Taking the ASS out of Classic FM

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George Clark has requested that the following message be posted on his behalf -

Oh, how I look forward to the weekends! Those "R O B E R T S O N Free Days"! I really enjoy Saturday Morning with Colin fox and especially Sunday Morning with the "God Lady", Kay McLennan. Four years ago I made the change in frequency to ABC Classic FM after a staff re-organisation at out local "christian" radio station. My Doctor and my stress councilor both immediately noticed an improvement in my general well being. However, since February this has not been the case. I am not as well as I was. I find listening to the Robertson chap to be most distressing. For a while I tried to not listen to the radio, I bought a CD, but however do find that I prefer the variety of program skillfully chosen by Felix Hayman. As you know, radio is the most intimate medium, it is embarrassing to me to be dressing when Mr Robertson is on, so I wait until the news or a long piece of music before getting out of bed. I humbly request Mr Robertson be replaced by Mr Fox or someone similar. Alternatively, could you recommend a different frequency for me to tune in order to have some nice music and regain my mental health? If you require, I can obtain a Medical Certificate from my GP to reinforce the need for Mr Robertson's replacement. I just cant stand his insults to the remaining portion of intelligence any longer. If he must be employed by the ABC, please, find him a position where he has no public contact. Please, take the ASS out of Classic FM. I thank you in advance for your help, and again for the wonderful weekends. Yours Faithfully George M Clark Ph:(if required) Listening: Perth WA, 97.7mHz.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2002


I've enjoyed listening to Clive Robertson for many years - his wit, intelligence and general knowledge is not usually appreciated by the modern young whose primary interests usually only concern themselves.

An off-the-cuff response to being posted to Canberra was Clive's "being posted to Canberra is capital punishment!" I think the best thing I enjoy about listening to him is that he puts fools in their right perspective. Those persons who take themselves so seriously and are thorough bores would clearly not appreciate someone who can recognise them for what they are.

Please try to LISTEN to Clive Robertson; please try to LISTEN to what he is saying and you may find its just not quite what you thought you heard.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2002

Always eager to come up with constructive suggestions for improving the quality of the ABC FM programs, we would like to suggest the following job description for Clive Robertson, hereinafter referred to as Robertson:


Always keep in mind that repetition is the essence of humour; Never forget to point out names which you find funny, such as Teddy; Do not forget to talk about women's bits; Do not forget to have mock dialogues with yourself; Make frequent insinuations with regard to the sexual preferences of countertenors; Do not forget to refer to your parents' sex life, at least in December; Make frequent references to your ailments, such as migraine and insomnia; Tell listeners about your sense of smell and how women's perfumes affect you; Do not forget to make personal comments when reading the weather report; Do not forget to talk about your late mother, who was always late; Let the listeners have the benefit of your opinion of your fellow drivers; Make sure that you embarrass fellow presenters when you "interview" them; Do not forget to make remarks about the Public Service; Do not forget to make disparaging remarks about the ABC management and executives in general;


Robertson should be located in a soundproof room with a disconnected microphone.

Failing this, the ABC should let a tender to an inventor to develop a Robertson filter, so that all the listener hears is the music.

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2003

Don't care what you say, I'm living in the States now, and getting Clive via the internet after all these years is like a breath of fresh air. It's the nearest you Aussies will ever get to Kultyer!

Chris (Pommie but proud to be Ozzie!)

-- Anonymous, April 23, 2003

"A breath of fresh air"??? Recycled air. If you think that repetition is the essence of all humour and that Classic FM presenters should work through their personal problems on air, I can understand why yourare so excited. However, I don't.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2003

I will keep my reply short and sharp. I like Clive Robertson. I like his sharp wit and he makes me laugh.

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2003

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