Non-Catholic and Catholic marriagegreenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread
Hey, have got something that has been bothering me a bit lately and i though i'd actually try ask here to see if i could get an answer. i am currently considering marriage to my long term partner, but am unwilling to go for it until i have got this sorted out in my mind. I am a non catholic christian, and have been all my life, although my exact denomination is a bit unsure, my partner is catholic and says that she would only be married if we had a catholic ceremony in a catholic curch with a catholic priest, and that any other form of marriage would not be real for her. if this is the only option then i will have to accept it, but i want to know what options are open, as i always thought i'd be married in my church by a baptist minister who is a very close family friend, idealistic i know, but. so really what i want to know is what are the options for a catholic and a non catholic wedding?
-- Ian Frankham (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 02, 2003
Ian, you asked, "What are the options for a Catholic and a non-Catholic wedding?"
Are you asking about "mixed marriages" in general or about your own?
If you are asking about your own potential marriage, then it seems that you have just one option -- the one you mentioned: "my partner is catholic and says that she would only be married if we had a catholic ceremony in a catholic curch with a catholic priest, and that any other form of marriage would not be real for her."
If that is what she has said, it seems that you should accept it or break up with her. (By the way, your Baptist minister friend can be present at a Catholic wedding and can participate in a limited way.)
If you were asking what is permissible, in general, in mixed marriages, let me know, and I'll tell you next time.
God bless you.
-- J. F. Gecik (email@example.com), March 02, 2003.
what i was asking was what are all the options, the reason she says that she will onl be married in a catholic church is because she thinks that that is the only permissable optioni know that i will have to talk to both her pastor and mine, but i am just trying to find out some background info before i go much furthur. thanks for everyones input on this though
-- Ian Frankham (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 03, 2003.
Hello again, Ian.
You just now wrote: "what i was asking was what are all the options, the reason she says that she will only be married in a catholic church is because she thinks that that is the only permissable option."
It's too bad, my friend, that you didn't mention that in your opening message, because I would have given you a different answer! What you originally said about your friend strongly indicated to me that she knew that she could get permission to be married in a non-Catholic ceremony, but would not consider doing that anyway. All right. You have cleared up that misunderstanding. You think that she would reconsider, if she knew that other licit (religiously legal) possibilities existed.
So you are asking for "all the options" for your "mixed marriage" that would satisfy Catholic marriage law? I believe that they are these:
1. You could take part in a Catholic marriage ceremony within the context of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. [Such a ceremony takes place when two Catholics marry and a priest is present.]
2. You could take part in a Catholic ceremony within a shorter service -- a Liturgy of the Word (prayers, scripture readings, etc.) without the Liturgy of the Eucharist (consecration, Holy Communion, etc.). [I attended such a service when one of my cousins married a Protestant man.] This option is not used only for a mixed marriage, though. Two Catholics may marry in such a ceremony when no priest can be present (but instead a deacon or other official witness).
3. If the Catholic bishop grants permission to your friend (a dispensation from the usual "canonical form"), she could join you in taking part in a ceremony within a non-Catholic religious building or another suitable place. The Baptist minister you mentioned could officiate.
You can read more details about laws and regulations on mixed marriages, ceremonies, witnesses, exchange of vows, etc., in (1) the Code of Canon Law ( canons 1124 and following) and (2) in paragraph 143ff of the Vatican's Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on Ecumenism.
Thanks, Glenn, for defending my original message. You have perfectly understood the situation, while "JohnV5" misunderstood. I could say more, but I am not interested in getting into a conflict with him. [I saw what happened when he fought with others in January, and I have decided not to repeat that unpleasantness. I just ask that folks trust what I write unless and until someone presents documentary proof that show that I am wrong (in which case I will admit my error). As you know, Glenn, it is wrong for a Catholic, even a priest (like JohnV5?), to think that this forum's laity are incapable of giving correct answers to basic queries about marriage, nullity, etc..]
God bless you.
-- J. F. Gecik (email@example.com), March 03, 2003.