Okay not to bore anyone, But my fiance is catholic and I was baptized as a methodist when I was a child but no longer have been involed with the church since I was 7 or 8.Anyways I was married had two children at a young age and Now I am divorced.I found my bestfriend and life long soulmate.He hasn't really been practicing the catholic faith for awhile now.But we wish to be married in the church he went to.Do I have to convert and do the annulment/nullity both? I must say that my previous marriage was pressured on to me and that it was abusive. He let drugs,women,bulgary take over his life and left us.He is now in prison until 2005 for shaking his mistress's baby and bulgary.Any answers or advice will help.Thanks in advance.

-- misty howell (pollockspraygun@aol.com), November 07, 2002

Answers

It's good to hear you are seeking to get married in the Catholic Church. You and your fiancé will need to set up an appointment to speak with a priest on this matter, but I can give you my guess of what will need to happen.

You will need to go through the process to determine if your first marriage was truly invalid (i.e. a true sacramental marriage never took place). The bad conduct of your husband after the vows probably won't be all that relevant, but being "pressured" would be. But the goal for you here is to be as honest as possible. Sure, someone could coach you on saying the right things to increase the likelihood of your first marriage being declared annulled, but this would be "lying to God."

You won't have to convert to Catholicism, but I would really recommend you consider this. You'll find the Catholic faith a great source of joy and strength in both living out your marriage and your life in general. What you will need to commit to though will be to raise any children that may result from the marriage as Catholic.

But set an appoint ASAP with a priest in the parish where you plan to marry, and he'll explain everything to you in more detail. But remember, it may appear that the Catholic Church is putting unnecessary obstacles in your path, but it is actually assisting you with love and wisdom to increase the good of yourself, your fiancé and any future children.

I wish you the best and I'll add you and your situation to my prayers!

God Bless!

-- Hollis (catholic@martinsen.com), November 07, 2002.

Jmj

Hello, Hollis. You told Misty (a lapsed Methodist), "You won't have to convert to Catholicism ... What you will need to commit to though will be to raise any children that may result from the marriage as Catholic."

This was true prior to 1983. However, in that year, the new Code of Canon Law (for the Western/Latin Church) was promulgated, and the "commitment" you mentioned was removed.
Now, the Catholic spouse must promise to do all in his/her power to raise the child(ren) as Catholic(s). The non-Catholic spouse need only be informed of the Catholic spouse's promise.
The Church encourages, but does not require, that the couple in a mixed marriage make a joint commitment before the wedding.
If the non-Catholic makes a flat refusal during the engagement, the Catholic bishop can take that into consideration in deciding whether or not to give the Catholic permission to enter into a mixed marriage.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), November 09, 2002.

Just to clarify my words ("The Church encourages, but does not require, that the couple in a mixed marriage make a joint commitment before the wedding.") ...
I was referring to the spouses coming to an agreement, before the wedding, as to the religion in which their children will be raised.

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), November 09, 2002.

John,

I don't remember your explanation being taught while I was in the seminary in the early 90's, but....

1) The text was in Latin, the professor was from Spain, he taught in Italian, and I spoke English. So I guess there was something I could have missed.

2) It's been about 10 years since I had the course and the early symptoms of old-timers disease have been observed now that I turned 40.

;-)

-- Hollis (catholic@martinsen.com), November 09, 2002.

Hi, Hollis.
Would you like me to find and quote [in English] the passages from the 1983 Code and the 1993 Ecumenical Directory that are the basis of my statements?
I don't mind doing that, if you'd like.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), November 10, 2002.

Thanks for all the input and help to understand all of this,I still am not real sure if I do.Anyways We go to meet with the Father tonight for our first meeting to start the annullment.Any advice or input on what to expect to do when We get there as far as paper work, how much, etc. Thanks

-- Misty Howell (POLLOCKSPRAYGUN@AOL.COM), November 12, 2002.