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I think that's a good name for you because of that Radiant Smile I saw flashed in several pictures you sent especially when you were on stage.

It was a smile in a mouth with an interesting shape to it. When your smile was really WIDE and all those "choppers" showed your mouth appeared to approximate the golden rectangle of classical architecture, which is supposed to be the most pleasing shape known to the human mind.

Your smile was big and open at the corners. I'm not sure what that means but to me it made you look like a wild animal that was ravenous for life and love and experience and glasses of red wine. It made me want to offer myself to you as a crispy greasy fleshy tidbit to hurl myself or to let myself be plucked and placed gingerly or with Great Relish into the Cynthia Maw.

Do you know do you have ANY IDEA how sexy I find the gastropod? Of course you must since I sent you the postcard of lovemaking snails. And them with the hard, tangible drab spiral on their backs and us with the evanscent, intangible, elusive, irridescent spiral in the backs of our MINDS. And the SAME ONE if we can find it.

Now I'm tempted to cast myself before You onto the hard surface of the Playa in authentic supplication and surrender when I see You as You are NOW A QUEEN and that suggestion there that powerful overmastering electric charge of a connection circuit ground but first I must be humble and lie prostrate as I would before a Goddess. But then, you've always been a Queen. I knew that and THIS is nothing new.

And I'm going to go ahead and CAST and fall down on the hardpan before you like The Man when he is down stretched out before he is raised up to mount upon his dias and now a lighthouse.

I was reminded of Pharos. But it was not rounded but rectangular golden mean like Your smile but Your smile is not mean not that way it is kind and radiant and what could it MEAN to ME?

And I see myself lying in infinity on that cracked hardpan before You and what am I thinking and are You wondering what I was thinking and did You want to know or would it embarass You?

How does this worm rise up to and where to address or even approach the Radiant? Dragon Wurm though. Earh bowels and tunnels and lost mines and holes in the ground surrounded by thick dark bushes and You KNOW WHERE and You could show me.

The Bhean Sidhe, woman of the Barrows, knows the Way underground. and guide me to the Opening. To the Gate.

And I was thinking just where and what a strain like an inclined plane diagonal, rising up to see the horizon and your face and your hair in the wind

And I was wondering just where and what part of your body my head or my mouth would touch if I was on my knees in front of you and the circular horizon all around us.

That's what I was thinking.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2002


Beyond She.

I would like to go beyond she.

You stir old things, Daniel. You make me wonder about what it means to be ready for old things to be stirred. How do we prepare for the alchemy of change, when catalyst meets reagent and new things are born?

Is Consequence the genome of Free Will? Are we taking the strands of our past, chosen like a spinner chooses fibre, or a dyer chooses pigment - a weaver choosing thread - and then cloning a new form of beingness from the highlights of incarnation that our current state of maturity has moved us to discern?

I understand that there is no external readiness. There is nothing outside of myself that can be made ready for the real shifts that bring true change.

I understand that there is only internal readiness, and that much of that is acceptance, and most of that is gratitude, and that - beyond those, beyond she - there is little more inside of myself that can be made ready for those real shifts, either.

And so I focus in these last days on the details of getting by - of comfort for my staff while I'm gone, on my survival, on gifts, on ease of motion and simplicity of being - and leave the rest alone.

I finish my Will, so that an unanticipated death won't inconvenience others further than must needs be. I save the last day for notes and letters and cleaning - so I pack tomorrow, and Tuesday, and tie everything down Tuesday night.

But hourly, I have an image of you and I, under a moon, held in a breeze, with no clear line between us - bodies blended, hearts reminded, brains finally doing what brains are supposed to do - connect souls in the recognition of the Here and the Now, the only Place that can ever be shared by Just Two, where the One embraces and the Many recede.

You have quickened me.

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-- Anonymous, August 18, 2002

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