There have been some pretty funny quotes on this thread. I don't want to spark any bad feelings or hatred (so I will leave out names). But for the sake of a smile:

"I have to deny the "real presence" of a functioning brain in ---'s cranium."

John G.

I think it was John G. who also responded to a thread (do Catholics have a softspot... or something).

"...I think you have a soft spot in your cranium..."

Thank you John for your continuously intelligen, while quick whitted, posts! I love to read your stuff.

On the eleventh commandment:

Emerald writes, "Only eleven? Geez, I thought it was fifteen, and that on the way down the mountain Moses fell down and shattered one of the tablets and just never mentioned the whole ordeal to anyone. hmmmmm.... lol."

Long form or short form (anullment thread):

"1040 or 1040A? Let the gent do what his pastor advises."

-- (exas@per.ated)

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake.huether@lamrc.com), August 26, 2002

Answers

bump

-- Jake Huether (jake.huether@lamrc.com), August 26, 2002.

Thanks, Jake. I just hope that I don't get carried away and overdo it too often.
Be on the look-out for cute lines from "Frank Someone" in past threads. He doesn't post messages very often.
JFG
PS: I was "exas@per.ated".

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), August 26, 2002.

New today ...

[From "dogma777", an anti-Catholic:] "Unless Catholics change their ways of prayer, practice and the way they conduct themselves, they will surely BURN!"

[From Emerald:] "You mean, don't get too close to the candles while praying, right?"

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), August 26, 2002.

Nice threads, Jake. Problem is, some of the best ones I have seen, I can't find because they are buried in a sea of threads and posts.

The one that made me laugh the hardest was the one where someone was telling some kind of wimpy, whining story and Mateo compared it to the Barry Manilow song Copa Cabana.

Poor Barry Manilow. The subject of so much humor, as everybody nose. Uh, knows.

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), August 26, 2002.

New ones.

Frank: Are you sure that's what he was doing? Since he was also quoting the New Testament I thought he was trying to thank the Catholic Church for deciding what books were truly inspired and also to thank Catholic monks for hand-copying it for over a thousand years, thus making it available to him today. You're welcome, …:

John:

“Please be aware of the fact that there is no such thing as "cannon law" (except perhaps in the military?). But let me say this about Canon Law ...”

Thanks guys.

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), November 18, 2002.

My rascally cousin Ray, when we were altar boys in the early 50's--

--One day reached in a coat pocket and offered me a white wafer; a communion wafer. He popped one of them in his mouth. I was shocked! He said; ''I swiped a few out of the jar where Father stores them. They aren't consecrated; *crunch.*--'' Oh, he was a Bad Boy -- May God have him by the ear; he passed away from cancer about ten years ago.

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), November 18, 2002.

This is something that I consider funny, that was said a day or two ago by a Protestant poster;

"Here's my conclusion. As honered as Mary is for having yielding to God's will, she is NOT unique in that choice".

And we wonder why it over 30000 different Protestant denomations. :P

-- . (.@......), November 18, 2002.

Thanks, Jake H. (It's fun to have one's efforts recognized, even when being a bit silly.)
That quotation reminded me of a case when someone mentioned a saint's have been "cannonized." (Must have been a painful martyrdom.)
JFG

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), November 21, 2002.

On one of the other BBoards on Greenspun someone said Australia used to be a "penile colony" of England's. Ha ha ah ha!

Ha

Ha

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.cam), November 21, 2002.

"Her own body was exhumed years after her death, and found incorrupt and giving off a delicate perfume." - eugene c. chavez comments regarding St. Anne Catherine Emmerich.

Sure am glad it was Her OWN body and not someone elses....hha hhaa Glad it was years after her death rather than b-4:)

Peace

-- Choas (Choas@ivillage.com), November 25, 2002.

"What do you mean, "RC officials" -- administrators of the Royal Crown Bottling Company?" (JFG)

-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), November 25, 2002.

Ho!

I say her own because I referred to her following a mention of another saint's stigmata. But, yes. My posts get rummier with old age.

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), November 25, 2002.

"God is a monkey. I have proof." -- The Weiner
"80 or 100?" -- Emerald

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 02, 2002.

Emerald,

I'm a bit slow, but I finally figured out your response to Weiner! :-)

Too funny!

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), December 02, 2002.

"Hey, let's go Christmas caroling at Jim the atheist's house".

HOHO now THAT'S funny.

-- me (me@me.com), December 02, 2002.

"Your buddy, Luis Vilaplana, referred to himself as "Sikh." Can you please let him know that it is properly spelled "sick"?"

Thanks John!

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), December 10, 2002.

Quienes son los adeventistas y que diferencia tienen con la religion catolica

-- abilene (abilene@df1.telmex.net.mx), June 13, 1999 Answers Abiline, Would you let us non-speaking English folks in on this please? Peace - Jean B.

-- jean bouchard (jeanb@cwk.imag.net), June 14, 1999.

A MIRACLE. Jean is non-english speaking and writes it correctly!!!! A NEW PENTECOST!!

-- Enrique Ortiz (eaortiz@yahoo.com), December 10, 2002.

Enrique, I had to laugh out loud on that one. Thanks!

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), December 10, 2002.

"kneels ALMOST by putting his knees on the kneeling bench, but his rear-end is still parked on the pew -- a Half- Ass kneel!"

Compliments of Gail.

Thanks!

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), December 13, 2002.

""conferences and the Vatican ignore these arguments, as well as convincing scientific evidence,"

[do you guys have, like, a mole in the Vatican or something? Because, dang, you're good if you know that much about their deliberations!]"

Way to go, Skoobouy. Soooo True! Thanks.

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake_huether@yahoo.com), December 13, 2002.

wow, strange to think that i have been here since a while before november of 2002, which i can track because the quote from john about cannon's was correcting my confusion about canon (or was it vice versa, i can never remember)

anyway, topping this for a new quote:

"It's at best a waste of time and effort to spend a lot of it on trying to work out which if any historical events in the future are predicted in the Bible."

next week i went to the store...

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), October 25, 2004.

I'm glad I amused you Paul but I don't think it's that hilarious. I'll try to express it better. "It's at best a waste to spend a lot of time and effort trying to use Bible verses to predict future earthly events."

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), October 25, 2004.

all in good fun steve, i got what you meant to say... it was just funny wording. come on though, you're talking to a guy who can't figure out which can(n)on he wants to use during a debate.

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), October 26, 2004.

Here's one from the "Ask Jesus" forum:

"I'm having a hard time nailing down accurate percentages of growth from these groups; everyone claims to be the fastest groin. But in most cases, the rate of increase of secular "faith" is close, and sometimes higher than Christianity."

-- Luke Juarez (hubertdorm@yahoo.com), October 25, 2004.

I'm not sure that I could compete with those Christian groins. Should I even try?

.............

-- rod (elreyrod@yahoo.com), October 26, 2004.

Sometimes from what I read it should be, "the loudest groan"

-- Hayseed (Farmboy28@msn.com), October 26, 2004.

haha, found another good one...

someone said: “The Pope, as shepherd, must protect his flock from the wolves. That's his first priority. But I don't see him doing that.”

to which kiwi responded: Really? You’re not short sighted by chance are you?

-- paul h (dontSendMeMail@notAnAddress.com), October 27, 2004.