marrying a divorced Methodistgreenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread
in Jan of 2002 I went to my parish priest and asked him to marry myseld and my fiance in feb of 2003, who is a divorced methodist. he said that would not be a problem and sent us to pre-cana class. i than went back to his office after the classes and he told us to come back in sept or oct. he knew all of the long that my fiance was a divorced methodist. now oct, four months to our wedding, the priest decides to tell us that my fiance needs an anullment and it would take over a year to be granted. in the meantime we have everything planned and payed for for the wedding, what can we do? i am so upset that i can't eat or sleep! what are we going to do? i have to say that this really shakes my faith in the catholic priesthood!
-- Margaret Bartholde (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 04, 2002
I truly feel a great sympathy for you. What happened to you should not happen to anyone. Your parish priest made several blunders. My opinion is this:
(1) If you have incurred a financial loss (e.g., deposits) because of the need to cancel reservations, you should ask that your priest reimburse you.
(2) If he will not do so (adding insult to injury), then you should withhold your Sunday contributions until the loss is made up.
However, I think [don't you?] that what happened was a accidental human error, not something done on purpose. Your priest must have been poorly trained -- or forgot what he was taught in the seminary. I would bet a bundle that at least 95% of all parish priests would have done the right thing immediately -- back in January:
(1) They would immediately have begun to work with your friend [he's not yet your "fiance"] on seeking a Declaration of Nullity.
(2) They would have told you to wait for the tribunal's decision, and only then, if it declared "nullity," should you have begun Pre-Cana classes and set a wedding date.
So I would encourage you not to let your "faith in the Catholic priesthood" be shakened! The priesthood is from God and cannot be something bad. It is only individual priests who make mistakes or commit sins -- not "the Catholic priesthoood."
God bless you.
-- J. F. Gecik (email@example.com), October 05, 2002.
I would suggest that you talk to your Archbishop of your dioceses, tell him your situation and I believe he will help you out. Yes, your fiance' will have to get an annullment,but since all arrangements have been made a money invested, I believe that some kind of dispensation can be arranged. It would be worth looking into.
I wish you Gods speed and Good Luck!
-- C.Porter (Luckyladydance@hotmail.com), October 06, 2002.
No, C. Porter. A dispensation is impossible.
You have not thought this through. One does not "get an annulment." Rather, a tribunal considers the facts and issues a Declaration of Nullity -- OR ... it does not issue one.
The fact is that Margaret's friend may still be married (in God's eyes), and it is impossible for a valid, ratified Christian marriage to end except through the death of a spouse. A bishop must allow the tribunal to do its work. If he were to try to bypass the tribunal and allow Margaret to "marry" her friend, he may be giving them a license to practice adultery. And so he will not do it.
God bless you.
-- (firstname.lastname@example.org), October 06, 2002.