhaps it will help you.

It helps, now and then, to step back and take the long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us. No statement says all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the church's mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything

This is what we are about: We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities. We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest.

God bless

Sara

†

-- Sara (sara_catholic_forum@yahoo.co.uk), August 17, 2003.

oh I love that,Sara, so good. I hope our brother Skoob can get his spirit lifted up. It's such a tender heart that suffers the bitter taste of seeing others so lost. There is a time for weeping, but a time for rejoicing in all Christ accomplished. It's He who'll bring it all to fruition, when all will be subject to Him. It's He indeed who takes the sting out of death.

hang in there, Skoobouy, persist in the good fight. your sis, Tee

-- Theresa Huether (Rodntee4Jesus@aol.com), August 18, 2003.

Skoobouy,

Please know that I am praying for you. I won't repeat all the wonderful things that have been said here, but please know that although you may not be seeing the results right now, the very fact that you are planting the seeds doesen't mean anything isn't happening to them. When we planted seeds in the garden the kids were out there everyday checking to see if they could see anything starting to come up. Every day, nothing. Then finally one sprout, then another, then another. But it took time, and although we could see nothing on the surface, there was lots going on under the ground. Also it depended on the plant as to when it came up. Some kinds of plants sprouted more quickly than others. So the different kinds of plants could be like the people in your life.

Spiritual things are going on all around us though we cannot see it, so many things could be going on, but they are not visible yet. God WILL bless your efforts, don't give up.

Carolyn

ps I also share your concern and worry. In particular in regards to my children, but also to all those around me.

-- Carolyn (ck_sunshine@hotmail.com), August 21, 2003.

Skoobouy,

What a great fellowship you have here.

As with the growth of a tree, only God can give another person their faith. Your job is to be patient and helpful where you can. Be a beacon of right thought and living. But it's the devil that makes you unhappy that you have not succeeded. You need to detach yourself from the effort a bit if that is what you are feeling.

Find yourself a good silent retreat and commune a little. It will bring you much peace.

I'll pray for you, for sure.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), September 07, 2003.

Jmj

Skoobouy, I hope that things have improved in the "mild sort of crisis" that you mentioned in the opening post of this thread.

I guess that I'm not going to help your mood much by posting the following, but I consider it necessary to ask you about this.

One of the most highly regarded lay philosopher/theologians of the 20th century was the late Dr. Dietrich von Hildrebrand -- an Italian transplanted to Austria and then the United States (fleeing Hitler). His widow, Dr. Alice von Hildebrand, was born in Belgium (where you are now in seminary), but has long resided in the U.S., where she has been a philosopher, author, and CCNY professor. In December, she published an article entitled, "From greatness to decadence -- The Catholic University of Louvain." If you have time to read it, perhaps you would also be willing to post your comments as to its accuracy. (Maybe you will even want to contact Dr. vH with your comments, positive or negative.) If you find that the link does not work, let me know and I will e-mail you a copy of the article.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 29, 2003.

Skoobouy,

God bless you. My husband was raised Catholic, has lots of issues from the past. I converted recently, and there are times he says things I've not liked ... I try not to argue but give a quick reply and let it slide as much as possible. Now suddenly he's talking about going to Mass with me. He sees I'm "into it" and I guess he desires to be involved in it for that reason. I have told him not to go just for me, I would prefer he go because he wants to go and not out of a sense of obligation. Will see what happens with that, and of course saying a prayer for you and the ones you love. :)

Marcia

-- Marcia Dietrich (marciadietrich@yahoo.com), December 29, 2003.