this tank has my name on it ...

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Our kid is brain damaged, but can function in most ways normally enough to be considered competent. One bad area is the ability to distinguish whether or not someone else is not behaving normally. The kid has self-esteem issues at school and tends to hang out with 'bad' kids, the ones who have NO standards for what they do.

One of the bad kids wouldn't stop calling in the middle of the night. I call blocked the number and bought a new service from the phone company to keep my phone from ringing when I don't want it to. I have elderly relatives who need to call in the middle of the night if necessary, so simply unplugging the phone wasn't an option.

The bad kid harassed our kid on the job constantly in spite of repeated warnings from us and from the staff where our kid works.

The bad kid called DHS and claimed the most silly and outrageous types of abuse you can imagine, saying our kid was the victim and specifically I was the abuser.

Would you look at a healthy, smiling teenager without a mark and see a child who was beaten, starved, and hospitalized for malnutrition?

The deputy sheriff let us go after spending a few minutes alone with our kid. He apologized for having to waste our time and said that was the end of it.

DHS, on the other hand, decided to open an investigation into our entire family. We refused to divulge any information not pertaining to the allegations, and you should have seen them puff and bluster.

They said they would write on our referral to the DA's office that we refused to cooperate. We pointed out that we were in their office with the teenager as requested, and with our paid attorney too. (That attorney was fired the next day and replaced with an excellent one, but the cancelled check was our proof we had been in the office.)

They demanded the names, ages, gender, and social security numbers of all our children. We refused. I asked what the allegations actually were, and they were incensed that anyone would ask. I pointed out that I had given the names of witnesses, including the deputy, days before the interview, and they hadn't bothered to call any of them. I insisted that if they wouldn't check out information to clear me, I wouldn't give them any more to accuse me with.

So they trotted out and came back with the above mentioned list of allegations. The teenager said all of the allegations were false and offered to be strip searched for bruises. They ignored the teenager and continued to yell at and threaten us.

Mind you, the poor abused and beleagured 'victim' was totally ignored in this process by the very people sworn to protect.

They said they were taking us to court. We smiled and told them to go ahead, the judge prolly doesn't get a good laugh often enough. They turned colors. They demanded the other children be brought to them at once. We said there were no allegations on the other children and that we would not subject our children to their intrusion based on the word of a teenage druggie with a grievance against me.

Then they added to the list of allegations right there in the office. They said I had jerked my two year old by the arm. I smiled even bigger and assured them that we don't have a two year old child. They said I had to bring my kids in and prove it. I said they had to prove to a judge that I do have a two year old, and as I don't, they would have a difficult time with that.

They finally demanded to speak to our teenager alone. Our teenager flatly refused to be alone with a CPS worker out concerns for personal safety. The worker said he would write on his report to the DA's office "parents refused to leave the room as requested."

We laughed. I jumped up and said that I didn't refuse, and I tried to leave the room. My husband jumped up and said he didn't refuse, and he tried to leave the room. It's hard to leave a room with social worker sitting up against the door, by the way, we tried to leave on three occasions and were held against our will...but no matter.

Our teenager began yelling at the social worker that no interview would take place away from us and that the humiliation had been quite enough for one lifetime. Well, what could he do?

He asked if we spank our teenager, if we starve our teenager, and by the way, what did we have for dinner the night before.

The teenager rolled eyes and smart assed throughout the interview. The social worker magnaminously decided that he would probably close our case -- when he got around to it. He refused to give us any paperwork indicating his decision. Our worthless attorney refused to get any paperwork either, saying we could bring a copy by when we got it in the mail "in a few weeks." (eh?)

Our new attorney is expensive, and he begged us not to pay him since the case would be closed eventually anyway. He said the normal time frame for closure would put it around Christmas if we are lucky. I insisted on paying him to get the job done sooner, as we believe the other attorney had given the social worker the names and ages of our other kids behind our backs. Besides, this expensive attorney is now our attorney if they ever pick our kids up from school without a court order. He has never lost a case.

We're out attorney fees. Time from work. I had to take a leave of absence, tried to resign -- they're horrified and said I could have 60 days off without pay and come back when it's over. I had just recieved my second promotion for the year, and they cannot protect that position. It was a key position that must be filled quickly.

I will return to work at the bottom of the heap and work my way back up. I have taken around $4 an hour paycut, lost hours of pay, lost my new position and my old one, and spent hard earned money on an attorney when anyone with eyes and ears would have cleared us in two minutes ... in fact, the deputy took exactly two minutes to clear us.

