How to get Married? : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread

I am a Hindu and want to get married to a christian girl! How do we go about getting married with out any change in religion for both of us?

-- hari (, March 03, 2003


Hello, Hari.

Simply arrange to have a meeting of the two of you with your friend's pastor (priest or minister) at his residence. He will know what is required, and what is permitted, by secular and religious law.
I will pray that you will become a Christian one day soon.

God bless you.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 03, 2003.

Oh goodness! Whenever we see a non Christian we have to put to their faces - will pray for you so that you convert! They must be fed up with us, praying (preying!) catholics!

-- Max (, March 04, 2003.

Hm! A christian girl you want? All right! Start with falling in love with one. When that is done, ask again, we take it step by step.

-- Peter Dorttmund (, March 04, 2003.

> "They must be fed up with us, praying (preying!) catholics!"

So praying for someone is now a terrible thing! Would you prefer that we curse them?

I will pray for your conversion. :)

btw: Jesus prayed for people! The nerve of that guy!

-- Gordon (, March 05, 2003.

Hi, Max.
I have a few questions for you.

1. Are you a Catholic?
2. Would you like for Hari (the Hindu) to become a Catholic?
3. Do you love Hari (that is, with Christian love, as taught by Jesus)?
4. I think that "to prey upon" means "to kill in order to eat." Did you realize that you were depicting "praying" (speaking to God) as a form of killing?

Please answer as soon as you can.
God bless you.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 06, 2003.

Hello, Max.

I was surprised that you didn't answer my very simple questions. Were you afraid to admit the true answers in public?

You wrote: "I don't think you got the point. You think all catholics must be like you?"

I definitely got the point, but I decided to use an "indirect" way to approach what you seemed to be saying. Instead of assuming what you believed on a couple of key matters, I asked you questions about them. By not answering, you leave me no choice but to make assumptions. (I'll get to those assumptions in a moment.)

It's interesting that you asked me a question ("You think all catholics must be like you?"), without having first answered my questions. That was impolite, but I will answer you anyway.
Certainly, I do not think that all Catholics [capital "C"] must be like me. There is much legitimate diversity within the unity of Catholicism. However, all Catholics must believe as I do, if I believe what the Catechism teaches about faith (the content of religious truth) and morality (living out that truth). And I do believe what the Catechism teaches. [If someone becomes a Catholic, but then disbelieves something that is taught by the Catechism, one is at least a dissenter (not a good Catholic) and is potentially a heretic or apostate.]

You also wrote: "Sorry not to carry your game further, it's Lent now and I have more important things to go through."

Max, any "regular" here at the forum will tell you that I would never play a "game" with something so serious as the salvation of your soul and Hari's. And salvation is the most "important thing to" be concerned about during Lent (and always).

As I mentioned earlier, I will have to assume how you would have answered my questions from last time ...

I asked you, "1. Are you a Catholic?" You didn't answer, but you did refer to "catholics" who may not be like me. This seems to indicate that you consider yourself "catholic." From conversations with others in the past, I know that this can indicate that (a) you are a parishioner at a genuine Catholic Church that is in union with the pope, or (b) you attend services at a schismatic or Protestant church that refers to itself as "catholic." If "(a)" is the case, then it appears that you have not been taught at least one important thing by your pastor (or you have rejected something that was taught).

I asked you, "2. Would you like for Hari (the Hindu) to become a Catholic?" You didn't answer, but other things that you said earlier in the thread indicate that your answer would be (a) "No" or (b) "It doesn't matter to me, because his being Hindu is good enough, as it is just another way for him to approach God." Neither answer (a) nor (b) is acceptable from a Catholic. Catholics know that Jesus founded their Church and that he wants every human being to be a practicing Catholic. Therefore, every Catholic must wish that Hari would be baptized and join our Church. (And that is why I told him that I pray for that to become a reality.)

I asked you, "3. Do you love Hari (that is, with Christian love, as taught by Jesus)?" You did not answer, but I will assume that your answer is "yes." A person who "loves" another with Christian love desires "the good" for that person -- i.e., the greatest possible good things that he/she could have in this life and the next. There is nothing in this life that is "the good" more than to be a Catholic -- able to receive the Sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist. If you really love Hari (or any other non-Catholic), therefore, you will desire the greatest good for him in this life -- i.e., that he would become a Catholic. To be unconcerned that a Hindu remains a Hindu is to fail to demonstrate true Christian love for that person. This theological error is often called "religious indifference."

I asked you, "4. I think that 'to prey upon' means 'to kill in order to eat.' Did you realize that you were depicting 'praying' (speaking to God) as a form of killing?" You did not answer, but I will assume that you grasped my point and that you will stop thinking of the beautiful practice of prayers for peoples' conversion to Catholicism as "preying" upon anyone or anything.

