hand-holding a mortal sin?

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I have heard that prolonged hand-holding is a mortal sin from a Catholic retreat. I know that fornication is definitely a mortal sin against the 6th commandment but I never thought that hand-holding would even be considered a sin. Is it really true that hand-holding, kissing, and hugging are sins if you're not married? And if so, are they mortal sins? (By the way, I'm referring to boyfriend-girlfriend relationships here when I say all this.)

-- anonymous (l4dy_CHN@yahoo.com), November 03, 2002

Answers

No, those are certainly not sins. Showing affection to your boyfriend/girlfriend is a very important part and healthy aspect of any such relationship. It helps emotions to grow, which helps strengthen the relationship.

French kissing, that arouses your passions, should be avoided, as it may lead to impure thoughts or "petting", and those are sins.

That's one very strange Catholic retreat that you went to!

-- Gordon (gvink@yahoo.com), November 03, 2002.


"I have heard that prolonged hand-holding is a mortal sin"

Only if you are standing next to me during the Our Father at Mass. =)

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.neT), November 03, 2002.


Emerald,

I truly did laugh at loud at your comment. Thanks.

-- Glenn (glenn@nospam.com), November 04, 2002.


Dear anonymous,

Please, anonymous, for your own sake, stay away from hand-holding. Sure it may seem innocent, but it is a danger to all relationships you hold dear, including God's.

Hand-holding has been painted by the media and popular culture (i.e. Disney) as a manifestation of the harmless sort of love, like "puppy love". But it is a gateway act that leads to even more shameful sins in the eyes of the Lord.

I know this from personal experience, which I am almost too shameful to confess. In my wild youth, I believed myself to be "in love" with a girl, who I regurly sat next to on the bus. She seemed to show the same affection to me. One time she visited me at home and we sat next to each other on my bed. I was home alone with her. She reached for my hand, and I didn't pull away. I ignored my good reason and conscience, and I held her hand. My mind was filled with the most obscene thoughts as a result. Because I was holding her hand, I couldn't resist what happened next. The obscene thoughts became a reality: we kissed. When I realized what I had just done, I ran out into the backyard overwhelmed with guilt. After an hour with my face in my hands, she was gone. From then on, we sat on opposite ends of the bus, too afraid and remorseful to see each other again.

Save hand-holding for marriage, and when you are married, keep it hidden in the bedroom. Remember, hand-holding is a beautiful thing, but only within the sacred bounds of marriage between a man and a woman. I have devoted my life to warning people about shameful acts such as hand-holding before marriage, so I can repay my debt to God for my one shameful disgrace.

Yours in the true love of Christ

-- Jesusmyking (christ4everamen@yahoo.com), December 04, 2002.


LOL "Jesus my King" somehow I dont think even the good Mr Butler would express such views and hes about as conservative as weve got on this issue. Were not that bad mate, youlll have to be a bit more subtle that that!

-- Kiwi (csisherwood@hotmail.com), December 04, 2002.


My own hand-holding addiction was out of control when I just broke down and turned the whole situation over to Jesus. After three days of prayer and fasting, I felt strongly convicted that holding hands was not God's will for me in relationships. I felt that once I disobeyed God and went that far, I was only one step away from gratuitous sin such as kissing on the lips. I didn't want to think about how guilty I would feel if I disobeyed God like that, and I know he wants me to "flee temptation" when anything causes me to think about sin. I know God wants me to save kissing for marriage and I'm hoping that on my wedding day I can give my virgin lips to my future husband as a special gift just for him. I don't even know who he is yet but I will wait patiently and be faithful to him until God brings him into my life. And I know my wedding night will be so special when we go "all the way" and kiss with our mouths open. I know if I gave in to temptation now I would feel cheap and dirty for the rest of my life. I thank God that he has given me the strengh to resist the "ways of the world" and keep my lips pure and holy in his sight.

And I'd just like to say to Jesusmyking that even tho you've sinned and disappointed God by giving into temptation, you can pray and ask Him to cleanse you with his power and wipe away your shameful past. You'll never be quite as pure as someone like me, but you can still be a "secondary virgin" and God will probably eventually forgive you. So don't be discouraged, ok?

