Ever wonder....??

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.......??

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2003

Answers

I know why women (or anyone) can't put on mascara with their mouth shut -- opening your mouth steadies your eyes. Actually, when I used to wear mascara, I had gotten to the point where I could do it without my mouth open. But I'm naturally talented! :-P

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2003

Well, over in the UK there is rabbit flavoured dog food, and my dogs just LOVED it. Now they make it here too and the dog is very very happy. Altho she would much rather have the bunny alive in the dish where she could do the dispatching herself. She'd also like a live and squeaking guinea pig in the dish, thank you.

There's no mouse-flavoured cat food because it would gross out cat food buyers. Betcha the cats would approve.

I think I've mentioned in past that I'm somewhat psychic, so I can answer the question about winning the lottery. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a tuner dial on it. I one time had an astounding intuition as to what the winning lottery numbers were. I started scribbling them down as fast as I could find a pen, but by the time we'd gotten to the third number, it all fizzled out. NO intuition as to what the other three should be. So I went and put down a dollar, and marked my card with the three numbers I'd had such strong feelings on, and guessed on the other three.

Three of the numbers on my card were picked -- the three I'd had the hunch on. The other three I guessed on were wrong. For getting three right, I collected $5. I thought that since the lottery was for $23 million and I'd gotten half the numbers, I should have gotten $11.5 million -- right?

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2003


Oh yeah. And if 'in' is a prefix to indicate an opposite of the word it modifies, (such as incontinent being the opposite of continent), why do we have words like 'inept' in use, but no use of the word 'ept' to describe someone who is graceful.

Inebriated for someone who is incapacitated by alcohol, but never speak of someone who is a tee-totaler as being 'ebriate'?

No wonder aliens come here from outer space to laugh at the quaint ignorant savages.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2003


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