Because a kid with a grudge and a high played with a phone.

The bright side is this: all of our friends -- many, many friends -- were behind us. Some of them took up a collection much to my horrified surprise, and others offered to take up a collection at our church. We have a huge list of people who will show up face to face with the authorities and testify in our behalf. The support has been humbling and overwhelming.

In return, I'm on my way to law school as soon as I figure out how to get financial aid. My family members commonly live well over 90 with mentality intact. I will have decades to fight CPS, and my husband has pledged to support us in full so that I can take cases for free.

They have no real power. They only make you think they have real power. Yes, they can mess up your finances, but they cannot do a damned thing if you just say no. NO, I will not give you any information that you do not already possess. NO, I will not stipulate to a lesser charge in order to avoid fighting a worse charge in court. NO, I will not agree to your lies, to your coercion, or to your methods.

I can only die once. I posted here about stopping a bulldozer, about how the experience made think I would some day stop a tank. I've always known there was a tank out there for me.

My tank is here. I will stand before it and laugh.



-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002

Answers

((((Helen)))) What an ordeal! I am so happy that you now are aware of all the love and friends out there pulling for you... Yes...KIDS...(some kids, not all kids!) can be too big for the britches, as my parents used to say! What an experience for the whole family, and community, and yet the REAL abused kids don't get help till they are found....DEAD!

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002

Holy cow, so this is perhaps why you have been "away"? {{{Helen}}} In your case it was too much to hope that you were off enjoying yourself somewhere. I think you can probably pay for law school by movie rights to your ongoing saga (just wondering who would play Mike the Mule).

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002

Helen, been exactly where you are three times. Once was when my son ran into the zipline he had made for his toy soldiers. He looked like I tried to strangle him! The next was when I refused to bail someone out of jail who I really didn't know. She turned me in, had all the names wrong and ages of the kids, the 3rd time was when I refused to give my grandson to a "friend" of my daughters so she could take him to the park. It takes a lot of time and energy but it is worth it to fight the system. But it does gall me that anyone can make a call and report whatever they chose to about you and it is taken basically for gospel truth. Good Luck on your fight!!

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002

Can't you file a suit against them for hassassement, etc, and claim lost wages and stuff?

If you're gonna pay the lawyer anyway, I mean...

That might speed them up on closing things.

sorry you have had to go thru so much lately. sure hope something wonderful befalls you soon!

Besides the wonderful friends and family, of course!

{{{{Helen}}}}

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002


Is it my imagination, or are bureacrats/social workers/govt workers of most kinds getting out of hand or at least getting worse? You don't have to go to law school H, just take a six- or nine-month paralegal course. Not only do you have access to attorneys for free (usually), you gain a lot of knowledge you can use for your very own benefit. Although it sounds ot me like you have already taken a paralegal course :)

Yes, have been there too but my case was quickly closed. Someone with a grudge or who was jealous reported me for child neglect. It was closed as soon as the social worker got back to the office.

I advise you all again--volunteer for a political campaign, several if you have time. All you have to do is offer to put up signs. After that they owe you. Only a little, but stil, they owe you. October's coming up fast--call your local politician's office and volunteer. Even if your candidate loses, he or she still has connections you might benefit from.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002



Spending something like four years or so lurking around the various greenspun incarnations from the original timebomb taught me a great deal about how to make an incompetent boob stutter. >;)

I love you guys. I'm going all the way through law school -- not for self protection but so I can take the suckers all the way to the mat myself.

Tip: if they don't have a court order, don't let them in. If you have a fence around your house, lock the gate at all times. Without a court order, they can't cross a locked gate. Kinda like a vampire can't cross a crucifix. >;)

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002


Ah, right, that will do it! I knew several people who went to law school in their forties and they did very well, men AND women. Go for it!

I considered going to law school, and could have got help from the law firm I worked for, but then realized I would hsave to hang around with lawyers :)

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002


Helen, if you really are going to do the law school thing, take a review course or at least get a good study book for the LSAT -- that's the test you have to take to get into law school. If you don't score really well on the LSAT, it'll limit your options as to where you can go.

I used to tutor the poor stiffs in basic English so they could pass their research and writing classes. Argh! I was trying to teach 29- year-olds the mechanics of writing complete sentences.

You write well, Helen, so your first two terms shouldn't be a problem, but how are you with basic accounting? You'll need a little to do well in your second year, when you encounter Wills & Trusts and the upper division business law classes (tax law!)