In Christ Christine A. Lovejoy christinlove@aol.com

-- Christine (purewhite@godnet.com), December 04, 2002.


Why is it that anything which is a sin outside of marraige, is not a sin within marraige?

-- Noone (Noname@nowhere.com), December 04, 2002.

Because everything that is not a sin within marriage is a sin outside of marriage.

For instance, doing the dishes.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), December 04, 2002.


Hand holding before marriage is a sin, and hand holding afte marriage is for survival. Just kidding. God bless

-- ed Richards (loztra@yahoo.com), December 05, 2002.

mirror,mirror on the wall,who of you is the most holy of ya all

please,don't lie,everyone has done things they are forbidden by 'there' law

-- aaron (no.mail@sorry.com), December 07, 2002.



How can hand holding be a mortal sin? How about denying many veterans any decent semblance of a wife and family life in spite of Gods Command to provide us(his men of war)Women of virtue and a fair share of the posterity that our risk of life and limb provides for our homeland?

-- L.C.Starling (LubyStarling@hotmail.com), April 14, 2003.

Get real!!!

Holding hands a mortal sin?

Stand back, there's a guy behind me that started turning over tables.

God Bless

-- john placette (jplacette@catholic.org), April 14, 2003.


Please forget I said that. I got silly for a moment. God Bless,

-- john placette (jplacette@catholic.org), April 14, 2003.

Look... I think hand holding is as much a mortal sin as ANY physical contact... and to that person who wrote the huge thing on "it's a sin" listen... I think someone is scared of something... Now It says nowhere in the bible physical contact is a sin... or anywhere in Jesus's teachings. to answer your questions, I am a devout catholic go to mass every Sunday. But what some of you people are saying go to far. Danke, Thank you, Gracias, and God Bless

-- dude (Lufoxe@yahoo.com), April 15, 2003.

Correction... bit of a typo... physical contact is NOT a sin Danke

-- dude (Lufoxe@yahoo.com), April 15, 2003.


I think that the most important think for every person striving to be like our risen Lord is to know our limit. None of the people that wrote on this message board is wrong. Each person was just expressing the limit that they feel is upon their life from God. For me, I feel physical contact is alright...as long as it doesn't cause you to sin. If you begin to think impurely, or to need more, then I think you need to take a step back. So yea. Just know your limit and don't cross it. The only way to know that is to fast and pray for God to show you His will for your life. Then you can stay on the path He has laid out for you. May God continue to bless you in everyting you do Jesusfreak

-- Jesusfreak (Lita4619@hotmail.com), May 16, 2003.

no way, hand holding is the worst mortal sin...

heres why: you hold hands with someone, and a veteran of a war who has no hands sees you. he wishes he could hold hands with his wife and so he gets jealous(envy:deadly sin).

so you see, not only are you committing a dirty act, youre also contributing to another breaking one of the seven DEADLY sins.

Its just like it being a sin to blow your nose in front of a noseless person.

(lol, see, i do have a sense of humor)

-- paul (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), May 16, 2003.


Now I know where the Beatles went wrong.

Too much hand holding?

Karl

-- Karl (Parkerkajwen@hotmail.com), May 17, 2003.


All right, we're obviously all from different parts on the spectrum of beliefs and morals, and i've yet to hear from someone with my views. No, hand holding is not a sin, but yes, it can lead to other things. Holding hands is not gonna send you to hell, but cna you honostly admit to yourself that while you're holding hands with a girl at church during a service, you're honostly listening to what the preacher has to say? Some can say yes, and some can say no, and i think that's where you have to draw the line. Constant hand holding will lose is specialty. It will become routine. Once it does, the couple usually (and i emphasize usually) feel the need to step it up to the next level, which would be hugging and kissing and sniggling, and so on and so forth. If you can hold a girls hand and have the right mind set, and honostly say that doing that does not hinder your walk with God in any way, then i think you're all right. But if you say you can hold hands and still keep the right mindset and remain focused on God and let nothing come before Him, then i'd have to give you a hand, b/c as of yet, i havent found anyone that has.

-- Riebs (nope@uh uh. no), July 18, 2003.

