There seems to be a number of questions about the Marriage Sacrement and ways to get around it. I'd like to offer a frivolous example to help simplify the concept . . . which really is a very simple matter.

I have two lumps of Play Dough, one Blue, the other Yellow. If I work the two together, kneading them and folding them and meshing them together, it doesn't take long untill they're not Blue and Yellow anymore, they've turned green. It doesn't matter what I do or how loud I complain or how much I protest . . . my Play Dough is always going to be green now . . . it's changed forever and they're is no way I can ever get Blue and Yellow again.

That's a sacremental Marriage.

But, how about if I take the two lumps and just push them together a bit, maybe even squeeze them fairly hard or even really hard and then I take and put them back in the can. I can come back later and low and behold, if I really want to I could peel them apart and put them back in they're own seperate cans and they would hardly be any worse for wear.

All the Marriage Tribunal does is open the can and see what's inside, is the lump green . . . did the two give of themselves before God completely; or are there still two distinct lumps, just living in there side by side.

Thanks for indulging me, I'll go away peacefully now and you all can continue your banter.

-- Leon (vol@weblink2000.net), April 21, 2003

Answers

Dear Leon,

An interesting analogy, and it does make a good point. However, I think it misses an essential facet of the marital relationship (no analogy is perfect). Even in "becoming one flesh" through sacramental marriage, a man and woman do not lose their respective individualities. Rather, they become one precisely by accepting and honoring each other's individuality, ever seeking to validate and support their spouse's individual needs and preferences, striving even to place them above their own. Rather than resulting in some sort of irretrievable "blend" of their personal individualities into one common entity that is the average of the two, their mutual individualities are thereby supported, encouraged, and enhanced. In a healthy marriage, the two shall become ever more united, ever more one, by each recognizing and appreciating the individuality of their spouse, and thereby of themselves, ever more fully.

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), April 22, 2003.

Leon -what is your point? Go away peacefully -what is your banter may be anothers destroyed marriage...

Paul -who defines what a healthy marriage is? Furthermore, who then judges the healthy marriage?

In my opinion, ANYTHING other than truly objective criteria is in and of itself inherently with doubt -there is doubt or there is no doubt --there is not less doubt or more doubt... -when there is doubt -presumption is validity... The american tribunals are lost in this regard...

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), April 22, 2003.

Paul - your point is a good one. I was trying to define what happens to a baptised soul in the simpliest terms. A sacramental marriage leaves an indellible mark, a non sacramental marriage does not. You are quite right, a sacramental married couple are two distinct people . . . who's baptised souls have been changed fundamentally.

Daniel - I also agree with your point, I think. The Marriage Tribunal is a human institution trying to define something that is mystery itself. Trying to discern the workings of God in human terms, leaves some of the beauty of the mystery of God on the table. A fundamentally flawed endeavor. I know, I've been there. I submitted to the process and know first hand. I was in a marriage that, in my experience was immature and missing essential elements, but what those three well meaning gentlemen did with what was given to them was, as well as I could put it . . . in left field. I'm happy with the outcome and I love my family and my church, but I feel sorry for those who have to go through what I went through with the Tribunal.

On the other hand, I do appreciate the seriousness and richness that Catholics view the "Sacrament of Marriage." I feel at home in my adopted church and wouldn't have it any other way.

-- Leon (vol@weblink2000.net), April 22, 2003.