Agree with OG -- seriously look into a top-notch paralegal program. I've seen 50-something women make it through law school, but they had to **totally** focus on it -- forget about having any sort of family life or any crisis. You just don't have the time for anything but your classes.

This is not to discourage you, but please really look into what the day-to-day life will be like and look ahead to how you're going to finance taking the bar, the expensive three-day exam at the end of your studies. If you've got the total support of your family and a scholarship and/or someone to help with the bills, you'll be okay.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2002


Ah, right, I had forgotten the long weeks assocaites have to put in for the first few years of their employment. It can be up to 80 hours a week, much of which is spent in the library researching law for the partners. Um, actually, it's computers now, I forgot. Lexus and Westlaw--all the law you ever wanted to know available at your fingertups. And you will have to do this sort of work through your vacations, as a law clerk for a firm or a judge (if you have good connections or perfect exam results) and for a year or two after you graduate from law school. By the time you put out money for malpractice insurance, a storefront office, and furniture and equipment, you're in enormous debt. And you wwill have to take on "regular" clients to pay the bills for your pro bono clients, otherwise you won't be able to survive. Or you can work for a group like Legal Aid or whatever.

Perhaps there's help available through your local community? Oftentimes, there are special scholarships for "mature" women. There may also be scholarships for those willing to work in rural communities, just as for physicians.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2002


Git, a level of humanity has been introduced into most of the major firms. Those killer hours aren't the norm any more. However, it IS important to do something like that for a while because you don't learn in law school what it is you need to know.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2002


Geez! Am I hanging out with lawyers here? ;)

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2002

All good advice, and thank you.

I won't be out starting up expenses, as I plan to work out of our local church. We're already running a free medical clinic, and they are interested in taking our experience into a series of community forums. They want this county to provide an ombudsman available for citizens who need a clearer understanding of their rights in all areas, not just in child welfare. I'll be able to put in time with my favorite attorneys because I can work for them for free. Big, big plus factor. >;)

I guess I never spelled it out before, but I have a BS degree in computer science, minors in math and psychology, a hair short of a minor in business (got accounting in there somewhere), and I lack only a certification exam to be an official network dweeb. Before this happened I was already enrolled in paralegal classes for this fall because I was bored. I thought you guys preferred to hear about the mule. >;)

Any other information is deeply appreciated.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002


helen,

You are one strong woman! Go get em sister! You got more balls than most men I know. Hang tuff, good things will come of this.

apoc

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002


Helen, you KNOW we want to hear about ALL of it (and only in part because you have such a dynamic writing style).

If you can team up with the good attorneys, that is the best experience you could ever hope for. Paralegal certification can be help because, well, sometimes it helps to have the certificate to get your foot in the door, and sometimes it is actually relevant. (I had to create the paralegal course for what I do, it didn't exist.) So, if you have a choice of paralegal classes, it would pay to be particular. What I don't know is what the rules might be in your state for "lawyering" without the degree. There has been quite a crack down in Massachusetts on real estate closing services, where there were only paralegals and no attorneys. However, that might not be the case everywhere, and certainly the good real estate conveyancing paralegals know, on the whole, more about how it works than an attorney might.

Do stay in touch with us about this, some of us are clearly VERY interested...

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002


A bit of good news ... I went back to my supervisor today and offered to begin the entry level work this week if they needed someone. Half an hour later I walked out with a full schedule for the rest of this week, my normal schedule for next week ... and reinstatement to my former position!!!

They enrolled me in a tuition reimbursement program, so after paying tuition this semester, every semester after this one will be covered by the money reimbursed from the semester before. They pay 100% of my book fees if I make an A in the class. They said they want me to go to law school, and this program will take me all the way through.

Simply amazing...

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002



helen, these are the same folks who were jerking you around about your pay status a few months ago ? ? ? ? Does this mean that was resolved?

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002

Helen, I guess I'd better tell my lawyer jokes now, before you become one and get wroth.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002

How IS the mule???

-- Anonymous, July 29, 2002

Got a letter in the mail today:

case closed

They misspelled our address, but it was close enough for the mailman to figure it out.

They misspelled our name.

They included a number of other children who do not match our children in age or by name. We have kids in our file who aren't ours, apparently.

The supervisor and case worker who yelled at and threatened us are listed.

The formal complaint process begins tomorrow.

The mule is deeply relieved.

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2002


Good progress!

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2002

"We have kids in our file who aren't ours"

Very careless of you, helen. LOL

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2002


Filing was never Helen's strong suit :)

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2002

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