I have just started RCIA classes. Last Monday we were talking about the afterlife. I asked the priest "How can you stay out of Hell?" He said that people themselves chose it ... not to be close to others. That answer really shocked me. I cried all the way home and half the night. Throughout my life I have drawn further and further away from people because of how unusually mean they have shown to be. I feel like I have already chosen Hell and that is where I will be forever, because I am honestly happier alone. How I need help.

-- Janice Ginther (janice_ginther@pomona.edu), October 30, 2002

Answers

Janice, with all due respect, I don't think your priest really explained the doctrine of Hell very clearly. Maybe you should make an appointment with him, or with another priest that you trust, and tell him your concerns. It's not just as simple as "not being close to others". Check out the lives of the Saints - there's nothing wrong with preferring to be alone, as long as it's for the right reasons.

Love, :-)

-- Christine L. (chris_tinelehman@hotmail.com), October 30, 2002.

Dear Janice:
I just surfed into BBC-h2g2-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.com; a sometimes funny website of varied useless boards and chats. I clicked on one link, hell.

It was depressing to see the flippant and silly way some folks regard any notion of hell.

Very obviously, hell is a myth to these people; a subject for amusing others with, when you want to seem urbane and witty in their eyes. It leads (in that site) to jokes about the Pope, and calling our own earth ''hell'', or your 2 year-old baby crying at night. A lot of jive.

I'm afraid the priest who's teaching you in the RCIA class is one of those characters himself. Too blase to treat the subject seriously, and too unsure of himself to deny hell is for real. If he thinks people choose it for themselves, he's wrong. They choose to keep sinning; and fail to repent. And one day, they just fall into hell. Being close to other souls, or not close, isn't an ocassion for sin. Sin is a voluntary rejection of God's commandments; mainly injustice to your neighbor, failure in charity and understanding for others. Being alone isn't a fault. You might be happier alone, but there's no reason you can't be closer to God by yourself. Many great saints were hermits, Janice. Look at the silent and contemplative religious. Trappists, Carthusians, etc., They aren't drawn to solitude for hatred of their neighbor. They offer their love to God in solitude.

Just try to realise you ought not retreat from people in reaction to their unworthiness. You can choose to be away from the cruel ones, but not for hatred or because you despise them. Pray for them and trust in God's mercy. He'll convert them, perhaps, if you sincerely pray on their behalf.

Have faith; and learn the best you can in RCIA. Your instructors may not realise how sensitive you are, so do not take every word they say that seriously. You are there to learn about God, the Church, and the salvation of souls. Not pop psychology, or political correctness. You must learn to see the bright side, and ignore what's irrelevant.

As for hell, instead of asking questions in that environment, find a book, or see it on a Catholic information website; and you'll understand the meaning of hell as you study religion. Hell is real. We aren't speculating; Our Lord Jesus Christ said it is real. But we won't know its true nature ever at all. Unless we are sent there in the end; God forbid. Pray and have faith!

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), October 30, 2002.

Hi Janice, that answer really "takes the cake." Are you sure he didn't mean to say, "People choose to stay away from God?" That would make more sense. Many people in this life want no part of God, and that's why they go to hell. Not because they like to be alone! In other words, if a person wants no part of God now, in this life, why would God force Himself on them in the afterlife, dragging them into His presence kicking and screaming?

Catechism has a good section on hell.

Hope that helps!

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 30, 2002.

Oh Janice, I just reread your post. I'm sure your Priest meant that people want to be alone WITHOUT GOD! Please get this cleared up right away! Call him, and ask him to clarify himself.

Love to you,

Gail

-- Gail (rothfarms@socket.net), October 30, 2002.

Don't worry, it doesn't sound like you want to go to hell. On the EWTN website there is a better explanation of what the Pope John Paul II commented concerning hell. But briefly, the choosing of hell comes at the time we see God face to face. When faced with the reality of God's complete Truth and Love we will know if we want to love and be with him or whether we have so much hate, pride and envy that we cannot bear to be with him. There is also an explanation of purgatory. You sound like you are seeking God and are sincere, so please don't worry. Trust in God.

-- Ken Dirksen (kdirkse@sbcglobal.net), October 30, 2002.

Yup, God desires all men to be saved. Be rest assured if you have a heart for Him, He will not fail you.

-- Oliver Fischer (spicenut@excite.com), October 31, 2002.

Dear Janice,

You will not go to hell because you like to be alone and, as the others here have said, I hope you go to that priest and ask him to clarify what he meant by his statement. Perhaps you misunderstood him.

Janice, Jesus says, "Two or more gathered in my name and there I am among them." I hope you find a friend whose company you can enjoy, one you can pray with, laugh with, share with. I pray that one or two people will come into your path who see what a caring, sensitive, person you are.

Some people love being alone, but it is nice to have someone to share with and laugh with - someone who will lift your spirits. Obviously you have been hurt by others, but don't let that stop you from reaching out. Not all people are bad and mean-spirited. I am sure you will find from very nice people in the church, people you may want to befriend and share your faith with.

And, remember, when you have Jesus as a friend, you are never alone. He is always with you.

Love, MaryLu

-- MaryLu (mlc327@juno.com), October 31, 2002.

Thanks Ken for drawing our attention to the comments made by the Holy Father concerning Hell. For those who are interested they can be found here: http://www.ewtn.com/faith/teachings/teachframes.htm They clear up a lot of misconceptions we may have about Hell and eternal damnation and what Jesus wants for us in our lives.

