Can I just get a blessing with my husband who is non-Catholic for communion in a full mass wedding ceremony? : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread

I am a Roman Catholic and my fiance is baptized Methodist. We want to have a full Mass for our wedding because it is extremely important to my parents (and many of the Catholic relatives on my side) to receive Communion. Being married in the Catholic Church is extremely important to me, don't get me wrong, but as a sign of unity, I asked the priest marrying us if I could receive a blessing, along with my husband, instead of Communion during the ceremony. He said absolutely not, but I don't understand why. Especially since I have seen it happen before. Any guidance would be so helpful. This is causing so much anger and resentment with my parents because they think I am abandoning my faith and upbringing.

-- Suzy Ramirez (, June 23, 2003



Hello, Suzy.
If you asked my opinion, I would advise you to receive Holy Communion, but I would respect your final decision.
Your pastor is wrong in trying to force you to receive. He too should only use persuasion (as I would), not force. It is always a Catholic's free-will decision to receive or not (unless, of course, she is not in a state of grace, in which case she must not receive).

Now let me try some persuasion on you! Please consider the fact that your choice not to receive Communion would be a great rarity, something unlikely ever to have been witnessed by anyone else attending the Mass. It could be misunderstood by the congregation as meaning that you are in a state of sin ... or that you lack Catholic faith in the Eucharist ... or that yours is an act of angry protest about the fact that your new spouse cannot receive. Those attending should not have to witness this unsettling/confusing action, in my opinion.

The Holy Eucharist is the summit of our faith and the greatest source of grace in which you can partake. It follows that you ought to long to receive Jesus on any day -- and particularly on the day on which you are embarking upon one of the most important journeys of your life.

Taking all things into consideration, Suzy, I hope that you will realize that it would be much better for you to receive Jesus than not to do so.

God bless you.

-- J. F. Gecik (, June 23, 2003.

It has always been my understanding that when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic they cannot actually have a full nuptial Mass, that it is a ceremony and a blessing, but not the Mass.

Am I wrong in this understanding?

-- R. (, June 23, 2003.

Yes, I totally agree with John here.

To not receive when you could receive is like accepting an invitation to the most sumptuous banquet in the world, prepared in your honor, and then not even tasting the food because you have a friend present that has dietary restrictions you do not even ascribe to.

Also, there is no requirement that a Mass accompany the marriage ceremony, and some opt out for just the reason described as not to offend non-Catholic spouses and their family. Its just that Suzy actually wants to have a Mass with her marriage ceremony in the case above.

-- Pat Delaney (, June 24, 2003.

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