marrying a Catholicgreenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread
I am a noncatholic in love with a catholic. I am not considering conversion. We have discussed marriage, and church attendance. Our relationship is pure and we have kept the commandments concering premarital sex and temptation. I am concerned with him. He is willing to convert to nondenominational christian. What will be the difficulty for him if he converts, and why?
-- rose watkins (email@example.com), December 27, 2002
What will be the difficulty for him if he converts, and why?
His eternal salvation will become infinitely more difficult if he chooses to leave the Holy Roman Catholic Church.
-- jake (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 27, 2002.
Why does he want to change his faith? As far as I know, I see no reason why he has to give up his faith in order to marry you, but the whole question you ask seems a bit strange, as I get the impression he does not take his Catholic faith seriously at all. In other words, is he giving up anything, when he does not have any faith to begin with? If he had faith, he would not want to give it up.
-- Gordon (email@example.com), December 27, 2002.
You say he is "willing" to convert from the Church Jesus founded for all mankind, to a church of recent origin based on traditions of men. Does that mean someone is asking him to do so? Pressuring him to do so? The very first step in any marriage of mixed faiths, if that marriage is to have any chance of enduring, is mutual respect for each other's beliefs. That isn't the same as acceptance of each other's beliefs. If you accepted each other's beliefs, obviously there would be no reason to be in separate churches. But you have to be very careful to avoid using your love or the prospect of marriage as a means of coercion, to try to force the other to go through the motions of conversion, in order to make yourself feel better. True conversion is something that happens within. You cannot simply "decide" to convert. If he were to go through the motions of joining your church without a true inner conversion to your beliefs, the whole thing would be dishonest and insincere, a mere charade - not a good way to begin a Christian marriage. A good marriage of mixed faiths also entails a mutual interest in the beliefs of the other, and a sincere effort to understand them. You sound closed to that idea, which can be a real barrier to the success of your intended marriage.
In Christ, Paul
-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), December 27, 2002.
Much more difficult -- but not "infinitely more difficult."
The word "infinite" implies impossibility (or nearly so).
What's that e-mail address mean, Miss Watkins? Do you call yourself "reverend"?
-- (Stay@Catholic.Sir), December 28, 2002.
I am a Catholic in love with a Lutheran man, and heading for the altar. He, at one time, felt that my faith was more grounded and important than his, and thought we should follow one faith as a family. I gave him a copy of the Catholic catechism, and a primer on the Mass...needless, since he always attends Mass with me. Now that he has had time to study the catechism, he feels like he is not able to convert. And I have never asked him to do so. The wonderful thing is that he does not have to become a Catholic for us to marry. The only consideration for a Protestant wishing to wed a Catholic, is that they agree that any children born from their union be raised as Catholic.
Daniel and I have even agreed on attending both Catholic Mass and Lutheran services on Sundays once we are married. And how can you have too much "churchin'"? As long as you both respect each other's faith, you should be fine.
-- Melissa Wilson (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 29, 2002.