I am a single never married Catholic. My love was married in the catholic church (she is catholic} but devorced (civil) and left with child after she found her Catholic husband (with in one year of marriage) with another woman. My love then remarried an alcoholic who mistreated her and finally devorced him about 12 years later. She then remarried an atheist who abusses and threatens her verbally. They are separating now .... would anulling the first marriage annull the rest and leave us free to marry.

-- Robert Prowse (robert.prowse@paradise.net.nz), May 18, 2003

Answers

Robert,

Unfortunately, no. Annulment investigations will have to be done on all three unions - though that can go on, more or less, simultaneously. The two of you should contact your local parish priest, or even better the diocesan Tribunal to begin the process and get some good information.

-- Fr. Michael Skrocki, JCL (abounamike@aol.com), May 18, 2003.

Robert,

The good news is that the decrees of nullity should be fairly easy to obtain for the second and third marriages. I'm assuming your girlfriend wasn't married in the Church those times (having been married previously, she wouldn't have been allowed to), and would thus qualify for an administrative annulment based on lack of canonical form.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), May 18, 2003.

No, they'd want to look at all three marriages from every possible angle before they'd let you get married. You might use the time, while you wait for the process to go it's course, to attend your local RCIA program. You can probably meet other prospective Catholics who are in a similar holding pattern. The support and commraderie from the RCIA team and fellow journeying Catholics and Catechumens can prove to be a very fullfilling part of your process.

If you have a good priest who will will work with you and follow the process with the Tribunal it can make the process go a little easier. If you don't feel that you are getting the help you need, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to several Priests until you find someone in whom you feel confidence in. Some Priests won't get involved in the process and it can get to be a long drawn out ordeal.

The annulment process can be a positive experience if you are patient and willing to let it be. It is easy to let yourself become bitter and dissillusioned; approach the process with prayer and a humble attitude and you'll get something out of it that you might not expect. You might also encounter others along the way in which you might be able to support and help them "get through it."

Have faith and patience and when you do finally make it to the point in which you and your "Love" can face each other in the sanctuary of the Church and bestow upon one another the most sacred sacrament of matrimony, you will hear God speak to you in a very special way.

Stay the course and take your time . . . you and your love have your whole lives ahead of you. Let Christ be your guide and be ready to walk whatever path the Spirit leads you.

-- Leon (vol@weblink2000.net), May 18, 2003.

Why would you call her your "love" if she is still married to another? If you do not have respect for their marriage now, and if she is returning the affection) what makes you think EITHER of you will respect your future marriage? I'd say you should pray a lot more on the situation and LISTEN to the priests you talk to before moving ahead in this area.

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), May 19, 2003.

Dear Moderator,
Please delete the message signed "JF Gecik" above.
As some here would have no trouble realizing, I did not write the message and would not agree with its contents.
It was written by our childish impersonator. This individual is now no longer guilty of pranks but potentially damaging statements, posting things that are directly contrary to what I would post and misleading to people who are coming here with reasonable questions.

Moderator, please send me a private e-mail message containing the IP address and suspected identity of the impersonator. I will determine where the intruder is functioning and will contact his/her parents, so that they can impose some discipline -- or, if the person is an adult who behaves like a child, I will contact his/her Internet Service Provider (and, if necessary, the FBI), so that appropriate action can be taken.
Thank you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), May 19, 2003.

Well currently she is still married to her first husband by church. You can't get divorced by church. I'm assuming that she married the other two by law and then divorce the second one. So she is married by church with the first husband and married by civil to the third husband? I don't want to seem harsh but if your love is a Catholic doesn't she know that she has been living in adultery since she left her first marriage. Before all of this gets solved, which will be a really long time, she needs to examine herself. I know that they seem to be three bad marriages, but marriage is something serious and it is for life. You two have to make sure that this is what you want and make sure that you won't be her fourth divorce.

-- Jay (jpt610@yahoo.com), July 09, 2003.