If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.

With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle

Wildman, (broker)

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2002

Answers

Loved the double entendre in your sign-off!

I think you're right, but I don't like Bud that much. Would a microbrew be just too "Wall Street"?

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2002

Thank you Heepish. So much of my "stuff" goes unnoticed most of the time. I don't mean on here, necessarily.

I didn't write the investment advice but am just passing it along. That doesn't mean I'm not going to be following it as soon as I can scrape together the money. I think the cheap beer cans sell for just as much as the expensive ones so I'd suggest you stick with the cheaper stuff. Well, that is unless you want to increase your investment and show off a little.

Wildman, (investing heavily)

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2002

Wildman, you will indeed be "investing heavily" if you drink all that beer! Now remember your elastic 'waste' band, cuz you gonna need it! Not much gets ya fatter faster than beer! (dont be askin me how i know that!)

By the by, I suspect your humor rarely goes unnoticed.....I think we may have all become so accustomed to rolling on the floor every time we read your stuff that we dont think of mentioning that we are rolling on said floor. Least wise that's my story! Like I always said, you are one funny funny funny guy (except when you venture into politics......sheeesh, please dont go there!).........and you are a blessing! I love funny people, truly I do.

And I agree with Heepish: Bud? you've got to be kidding! bleccchhh!!

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2002