Well, I've been holding the same girl's hand for forty years, just about everywhere we go, and so far we remain focused on God. I must admit we have done our share of hugging and kissing and sniggling, and so on and so forth, though. :-)

-- Paul (PaulCyp@cox.net), July 18, 2003.

so come on,Paul, let us in on the secret, have you been married 40 years? Theresa

-- Theresa Huether (Rodntee4Jesus@aol.com), July 19, 2003.

HAND HOLDING IS A SIN, WHETHER IT IS PRACTICED BY A UNMARRIED OR MARRIED. The Sixth Commandment, "You shall not commit adultery"

Adultery—Adultery is marital infidelity. A married person who has sexual relations with anyone but their lawful spouse, even transient sexual relations, commits adultery (CCC 2380). Divorce—The grave sin of divorce condemns those who divorce and remarry (Matthew 5:32) and those who divorce in the civil sense (except by grave dispensation). Hence divorce between two baptized Christians is a mortal sin (CCC 2384). Fornication—Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman and is a grave sin (CCC 2353). St. Paul condemns fornication in his epistle 1 Corinthians 6:18. All aspects of intimate contact associated with the marriage act also constitute fornication for Jesus said, "I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 9:28). If lustful looks are adulterous, how much worse is lustful physical contact? Pornography—Pornography is the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party. Because it removes the marriage act from within the sacramental sanctity of marriage, and perverts sex, it is gravely contrary to charity (CCC 2354). The display of pornography to children and other parties is especially gravely sinful because it is gravely scandalous. Prostitution—Prostitution reduces a person to an instrument of sexual pleasure and lust. It is gravely contrary to charity and chastity and defiles the body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. However, destitution, blackmail or social pressure can reduce the gravity of the sin. Still, prostitution is always a sin (CCC 2355). Rape—A person who commits rape violates the respect, freedom, physical and moral integrity of the victim. It is a brutal crime of violence that can physically and psychologically scar a person for life. It is thus a grave sin (CCC 2356). Homosexual acts—Although it remains to be determined if homosexuality is a genetic, social or personal stigma, homosexual acts are condemned by God and can NEVER be approved by the Church (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Genesis 19:1-29, Romans 1:24-27 and CCC 2357). If homosexuals are born with the condition, then they are called to live a life of Christian purity and chastity for the greater love of Christ. Such people can experience a life of trial, which all others must treat with compassion and sensitivity. Incest—"Incest is intimate relations between relatives or in-laws within a degree that prohibits marriage between them" (CCC 2388). St. Paul condemns incest in his letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 5:1,4-5). Masturbation—"Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of the sexual organs in order to derive sexual pleasure" (CCC 2352). The Church teaches that sex has two main purposes that must be sought in the marriage act: sex is for reproduction of children within a valid marriage, and it is a loving, unifying act between husband and wife. Masturbation violates both aspects of the natural law and is thus a grave sin.

http://www.saintaquinas.com/mortal_sin.html

-- vijay (justman_india@hotmail.com), January 17, 2004.


yeah, what a nice topic.i agree with all of you. sin comes from heart not fromthe hand. but still hand holding with boy or girlfriend might at some time lead your heart to think of doing more serious sin.why take risk.when you already know its not too safe for your soul.god bless

-- vennela (vennela_anamica@yahoo.com), June 20, 2004.

vennela,

holding hands is "not too safe for your soul"? I THINK NOT. its a sin which will KILL your soul. read my post above.

(winks, at the huge joke this thread became... almost forgot about it since the last time someone posted here)

-- paul h (dontsendmemail@notanaddress.com), June 20, 2004.


"hand holding with boy or girlfriend might at some time lead your heart to think of doing more serious sin"

A: Well, that's true. But it could just as well be argued that walking around with your eyes open "might at some time lead your heart to think of doing more serious sin". Temptation can come from many sources, and if you have found a particular action or place, or the companionship of certain people to be a serious source of temptation for yourself, then you should avoid that action or that place or those companions. But for the great majority of people, holding hands is an innocent gesture of friendship or affection, and is not a serious source of temptation to sin. Therefore for the great majority of people there is no reason to avoid it.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), June 20, 2004.


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