Can a Roman Catholic marry a divorcee non-Catholic who has not been baptized before any only married for conviencegreenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread
I would like some advice PLEASE. I am a Roman Catholic and i have never been married before, on the other hand my boyfriend was married before. He got married when he was only 20 to an English girl so he could stay in the country, they went to the registary office and signed the papers, there was no marraige ceremony or anything not even rings. Almost immediatly they didn't get along they had only known eachother for 5 months before they got married so during the whole 2years they were together they fought like cats and dogs the only reason why they stayed together for so long was to be entitled to apply for residency in the country. He now is 28 and has been divorce for quite a while. My boyfriend is not Catholic, and was never baptised in any religion, he was not given the previlige to learn any religon whilst growing up. Now i would like to get married in my church, is this possible? i did not tell anyone about this not even my family as i belive that they would have judged him and not taken him for who he is but for what he had done. Now we have been together for 3 years and i am worried that they will have to find out when we get married. How can we go around this?? Thank you very much for your help.
-- Jessica Borg (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 20, 2003
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! BY THE WAY MY PARTNER KNOWS WHAT HE DID WAS REALLY YOUNG AND WRONG, BUT KNOWS THAT HE CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.HE IS CONSIDERING JOINING THE CATHOLIC CHURCH,PLEASE ANSWER
-- Jessica Borg (email@example.com), January 20, 2003.
Jessica, instead of writing about their fights you should say the important stuff - was his wife baptised before their marriage? In what a church? Are they married in a church? What church? Cheers!
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 20, 2003.
I was trying to expalain the situation and before i even mentioned there fights i did say quote,"they went to the registary office and signed the papers, there was no marraige ceremony or anything not even rings" so therefore they were not married in any church!! Now to answer your question she was baptised in the Greek Orthodox church. The plan was that if they ever wanted to get married to stay together then they would get married in a church. As it was of convienence
-- Jessica Borg (email@example.com), January 21, 2003.
Hey, take it easy with people who want to help you! The personal fights have nothing to do with the validity or not of their marriage. If you wanted to declare null all the marriages where there are fights you would need to declare null the 99.9% of them. She's a greek orotodox, not married in her church. With all the probability her marriage is not valid for her church. BUT! His marriage IS valid in the eyes of the catholic church, even if the marriage was just a civil act (no matter the rings were missing...). Go to your local pastor if you don't believe me. Cheers.
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 21, 2003.
You have to understand that the catholic church doesn't impose any rules for non baptised or non catholics when they want to get married. Once they get married their marriage is valid because the marriage is indissoluble of it's nature even before it is indissoluble by the church law. The obligation of a church wedding is valid only for baptised catholics. Cheers!
-- (email@example.com), January 21, 2003.
If you don't understand where i am coming from then that is your problem I have already spoken to my pastor and he spoke to the Tribunal, who said that it is not going to be a problem at all, and like i said before and you must not of read it, it was a marraige of convienience so it does make a big differnece if you marry out out of love or to get a passport because you are desperate to stay in the country!!!!!for some reason your mind is stuck on where i wrote (fight ) and everything else i wrote you don't seam to remember. and actually it is the Greek Orthodox church who does recognizes it! Please if you don't have any factual things to say, or anything nice to say then don't say it. You shouldn't tell people what they should and should not say. I have had enough of this I come for some help and all I get is dissed for the way that I express my self!!!!
-- Jessica (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 21, 2003.
If you think you understand it better than me then have a good day! Don't be surprised though...
-- (email@example.com), January 21, 2003.
Marios, from my experience it is better to leave her for the "surprise" instead of trying to explain it to her. If they were not married in the eyes of the catholic church then the tribunal would have nothing to do with it. If they are married in the eyes of the Greek ortodox church then it would be even more difficult for her to get the nullity from us. Let the burden for the tribunal or you loose your energy.
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 21, 2003.
I am sorry if i have been rude in any way but you don't understand the amount of stress that we are going through, and just because i mentioned there fights i was jumped on i don't think was fair. Now i obviously don't no more than any of you as i would never have looked on the internet and found you guy, that is why i came here for help!!! The stress has been building up for a very very long time,as she has been very un co-operative, for example, i met him 1year after they broke up after that she did her best for them not to get divorced infact it took 4 years as she kept throwing the papers away, so when it comes to an annullment or dispensation don't know what is going to happen, but i spoke to many different Monsignors etc. etc. and they belive that it should be fine, as it was a convienence marriage. To be honest he admits that he never understood what a marriage ment untill he met me and only because i spoke to him about religion (very religious family). (He does not know anything about religion) Now personnally i know that God knows that the marriage never was and i hope that the church realises that!!! I hope that he will not be punished for the mistake that he made when he was so young! Especially since he has found God now and wants to be part of our religion, hope he won't be shut down. Well like i said i am stressed and if i sounded like a bad person i didn't mean too!!!!
-- Jessica (email@example.com), January 22, 2003.
No problem on my side Jessica. Let it for the big guys, it takes some time.
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), January 22, 2003.
Well, well...there's been many threads here about something that's been on my mind as well, as I'm dating a recently divorced wonderful mother of 2. Anyway, what I found in the bible says that the only reason allowable to divorce is adultery. Otherwise, after the divorce, if either person re-marries, they are committing adultery themselves. Now, there may be some considerations toward whether the person was baptized, a Christian, or a Catholic. But, as far as I can tell, the best thing to do would be to avoid dating divorcees in the first place so your feelings don't grow for them. However, now that you have, you have some tough decisions to make. It may be important to look into their character (as it is now) to see if they continue to do things that may be immoral, borderline illegal, or attempts to shortcut the "system", which they make a million excuses of justification for. I realize this is difficult for you, but continue to pray for an answer. God Bless! - Vic
-- Vic R (email@example.com), February 09, 2003.
Hello vic, Thank you for your information, I am extremely lucky for many reasons because the man i am going to marry when the time comes in the future is just an amazing person. Regarding the situation, it is going to be solved we have been to the Tribunal and they have started the procedure for a dispensation of Marraige. Since he was never baptised in the eyes of the church he was never married. He also has started Catacism to become a Catholic which is excellent, he is becoming a Catholic as he wants to ,not because anyone has forced him into it. We have alot on our side and that is why the Tribunal opted for a Dispensation rather than an annullment. Since he was not baptised that is one reason, and second is because it was a marriage of convience which has been proved as that. Thanks you
-- Jessica Borg (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 11, 2003.
Hi All, I would like to tell you the outcome of my question. All we needed was a letter noterised by his parents saying he was never baptised in any religion, her baptism certifiate. and now we are receiving a dispensation. The Tribunal did not even have to go to Rome they can do it from here. Thank you
-- Jes (email@example.com), April 25, 2003.
Very good news, Jessica! I'm so glad you took the time to do the right thing by going through the annulment process.
-- Mark (firstname.lastname@example.org), April 25, 2003.