Dear All,

When I had lot of problems and confusions in life I prayed to Jesus, attended many prayer meetings. One such meeting was on 2nd March, 2003. I was totally broken the previous day. That meeting really changed my life. The preacher in the meeting answered my questions which I was asking for long with the lord. It was unbelievable.

I got these two message in that meeting 1. I was told to shut he door for the devil which is troubling my lofe for long (The thought which ever is troubling me) and open the door for the lord. 2. That the lord is no more angry with me. ( For I felt that the lord was angry with me that is why he is giving me so much of mental problems.)

Then for a week I was very happy.

But again from 10th March, 2003. I could feel that the door which I had shut has opened and I am unable to close it anymore. I feel it is chasing me and coming behind me. This has made my life desperate again.

I cry out to the lord that he release me from these thoughts, But the more & more I pray the more & more the evil is entering me and my mind. Even in my dreams I could experience that evil following me.

I think this evil will not leave me.

I am scared. I think I may become mad soon or commit suicide out of frustration. ( I could already experience some abnoramlity within me)

I am all alone. I don't want to be a sinner but circumstances are making me become a sinner.

My marriage is getting delayed since long. Please pray that I get a good and loving husband and get married to him at the earliest with everybody's blessings. The one whom I loved is also not responding to me.

Please pray that Jesus touches me, heals me and forgives me. Only a miracle from the lord will help me now. Please pray for me.

Helpless Veena

-- Veena (prayer_301@yahoo.com), March 28, 2003

Answers

Sorry to hear that Veena. Don't get discouraged as that is a ploy of the devil. Have hope, and continue in your prayers.

I sometimes go through very difficult times with my own thoughts also, and I find it helps to have a change of scenery to help get yourself out of such frustrations. Try changing your daily habits, and keep yourself busy. Go for walks, once or twice a week. Go to Mass a few times in the week, etc. Change your routine. Try doing workouts, as excercise does help keep your mind healthy.

Pray the rosary at least a couple times in the week, asking Mary to help you out of your problems.

God bless, and I will pray for you. Don't get consumed by your thoughts. Take interest in other things. I pray that God sends you a very good husband. Take care.

-- Gordon (gvink@yahoo.com), March 28, 2003.

Veena, I felt like you some years ago, twice. All alone. I thought God had abandoned me. That he didn't love me anymore. Indeed, that NOBODY loved me. That I would be alone for the whole life.

Please follow Gordon’s advice.

Let me add that perhaps you should seek professional advice. I have suffered from depression before. It is a very common chemical condition of the brain, following personal mishaps. A good psychiatrist may help you, prescribing medicine that may help you.

Please, do not consider suicide. It is a very common feeling in depressive people, something that may be easily corrected with well- known drugs and treatment.

Your situation seems a very common one for me. Do not think you are the only one feeling the way you do. God wants us to seek help, spiritual and medical. Do as I say, seek a good (preferably catholic) psychiatrist and you should feel much better. I have had suicidal tendencies myself, and it turned out it was just lack of serotonine in my brain. A quick treatment was all I needed to get back to my senses.

God bless you.

-- Atila (me@somewhere.com), March 28, 2003.

Veena,

God is love. He always love you, as who you really are and NEVER GETS MAD AT YOU.

If you have a bible, please read this passage Luke 15,11-32. Or if anybody have an English translation of the Bible, please post it here because I don't have one (I have only in French). This passage illustrate genuinely the portrait of GOD as a LOVING FATHER, who is always loving, caring, patient, ...

Please be patient in praying. He will have ways to help you out of this depression. And most of all, do not loose your faith in HIS EVERLASTING LOVE,

God blesses :)

-- Theresa (thienthan70@hotmail.com), March 28, 2003.

Veena - I recall a " happening " once while saying my rosary on Church on a quiet afternoon. I felt a gentle breeze to the left of me which was calming and cooling as it was a hot summer day. To my surprise when I looked at the doors in the church all were closed.

A gift of awereness is what I felt was given.

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), March 28, 2003.

Jean, you must be a mystic? What a lovely story to be proud of!

-- Jean Willy (JWilly@hotmail.com), March 28, 2003.

Jean Willy - Thank you so much. Rather then pride I have felt humbled and very carefull with it so as not to throw pearls before swine. My parish refered to ma as the Guardian Angel for a few short years but has chnaged now to seeing as an intelligent compassionate man who " cares " far too much.

The kids loved it but the parents labelled me pedophile for the children came to me in tons during that period. Heard more stories of child abuse in the parish that was comfortable for the parents.

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), March 29, 2003.

Jean, what a sad story. I quess you pay for the graces.

-- Jean Willy (JWilly@hotmail.com), March 29, 2003.

Hi, Veena. I remember you since December. You did something in the past that still tortures you, even in your sleep. This makes you suicidal.

I have done many bad things in my past, for which, I sometimes asked God if he will forgive me. We are not alone. Moses killed a man in a wrath. David committed murder and adultery. The apostle Paul tortured and persecuted the Church of Jesus. Peter denied Jesus. Saint Augustine lived a life of too much sex as a young man. Saint Francis was a soldier. The list is long....

Yet, God sometimes shows his mercy when we look for him. Moses became the lawgiver, David was told that of his kingdom there will be no end, Saint Paul became the apostle to the gentiles ( todays Catholics, christians, Protestants, Orthodox...). Saint Peter was given the keys of the new Church.

Don't despair. Forgive yourself first. Do charity work for others. Then you will find peace. We cannot change the past, we we could surely alter and change our future.

May the love of Yahweh our God and his Son Jesus Christ be with you always.

-- Elpidio Gonzalez (egonzalez@srla.org), April 01, 2003.

Veena,

Let me begin by giving you a big, Christian sisterly (((hug))). Know that you are loved here.

If I, a total stranger, show you love, imagine how much more, God, who created you, loves you!

Luke 15:11-32 is the story of the Prodigal Son. Jesus told this story to demonstrate the great mercy and forgiveness of our loving Father in Heaven.

Do you know how to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet? Jesus promised St. Faustina that those who entrusted themselves to His Divine Mercy, although their sins be scarlet he would regard them as white as snow.

Follow the advice given by the others, especially Atila. God has most certainly forgiven you, as you seem sincerely sorry, but you must also forgive yourself and others. Try often to reach out to others who have problems, sickness, or sorrows. When you look upon the sufferings of others, your problems will seem much smaller.

Go to this site: http://www.markhargrave.com/chaplet.html and pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Jesus wishes every sinner to come to font of His Divine Mercy. He forgives--and FORGETS! Place yourself in the secure abode of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Within His Heart, you will find a safe refuge from evil.

Veena, I am a huge sinner, but I can take consolation from Jesus' words, "Wherefore, I say to thee: Many sins are forgiven her, because she hath loved much." Luke 7:47

May your guardian angel keep his wings around you, and the Blessed Virgin Mary cover you with her mantle of protection.

Pax Christi.

-- Anna<>< (flower@youknow.com), April 02, 2003.