God bless you.
PS: Max, I was wondering -- are you a "teen," as your e-mail address implies? Also, are you male (e.g., Maxwell/Maximilian) or female (e.g., Maxine)? It feels a bit awkward not to know your sex when you know mine.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 09, 2003.

Just to calm down your literary fountain, John - how about these words of Paul VI: "This dialogue is not aimed to obtain immediately the other's conversion because it respects his dignity" but "to serve the cause of the peace between people". From the "Ecclesiam suam" document about an oecumenical dialogue. Just to let you know what Max probably had on mind... (regardless of his age and sex). I do agree with him.

-- Tom (, March 12, 2003.

Hi Hari, I am a christian girl married to a hindu. We first had a hindu type of marrige and then a christian type marriage. You could do the same. Dont worry about converting, no one has to convert. After marriage you can practise your faith and your wife her faith. We do the same. My husband comes to the church with me and I go to the temple with him. Good Luck.

-- Susan (, March 13, 2003.

Hello, "Waspy Tom."

I'm not sure what to make of your post. You referred to something as a way to "calm down [my] literary fountain." I have never heard that expression, and I cannot decipher what you meant by it.

However, let's look at what you then sought to quote, from Pope Paul VI's 1964 encyclical on ecumenism -- in the middle of Vatican II, when (the pope said) the Church was reaching out to make contact with the rest of the world: "This dialogue is not aimed to obtain immediately the other's conversion because it respects his dignity"

I'm sorry, Tom, but I will rely instead on the Vatican site's official translation: "If, in our desire to respect a man's freedom and dignity, his conversion to the true faith is not the immediate object of our dialogue with him, we nevertheless try to help him and to dispose him for a fuller sharing of ideas and convictions."

It is clear that the pope (like me) does desire the "conversion to the true faith" of each non-Catholic -- though it is not expected to happen in some immediate, "magical" way. The pope did not contradict what I said originally to Hari -- that I would pray for him to become a Christian.

If you think that the pope agreed with you and Max, then you haven't read Paul VI's 1975 apostolic exhortation, "Evangelii Nuntiandi" (On Evangelization in the Modern World) -- the very first paragraph of which states the following:
"There is no doubt that the effort to proclaim the Gospel to the people of today ... is a service rendered to the Christian community and also to the whole of humanity."

God bless you.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 14, 2003.

Mina, the answers to your questions are ...
(1) For both of them.
(2) No.
Suggestion: Go your separate ways. Trust God to help you find a good unmarried Catholic man for you to marry.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 17, 2003.

OK, I take it. Now I will look for a man with an annulment already ready so that I know he can marry me. This one had too many divorces and I think he could divorce me too, ha ha. Thanks so much!

-- Mina (, March 17, 2003.

hmm, i'm sorry to say but all religions have contreversy, i don't think any one religion is the right one, everyone has their own beleifs and i think that if you find someone you love, that God has sent to you, then obviously religion is of no consiquence.

yes, i may be a 15 year old girl at a catholic school, but i know that there is no one religion, everyone is entitled to their own beleifs. I totally agree with Susan, why can't you have it both ways. asking the woman or man you love to convert is unfair, why shouldn't you convert to their religion? i think you should talk to your preist and do what Susan did, love shouldn't have anything to do with religion...

-- Melanie Hutchison (, April 07, 2003.

Dear Melanie,

Either a person seeks the will of God, and enters into eternal life, or ignores the will of God and loses eternal life. For anyone who desires salvation and eternal life, the will of God has consequences for every aspect of human activity. The Bible tells us, "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God". (1 Cor 10:31) This is how to live as a Christian, as a Catholic. If God is of no consequence in a particular dimension of your life, then that aspect of your life will simply be ungodly, drawing you away from God and from eternal life.

Love shouldn't have anything to do with religion?? The Bible tells us God IS LOVE. God shoudn't have anything to do with religion?? Love shouldn't have anything to do with God? There is no love except in God. Attraction without love is lust, and attraction without God is attraction without love.

The fact that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs does not mean that all beliefs are equal. Some beliefs are true. Others are false. The mere fact that someone is entitled to be wrong is not a good reason to avoid the truth. Jesus said "I am the truth". If you reject the truth, you reject Jesus, the Savior. If you reject the Savior, you reject salvation. Yes, people are entitled to go to Hell if that is their choosing. But what a tragic and foolish choice that would be!

-- Paul (, April 07, 2003.

I believe you can both keep your own faith, but it's most important to discuss how will you raise your children. You both must agree to raise them one or the other, or both, or neither. You don't want your religious background to ruin your marriage. I think it's good that you can respect each other's religion, but if she is catholic you must also be catholic to be married into the catholic church, so you two really need to discuss these issues with both your temple and her church. Although, this is a serious issue and I think you should both seek marriage counseling before getting married, it will really help you with this question.

-- Skyler (, February 25, 2005.

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