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Charles Carrington the Third, private butler and estate manager to The King of Pop, Mr. Michael Jackson
Michael is busy with the lawyers during the daytime, and has special guests at night. He is too busy to read all of these, but i do show him 25 per day. If you would like to ask something, or have any requests for us, let me know. I'll be oh so happy to help you. We want you to be very very happy. Please keep buying the music. Don't download it for free, no, no, no. We do allow some fans to visit Neverland, but only when Michael is sitting up in his tree writing his music, and well concealed. We do not encourage visitors to touch Michaels VIP mannequins who are his best and closest friends. Michael likes to play SUBMARINE with his very special guests, so if you are cute, send a pic, and we may see you at Neverland....but Never Never tell anyone how much fun we have!!! As you know Mikey is very very generous and buys Elizabeth Taylor treasure chests of jewels, but please do not ask for this for yourselves. We do this to thank her for the many wonderful things she has to say about the King of Pop. Michael wants all of you to know that he loves chocolate cake as much as anyone, and is eating it a lot, in hopes that his skin color returns to at least a darker beige. Please remember him at the holidays, and know that he loves you all. We all do. Happy thoughts and sweet dreams to all our woinderful friends. Be extra specially nice to all the animals and the children. The meek shall inherit the earth.
-- Charles Carrington the Third, private butler and estate manager to (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 12, 2003