Thank you... I am a practising Catholic wishing to marry a divorced Christian man. He was married for about 20 years and has two older children, 19 and 21 years of age. He is 43 soon. I am nearly 34 years old. I have never married and have no children. Since he was married so young and says to me that he has never felt this way before ( I know this sounds cliche) with our relationship, and that the stresses that his career has caused on his previous marriage, has he grounds to ask for an annulment? What are the steps he and I need to take so that we can get married in the Catholic Church? I sincerely ask for your help and guidance in starting our future on a strong faithful road... Nicole Edwards

-- nicole edwards (comoskarl@yahoo.com), March 13, 2003

Answers

Response to Never married catholic, Marrying Divorced Military Christian

If I may - my first thought it appears he is still married. This is tough stuff for both of you. Military life is no picnic for sure and does destroy marriages by the ton. Military " widows " are acknowledged these days even the upper echelon is still male dominated.

As to the annullment a good understanding priest should be able to help and bring you both forward in loving one another as Christ told us in The Eleventh Commandment. Good luck.

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), March 13, 2003.

Response to Never married catholic, Marrying Divorced Military Christian

Take a hike! Let him in peace, adultery is on your brain at 34? You think an annulment is a salad to order?

-- Peer (PeerStrait9@orto.net), March 13, 2003.

Response to Never married catholic, Marrying Divorced Military Christian

Dear Nicole, In your post you say you want to start your future on a strong and faithful road and you ask for help and guidance. I want to direct you to this website www.marriagedivorce.com to understand more fully what God's word says about marriage divorce - remarriage . . . . there is a thorough document called "The Restoration of Christian Marriage" that I recommend. Both you and the man you talk about should read this. Nicole- God has such an awesome plan for each of our lives . . . Love is so wonderful . . marriage can be so wonderful ---- it is also very difficult . . and satan loves to see families torn apart. The man you are talking about marrying is already someone else's Husband. As a sister in christ- even though I don't know you - i feel obligated to encourage you to wait for the one our Heavenly Father has created just for you. Despite how things feel, God's will is for him to remain faithful to his marriage. If he entered into his marriage freely chosing to enter into a permanent, exclusive and mutual partnership for life, it is a valid marriage. God hates divorce. You are 34, in love and wanting to be married . . . and the last thing you probably want to hear is that you should not proceed. But it is always much better to listen to God. If its OK for him to leave his family now, won't that make it ok for him to leave you in 20 years. Of course not - it's not OK. Trust Him Nicole, God has much greater plans for you. Nicole - please know that I write each word of this out of love. God loves you so very much. His ways are so much better than our own. I wish you the very best and will keep you and the man you write about and his family in my prayers.

-- Sister (anonymous@concerned.com), March 14, 2003.

Response to Never married catholic, Marrying Divorced Military Christian

Nicole,

Please visit your local pastor to begin the process of determining whether your boyfriend's first marriage was valid. With the little information you provided on your first post, we here on this forum cannot make that determination.

-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), March 14, 2003.

Response to Never married catholic, Marrying Divorced Military Christian

Nicole, ask again in a new thread and ask for an answer from JF.Gecik. He knows an awful lot and he's very willing to share his wisdom with us. Hope this helps.

-- Rosemary Longpipe (Rosemarry3lp@yahoo.com), March 17, 2003.

Response to Never married catholic, Marrying Divorced Military Christian

Hi, Rosemary. Thanks for your very kind words.

Nicole started this thread, so she doesn't have to start a new one to get an answer from me. Actually, I looked at this thread a couple of days ago, but I decided not to post a message, because I could not add to Glenn's good advice. We are not qualified to make a judgment on the likelihood of a tribunal's actions.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), March 17, 2003.