Ex-spouse seeking annulment/nullity...but why?

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My ex-husband and I were married in a civil cerimony over 13yrs ago. We legally divorced about 11yrs ago. He has subsequently remarried, civilly, a Catholic. For the last few years he's been going on about getting an annullment. But, I am not a Catholic, nor he wasn't one at the time of our marriage. Does his new relationship require an annullment or just nullity? What is the difference? What effect does either have on the child we had durring our marriage? Can he force the child we had to convert to Catholisism without my concent?

I was NEVER raised within any "organized" religion, and I don't want my son forced to practice one he is not comfortable with, either.

Does an annullment effect any possible custody dispute after llyrs of my having full custody?

I know there are a lot of questions here, but I'm really confused and really looking for some solid answers. I just recieved a Questionaire from the Diocese of Arlington and don't know what to do with it. Should I fill it out and return it? Should I refuse to answer it? Should I call the Diocese and ask them what this all means to me and my son's relationship within his father's family?

I really don't know much.

Thanks so much..

-- Stacey Baker (VENRETH@aol.com), December 28, 2002

Answers

Response to Ex-spouse seeking annullment/nullity...but why?

Dear Stacey,

I am surprised that the Catholic Church is requiring an annulment proceeding for a civil contract which terminated in civil divorce. The purpose of Church annulment is to confirm that a sacramental marriage never existed. If the ceremony was a civil matter, the fact of non-sacramentality is usually taken as a given. An annulment is issued in the form of a Decree of Nullity. They are not two different entities. An annulment has no effect on your child, any more than the divorce did. The right to raise a child in a particular faith has nothing to do with annulment. It has to do with legal custody, a civil matter. If you have full custody, then presumably you have authority over that matter, though you might have to go to court to enforce it. Really though, being raised in the faith is a tremendous gift, the most important gift any parent can give a child. It is a gift that you and your ex-husband were denied, and you should seriously consider allowing your son to receive that gift. Of course, at his age, he may have his own ideas about that, and faith cannot be forced upon a person. But at least he should not be denied the opportunity. An annulment should not affect custody, since it is a Church matter, not recognized by the state, just as divorce is a civil matter, not recognized by the Church. continued .....

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), December 28, 2002.


Response to Ex-spouse seeking annullment/nullity...but why?

You of course are not required to fill out the diocesan form. Doing so will facilitate your ex-husband's entry into the Catholic Church, and his having his new marriage blessed by the Church. Refusing to fill out the form however will not prevent these things from happening. An annulment can be obtained if the circumstances warrant it, whether the spouse cooperates or not. Cooperation does smooth the process though. And finally, yes, by all means contact the diocesan office of Family Affairs, or Family Life, or Marital Affairs, or whatever they call it in your diocese, and ask your questions. They should be in the phone book under Diocese of Arlington. They should be able to provide the information you need, either over the phone, or by setting up an appointment with you.

Peace! Paul

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), December 28, 2002.


Response to Ex-spouse seeking annullment/nullity...but why?

Hello, Paul (and Stacey)

Paul, I agree with all the advice and most of the information you have given to Stacey. However, your opening sentences contained a couple of mistakes, so I thought I should speak up about them.

You wrote (and I'll number the sentences): "(1) I am surprised that the Catholic Church [Diocese of Arlington] is requiring an annulment proceeding for a civil contract which terminated in civil divorce. (2) The purpose of Church annulment is to confirm that a sacramental marriage never existed. (3) If the ceremony was a civil matter, the fact of non-sacramentality is usually taken as a given."

For #1: Actually, the Arlington Diocese is required to do what it is doing -- contacting Stacey. If your diocese would not do this, Paul, it would be very seriously in the wrong.

For #2: No, this is not the purpose of a Catholic Church nullity case. Rather, it is to determine whether a valid marriage exists -- whether sacramental or natural (non-sacramental.

For #3: No, the fact that there was a civil ceremony is far from being a guarantee that the marriage was non-sacramental -- and, as already stated, non-sacramentality does not cause invalidity anyway.

[to be continued]

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 29, 2002.


Response to Ex-spouse seeking annullment/nullity...but why?

[continued from above]

Let me add a few supplementary notes:
The Catholic Church presumes a "civil marriage" (before a Justice of the Peace, etc.) to be valid if it occurred between two unmarried non-Catholic people. And that is why the nullity process must be followed in Stacey's case.

The "two unmarried NON-Catholics" could be Hindu, Jewish, Moslem, Protestant, atheist, etc. (or some mixture of religions). Any two such people are capable of giving valid consent to marry, even in a non-religious ceremony.

Only two baptized persons giving consent can enter into a sacramental marriage. Stacey didn't say if she and her husband had ever been baptized. She only said that she had not been "raised" in an organized religion. But the key thing in nullity processes is whether or not there was valid consent to wed, not whether there was a sacrament.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 29, 2002.


Response to Ex-spouse seeking annullment/nullity...but why?

I have a question, so can you please field it for me? About 15 years ago my ex-wife got an annulment. When I questioned the priest as to how many of these he is responsible for a year he stated about 300 and a rather lengthy waiting list. I guess the statistics on this activity would be difficult to obtain. Do you have any information on the volume of such benign activities?

Thank you in advance. Dean Anthony I am a staunch atheist so treat me no different then you would the Pope : )

-- Dean Anthony (Deananthony882@hotmail.com), April 07, 2003.



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