For many years I struggled in much the same way Janice has, about where I might finally end up for eternity. I had a fear that while loving God, I might inadvertently offend Him through my own humanness in a way that might be irreconcilable. In the past, my concerns always heightened when I heard or read comments such as the ones that Janice’s priest blurted out to her without proper explanation. To paraphrase, if I understand Janice correctly he said, “While I still love God, if I don’t do this... then I am doomed!”

While the Church promotes positive teaching on how to obtain eternal happiness I find all too often, too many teachers of the Faith resort to the easier, more dramatic, faster and negative method of instruction in frightening the listener into staying away from eternal damnation by concentrating on avoiding the ever-near occasions of sin rather than by practising what Jesus taught us to do - and that is to love.

The Church teaches, as Jesus taught, that salvation rests on one very important element: love - love of God and love of neighbour. The Ten Commandments, our Church and in fact our entire faith revolves around God’s wishes that we love Him, and that we love one another. That’s it in a nutshell! Period! God is love and to be one with God requires us to become love, as well.

In order for one to be eternally damned, Pope John Paul II and the Church has taught over and over again that one must “definitively reject the Father's mercy, even at the last moment of their life.” I haven’t met many people who, given the fullness of truth, especially at the hour of death, would reject the Creator and choose eternal damnation. One would have to be filled with the ultimate sin of pride in order to do that. There are not many individuals who would as Pope John Paul says, “reject his [God’s] love and forgiveness once and for all, thus separating himself forever from joyful communion with him.”

I’ve heard that Our Lady is reported to have told the children at Medjugorje that while very few people go to Heaven immediately after death, very few people are condemned to eternal damnation; and while not knowing if this statement is accurate or not, I can fully appreciate it. It makes sense to me.

In order to be condemned to eternal damnation the Church teaches that you have to die in a state of serious mortal sin. We are taught that mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate consent. If we look at this criteria objectively, then for most of us, it seems unlikely all of these conditions would be met if we followed Our Lord’s command to love both Him and others. The bottom line is, we have a loving God! He wants us to share in that love. He recognizes that while we are made in His image and likeness, we remain “works in progress” and, are to strive as best we can to imitate His virtues in our daily lives. Loving someone doesn’t always mean being with them. Love is simply desiring the highest and best for the sake of the beloved.It can involve compassion and charity among many other virtues.

I fear that at times we take our faith too literally. This could be one reason Jesus never wrote anything down. We live our daily lives in fear because we have interpreted certain words in a doctrine, encyclical or teaching incorrectly and, in ways in which Jesus never intended. Jesus never intended for us to live out our lives in fear of Him or of what He might do to us if we fail to meet His expectations. To believe this is to miss the meaning of the crucifixion and to fail to appreciate the absolute and total love Jesus has in His heart for each of us.

So, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up and write ourselves off to eternal damnation just yet. The good news is we have a kind and loving, merciful Saviour. It doesn’t get any better than that. We are indeed in good hands. Rest assured if you love Jesus, and follow His law to the best of your ability while stumbling occasionally in your own human folly, no serious harm can ever come to you. Jesus promised as much.

The Lord is compassion and love; slow to anger and rich in mercy! Thank you Jesus! All glory and praise be to Jesus Christ! Now and forever!

-- Ed (Lauzon) (grader@accglobal.net), October 31, 2002.

It is Halloween. A ghost!

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), October 31, 2002.

I read an the post by Mr. Lauzon who said that as long as we are following Jesus to the best of our abilities and have love that no harm can come to us. I wanted to point out that the only protection from eternal harm is the perfect blood of Jesus that was shed to save us from our sins. God is both loving and just. He cannot allow any sin into heaven, but He also loves us and doesn't want us to go to hell. Since the payment for even one sin is eternity in hell, God sent His perfect sinless Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). It is a terribly common misconception that just because you do good things for people and go to church and have better morals than the average person that you will go to heaven. This seems to be one of Satan's favorite ways to get millions of people into hell. The only standard that matters is perfection because God is perfect. Therefore no one above the age of accountability can earn their way to heaven. Jesus said "I am the Way the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the father but by Me" (John 14:6). It doesn't matter if a person thinks "surely God wouldn't send me to hell. I've never stolen anything. I haven't killed anyone" No matter what we think the only thing that matters is what God thinks, and the Bible specifically says, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I remember Bill O'Rielly from Fox News commenting that this view of salvation was exclusive. I would love to know, what could possibly be exclusive about a free gift? One that Hitler could have obtained if he had really meant it and repented. If anyone disagrees with the fact that you can't earn salvation, I would love to know the reason. One reason for disagreement is that perhaps God was too dumb to think of another way to be saved besides Jesus' death on the cross. Another reason is that God is simply cruel and sent Jesus there when it wasn't necessary. Perhaps anyone who disagrees prefers to throw out Bible verses that don't "feel good." Again, what could possibly be exclusive about a free gift?

-- Julia (Eowyn12151983@aol.com), December 16, 2003.

Dear Julia,

Thank-you for restating that 2,000 year old Catholic teaching so concisely. No-one disagrees. It is a terribly common misconception that Catholics believe that just because you do good things for people and go to church and have better morals than the average person that you will go to heaven. But thanks for trying.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), December 16, 2003.