I am Catholic and my husband is Muslim. We were married in a civil ceremony two years ago. We would like to have our marriage blessed in the church. How do we go about that? Secondly, I am 8 months pregnant with our first child. Should we wait until I give birth before pursuing the blessing and the child's christining?

Please advise. Thank you.

-- Suzanne D Pouliot (zanpouliot@yahoo.com), July 31, 2003

Answers

Dear Suzanne,

There should be no problem having your marriage blessed in the Church, assuming there are no complicating factors like previous marriages. Make an appointment to speak with your parish priest about it. There is no specific reason to wait until after your child is born, but if you are already 8 months, and given that it may take a few weeks to make the arrangements and set a date, it looks like you may not have much choice in that regard.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), August 03, 2003.

Hi Suzanne... I just spoke to my priest today about this subject. My husband and I married 12 years ago, outside of the church. He is not catholic, I am. Recently I convinced him to start going to church with me.... I went to confession and asked about getting our marriage blessed, and also inquired about the church law about me receiving communion... I was told that my marriage could not be blessed, because in the eyes of the church, my marriage does not exist! The only way for me to be able to receive communion is to get married in church... so my question is this-- what if my husband does not want to get married in the church? Does this mean that I can never receive communion again???? How can the church put the ball in my husbands court when I am the one being condemned, and I am the one who is catholic??? As far as getting your marriage blessed, let me know if you find out anything other than what I was told, because I find that a little harsh.

-- tina esterline (tinari75@aol.com), February 21, 2005.

Tina,

Your priest is correct, technically. In my post above I said that Suzanne should be able to "get her marriage blessed" because that's the way the procedure is commonly spoken of. But technically there is no [valid] marriage to bless, and what she and you need is to get your marriages "validated", that is to say, made valid in the eyes of the Church. This does not require going through another "wedding". Speak to your priest about this. I don't see why your husband should object to this, especially if he knows how important it is to you. Until this is accomplished however, you cannot receive the sacraments. Also, I don't see how you can fault the Church for "putting the ball in your husband's court". It is you who entered into an invalid marital situation, in disobedience to the Church. The Church is willing to make it right for you.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), February 21, 2005.