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I started dating my boyfriend 2 1/2 years ago, and of course, have been to (Catholic) church with him many times. During the last 4-6 months, I've realized taht I'm interested in joining the Catholic church. I find I'm going to mass by myself on Sundays (he's a police officer and can't always have that time off), or going with his family when I'm at his house. We are planning a marraige in the not too distant future, and although he would never ask me to, nor would not expect me to convert, I am interested in learning more. We are planning on having children one day, of course, and we've agreed to let the child choose their church, although of course we would attend Mass (and the Methodist service if I hadn't converted). We had even decided that the wedding would be Christian... but non-denominational. It's not a question of "will it work" - I know my boyfriend and I can make anything work that we try to. It's a question of what do y'all think --- I've waited 2 1/2 years to get this far. Should I speak with the Father? What are y'alls thoughts on all of this... I don't know where else to go for help or for advice... please let me know your thoughts. Thank you so much...

-- Melissa (f_in_va@yahoo.com), January 06, 2003

Answers

In light of this information, I would now be inclined to ask why would you feel the need to convert, if you are not going to have a Catholic Wedding?

Personally, to me, it seems you need to learn a little bit more about Catholicism than just making the leap. I am especially concerned that you would want the child to choose when you yourself found some reason to convert. If you have no reason to teach the child the same faith you have come to know, then maybe you should wait a little longer before making a committment.

Again, though, I would recommend you talk to the pastor of the parish, and see what he says, and what he feels would be the best course of action in your situation.

God Bless

-- (seminarian@ziplip.com), January 06, 2003.


Melissa:
Before any work can be done to prepare you 1.) For a Christian marriage
2.) For marrying to a faithful Catholic
3.) and raising children as Catholics-- which they SHOULD be.

One basic question. Do you love God?

We had even decided that the wedding would be Christian... but non- denominational. It's not a question of "will it work" - I know my boyfriend and I can make anything work that we try to.

Is that so? How many divorces today result after the same ''relationship'' you're talking about? You and the boyfriend need GOD to stabilize, sanctify and preserve your love and your marriage. Without God, you'l fall apart after the glow wears off. It's happened to many others stronger than you and me.

God demands your unfailing faith in Him. Bring the questions to Him. Tell your Catholic boyfriend the same thing; he has to put this in God's hands.

Not in any non-denominational church. Not after your children ''choose'' their faith.

You have the duty before God to do His divine Will. --Not MY will, Melissa. Not a priest's will, or a non-denominational minister's idea of God's Will; God's divine Will for you, your husband, and your potential children.

This is the holy avenue of salvation; not MTV, or Sex in the City. Your salvation, and his, and the children's.

I'm so glad you came here and asked:

''What are y'alls thoughts on all of this... I don't know where else to go for help or for advice... please--'' God brought us all together so you would never be in doubt again. Listen to Him now! Ciao!

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), January 06, 2003.


Please pardon what wil be a two part answer, since this site is having problems with posts longer than a few mere sentences lately! Here's my 2 cents: When you look at what you have said, it truly doesn't seem logical to me...here you have a Catholic boyfriend who seems to be willing to leave the church for his wedding, and yet attends mass every Sunday unless he is working???? The you say you are thinking about joining the Catholic church and yet do not wish to get married in it, support your boyfriend's defiance of it in a wedding outside his faith, and THEN want your future children to decide their own religion someday? WHEW!

-- lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), January 07, 2003.

Part 2:..You sound confused my young friend! Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I was a young woman too..LOL.I was raised in the Catholic church, left, became a Fundamentalist Christian, after first exploring every single denomination I had ever heard of, and then came back to the Catholic church after 30+ years. Why? Not because I was homesick, or not because the protestant folks weren't the nicest people..they were/are terrific! But there was always something missing in my life..ALWAYS...a rather huge "chunk", if you will. The truth. It's as simple and as complex as you need to make it. FIRST, do not tempt your loved one to abandon his church. If you have not found faith elsewhere, why ask him to join you in "nothingness"? Sign up for the classes in the Catholic church, marry in the church, and begin a life of truth. I hope and pray that you will not be like me and waste 30+ years looking for what is right under your nose.I wish you all happiness in a marriage blessed by, and managed by God.

-- lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), January 07, 2003.

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