I'm doing a case study for my human sexuality and marriage class and i need to know if it is still possible for a couple to get married in the catholic church if a catholic woman is marrying a man, who wants to become catholic, but was married and divorced in India. He is here as a college exchange student. It it possible and if so what whould they have do?

Thanks, Alisha

-- Alisha Stephens (LilTeddy17@aol.com), April 09, 2003

Answers

Response to Can a catholic marry someone who was married and divorced in India?

I would have to believe that most of the responses you will recieve will tell you that the marriage in India needs to be annulled.

This bothers me some. Why is it that the Catholic church recognizes almost all marriages outside of the church when it comes to remarriage, but that same marriage is considered fornication if it is not initially done in the church?

I am currently divorced and beginning the process of seeking nulity of my marriage. I read many posters on this forum that seem to sound so conisending. I am sure that they are all well versed on the bible, but I can tell by a lack of empathy on the part of many of them that they have never been through such a situation. I am no longer married not of my choice. Even though now I believe it happened for a reason, at the time it was not my decision. Now I have to wait for a counsel of people that have never met myslef or my x wife to decide on whether we were ever really married or not.

To be honest I am really struggling with being a Catholic right now. I have not lost any faith that I have in God, but I am realizing that life as a Divorced Catholic is not an easy one. It is now that I am on "the outside looking in" that I realize how judgemental so many people are. Growing up as a Cathoilc I was taught that I always needed to listen to my conscious. That that little voice in my head was a way of God helping you out, telling you right from wrong. And the older I grew the more I found that voice to be right. It was just as I was always taught. The problem is now that voice is telling me I am doing the right thing and living a good life, but in the eyes of the church I am not. When I say this I mean that by being in a serious relationship with a wonderful person, that I feel has been a gift from God, while I am still married is looked down upon.

When I read the advice given out on this forum I often wonder what the goal or intent of the authors are. I wonder if they have ever experienced the pain of divorce. Is their intent to provide help and understanding in a way to encourage them to stay strong in their faith? Or are they attempts to justify their perfect lives and show their wonderful knowledge of scripture? All I know is that when I came to this forum I was looking for encouragement that even though I was struggling with being a Catholic, that things would be okay as I straightened my life out and as things started coming together. Now, thanks to many who I think of "Catholic-extremists" I am questioning even more whether this is something that I want to even be a part of.

I have and never will lose faith in God. I just wonder if many of the people that post in this forum actually believe that Jesus would reply to anyone who was seeking help in the ton and conisending mannor that some of you do.

Sorry if this was not a direct answer to your question. I guess I am venting some frustration.

Tom

-- Tom Ritkowski (TRit@hotmail.com), April 09, 2003.

Response to Can a catholic marry someone who was married and divorced in India?

Tom - My having been a member of this forum for a number of years now agrees with you fully. Both the tone and tenure of this fourm has never allowed compassion and humanity to express itself in full. Sadly the forum is at times a contrived effort by armchair self- elected Bishops.

That being said only Christ and you know the relationship. Love is patient Love is kind. Both those elements go begging often here. Christ knows your heart which we as free human beings follow. It is called human emotions.

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), April 09, 2003.

Response to Can a catholic marry someone who was married and divorced in India?

"...at the time it was not my decision."

Yes -that makes anything you do now OK -or maybe somethings you do now OK? :D

Two wrongs can make a right... The term for this is moral relativism. Moral relativisism is a bargaining of 'truth' -unlike ultimate truth which is as God...

-seek the real truth...

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), April 09, 2003.

Response to Can a catholic marry someone who was married and divorced in India?

> "It all depends an the GPS position of the town they got married."

That's pretty funny. What do you mean by that John?

-- Gordon (gvink@yahoo.com), April 10, 2003.

Response to Can a catholic marry someone who was married and divorced in India?

Jmj
Hello, folks.

The first thing that I want to say is this ...
The two messages attributed to me on April 10 and 11 were left by an impostor. (Gordon, I'm sorry that you didn't realize that. There are clues in those messages which could let you know that I did not write them.)
Moderator, please delete those prank-messages and make a note of the IP address for daily purges of all messages left by that impersonator.

Hello, Alisha. You wrote:
"... i need to know if it is still possible for a couple to get married in the catholic church if a catholic woman is marrying a man, who wants to become catholic, but was married and divorced in India. He is here as a college exchange student. It it possible and if so what whould they have do?"

They should visit the woman's Catholic pastor and work with him to do two things:
(1) Help the man to prepare to become Catholic.
(2) Begin the process for determining whether or not the man was (and still is, despite the divorce) involved in a valid marriage in India. Only if he was involved in an invalid "union" is he now free to marry the Catholic woman.

Tom, you wrote: "I would have to believe that most of the responses you will recieve will tell you that the marriage in India needs to be annulled. This bothers me some. Why is it that the Catholic church recognizes almost all marriages outside of the church when it comes to remarriage, but that same marriage is considered fornication if it is not initially done in the church?

Tom, you have three things wrong here:
----- We refer it to our church as the "Catholic Church" (with an upper-case "C").
----- We don't say that "the marriage in India needs to be annulled," because no one on earth can "annul" something (make it null). Instead the Church recognizes (and publicly declares) the inherent nullity of a non-existent union.
----- The marriage in India was not a Catholic marriage, so the Church does not consider it "fornication." The Church instead respects that marriage and presumes it to be valid until proved otherwise. [Someone has badly misinformed you.]

Tom, I don't believe that this thread of Alisha's is a place for me to address the misconceptions you have about marriage tribunals, following one's conscience, etc.. I suggest that you start a new thread to discuss these things. [Please check your dictionary. You are using a "word" that does not exist -- "conisending" -- and I don't know what the word is intended to mean.]

Jean B, you wrote: "Tom - My having been a member of this forum for a number of years now agrees with you fully."

We don't have "members" here, Jean. If we did, you would not qualify, because you try to deceive people by pretending to be Catholic. In reality, though, you are a heretic, and a self-admitted, ongoing adulterer. I ask you to absent yourself from the forum (which you hate and bad-mouth all the time, anyway) until your undergo a thorough reform and repentance. You do far more harm than good (to others and to yourself) here. The devil makes use of your errors here, Jean.

God bless all.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@Hotmail.com), April 14, 2003.

Response to Can a catholic marry someone who was married and divorced in India?

This case would also seem to qualify for the dissolution of the (valid, but non-sacramental) first marriage by the Pauline privilege.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), April 24, 2003.