Can a Divorced Catholic Woman marry a Divorced Non-Catholic Man at a Catholic Church?

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My fiancee and I have been troubled by our situation. I am a non-Catholic twice divorced man and she is a one time divorced Catholic. She wants to be married in a Catholic church, hopefully in the local Cathedral. I would like this also. I do not wish to join the Catholic church but wish that any children we should have should be raised Catholic and attend Catholic school. Her ex-husband was abusive and controlling and also partook in criminal activities which I shall not bother to mention. My first wife was Catholic and we were married at a Catholic ceremony. I am still friends with her. We both agree that we should not have gotten married since we were both young and did not realize the challenges life would give us. My second wife was not Catholic and we were married in an outdoor ceremony. We also agreed that we made a poor choice but were somewhat pressured into the marriage by our families. My fiancee has a child from her first marriage. I have a couple of questions and I would like to see if I can get them answered.

1) Can we get married at a Catholic church? 2) Can her daughter be raised a Catholic and attend Catholic school. 3) If we do not get married in a Catholic church, can any children we have be raised Catholic?

I am a religious man. I believe in God very much. I also believe that God brought my fiancee and I together because we were made to be together. For the first time in my life, I know what Love feels like. I don't think it was an accident that we met, or just a coincidence that we feel like this about each other. I believe God gave us to each other and wants us to have a happy life together. Please help us. If we cannot get married in a Catholic church, we will still get married but it will be a religious ceremony.

I would appreciate any help and counseling on this.

-- Ernest H Kampmann Jr (ekampmann@brandscaffold.com), February 17, 2003

Answers

If you are divorced, and have not received an annulment from the Church, you are still married in the eyes of the Church - and in the eyes of God. Therefore, as much as you love each other - and I do not doubt that you do love each other - you cannot remarry in the Catholic Church. Have you talked with a priest about whether it's possible for your prior marriage(s) to be annulled? That is the most important thing you can do right now.

On the other hand, this is a separate issue from raising your daughter in the Church. If you truly believe that the Catholic Church is the true Church founded by Christ, then you certainly may - and should - raise her in this Faith, even if you yourself are unable to keep all its precepts. God bless you and please let us know what happens. :-)

-- Christine L. :-) (christine_lehman@hotmail.com), February 17, 2003.


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