for those of us who re feeling OLD!!!

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Sometimes I can really relate to these!!!...

Old Age 1: An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."   Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed covers and got out of bed. Where are you going?" she asked. To get my teeth!"

Old Age 2 : Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Old Age 3 : Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and she said, "Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mable answered, "I have ? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."

Old Age 4: Three sisters aged 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I gettin' in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." ---

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2003

Answers

OH these are great!! Thanks! I needed a laugh. Knock, knock, who's there...oops. Gotta see who's at the door....

Doesn't take much to get a laugh out of me these days!

Thanks again.

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2003


This isn't a joke but I thought it was funny. My Grandmother was 96 and in the hospital. She told me that she had a secret to tell me but if she did, my life would be in danger. I said, "Okay" My sister went nuts with curosity. She kept saying, "Didn't you want to know?" I said, "I figured it was the drugs talking" (She kept seeing snakes)

One possible secret could have been from during WWI. The Germans used the family's house as a headquaters. They had to climb over sleeping soldiers to use the outhouse at night. Something could have been overheard. (She kept traveling back and forth in time at this point) The other was that a Russian prince fell in love with a Polish peasant and left his country to marry his love. Kind of romantic. When my uncle would ask his aunts about that story, they would all tell him it was none of his business, not laugh it off as being unlikely. Ah, Royalty in my blood.

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2003


Ah, another Queenie in our midst! One of Julie's nicknames (in the family) is Queenie. Comes from her regal bearing and imperious surveying of her "subjects" -- at all of about 2 years old.

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2003

Heard a cute one on Prairie Home Companion tonight.

Two elderly couples had finished sharing a meal at one of the couple's home. The women went into the kitchen to make tea, and one ol guy says to the other,"We went out to eat at a really good restaurant last weekend."

"Didja now"? said the second man, "what was the name of it?"

"Hmmm........can't remember...........a new place.......let's see, what's the name of that flower that you give to someone you love, has thorns........"

"A rose"? asks his friend.

"That's it all right! Say, Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to last weekend?"

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2003


Marcia, I gotta tell ya, Your first joke just cracked me up, I have been telling it to everyone I can. I can just see that ole guy jumping up angry out of bed, to go and get his teeth.

Thanks much Marcia. sunshine and smiles are good.

Love Tren

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2003



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